Is this how you feel all the time?
Yep.
Oh my God. I'm so sorry.
Yeah.
"Oh, shut up," Cassandra-in-Nora's-body snapped. "It's so crowded in her head. Oh, look at me. From class to brass. Although, oh, jawline! Oh, baby, it's like living inside a Greek statue." Cassandra ran her hands all over Nora's body.
Ew. Can you stop that?
"The mistress is beautiful," Chip gushed.
Cassandra clapped like a happy seal. "Absolutement! Oh, but look." The equipment that had been keeping flat Cassandra alive had fried during the transfer.
"Oh, the brain lead expired," Chip lamented. "My old mistress is gone."
"But safe and sound in here," Cassandra chirped, tapping a finger to her temple.
Not for long. When the Doctor realizes you stole my body, he is going to be pissed.
"But what of the Nora child's mind?" Chip asked.
Cassandra scowled. "It won't shut up. It's mostly tucked away. I can just about access the surface memory. She's-Gosh, she's with Rose and the Doctor. A man. He's the Doctor. The same Doctor with a new face. That hypocrite!" Cassandra inspected Nora's body in the full-length mirror. She twisted every which way, admiring each angle. "I must get the name of his surgeon. I could do with a little work. She's hardly got anything on her chest."
Fuck you! My body is banging!
Yeah, she's hotter than you ever were.
Oh shit! Thanks for the back-up.
Of course. You're my girl.
Nora's phone started to ring. Cassandra fished it out of Nora's back pocket. "Oh, it seems to be ringing. Is it meant to ring?"
"A primitive communications device," Chip explained. Cassandra answered the call, absent-mindedly twirling a lock of hair around her finger.
The Doctor was on the other end. "Nora, where are you?"
Cassandra pulled the phone away from her mouth. "How does she speak?"
"Old Earth American," Chip whispered.
Cassandra nodded and put the phone back to her ear. "Eh, wassup!"
What the actual fuck? I do not talk like that.
"Where've you been?" the Doctor hissed. "How long does it take to get to Ward 26?"
"I'm on my way, dude," Cassandra spoke in a broken American accent. "I'll be like, right up, bro."
I don't fucking talk like that! What the fuck?
The Doctor didn't seem to notice anything was weird. "You'll never guess. I'm with the Face of Boe. Do you know who that is? Have you heard of him?"
The Face of Boe? The fuck?
He's a dear old friend. You'd love him in his heyday. If he's here, he must be...oh.
"Of course," Cassandra scoffed. "That big old...boat race."
"I'd better go," the Doctor said. "See you in a minute." He hung up. Cassandra shoved the phone back in Nora's pocket. She took to adjusting Nora's top to show the maximum of cleavage without her breasts actually falling out.
Stop fucking touching my boobs!
Chip wrung his hands. "This Doctor man is dangerous."
"Dangerous and clever," Cassandra amended. "I might need a mind like his. The Sisterhood is up to something. Remember that Old Earth saying, never trust a Nun? Never trust a Nurse. And never trust a cat. Perfume?" Chip passed Cassandra a vial of perfume. She tucked it between Nora's boobs.
Man, I wish I had the chance to murder you myself.
Be patient, Nora. You never know when an opportunity might arise.
Oh, I like the way you think.
Cassandra just ignored them and made her way up to Ward 26. Nora spent the elevator ride reciting the lyrics to Avril Lavigne's Sk8r Boi. She managed to successfully annoy all three of them. The elevator doors finally opened and Cassandra finally arrived in Ward 26. The Doctor spotted her almost immediately. He ran over and seized her arm, Rose on his heels.
"There you are," he huffed. "Come and look at this patient. Marconi's Disease. Should take years to recover. Two days. I've never seen anything like it. They've invented a cell washing cascade. It's amazing. Their medical science is way advanced. And this one. Pallidome Pancrosis. Kills you in ten minutes, and he's fine. I need to find a terminal. I've got to see how they do this. Because if they've got the best medicine in the world, then why is it such a secret?"
Cassandra nodded as he spoke. When he looked to her for an answer, she just shrugged. "I can't Adam and Eve it." The Doctor and Rose gave her strange looks. Rose was already suspicious - why were Nora's boobs pushed so high up? - but they'd spent enough time with Nora to know she doesn't talk like that. No one talks like that.
