The next morning I wake up earlier than my alarm as I am excited to have coffee with Connor after class. I get up and shower and wash my hair and make sure I wash my body thoroughly too.
I get dressed in my best skinny jeans and a nice t-shirt. I comb my hair after I have dried it and spray my sea salt spray that I love on it.
I am ready to walk out the door to have breakfast but first I run back in because I forgot that I had aftershave too that I bought on impulse the other day.
After breakfast my classes are slow and boring today. All I want to do is have class with Connor and then have coffee with him after wards.
When my class with Connor finally rolls around I am so nervous as I really, really like Connor and I don't want to make a mess of this coffee date. As I walk in I notice he looks even hotter today if that is possible. I wave at him and go and sit in my seat and take out my song book.
After class finally finishes I wait until everyone leaves and I slowly get up and make my way over to Connor. He looks at me as I approach and he says "you ready Tro"? I nod my head and grab his hand in mine and together we walk out and into town to the coffee shop I went to on my first day. We grab a table and I hold Connor's chair out for him then push it back in. As I do that my fingers brush his back and again I have flash backs of me doing this with someone but I still can't remember who. I have the flashback of me helping someone with their chair. It was only when my hand brushed Connor's back that I felt it.
As I sit down in my chair I can't help but think of these flash backs. I wonder if they have anything to do with my boyfriend when I had the accident as mum keeps telling me that we were soul mates. I will have wait and see.
We have coffee and talk about ourselves and Connor asks me if I had seen Jacob since I was admitted? I nod my head and say "yeah the first day I came here to get lunch after class because I had to get a few things so I thought I would have lunch but I walked in and he was cuddled up to a girl and just as I was about to walk out I saw him lean over and kiss her so I broke up with him that night and I can tell you I have never felt so much better since I had that stupid accident". Connor grabs my hand and says "I'm sorry Tro you don't deserve that and you also don't deserve your accident or the TBI you got from it". I nod my head and say "we can't change the past only try and make the future better". Connor nods his head and squeezes my hand again and he says "have you had any memories of the accident"? I shake my head and say "not of the accident no but I keep having flash backs of me doing somethings and I can't see the other persons face. It's starting to drive me insane as I really want to know who they are with. All I know is that they come at random times and I can tell I loved the person I was with". Connor nods his head and says "how have you been finding the classes and have you felt better in yourself or not"? I think for a bit and say "the classes are good but I haven't felt better yet at all although it's only the end of the first week and I have 3 more left maybe after that I will see how I feel and if I think I haven't gotten better then I will extend my stay". He nods his head and I say "what are you having"? He tells me what he wants and I get up to order his coffee and my hot chocolate and our sandwiches.
I walk back over to the table and Connor picks my hand up again and says "I am not going to lie to you but I have really started to like you as more than a friend but I want to take this slow as I still need to get over my ex – boyfriend but I would like to still get to know you and hang out with you". I nod my head and say "yeah that's fine I really like you too but I want to get my depression under control before I delve into another relationship". I pull away from him and put my hands in my lap as our food and drinks arrive. I was about to put the sugar in my hot chocolate but stop when I see Con pull his phone out and take a picture of his coffee then his sandwiches and I can't help the smile that comes to my face as I see what he does. I watch him a bit longer and again I have a flash back of someone else doing that but I still can't see a face and it is starting to annoy me as I really want to know who that person is. I brush it aside and not think about it. I want to enjoy myself and not worry about my flash backs.
I laugh as Con finishes taking the photo but instead of putting it down he keeps it in his hand and taps a bit on the screen. He looks up at me and says "hey Tro do you have Twitter"? I nod my head and give him my twitter name and before long my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see that it is a notification that Connor Franta followed me. I follow him back and then see that he posted a picture of his coffee; He captioned it with "relaxing with a long overdue coffee and my new friend". I like the tweet but as I was about to retweet it I had a notification come up about Jacob so I go and unfollow him as I want nothing to do with him.
I put the sugar in my hot chocolate and take a bite of my sandwich. We finish up in silence and I get up and grab Connor's hand so we can walk around the shops for a bit.
After about 2 hours we have to head back as Connor has a few things he has to do this afternoon. As we get back he says to me "I enjoyed today. Thank you for such a good day maybe we can do this again tomorrow night"? I nod my head and walk back to my room after we set the time that Connor would pick me up. I walk back to my room and decide that I would work some more on my song as I have 2 weeks left to get the song finished and the music done. I work for about 2 hours and then I can't do anymore as I can't think of anything else and I am starting to get my headache back. I haven't had one in over a week and it just hit me all of a sudden. I put my book back away and decide I will go and have a quick bite to eat and then lie on my bed in my room with the light off as I know that sometimes helps if it doesn't then I will get one of my strong pain relief from the nurse.
I go back and lie on my bed but after 2 hours I still can't shake it so I get up and shower then go and get a strong pain killer and go to bed. I know I won't need to get up early tomorrow as I don't have classes and they know if I get my headaches they need to leave me alone for a bit.
I wake up the next morning and I still have a bit of a headache so I decide to go and get a coffee then go back and relax on my bed until I need to think about getting ready to see Connor.
About lunch time is when I feel like it has gone and I feel stronger in my body so I get up and shower so I don't need to do that tonight.
When I get out of the shower I sit on my bed after I grab a cup of tea and try to write some more of this song until I hear a knock on the door and I look up to see a nurse and she says that I have a visitor and I ask who it is. She says to me it's a lady saying her name is Emma and she is your manager. I nod my head and get up to follow her and I see Emma standing at the front desk. I hug Emma when she sees me and she asks how I am going. I sit with Emma for a while and we just talk. I tell her about the song and I also tell her about Jacob and what happened with him. I also tell her about my headache yesterday and all of my flash backs.
After talking for about 2 hours I look and see that it is time that I got ready for my date with Connor. I hug Emma goodbye and she wishes me luck with the song and my date tonight.
I met Connor at the front desk at 6 pm and he leads me out to his car. We hop in the car and he drives to this nice restaurant that is on the water front.
We walked in and when we sat down and I looked at the menu. I saw the prices and believe me they were expensive. I grabbed Connor's hand and said "Con this is too much can we at least go halves"? He looks at me and shakes his head and says "no this is the first date I have had in years. You see when my boyfriend had his accident we were going on a date but I just couldn't get my hair right and we had an argument and he walked out. A few hours later I got the call from his mum saying that he had an accident and ever since then I have felt guilty that we argued. I keep thinking that if we hadn't of argued then he would never have had the accident. I blame myself Troye and when I met you I was able to let some of that go. To start anew if you want to put it that way". I felt tears come to my eyes as Connor finishes his story and I squeeze his hand and rub my thumb over it. I say to him "OK just this once and next time if we go somewhere like this then we will go halves. I don't feel right when I only paid for our coffees and that yesterday". He nods his head and I lean over and wipe the tears that fall from his eyes with my thumbs and I say to him "you really loved him didn't you"? He nods his head and says "yes I did, he was the first person I ever loved. When I met him and started to know him I realized that I was gay and that I loved him and wanted to be with him so I came out to him and straight away he said he loved me to". I squeeze his hand again and was about to reply when the waiter comes over and asks if we are ready to order.
After we order our meal we just sit there talking and getting to know each other better. Connor tells me that he has his friend all lined up to come and help me with the music for my song. I just need to tell him when it is just about finished. I nod my head and thank him for all the help.
The night goes fast and before I know it I'm back in the ward.