Good morning sunshine!!!
9/24/14 @7:23 am central time.
I havnt slept yet, I wasn't tired but now my eyes are shutting and I'm typing rubbish.
please forgive my errors, I'll edit later.
so I'll just post what I have so far! next chap I already wrote months ago. I have go back and reedit it now to fit the story. it shouldn't take long. I'll post it either today or friday after my exam.
Have a Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious day!!!
_______________
Raelynn's P.O.V.
________________
I woke up feeling nauseous but I didn't feel the urge to vomit at the moment. There was just the constant bland but bitter taste in my mouth and my stomach feels weird.
Mmh, maybe that's what woke me up.
Then I heard it, whispering, and realize that must have been what had woken me up.
"Move Ry! I'm laying next to mommy!"
"No you move you stupid doo doo head! I lay next to mommy!"
"No you move you scaredy pee bed baby!"
"I don't pee my bed!"
"Yes you pee bed Ry! I saw you hide your blanky and brief under the bed! Move or I'm telling daddy when he comes home!"
I stop listening to them fight when I heard them mention Bryce.
Is it wrong to say I still miss him after all he did? After all the lies he told?
I still love him.
Trust me I wish I didn't.
But you just don't snap your finger and fall out of love with someone.
Who am I kidding anyways, I've always loved him.
But loving someone or something doesn't mean it's what's best for you.
It's like candy. It's so sweet and lovable but it can gradually kill you. It tears you down slowly and you often don't realize how serious it is until its too late. First it starts with weight gain, then nutrients deficiencies, tooth decay, diabetes, obesity and then by the time you realize its too late, you're battling with osteoporosis or some heart disease.
Bryce is my candy, my kryptonite.
He slowly tore me down like the sugar in candy and now its too late, I'm stuck here battling with a broken heart, a baby on the way, and the thought of losing it and Tomar all at once.
Worst part is, he not only strung me along, but he strung our entire family along.
Gave the kids hope he shouldn't have.
Because there will be no us.
I may still love him because my heart refuses to listen to my brain, but my brain understands my self worth and not even my heart can deny it.
One may wonder why I'm still here, but I just couldn't leave.
Well I was planning to leave then but I realized that Tomar is not legally mine. Her mom is here and I can't take her away.
How do I now leave and give up a child my heart has adopted as its own to love unconditionally?
I love that little girl to the moon and back. I love her just as if I had given birth to her myself.
Also Elena wouldn't let me leave since they were all staying until Bryce is better, Cara is busy and my parents went on a cruise for their anniversary. Turns out they were just legally separated and never divorced because dad had refused to give mom a divorce.
My father now refers to it as my mothers "midlife crisis."
So in other words I would be home alone with the kids and Elena thought of it as too much stress with all that I'm going through. I would have objected, but it was the truth.
This pregnancy seems like it will be a hard one, and that's crazy because the triplets weren't a walk in the park, but it wasn't this nerve wrecking and its only one baby.
I have been getting really sick. Ethan had to have a doctor come over and take a look at me yesterday because I haven't been able to keep anything down for the past two days.
I'm losing a little bit of weight and find myself feeling dizzy sometimes but hopefully it will all pass by the end of my first trimester.
I heard the door open and look up to see Elena standing there with her hands oh her hips.
I then realize she has a scolding look on her face.
Oh no! What did I do now to have mother bear coming back to fuss over me.
"You two! Didn't I tell you not to bother your mother?" She said to the boys.
Better them than me.
"It was Rush!" Ryder jumped up and ran out the room as fast as he could.
Rush smuggled closer to me, burying his face in my side.
"Rush, come on hunny, let your mama rest!" She told him.
He shook his head.
"Rus-" she started to stay.
"It's fine Elena I'm up now, he can stay and lay with me." I smiled reassuringly at her.
"Ok. Fine. But don't you dare lift him up and put any strain on yourself, I doubt you have much strength since you haven't been eating. He can stay only if you promise no stress."
"Ok, I promise!"
"Good! Come out and try to eat breakfast with us when you're ready." With that she left.
What! It's morning already?
I look over to the window and see the thick drapes are closed leaving the room dark with nothing but an ounce of peeking through the far side.
Wow. I must have been really tired, I fell asleep late in the evening and slept right through. How could she still possibly want me to sleep more?
Rush lifted his head up and giggled.
I look at his adorable face, ran my hand along his cheek and smiled back at him.
"Good morning sleepy head mommy!"
"Good morning my giggle bunny Rush!" I kissed him.
I started to tickle him, while he squirmed and laughed.
"Stop mommy!" He yelled laughing louder.
