-- Ch. 5
Exile.
It takes your mind, again.
"Really? You... You want me?"
Palebird and Mapleshine shared a look, amused, and Palebird nodded.
"Only if you're willing. You used to be close with Sandgorse - we trust you."
"Well, okay.. But someone should tell Tallpaw."
"I'll tell him," Mapleshine offered. "Hopefully the news will cheer him up. The assessment this morning was rough -"
"What news?"
Mapleshine jumped, spinning to face Tallpaw as he appeared in the nursery entrance. She glanced to Palebird and Woollytail. The molly she loved looked overjoyed, but Woollytail was nervous. Reasonably so.
"Tallpaw," She started. "Palebird and I have been talking for some time, and... We've decided, we're going to try and have kits."
His eyes flashed. There seemed to be some happiness there, but it was guarded. "But you're both mollies," He murmured. Mapleshine nodded, feeling a little more nervous and taking a deep breath.
"That's why Woollytail is here. He... He agreed to help us. Palebird wants to carry."
Ah, there's the anger. Tallpaw's claws dug into the ground, and he hissed at Woollytail. "What about Sandgorse? You were his friend! How could you just -"
Woollytail ducked his head away awkwardly, and Palebird jumped to his defense. "Sandgorse agreed to help me carry you and Finchkit, before Mapleshine ever came to camp, and Woollytail supported him. He agreed to be the backup, if Sandgorse turned up... Barren. He trusted him, and we're trusting him now."
Mapleshine skirted closer, nudging the 'paw reassuringly. "You'll always be her first kit," She murmured, relishing in the faint surprise in Tallpaw's eyes. I've earned the right to call myself your mother, and I'm proud to be one! "But, StarClan willing, you shouldn't be her last."
Tallpaw hesitated, glancing between them before sighing softly and nodding. "If... If it makes you happy."
He turned to pad off with that, and Mapleshine drooped in relief, turning to Palebird and pressing their heads together before looking to Woollytail.
"If you two are ready, now's your time to try. Tallpaw's naming ceremony will be happening soon, though - that's what Heatherstar said, anyway. I need to go make sure he stays out of trouble."
The tom nodded, and Mapleshine parted ways, darting out of the nursery to chase down Tallpaw; Cloudrunner had done the job already, however, calling him over. Mapleshine hurried over, puffed up with pride as she made her way towards Heatherstar. After all your struggles, you earned this!
"Leaf-bare is coming, but we will face it with two new warriors!"
Woollytail and Palebird hurried out from the nursery, eager to support Tallpaw. They'll have time to try later. She eyed her apprentice - her son - with pride, purring as he settled next to Shrewpaw and Barkpaw, just before Heatherstar.
"Shrewpaw, your warrior name will be Shrewclaw, in honor of your skill at hunting and fighting. You've trained well, and you're worthy of your warrior name. Barkpaw, I name you Barkwing, in honor of your mother - just like her, your patience and ferocity is admired. And, Tallpaw," She purred, shifting her gaze to the black-and-white tom, "Your father always meant to name you for your long tail, and so, I give you your name in honor of him. Talltail, one day you will be a greater warrior than you can even imagine. Sandgorse would be proud."
The Clan erupted in cheers for the two warriors, and Mapleshine watched her son with pride, but he looked so very distant. Something in her chest shifted at the look. What are you thinking about?
***
Mapleshine was confused when she returned from hunting to find the camp bustling with activity. Carrying her rabbit to the fresh-kill pile, she dropped it, looking around in confusion for a moment before flagging down Lilywhisker. "Hey, what's going on? What did I miss?"
"Oh, Mapleshine," She murmured, "I'm so sorry. Talltail left."
Something inside her shattered. "What?"
"He left WindClan," She repeated. "He said he was leaving for good, and Heatherstar just... Let him go."
"No," She gasped. "No, no... How - how long ago did he leave?" I have to catch up! I didn't even get to say goodbye!
