"Seriously, T? It's nearly eighty degrees outside and you're wearing a long sleeved shirt?"
I pulled the cuff down my arm more, giving my best friend a sheepish look. With my voice low enough for only him to hear, I mumbled, "I would rather not get the weird faces today, Brenton. I have places to be and don't want any questions about it."
It was a normal thing for me, and one quite taboo as well. Being twenty-one and not finding my match was one of the most humiliating things ever. You get people with questioning eyes and those who can't hold in their curiosities, the people wondering what was wrong with you.
'You haven't found your Match yet? How old are you?'
'Unmatching is such a shame for a pretty girl like you.'
'You still haven't met your Match? Are you even trying?'
I stared at my own Marking, the dark lettering that could stand out in a pitch black room to say the least. It read a single, full name: Jonah Alexander Ward. I tugged my sleeve down to cover it, feeling self-conscious as I always did.
This happened to everyone. During puberty, the beginnings of a name will appear on the forearm of every single person and slowly turn to black over the course of a year. That name signifies their soulmate and once they touch for the first time, the Marking turns a dull gray color. Due to this happening around the pre-teen age, every child would attend either an all-girl or boy school until the age of fifteen to prevent the risk of Pre-Matching, a special term for having the mark turn gray during the first year because that person had already met their match. Class and school sizes are kept small to prevent the risk even more for those couples paired with the same sex. Pre-Matching makes for awkward encounters and more often than not, separation at an early age.
At around seventeen every girl and boy takes a year off of school in search for their soulmate. With the technology and other advances we have, it is really common to find them during that period. They then return to their separate schools and finish off their education until they decide on where their future will take them.
Me? I haven't found my pair. At twenty-one years old, I was finally coming to terms with believing that I was Compromised—a faulty match, a soul mate that had a different name on his arm whose wasn't mine, or a person who just didn't exist. It's just so uncommon and frowned upon to not have found mine at my age. I was out of school, had a decent job, but no Match despite doing everything by the book.
I hid my Marking a lot, much to Brenton's annoyance. My wardrobe contained a variety of long-sleeved shirts and jackets, and very few that barely covered my shoulders. Concealing it was easier, but if you looked closely at someone and for a long enough time, you knew what stage they were at in the process: Pre, during, and post. All determine how we looked and acted much to my dismay. I hated not having my match and I hated being the odd one of everyone.
My emotions must've been showing on my face because a familiar hand wrapped around my clenched fist. I looked up at my best friend, Brenton, and I started to calm down. Even though we weren't Matched with each other, we were really close friends. He hadn't found his pair either: Dakota Kendall Carpenter. We met in our apartment complex after both of our friends left and bonded with their own equals. Since then, we've united ourselves and even though I know that we're not meant to be together, I wish his name was the one imprinted onto my arm.
Dating when not Matched was frowned upon in our society, but not overly so. It was like not doing your homework—Disliked, but not illegal. We mostly hid our Marks and no one even noticed if they just skimmed by us. Of course if they looked closely they wouldn't be able to see the glint in the eyes of those Matched, or how their bodies tend to work as one. We were together and friends for fun, not for anything else, and it was a nice distraction from my Match, Jonah.
"Thanks, Bren," I huffed out and tugged my shirt closer to my body as if to make the Mark disappear. As we maneuvered through the streets, I peeked up at my best friend sneakily, taking in every feature that I've come to know in the last three years.
My mother and I used to always talk about what my Match would look like. What his hobbies were. Where he lived. Staring at my friend now, he was exactly what my mom had described: light brown hair, tall, and smart. Not too athletic, but still fit. Nice, and not a rebel. Everything she said was seemingly rolled up and shaped into a specific boy named Brenton Theodore Egan. The first time I brought him over, my mom almost had a heart attack from being so excited. I carefully had to explain that he was just a friend, not a Match. She was disappointed back then that I hadn't found my true pair. I don't even want to know what she thinks of me now three years later and still not matched, considering the fact that I haven't talked to my family for over a year.
Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he pulled me into the familiar burrow where the trains lied. The gross, musty scent hit my nose and I scrunched up my face in disgust. Brenton laughed and pushed me forward to where a group of people were waiting for the next subway to stop.
Looking around, it was familiar to see the short-sleeves of everyone, especially since it was nice out today. Some younger people's arms showed dark Marks, like my own, but the faded, gray ones were more common. In a world where finding your soulmate is so simple and laid out for you, many people jumped at the action to find them and although I did so too, I have had yet to believe that this Jonah guy was doing the same thing.