After I stopped, he calmed down and tried to climb on me to lay on my chest.
"No baby, you can't lay on mommy!" I said sadly stopping him.
He gave me the sad eyes.
"Why? Are you still sick mommy?"
"Yes mommy is a little sick."
He sat there looking at my stomach.
What he did next shocked the hell out of me.
He rubbed my stomach.
"Uncle Ethan told Ti Ti that daddy will know you're pregnant when the baby in your tummy grows!" He then looked at me. "Is there a baby in your tummy mommy?"
I mumbled cursing Ethan.
I'm tired of telling them to be careful what they say around the kids and their all-hearing-ears.
Especially Rush, nothing gets past him.
"Yes, Rush, there is a baby in there, that's you can't lay on me right now." I told him as sinoke as i could. I wasn't going to lie to my child. How will he ever trust me?
I wish Bryce would have thought like that.
He scrunched his face up. "But I don't understand, how did the baby get in there?" He asked looking mad that he doesn't understand.
Rush is going to be a know it all child, he curiosity runs deep, and he never settles for a simple explanation, no he wants to know everything even if he has no clue what you're saying.
We you think he doesn't understand until you hear him go and try to explain what you just told him to his siblings and realized he grasped a lot more that you thought.
"Ok Rush. It's time for breakfast! Let's go." I got out of the bed and took his hand in mine, helping him to the floor and then to the dining area of the penthouse.
I said I wouldn't lie to them but who said I would answer all their questions?
We all sat down and ate breakfast and chatted for a while.
That was until Elena told me Bryce was being discharged today and would be staying here.
I was hoping he wouldn't be discharged until after my parents were back, Cara took her time off and I was back home.
Now I'm packing.
Yup, I'm getting the hell out of here.
I know I can't take Tomar because shes not mine. Had the situation not been this ludicrous, I would stay just for her but that ship has sailed.
I pack the kids bags as well. I am not one of those parents to leave their kids behind. They are my responsibility.
As I pack I think back to the last time I was at the hospital, five days ago.
I was already torn when the nurse mentioned his wife. The next day after thinking, I thought maybe it was a mistake or something, that I overreacted and surely when he wakes up he would tell me I'm wrong.
But seems I was wrong.
I understand that she is Tomar's mother and that he should be concerned about her, especially for the child's sake. But when he woke up, it solidified that I was wrong.
She was all he seemed to care about.
When he said her name, it was laced with so much emotion and desperation that his tongue, like a sharp knife, killed me without drawing blood.
I know he doesn't know I'm pregnant, or what happened at the hospital. I told them not to tell him, I plan on telling him myself, but just at the right time.
Now is not the time.
I refuse to have him jumping ship right now just because I am pregnant. He can be a father to this child and the others, just not anything more with me.
And the bastard had the nerve to knock me up.
I was so stupid not to realize before.
I swore he used a condom.
But now that I think about it, the next day after we had sex in the shower, I took the condom wrapper and condom up off the shower floor. It was wet but if he came in it, should there have been sperm filled in the condom?
I was too blissfully happy remembering what had happened the night before to even realize. If I had paid attention I could have taken a plan B.
Bastard.
How dare he?
Got me pregnant again for what? To leave me for the mother of his other child?
At first I thought I wasn't good enough.
Then I thought, he just prefers African American women.
But if that's the case, and he was with her, why keep coming back to me and make all those promises?
Now I realize why!
Bryce always gets what Bryce wants.
And what he wanted was to have his cake and eat it too.
Well too bad, this cake is finished!
Wait! Did I just call myself a cake?
Wow! Nice going Raelynn.
Anyways, as soon as I'm finished packing I asked Ethan to come and help me bring the stuff to the car.
He told me he had to make a call first.
They decided that if I really plan on leaving that Quinn would go with me.
I didn't want her to because I knew she really wanted to be there for Ethan and be with him. I have already robbed them of enough time they could have spent working on their relationship.
"Alright, I'm ready!" Ethan appeared back in the sitting area. "The driver is waiting downstairs. Evan went to get Bryce, so mom and I will take you all to the plane and see you off." He told me, as he hand all the kids their backpacks and pulled Quinn and I suitcase.
"You OK? Well I know you're not OK. That was a dumb question. What I meant was, how are you feeling? Any better?" She asked as she looped her arms through mine and we follow Ethan and the kids out to the elevator.
"The best way I can think to describe myself is like, driving a car with no destination. I'm just going through the motions."
"You know we're here for you right? You are not alone Rae! Never alone. You know unless I am married with a family of my own, you and the kids will always come first. As much as I love Ethan, I would sacrifice my relationship and love all over again, just to make sure you and my babies" she rubbed my belly "this peanut included, are happy and protected."