"Just a few moments ago," Lilywhisker responded. "Barkwing left with him."
She didn't hesitate for another moment, turning and pelting back out the way she came, gasping softly to herself as she went. She paused upon almost slamming into Barkwing, looking at him in shock while his pelt bristled.
"Where's Talltail?"
"He just crossed the border a minute ago," Barkwing replied, features softening with sympathy. "I saw him there myself."
"Take me," She breathed, and Barkwing dipped his head, leading the way at a full sprint. Finally, they drew to a stop atop the ridge, and Mapleshine heaved as she watched Talltail; he was barely more than a blurry shape in the grass, running wild and free. He looked happier than he had in moons. Even so, a part of her felt as though she'd been attacked by a badger, and she sank to her belly, choking on a sob.
You took away my first three, and now you take away my fourth?
Barkwing trailed his tail over her spine, trying to be reassuring. "It wasn't your fault," He murmured, watching her carefully. "He's been talking about going for a long time, and... Well, StarClan gave me a sign today."
Mapleshine closed her eyes, ignoring the wild notion of a warrior getting a sign from StarClan. "So everyone wanted him to leave after all?"
"No," Barkwing snorted. "You should have seen the fuss everyone kicked up over his leave. Even Shrewclaw was sad. And, you and I are here, watching him go. That must count for something."
She lifted her head, opening her eyes again. Talltail had disappeared. She picked herself up, taking a deep breath and looking to Barkwing with a faint smile. "Have I ever told you that you'd make a good medicine cat?" Everything about him - even his posture - reminded her of Larkwing. He chuckled, giving his chest a few licks.
"Actually, I was going to ask Heatherstar if she could apprentice me to Hawkheart when we got back to camp."
"Well! What are we waiting for, then?" She put forth a grin, swallowing her grief and standing up to walk home with Barkwing. Talltail had made his choice; at least she could rest knowing he was still alive, and happy. Until then, she had a Clan to tend to.
The tunnel snagged on her pelt when she re-entered, and she sighed happily as she gazed across the camp. Palebird and Lilywhisker talked calmly together; Palebird's belly was swollen, and it wouldn't be long now before their kits arrived. Barkwing steered away to pick at some fresh-kill, and Mapleshine stretched. Everything is well.
"Mapleshine!"
She perked up at Heatherstar's meow, sauntering over quickly to meet her with full attention.
"Have you heard about Talltail?"
"Yes," Mapleshine swallowed her pain. "Barkwing took me up to the ridge."
She dipped her head. "I'm sorry."
"We couldn't have stopped him," The tortie reasoned, and Heatherstar smiled, beckoning her down into the Meeting Hollow. They sat there together, and Heatherstar took a breath.
"Reedfeather is retiring soon."
She blinked in surprise. "Really?" She hadn't noticed the warrior aging at all, though he had been deputy since before Mapleshine arrived in WindClan. Deputies usually aren't so lucky to make it that long - especially after all the battles in camp we've seen. "I suppose he deserves the rest."
"Indeed." Heatherstar's eyes shone. "I'll need a new deputy in his place, though. Life doesn't stop for one cat."
"Of course."
There was a pause, and Mapleshine fidgeted a little before Heatherstar continued. "Mapleshine, you've proven yourself a trustworthy and loyal cat."
Mapleshine chuckled, nervous. "I still haven't been to a gathering, since I joined WindClan."
"This is true," She murmured, voice soft. "I've been afraid of how RiverClan and ThunderClan would react, even under new leadership. Bitterness doesn't fade easily."
The warrior swallowed and nodded, remembering the last gathering she'd observed. She could still hear the angered cries, silenced only by the clouds covering the moon.
"But I think enough time has passed. Besides," Heatherstar purred, "You're one of the only other warriors I've ever spoken to in true confidence. I can trust you - WindClan can trust you. Will you be my deputy, Mapleshine?"
Her heart lurched. For a moment, Mapleshine's life flashed before her eyes, everything from her kithood to now. Are my kits watching in StarClan?