"Teagan," Brenton moved a piece of strawberry blond hair out of my face and I scowled even more at the couples. "Stop freaking out."
"This is too frustrating," I muttered. "Why aren't you like this?"
"Maybe because I have you to distract me," he joked and I pushed him playfully away from me.
We sat there just making small talk while we waited for the subway to come. We ended up getting halfway through a game of rock-paper-scissors when it finally came to a stop in front of us and people began pushing to either get in or out of the train. Personally, I wasn't fond of the big-city attitude, despite having grown up in one of the busiest cities around, so Brenton and I waited to go in until most people have cleared out and the doors were only seconds from closing. Due to this, there was only one available seat and Brenton cleared the way for me to take it.
"What a gentleman," I grinned and the elderly woman next to me hummed in approval.
"It's always nice to see a new pair together," She clicked and adjusted her glasses. I shifted nervously in my seat, hoping that those glasses weren't doing their job. I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that it's painfully obvious when people aren't paired with each other, because that's when the judgmental remarks came... I've gotten enough of those to last a lifetime.
After a few stops, the woman next to me got off and Brenton took her spot. He immediately began going on about how one of his coworkers was causing a ton of drama at work. Having heard this story a million times, I resulted to people-watching. All the names on their forearms irked me, especially those who had already found them. They didn't know the pain of having to wait for someone that might not even make an appearance. Luckily, I still had Brenton to help me through it.
But even though I hated feeling like this, I always wondered about the first meeting. When I was in school, I used to hear stories all the time about how girls who have ordered coffee and then found their soulmate. The most common one would be they found them online on the appropriately named 'matched.com.' I have been on that so many times that it's topped my most viewed sites and even then it was a last hope for me. I never wanted to have met my Match on some stupid website, I wanted it to be spontaneous... abrupt. Something exciting to tell our kids about.
But as time went on, I had basically given up on finding him. Obviously I'm Compromised in one way or another. Having gone around eight years with this name on my forearm and no premise of a soulmate around, it got rather lonely and heartbreaking. Having all your old friends move away with their new lovers while you're all alone with no one is a pretty heavy and painful thing to live by. Enough time passes and you just turn stoic and indifferent to the anticipation of meeting your soulmate and didn't even expect it to happen anymore. I'm pretty sure both Brenton and I were at that level, or at least rather close to it.
"What are you thinking about, T?" Brenton nudged me from my thoughts.
My eyes avoided his. "You know what."
He sighed and pulled me closer to him. "Really? Are you seriously thinking of that again?"
"How can I not? It's literally imprinted into my skin. This Marking is a daily reminder that I'm still waiting—waiting for something that might not even happen." I huffed out and slumped down in my seat. This time, I lowered my voice so only he could hear. "Do you ever think about how you'll meet them, Bren? How that first moment will feel like. Whether they'll just know that you're the one..."
He pursed his lips. "No. I honestly don't think of that."
"Well, you're a guy. When I was in intro school, all the girls and I talked about that like meeting them and falling in love was the greatest thing we had to live for. Now here I am without this Jonah guy. I have the name in my mind almost every hour of the day. I keep my ears open for just a chance of hearing it in the distance or something." I sat up a little straighter but still kept my voice at a mumble. "I've always imagined meeting him unexpectedly. Like I'll be reading at a library or bookstore or something and he'll come up and ask me what book I'm looking at. I'd smile and hand it to him and when our fingers touched, there was the spark—the spark that every little girl looks forward to."
"Wow, Teagan," he teased. "You've really thought a lot about this. Now tell me... what color are the flowers at your wedding going to be?"
I felt myself blushing and turned away from him, "Shut up..." I mumbled.
He laughed and slung his arm across my shoulders. "Oh, calm down. I'm just kidding. I think it's cute that you've thought so much about this."
"Come on, I know you think it's desperate."
He gave me a cheeky grin, "You know me too well."
The train stopped again and more people exited the car, only a man with his hood on entered, sitting across from us all hunched down. I was suspicious for a moment until a slight breeze came in and a shiver went up my spine. My whole body felt like there were bees inside so I drew my knees up to my chest and looked at Brenton.
"Bren... You have to tell me that you've at least thought about how you'll meet her."