A tear of gratitude fell from my eye.
We had slowed our pace until we stopped walking, giving us privacy from Ethan and the kids.
"You guys coming?" Ethan was holding the elevator door.
"Go ahead babe, we'll be right there!" Quinn told him.
He smiled at her and you could see the undeniable love in his eyes for him. He would stop more than elevator doors for her if he had to.
I used to think that Bryce would look me like that, especially when I would catch him just sitting there staring at me in the office.
Yeah he was probably, gloating thinking, "how much stupider can this woman be."
A lot more apparently.
I escape from my thoughts and look at Quinn.
"Quinn you are more than a friend to me, you are my sister. Family isn't about whose blood runs through your veins. It's about who never left your side, who stood up for you and believed in you. I am honored to call you family. I'm grateful for all you've done for me and the kids and all that you still do, all the sacrifices you made, I very am grateful. But I want you to be happy. I make my choices and I try my best to live with them, you shouldn't have to as well. Please live your life and be happy. If its one thing I've learn since I became pregnant last time is that, no matter what, life goes on. Please be with Ethan and be happy. I was fine before Bryce, fine after him, fine when he came back and I'll be fine after him now."
She hugged me and I hug her back.
I love this girl. She has done so much for me, no amount of money could repay her or express my gratitude.
"Remember what we used to say about boys in high school?" She asked releasing me and smiling.
I nod.
"Boys are a commodity, not a necessity!" We both same at the same time.
She giggled and I smiled, remembering the days when life was so much simpler. But I wouldn't go back, I wouldn't give up my kid for anything.
"Come on sister, let's go home."
I love the sound of that.
I think she just went from my sister to my saviour.
Ok a bit extreme.
We got on the Elevator and rode it down to the lobby. When we got outside, the trucks were there, all the luggage loaded in, the kids strapped in as well as Ethan and Elena.
I did see when she went down.
I got into the truck with Elena and the kids, while Quinn got into the first one with Ethan.
I buckled up and the driver pull off.
"I didn't see you come down Elena." I commented as she was handing Tomar a juice who kept reaching for me instead of the bed.
I missed her. I've hardly spent anytime with them in the past two days because I haven't felt well enough.
Apart from Tomar sleeping with me when she gets cranky and the others don't know how to calm her apart from giving her what she demands, her mama, brushing Rayin's hair before bed and reading them all a story, I haven't done much with them.
"I came down before you all did. I spotted this cute little bracelet I'm the gift shop window on my way in yesterday, I came back and got it for that little princess back there since she was sad about missing her dad" she smiled sympathetically at me.
"That's really nice of you." I told her.
"Look mommy! A princess bracelet for a real princess!" Rayin perked up behind me after hearing her grandmother mention her bracelet.
I wanted to laugh because if what she said. "For a real princess" so is she admitting she wasn't a real princess until now?
I turned slightly, facing her. I took a hold of her wrist. "Wowwww RayRay! It's beautiful, but not as beautiful as you." She smiled brightens, eyes shining brightly at my compliment. "Did thank your grandma?" I asked.
"Yes mommy! I thanks her lots! I love grandma!" she responded.
Not in the mood to correct her I said "ok". I engaged in conversations with them as we drive.
Soon I notice we're stopping. I look out and saw huge high walls and metal gates. A security booth was in front of it.
The truck Ethan and Quinn are in stopped at the guard station as they were in front of us.
"What's going on?" Elena asked our driver. Since all the drivers spoke English we were able to communicate with them
" I don't know ma'am! I just have strict instructions to follow that driver."
"Do you know what's going on Raelynn? This is not the airport!" She asked
"I'm just as lost as you." I looked up ahead just in time to see the gates open and Ethan's truck pass through.
Our truck followed thereafter.
Once we were in, there was another gate, but we turned and park in a parking lot in between Ethan's and another just like it.
What the hell is going on?
As I was about to turn to Elena to see if she still clueless, my door opened.
"Daddy!"
"Daddy!"
"Yayy Dada!"
"Daddy!"
My heart leapt and my brain caught on fire.
Bryce is standing before me.
I'm not ready.
I feared this moment.
I guess it's time to kiss fear goodbye
~~~~Author's Note~~~~
BRYCE AND RAE ARE FACE TO FACE??????
WHO WANTS TO EXPLAIN TO RUSH HOW THE BABY GOT IN THE TUMMY??????
RAE IS DONE WITH BRYCE!!!!
SO MUCH DRAMAAAA!!!