Literally, where the fuck did you learn Americans talk like that because it's wrong. Stop fucking talking like that!
"What's, what's, what's with the voice?" the Doctor questioned. He looked Cassandra up and down but didn't seem to find her adjustments to Nora's outfit out of the ordinary. If he did, he didn't react to it.
He's looking at my boobs again, isn't he?
Cassandra waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, like, I don't know. Just joshing about. New Earth, new me."
I cannot fucking wait to get you out of my body.
Oh, that's saying something, Cassandra. I've been in her body for the past 18 years and she's never been that hostile towards me.
Well, you've been pretty courteous for someone who could technically classify as a parasite.
Hey! Don't call me a parasite!
"Well, I can talk," the Doctor joked. "New New Doctor."
Cassandra bit her lip flirtatiously and purred, "Mmm, aren't you just..." She grabbed the Doctor by his jacket and pressed Nora's lips to his. She was kissing him. She was kissing the Doctor using Nora's body.
Stop that! Stop that right now! For fuck's sake, Cassandra, stop kissing him! Get my tongue out of his mouth right this instant!
Cassandra finally pulled away, panting slightly. "Terminal's this way. Phew." As she walked towards the terminal, she heard the Doctor say, "Yep, still got it."
Are you fucking kidding me? How did that not tip him off? Does he really think I would just make out with him in the middle of the hospital? Especially after what I told him about my mom? Look at Rose. Please tell me Rose got it.
Cassandra, wanting nothing more than to shut Nora up, glanced at Rose. The blonde was glaring at Cassandra, arms crossed over her chest.
Fuck yeah! That's my girl!
The Doctor took over the computer terminal in the Ward 26 waiting room by the elevator. "Nope, nothing odd. Surgery, post-op, nano-dentistry. No sign of a shop. They should have a shop."
Enough about the fucking shop! How is he more bothered by the lack of a shop than the fact that I just tongue-fucked him in a hospital ward?
This is precisely why I'm a lesbian.
"No, it's missing something else," Cassandra insisted. "When I was downstairs, those Nurse Cat Nuns were talking about Intensive Care. Where is it?"
"You're right," the Doctor complimented, sparing Cassandra a cheeky grin. "Well done."
Cassandra shook her head. "Why would they hide a whole department? It's got to be there somewhere. Search the sub-frame."
Out of the corner of her eye, Nora saw that it was finally hitting the Doctor, and then-
Did that fucker just dismiss the thought that I'm not myself? Are you fucking kidding me?
"What if the sub-frame's locked?" the Doctor asked.
"Try the installation protocol," Cassandra said casually.
"Yeah, of course," the Doctor agreed. He glanced at Rose. "Perks of traveling with a prophet. Sorry. Hold on."
Oh my fucking God. Cassandra, can you please hit him for me? Feel free to use full-force. Holy shit.
Maybe we should consider other options. I'm quickly losing trust in the Doctor.
So am I.
The Doctor used the sonic screwdriver on the interface. The entire wall behind them slid down to reveal a secret corridor. It looked to be in a similar condition to the basement Cassandra had been hiding out in.
"Intensive Care," the Doctor commented. "Certainly looks intensive."
Cassandra charged forward. She led the Doctor and Rose down a staircase. The Intensive Care unit was lined with cells, thousands of them. Nora tried to count but quickly lost track. The Doctor picked a random cell and opened it. The man inside was horribly ill.
"That's disgusting," Cassandra gasped. "What's wrong with him?"
The Doctor looked solemn. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He closed the door and moved onto the next. The next cell contained a young woman in the same condition. Nora fought a sob.
She looks like she's in so much pain. Can we help her? How do we help her?
"What disease is that?" Cassandra scrunched her nose up at the woman.
"All of them," the Doctor answered. "Every single disease in the galaxy. They've been infected with everything." Rose let out a gasp. Cassandra quickly looked over her shoulder to see Rose had tears in her eyes and her hand to her heart.
I don't know if we can, Nora.
No! We have to be able to help them!
Cassandra took a step back from the cells. "What about us? Are we safe?"
"The air's sterile," the Doctor explained. "Just don't touch them."
Rose shook her head in disbelief. "How many patients are there?"
"They're not patients." The Doctor's gaze switched back and forth between Cassandra and Rose.
