The next two days went quite fast, all the teachers were busy correcting assignments and preparing tests. Lupin was up until very late at night so he could give the students their grades by Monday. He was grumpy and tired by the last one, glad it was over but with a massive headache.
He laid on his bed and things just went down the hill from that point, he didn't have to focus on anything anymore. The headache didn't get any better and other things came along. He was overly sensitive to everything, light, sound, and scent. Everything was making him irritated so with some wand movement, he made the room darker. He stayed there for a while, wishing he could fall asleep but the nausea was getting worse. It was the most annoying thing in the world to feel sick with the scent of absolutely ordinary items like ink from his desk or the lavender soap from the bathroom. This was torture.
About one hour later he heard a knock on his door, feeling it echo painfully on his skull. He didn't want to see anyone, it felt humiliating to expose how bad he was dealing with this.
"Not a good moment," Lupin said out loud to the person standing outside
Snape was standing on the other side of the thick wooden door with a fresh potion on his left hand. Lupin didn't show up to his classroom and although Snape wasn't too confident the werewolf wanted to see him all the time, it was unlike him to disappear from three meals straight. The image of him with purple lips from the cold refused to live the Slytherin's mind, so he decided to check on him.
"It's me, Remus, let me in. I have a potion for you" Snape said loud enough to be heard
Lupin hated the idea to let Snape see him like this. He wasn't a complete mess on clothing or personal hygiene but he probably looked like was about to cry.
"Just give me a minute," he said, reluctantly leaving his bed
He washed his face and opened the door for him, having chills to see the wizard he wanted to see for the whole weekend.
"You missed our appointment," Snape remarked
"I know, sorry. I had a headache" Lupin said letting Snape in
Snape glared at him in disbelief.
"What?" Lupin asked him frowning, feeling annoyance grow within hin
"After all we talked about, you are still trying to lie? I thought we were over this" Snape said sounding upset as he left the potion on Lupin's desk, a sharp glass sound coming from the impact
"I said it out of habit, as you can clearly see, I've had better days," Lupin said in the boundary of starting to be rude to him. He could handle Snape's ironies and manners most of the times, but he didn't need drama from somebody else now
Snape noticed the tone and turned around to look at him. How strange to see the oh-polite-Remus-Lupin using all his energy not to fight with him. He looked angry and without any patience.
"That's better. I'm sorry to inform you but due to this time in the semester with too much to correct, I couldn't make a potion to help you stabilize your mood. This one is a quick fix for tension, I would recommend half of the content on your current condition" Snape said sounding a bit guilty for not showing up with something better
"It's ok Severus, I was also very busy... In fact, I don't even know how you managed to have time for this one. Thank you... Do you mind leaving me alone now? I don't want to see anyone" he answered in a sincere and less irritated way, remembering that all that wasn't really him
"Drink it while I'm here, I want to see if you react well to it"
Snape got the potion once again and handed it to the other wizard. Lupin felt a scent come from his robes as he moved closer, it bothered him a little. When he opened the bottle he almost dropped it when the scent reached his nose. He quickly gave it back to Severus and rushed to his window, deciding the bathroom was too away from him. Lupin didn't know how he managed not to vomit, maybe the wind helped. When it passed slightly, Snape was by his side without his cloak and a bucket conjured in the floor in front of them.
"No for valerian, I suppose," Snape said in a low tone behind him
"Please never use that again on anything," Lupin said almost pleading
"I agree is not the most pleasant scent, but maybe you are..."
"Too sensitive to it, yes. For two hours every scent became fucking disgusting to me, even the ones I like! Severus, I can't take this anymore, honestly"
And now he was on the verge of crying again. This was an exhausting emotional cycle all the way and once again, Snape was thinking full speed of what he could do to help. He cast a spell on his clothes and his cloak that was laying on the floor to dress it again. He felt powerless, all the potions he could think of were complex and time taking. He didn't have anything for this.
"Severus... do you have anything for nausea? Honestly, anything will do. Even tea, I mean it" Lupin said weakly as he had his head outside the window to catch more wind
Tea. Fucking genius. Madame Pomfrey probably has something for him too.
"I'll be back soon," Severus said leaving the room
Some time after Severus left, Lupin sat by his desk, his hands trembling slightly and a weird tension building up. This sickness was by far the worst one he ever had. Knowing this was a sign he would probably be sick any time soon he decided to wait for Severus in the bathroom. There, the lavender soap gave him a final punch in the stomach and he puked. When it was over he felt some tears on his eyes and allowed himself to cry for a moment. He was exhausted.
Luckily, Severus took a while to be back and by then, he was in bed feeling less nauseous and stressed. Snape didn't bother knocking this time, bringing him some things.
"Didn't want to make you wait, brought some things for you" he said observing Lupin's face
He was pale and his eyes were maybe giving him away on crying but he looked better somehow. Noticing Snape's implicit question he decided not to hide things from him.
"My stomach couldn't keep up with it anymore... but I feel better now, really" Lupin explained
"Still, have this one and then, this one. And some tea for later. I think you should eat when you feel better, haven't seen you in a while at the teacher's table" Snape said pointing to the potions he brought with him as he spoke. "Took me a while but I found this potion to lessen the scent from them. Still had a few drops"
Lupin touched his hand to make Snape look at him, the potions master seemed agitated.
