I began to feel tears fall down my cheeks, It felt warm I had no way to stop them from running.
I felt my heart getting pulled out of my chest, Just because of over thinking about how i did everything i can, Everything that was in my hands to help my mom get saved, But no she had to.... Leave from this world... Leaving me alone with the horrible monster of my dad.
At first i can always remember how that day i would never stop blaming myself for my mom's death, But since then i can relate it was my dad's fault when everytime i picture in my head how my mother died and why.
Because of that stupid asshole named my father that's why! This is one of the biggest reason on this planet i hate that man, I Don't even consider him as my father i look at him as my mother's murderer, Someone that thanks to his stupidity i lost my mom.
The mother any fucking kid would want to have, And now all i know is that she is gone....
Really gone for real this time, As i started to picture my mom's face i begin to sob so hard that my vision was getting blurry.
It's so hard being in jail and not having no one beside you now that you need someone the most, And that someone i need is my mom.
I only know that I'm not going to court until next week so i will be here for a while now just knowing i did what i did to my dad, Because he deserved it and he earned it also.
No one knows how i feel inside better then myself, I know all the pain, All the suffering, All the hate that's floating through my head, It's all hunting me down, its horrible.
You can't even imagine half of the shit I had to go through just so i can be able to look this strong in the outside, But in the inside I'm a totally different person, The person my mom taught me to be one day, Sweet nice and sensitive.
But i just rather keep that side hidden for now, Just because i don't need it. But part of me gets scared everyday, Because that other part of me is dying slowly..
I had a small blade on the bottom of my prison bed, Which i had made on my own, I looked at the blade, And while at it, I took out my left arm and began slicing my wrist slowly, Feeling every single cut burn away fast.
Seeing how my blood was so red that it looks like I'm loosing too much, But I don't care i might as well die and this time go home with my mom, Where i belong, In my moms arms.
I can feel the World spinning around slowly, And then going much much faster.... Until I passed out, From too much blood out of my body.
The whole entire prison cell looked like a mini kids pool from my own blood, i felt relief after all, Feeling a little burn and pain then passing out, i feel I'm going to see my mom soon, very soon.