"But they're sick," Rose argued. "This is a hospital. You mean no one's helping them?"
The Doctor laid a hand on Rose's shoulder. "No one. They were born sick. They're meant to be sick. They exist to be sick. Lab rats. No wonder the Sisters have got a cure for everything. They've built the ultimate research laboratory. A human farm." A sob escaped Rose. The Doctor pulled her into his side and watched Cassandra-as-Nora. Waiting.
"Why don't they just die?" Cassandra pressed.
"Plague carriers. The last to go."
A voice sounded at the other end of the hallway, "It's for the greater cause."
"Novice Hame," the Doctor acknowledged. "When you took your vows, did you agree to this?"
"The Sisterhood has sworn to help," Noice Hame reasoned.
Rose scoffed. "By killing?"
"But they're not real people." Novice Hame sounded like she was trying to convince herself as well. "They're specially grown. They have no proper existence."
"What's the turnover?" the Doctor asked. Oh, he was mad. "Thousand a day? Thousand the next? Thousand the next? How many thousands? For how many years? How many!"
Despite not having control over her body, Nora cried.
We have to end this. We have to stop them! Punch her in the face, Cassandra! This isn't right! These are people!
Novice Hame didn't agree. "Mankind needed us. They came to this planet with so many illnesses. We couldn't cope. We did try. We tried everything. We tried using clone-meat and bio-cattle, but the results were too slow, so the Sisterhood grew its own flesh. That's all they are. Flesh."
They're not just flesh! They're real! They're alive! You're hurting them! Torturing them! Sentencing them to death the second you bring them to life!
"These people are alive," the Doctor shot back.
Novice Hame smiled. "But think of those Humans out there, healthy and happy, because of us."
There has to be another way! There has to be!
What's the point of any of this? Disease will still evolve. This is pointless. It's just pointless.
"If they live because of this, then life is worthless," Rose spat.
"But who are you to decide that?" Novice Hame scoffed.
The Doctor glowered at Novice Hame. "I'm the Doctor. And if you don't like it, if you want to take it to a higher authority, then there isn't one. It stops with me."
And me! Cassandra, punch that cat bitch in the face!
Instead of punching Novice Hame in the face, Cassandra tried to suppress her smirk. "Just to confirm. None of the humans in the city actually know about this?"
Are you seriously seeing this as a business opportunity? This is life and death! This isn't a chance to make some cash!
"We thought it best not," Novice Hame said meekly. The sly way of saying 'What we're doing here is super illegal and this hospital would be shut down if anyone knew.'
"Hold on," the Doctor interjected. "I can understand the bodies. I can understand your vows. One thing I can't understand. What have you done to Nora?"
Fucking finally!
Novice Hame furrowed her brow. "I don't know what you mean."
"And I'm being very, very calm," the Doctor stated. "You want to be aware of that. Very, very calm. And the only reason I'm being so very, very calm is that the brain is a delicate thing. Whatever you've done to Nora's head, I want it reversed."
It's about fucking time!
I was really starting to worry.
Novice Hame's genuine confusion was visible. "We haven't done anything."
"I'm perfectly fine," Cassandra lied. Nora had to admire the way he kept his anger under wraps. If Nora was in control right now, she would've already broken every bone in that cat nun's body. How did he keep from snapping?
"Those people are dying and Nora would care," the Doctor insisted.
I do care! I care!
Cassandra rolled her eyes and strolled up to him. "Oh, alright, clever clogs. Smartypants. Lady-killer." She toyed with his tie, looking up at him through her eyelashes.
Nora, I just realized something.
What?
Because he's taller than you and you always wear tank tops, the Doctor can see down your shirt at all times.
Oh, that lucky bastard.
"Who are you?" the Doctor pressed.
Cassandra leaned in closer, her breath on his ear. "The last human."
His eyes widened. "Cassandra?" Rose jolted. Cassandra pulled back, a snarky smile on Nora's lips.
She grabbed the perfume from between Nora's boobs. "Wake up and smell the perfume."
Moments later, both the Doctor and Rose were out cold.
*
the whole 'the doctor can see down nora's shirt at all times' thing was not even planned it just occurred to me while i was writing this chapter and i was like "oh shit i gotta address this"
also get ready for some wild shit up ahead