"Yes," She said after a long moment, looking Heatherstar in the eyes. "I will be honored to serve this Clan as your deputy, Heatherstar." The two purred for a moment, happy to have it settled, before Mapleshine remembered something suddenly. Barkwing! "My first act as deputy should be to tell you about Barkwing, though..."
***
The den was crowded as Palebird moaned, leaning on Mapleshine with her claws digging into the moss. Mapleshine kept herself pressed close, lapping at her head with loud purrs. Hawkheart and Barkwing were at the ready, and Mapleshine pressed a paw against Palebird's belly, just as she had during the first birth.
"You're doing great, love," She murmured, pressing her muzzle into the black-and-white molly's cheek. Palebird simply responded with another moan, and Mapleshine stifled a laugh. She'll be fine.
"First one!" Hawkheart lifted up the freed, squealing kit, passing it to Barkwing. The apprentice started to lap it clean. It was a little dilute tortie molly, and it squeaked constantly under the bombardment, struggling away from his tongue. He pressed it to Palebird's belly just in time for Hawkheart to free the second kit. This one was a little red tabby molly, livelier and noiser than the first.
"That one's just like Talltail, remember?" Mapleshine purred, keeping herself close to Palebird. "He was just as lively when Larkwing delivered him."
Palebird's eyes shone, and she smiled around her panting. "I remember," She purred, groaning as the last one struggled out of her. "She'll make an amazing warrior, just like him."
"Last one!"
The final kit broke free, and Hawkheart took care of him himself. "This one's a tom," He purred. Mapleshine craned her neck to look at him; a little orange kit, his fur shining bright as fire. Palebird slumped against her mate, panting.
"I'll get some borage to help with your milk," Barkwing told Palebird, dipping out of the den. Mapleshine purred her gratitude, leaning against the tired molly.
"Oh, what shall we name them, dearest?"
Palebird pushed herself up, summoning her strength to look at the kits with love and adoration. "I want to name her Finchkit," She murmured, her tail drifting over the red tabby. "She looks almost exactly like her."
Mapleshine nodded. Her own tail drifted over the tortie, sighing. "Let's name this one Larkkit," she purred. "After Larkwing."
"That's a lovely name."
They pressed their heads together, then set their eyes on the tom. After a moment's thought, Mapleshine purred.
"What do you think about Firekit?"
There was a pause, and Palebird flopped back, purring. "It suits him perfectly," She slurred. "He looks just like fire..."
The deputy laughed softly, snuggling up to her mate and looking to Hawkheart gratefully. "Thank you, Hawkheart."
He dipped his head and made to leave, only to stop as Barkwing re-entered; he had no herbs on him, but his eyes glittered with joy. "Talltail is back!"
The medicine cat was quick to try and shush him, but Mapleshine's fur spiked, and she made to get up; Palebird shifted with a curious murmur, and she dipped her head down again, running a few laps of her tongue over the exhausted queen. "You rest, dearest. I'll tell you everything when I get back." Palebird relaxed again, and Mapleshine stepped around her, hurrying after Hawkheart and Barkwing. In the clearing, Heatherstar stood by Talltail, looking happy to have him back, and a large hawk sat on the fresh-kill pile.
Sorrelpaw and Pigeonpaw hopped around her paws.
"Talltail saved Hoppaw!" Sorrelpaw exclaimed, looking up excitedly. "We went out of camp and looked in a rabbit hole and a hawk came by and Talltail rescued Hoppaw and killed the hawk!"
Mapleshine's mind reeled, and she barely processed the paws' disobedience. She was too focused on Talltail, too focused on rushing over and covering his head with licks.
"I didn't get to say goodbye," She choked. "You left without saying goodbye."
"I'm here now," He purred. "And I'm here to stay."
She pressed her head into his shoulder, taking a deep breath and absorbing his scent. "You'll have to tell me everything," She breathed, "but you need to meet your siblings, first."
StarClan has blessed us today!