They didn't let me go. They didn't let me leave with him.
Mr Halliday found us seconds later after the crash and immediately called the ambulance. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to get into the ambulance and stay by his side. But they didn't let me. They made me stay, wait until class finished, and even gave me and Kyle a detention. The whole time I couldn't even think straight. I couldn't think about anything other than the blood and the glass shattered all around Daniel. And all I did was stand there pathetically. I couldn't do anything.
When the final bell rang, I ran out of there. I didn't even bother grabbing my bag from my locker. I ran as fast as I could out of the school premises towards the hospital.
I didn't care about everything around me as I did. I didn't care that I jaywalked. I didn't care that I was almost ran over by the tram. I was desperate. My eyes blurred with tears as I ran, ignoring the yells from the people I accidentally shoved, and ignoring the yells of the security guard telling me to stop running when I got to the hospital.
My mind was focused on one thing and that was to find Daniel. To make sure he was okay.
I ran towards the reception desk. A man was sitting there on the phone, talking but I interrupted. My hands shook, my heart racing uncontrollably fast that I couldn't even breathe right.
"Where's Daniel?" I demanded.
The man looked at me with shock in his eyes. He asked the person on the other side to wait and placed the call on hold.
"Please calm down, ma'am," said the man.
I wanted to scream. How could I calm down? How could he possibly think I could be calm right now? I didn't care if I looked like a lunatic. I had to see him. I needed to know if he was okay.
"Where is Daniel!" I repeated, almost yelling.
"Is he a patient here?" he asked calmly.
"Yes, yes," I said through gasps of air. "His name is Daniel Ross. He came here in an ambulance over an hour ago."
He nodded solemnly. He looked through the system and I felt my foot tapping impatiently. Why was it taking so long?
"He's at the emergency room," said the man.
I didn't even need to wait to tell me where it was. I started running, hearing my footsteps echoing in the hospital. I knew where the emergency room was. I'd been here so many times visiting dad it was like I knew this place with the back of my hands. I kept running, feeling my legs beginning to wane but I ignored them. I managed to get to the other side within minutes, and found dad walking a patient out of the emergency room.
"Ellie, what are you doing here?" dad said the moment his eyes fell on me.
"Dad, where is he?"
"You know about it?" he asked.
Of course, I knew about it. I saw it happen right before my eyes. I was there!
"Where is he?" I asked again, my voice slightly raised. I was panicking.
Dad gestured for one of the nurses to take the patient and stepped me aside to the corner of the room. "You need to calm down, Ellie."
"Please tell me he's okay."
"He's okay. Don't worry. He lost a lot of blood, even be a little concussed and a broken bone but we're keeping an eye on him. He'll be okay," dad reassured. But I felt anything but.
Concussion. Broken bone. How was any of that okay? How could dad say that he was going to be okay?
"Let me see him." It wasn't a request. I looked at the doors to the emergency room, heading straight towards it. I didn't care if I wasn't allowed in there.
"Ellie," dad said, stopping me in my tracks. "You know I can't let you go in there right now. Only family members allowed."
I turned to him, tears forming at the corner of my eyes. "Please," I begged. Dad sighed and shook his head. He pulled me in for a hug and I pressed my cheek against his chest. "I need to see him. I can't let him be there alone." I can't do the same thing I did to him like I did with mum.
"He's not alone. His parents are in there with him right now," dad advised softly. "You can wait here if you'd like. If he gets better, we can let you see him."
I wanted to protest but I knew there was no point. Dad was a stickler for the rules, and I couldn't take advantage of the fact he was my dad. I nodded reluctantly. I headed to the waiting room and sat in the corner, facing the doors to the emergency room. I ignored all the stares on me and tried calming my breathing, but it came out ragged. I felt a lump lingering at the back of my throat and my head aching in pain.
I closed my eyes hoping it'd help. But the images of the blood pooling around him, the shattered glass sporadically everywhere and Daniel groaning in pain was burnt at the back of my eyes. It was all I could see. The blood. There was so much blood. And I just stood there like an idiot. Watching him in so much pain and I couldn't move. Just like I couldn't with mum.
I felt so hopeless. I felt weak and pathetic. Why didn't I go to him? Why did I just stand there and watch? Why did I freeze? I hated myself. I hated being so afraid.
But when I looked at Daniel, all I saw was mum. I remembered her eyes looking at me, breathing raggedly. What made it all worse, Daniel got hurt because of me. Daniel got hurt because he got into a fight with Kyle because of me. All of this happened because I couldn't tell Kyle I didn't like him, and I couldn't stop the fight before it got worse.
I couldn't lose Daniel the same way I lost mum.
Mr Ross walked out of the emergency room a few hours later and I jumped up to my feet the moment I saw him. His eyes landed on me and he smiled sympathetically. He looked exhausted.
"Your dad just told me you were waiting out here," he said when he approached me.
"How is he?"
He nodded reassuringly, "He's okay. Got a few stitches and some saline, but he'll be alright. Nothing he can't handle." He tried to sound light hearted, like it wasn't too much of a big deal. I knew he was doing that just to make me feel better and it didn't.
"You can see him now, if you'd like," Mr Ross offered.
Before I could even say yes, I stopped myself. How was I going to look him in the eye? How was I going to face him and explain to him why I stood there like a deer caught in the headlight? I just stood there and did nothing. I just stared while he was bleeding out.
Beth was right and her prediction came true. When Daniel needed me the most, all I dd was stand there and let it all happen. Daniel got hurt because I abandoned him.
"Is everything okay?" Mr Ross asked.
I stood a step back, and shook my head. "No. I should let him sleep. Probably best if I go home with dad. I'm just glad that he's okay," I mumbled. Mr Ross didn't protest. He nodded solemnly.
"Please keep me updated?" I asked.
Mr Ross nodded. "Of course," he replied.
He hugged me a goodbye and told me that he'd tell Daniel I was here before heading back into the emergency room. Dad and I left ten minutes later. We headed back home in silence. It was already eight o'clock, and I felt tired the moment I entered my room. I laid down on bed, taking in a long deep breath hoping Daniel was okay while observing my room.
The small paper cranes I was folding last night were scattered across the floor. I only had twenty more to make before I made one thousand. Twenty more away from making a wish. I pulled the blanket off me and moved to the stack of small, squared paper, and continued making the paper cranes. It was served as a good distraction until I remembered my pending wish, and felt the tears swell in my eyes.
My hands fumbled as I folded the papers, feeling my heart squeezing in pain. By the time I pressed the beak tightly together of the last paper crane, I placed it on the floor and sucked in a deep breath.
I stood up and walked to my wardrobe, taking out the large box of all the other paper cranes and poured it all over the floor with the others. It was an array of multiple coloured paper cranes of blue, orange, pink, green and purple sitting before me.
One thousand paper cranes done. Now, time for my wish.
"I wish I never accepted that deal with Daniel." Then maybe, none of this would ever happen. Then maybe, I wouldn't have abandoned Daniel when he needed me the most.