I held my face in one hand, leaning on my desk on my elbow. I sighed and glanced at the clock right as the bell rang, signaling the end of school. As quick as the wind, I grabbed my bag from the floor and slung it over my shoulder, pushing through the other students to get out. I shoved my way through the hall and walked up to my best friend's locker just as he set down his books inside of it and closed the locker door. He jumped as he realized I was standing so close. He just shook his head and grinned.
"What is it this time?" He asked.
"Mrs. Makenna is the fucking worst," I complained. "She can go suck a dick and fucking die in a hole."
"Ah, the math homework strikes again," he joked. I smacked the back of his head as we turned to walk down the hall together. He laughed. "I'm kidding. Do you want help?"
"No, no, I understand the material, I just hate it," I said. "God, I swear, if it weren't for my mom, I'd have dropped out in year eleven."
"But aren't you glad you didn't?" He asked.
"Shut up with your logic and let me whine at you, Brian," I said, rolling my eyes. "God, you always make points and state facts and make me see from a rational perspective."
"Something bugging you?" He asked.
"I've had a terrible day, Bri," I said, pushing open the door and holding it open for him.
"Well, I'm about to make it worse," he stated, trailing his long fingers down the railing and avoiding eye contact as we trekked down the front stairs to the courtyard.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I've found this uni," he started. I bit my lip, not liking where this was going. He stopped walking down the stairs, so I stopped a step below him. He was already much taller than me, and I felt smaller next to him than I ever had before. "I really want to go."
"Where?" I asked. My voice came out a little shaky and I saw his heart shatter in his eyes as he realized the anxiety he was giving me.
"Imperial," he said. "Right in London."
"Oh," I said simply. I turned away from him and started down the stairs again. He followed, skipping a step to say on the same level as me.
"That's it?" He asked. "You're not going to yell at me or anything?"
"Why would I yell at you, boy?" I asked, looking straight ahead and not meeting his gaze. "I'm just doing what you do, with all your stupid logic and facts and things."
"What?" He said, puzzled.
"Y'know, that thing where you're all like 'I totally understand, and while I may be upset or I don't get why or whatever, your decisions are your decisions and I have no right making those decisions for you,'" I imitated. He took me by the shoulder and stopped me once we reached the base of the stairs, turning me around to face him.
"Well, that's not like you," he said, smiling a little. "And it's a bit frightening, to be honest. You're the one gets emotional and tries to take over, not the one who tries to stay calm all the time. Are you upset?"
I bit my bottom lip and looked down at my feet.
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"Aw, love, I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a warm embrace. "I know how much you want to stay with me forever."
"I thought you said you were going to study abroad with me," I said, muffled by his shirt as I slowly returned his hug. "We were going to go to California and live by the beach and sunbathe all the time and-"
"Y/n, love, I know," he said comfortingly. "I'm sorry. Chapman just doesn't have the studies I want, and I was willing to give it a chance if I was there with my best friend, but I'm really into astrophysics, love, and that's what I want to do with myself."
"I know," I mumbled, face still buried in Brian's chest. "I just don't want to be alone."
"Aw, love, you won't be alone," he said sweetly. "I'm sorry to fuck up your already-shitty day. Let's get you home, yeah?"
I nodded and he let go of me. I sighed tiredly and made to lead him through the courtyard, but he reached down to grab my legs and swept me off my feet.
"Sweet fucking Jesus!" I cried. He laughed.
"Calm your tits," he said with a warm chuckle. "You're tired and you're sad. No walking for you today, love."
He stopped walking and gently ducked down while lifting me up so I could sit on his shoulders.
"Thanks, boy," I said, patting his hair softly.
"Hey, watch it," he teased. "Don't want to look a mess, now."
"Give it a rest, your hair's already a mess anyway," I said, mussing his wavy hair a bit. "D'you think you'll ever let it all long and curly and messy?"
"Absolutely not, love," he said flatly. "It's fine the way it is."
"Is it?" I taunted. "Is it really, boy?"
"Shut up," he grumbled.
"Oh, always so self-conscious about the hair," I said, folding my hands over each other neatly on top of his head. I gently rested my chin on my hands.
"You're going to end up bonking your chin, Y/n," he said.
"Then walk more carefully," I scolded. He gripped my legs tighter and bounced me up and down, successfully getting me to stop leaning on his head. "Hey!"
"Sorry, I had to," he said, laughing. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm... Bri, you missed the turn," I said, looking at the street sign as he kept walking in what was now the wrong direction.
"...Mm, we're not going home," he said thoughtfully.
"What? Where are you taking me, sir?" I asked.
"Just trust me, love," he said in a soothing voice.
"I don't know if I should," I stated flatly.
"Alright, then don't trust me, then," Brian said. "Either way, you're going to end up someplace nice, I promise."
"I'm a bit afraid, Brian," I said. "Sure, sometimes you have good surprises, but you also have terrible surprises. It's a hot or cold game with you, and sometimes you're really bad at playing."
"Lovely to know my best friend supports me with her whole heart," he said sarcastically. "Look, Y/n, I know what I'm doing."
"Do you?" I asked, playing with his hair again.
"Stop it with the hair!" He protested. "I'll drop you."
"Fine, sheesh," I said, taking my hands away from his hair.
"Thank you," he stressed. "We're almost there, you little devil."
"Aw, you know you love me," I teased. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Feeling any better?" He asked softly. I shrugged.
"I'm really going to miss you, Bri," I said, reaching down and patting his cheek. "But I don't want to keep you from your star stuff if that's what you really want."
"Thank you for understanding, love," he said. He walked over to a bus bench on the street and helped me get down, then held out a hand as I stepped down to the ground.
"Even if I don't want to admit it most days, I always understand," I told him. "I'm just stubborn."
"Oh, you say that like I don't already know it," he teased, sticking out his tongue.
"Oh, c'mon, I'm trying to be honest and sincere and all that sappy stuff!" I said, huffing. He chuckled.
"Sorry," he said. "I'll be serious, now."
"Yeah, sure," I said, sighing. "I think I've just taken you for granted, Bri. You're always there, and you said you'd always be there, and we were going to go to uni together, but... Astrophysics and writing just don't go together well, I guess."
"They do have writing majors at Imperial, you know," Brian said.
"I've been preparing for Chapman for years, Bri, I'm not going to drop all that for Imperial," I said. "Sure, you'll be there, but I'm not ready to change years of careful planning on a whim."
"I get it," he said, nodding. He took my hand and led me toward a thick patch of trees that we used to play in as kids just a few blocks from home. "Look up."
I looked up, seeing rainbow Christmas lights badly strung through the branches. I grinned at Brian.
"Did you really?" I asked him. He nodded.
"Yeah, I got mum to put up the lights during last period so they'd be here when we arrived," he said. "And... I told her to leave a few juice boxes. They're 'round here somewhere."
I looked around at the ground and spotted a plate neatly set on the ground near one of the trees with two juice boxes and a bag of crisps. I tapped Brian's shoulder and pointed it out.
"Your mum's the best," I said, both of us walking over and sitting down on the grass, not caring about our jeans getting grass stains or anything. "You're the best, Bri."
"I know," he said, grinning. "I'm going to miss you when you go off to uni, you little devil."
Edited 2/6/21