"Severus... thank you, I... you already helped a lot, don't worry. I'll take them and wait for the effect" Lupin said in a calm way, flattered that Snape noticed he had been missing from the teacher's table
Lupin took the two potions, as instructed. And while they waited to see the reaction, they shared some comfortable silence. Snape was taking some notes on a small notebook he brought with him, the sound of his quill and pages being turned here and there were oddly good to hear. Meanwhile, Lupin read a book on his bed and sipped his tea during the first pages.
Snape would glance at Lupin sometimes as he read, he seemed tired, obviously, but there was something else there.
And sometimes when I'm sad or had a really rough day or week
Severus had those words on his head, maybe Lupin wanted some special care. Maybe he needed it. What was he supposed to do? Ask him? Just like that?! No freezing-to-death-in-the-woods situation to serve as an excuse? Just pure empathy and the fact he accepted his invitation to go on a date with him at the end of the week?!
"Remus... Are the potions working? Do you feel better?" Snape asked leaving the little notebook with yellowish pages on the desk
"I think they are. But I can't feel the scent of anything anymore... It's a little bit unsettling. I will be able to feel them again later, right?" he asked timidly, potions were not his best subject back in the day
"Of course, never read about a potion that would do so. But I wouldn't take that away from you permanently without warning you first" Snape reassured him, maybe he should have said this would happen
"Oh, ok then" Lupin answered simply
A brief moment of silence filled with unspoken questions between them took place. They didn't have an excuse anymore, they would have to be clear from that point on.
"Uh... Remus, I was wondering if maybe you are in need of some extra care... Like the other night" Snape said in a questioning manner, clearly insecure about it
Remus was shy as well but happy that Snape asked him. He looked embarrassed and being honest to himself, Lupin felt more comfortable to say yes this way. Snape wasn't someone who exposed himself much.
"In fact, Severus, I feel like it could do me some good. But I don't want to bother you anymore, I probably made your night far more troublesome than you expected" Lupin said touching his neck
Snape got closer and sat by his side in bed, it was all very fast and Lupin took a moment to process their sudden proximity. He wished he could feel Severus scent.
"Stop apologizing... I could have left the potion on your doorstep if I didn't want to go through with this. I knew you were struggling, I decided to knock. I can accept your gratitude, but I don't want to hear you apologizing anymore, ok?"
Remus didn't even know how to feel, he was a mess of overheating, nervousness, happiness, and sudden extra shyness since Snape had his hand over his own. His voice was so intoxicating and he had almost forgotten for a minute that Snape kinda asked him a question.
"Ok... It's just... not many people ever showed me kindness like this" Remus admitted
"Not many people inspired kindness on me" Snape also admitted touching Remus face with his other hand and leaning to speak on his ear. "So, may I touch your hair?" he whispered
"Yes, please do" Remus whispered back
Remus felt Snape's fingers start caressing him on the back of his head in a good determined pace. His touch had the right balance between softness and making enough pressure. Soon Severus felt Lupin bury his face on his shoulder, his breathing warmed the spot. Severus put his other arm around him in a soothing way and the other man put his hand on Severus' chest without even noticing.
Severus was having trouble to keep their embrace in a non-sexual way. He wanted to do more, touch him, kiss him, undress him and make him feel good. The struggle to keep his hands to himself was growing every second, especially when Remus would moan in a low tone when he touched him in a place he liked on his head. Remus changed his position and looked at Severus straight on his dark eyes. He seemed hypnotized and leaned forward slowly to meet Snape's lips when the other wizard gently interrupted his motion.
"I must admit I'm a bit old fashioned. Mind if we wait until the end of the week?" Snape whispered on his ear, touching his hair again
Lupin was somehow disoriented on his desires. Snape's voice was really seducing although he was turning him down at that moment.
"It will be a long week, but I can wait," Remus said giving him his characteristic crooked smile
Snape was more than ready to take a step forward, he wasn't hesitant on his own desires. What made him ask for some time was the undeniable fact he was insecure. He had seen Lupin's mood shift at least ten times in the last hours, what if this wasn't really him? What if he was just confused and unbalanced because of his condition? What if when he gets better he realizes that's not what he wanted and leaves him out of the blue? Snape had his fair share of unrequited feelings in life, he wasn't willing to put himself in the same situation again.
They shared another moment of comfortable silence, while Snape continued to caress him.
"I'll let you rest now. We have an entire week ahead of us. See you in the morning, at the teacher's table?" Snape whispered on Lupin's ear
"Sure, sure. Don't you wanna stay a while longer?" Lupin asked not caring to be turned down for the second time in the night
"I can't, I have to take care of some things. Have a good night" Snape answered him in a soft way
Severus was still caught on their proximity, his mouth so close to the side of Remus' face, it was too tempting not to do something about it. He couldn't resist the impulse to give him a quick kiss close to his ear, feeling a shiver spread on Remus.
Snape got up right after that and turned around before he closed the door to meet Remus' eyes. They were playful and sexual, Snape playing along, giving him a smirk filled with second intentions. Apparently, this would be a long week for them.