He shrugged. "Nah, not really. I'm not all that interested. When it happens, it happens, you know? I mean, of course I took the time to look for her, but nothing came up. Dakota is a common name for elderly ladies, not for young girls. It kind of scares me that everyone I'm finding is over forty."
I laughed and bumped his shoulder. "You never told me that you're into older women," I teased and I took satisfaction in seeing his face turn red.
"I-I'm not! I just haven't found her!"
"Because you gave up," I pointed out and he glared at me.
"Fine. I admit it, I gave up a few months ago, but when you're looking for years, it gets old after a while. Finding no information or anything doesn't make me feel any better about finding her, Teag. I know she's not dead, but I haven't found her either. That's not a good sign."
When your Match dies or is already dead, the Mark becomes like a scar. It's still there and the name clearly shows, but it is no longer a shade of gray or black. It blends into your skin as a reminder that they're still there with you. I've heard that having your soulmate die hurts, contrasting with the first meeting where it is supposed to be the greatest feeling in the world. The Marking gives off emotional as well as physical pulls to your Match and, as I was told in school, the stronger those feelings, the greater the bond.
So I guess that this Jonah character and I had a bond weaker than my feelings for pizza.
I turned to Brenton and offered him a small smile. "Hey, come on now. She's probably just a little caught up. Maybe she's super rich and is getting her life on track before meeting you."
"Yeah and I'm also the president."
I rolled my eyes at him and settled into my seat some more. The tingling was still there so I pulled my shirt closer to me, casting it off as the air conditioner being too cold. After a few more minutes of a comfortable silence, our stop came and the two of us plus that other man all got off.
"Come on, Brenton! Let's go find your Match," I joked as I grabbed his hand and slowly started pulling him towards the stairs.
He laughed and grappled out of my grip. I turned around, walking backwards now while pouting at him. "Really now?" Brenton teased. "Why don't we go find yours, Miss I-Want-To-Meet-Him-Spontaneously." My best friend smirked at me. "Let's go to that bookstore you were talking about. Is that unplanned enough for you—"
He stopped talking when I felt my foot only hit air. Half a second too late I realized that we had hit the staircase and I was going to take a hard crash down on the concrete stairs. Brenton was too far away to grab me, and there weren't any railings on this side so I was pretty much screwed. That is, until the man who sat across from us on the subway stepped forward and grabbed my arm, pulling me up.
As soon as his hand touched my arm, everything stopped.
From where his grip began sprouted streaks of lightning, sparks, and electricity that flowed through my entire body. Everything was blurry except for the man in front of me. His green eyes showed surprise as they didn't leave mine, but it wasn't like I could look away even if I wanted to. My whole body irradiated with both heat and ice. There was not a single part of me that wasn't completely consumed by this feeling that everything was perfect, right then and there. I felt like running a mile and also wanting to pass out at any given moment.
There was simultaneously nothing but then everything. Life had stopped directly in that moment and I could live just like this forever as long as this man was there with me.
With another blink, everything righted itself. The moment seemingly gone in a second, but also felt like it lasted a year. The man in front of me stared at me incredulously and I looked back, just taking in his appearance: Dark hair that laid in a messy manner and was slightly too long. Just hints of stubble tickled his cheeks and his eyes were a jaded color. He couldn't have been only a few years older than me and I couldn't help but think he was the most handsome guy I have ever seen.
Yet, even with all of this, my mind never put two and two together until I looked down at where his hand was still grasping me and saw his arm. Although he was wearing a jacket, my first, middle, and last name were peeking out with the gray ink prominent against his olive skin.
Gray lettering. My name on his arm. The spark.
Wrenching myself out of his grip, I pulled up my own sleeve and saw that Jonah's name was now grayed out. My eyes widened as I looked at the man—Jonah, I now knew.
"You..."
"Holy crap," Brenton commented, reading my mind. "You two are Matched."
Jonah now looked panicked and jumped away from me. "I, uh... I have to go," a surprising accent marred his words and I felt all the emotion, the tingling, fade from my skin as he dropped his grasp and started walking away quickly. I felt lonely without it and it's only been a second.
"Wait, Jonah!" I yelled and chased after him, but the subway station was a busy place. As soon as I turned the corner where he was rushing, I already couldn't find him through the mass amounts of people.
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Hello everyone!
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy the first chapter of my newest book! It's going to be interesting and I'm SO excited to write it! I plan to update once a week, so stay tuned :)