I am Iron Man @TonyStark
They grow up so fast. (Attached: Many of Peter's cap and gown pictures. Most of them have him posing with Tony, Pepper, Morgan, or all three.)
May Parker @everybodysaunt
I know. Seems like yesterday he was trying to climb the kitchen counters to get to the cookie jar.
Peter Parker-Stark @GodofPuppyEyes
Maaaaaaaaay. Please stop.
I'm in @GuyInTheChair
This is important. Did he get the jar?
May Parker @everybodysaunt
Yes. Eventually. That was also the day the jar broke, coincidentally.
These are their stories @DunDun
In the course of two years, Tony frickin Stark has transformed from a cocky, womanizing superhero into a suburban dad and I for one am here for it.
Stark Industries @SIOfficial
Rt
Beep boop @FRIDAY
Rt
Totally Not Nick Fury @eyepatchsupersuit
Rt
Rhodes @WarMachine
smh y'all sleeping on the fact that he's ALWAYS had that vibe.
Pepper Stark @PSSI
I, as a person who has lived with Tony Stark for 10 years, can attest.
Always Angry @Banner
He's given us a place to live that has all of our necessities.
Likes Summer more @WinterSolider
He gets a check of our metabolism so he can make sure we're eating enough.
Itsy Bitsy Killer @BlackWidow
He's made all of us weapons based off of our preferences and practicality.
Don't play poker with @ScarletB*tch
Set us up with the best therapists in the world so that way we're mentally taken care of.
Spider-Man @StickyBoi
Made 1001 protocols for when we get hurt in battle and to prevent us from getting hurt.
Yes, that's my real name @DrStrange
More than willing to sacrifice himself for us.
America's Ass @CaptainAmerica
And, in case you've forgotten about the Accords Amendments, is more than willing to fight so that we can be treated fairly.
We love Tony Stark @IronFam
Tony Stark is the Avengers' Dad and treats his kids right.
Me n the boys @3amgang
Is...is today Tony Stark Appreciation Day?
We love Tony Stark @IronFam
Every day is Tony Stark Appreciation Day.
Me n the boys @3amgang
@IronFam Sh*t u rite
Where you at @Hogwartsletter
I feel like if I ever walk past the Avengers Tower I'll see him flipping burgers on the grill while his kids are playing outside.
Where you at @Hogwartsletter
And he'd see you and invite you in for a glass of lemonade or something.
Chika Fujiwara @isBestGirl
Would he wear a 'kiss the cook' apron?
Why tho @Whynottho
No. Not because it'd be beneath him or something, but because he probably doesn't have one.
I am Iron Man @TonyStark
bold assumption (Attached: picture of Tony Stark wearing the apron with a big smile on his face.)
Spider-Man @StickyBoi
good dog
NYPD @NewYorkDept
...
FBI OPEN UP @lolisintheback
who's gonna tell him?
Sounded Funnier @Inmyhead
uhhhhh
Spider-Man's curls @whyhidethem
omg curls
Spider-Man's dog @spiderdog
omg dog
Michell @Imaketherules
@Stickyboi wrong account, doofus
Spider-Man @Stickyboi
@Imaketherules huh? What do you mean?
30 seconds later
"F*CK!", Peter shouted, making his voice heard across what seemed like most of New York. Oh, he screwed up. He screwed up bad. First thing he did was call his father. If anyone knew what to do about this, it was him. "Hey, so I might've inherited your way of making a PR nightmare. Also, hi and good morning."
[tweet w/dog pic deleted]
Spider-Man @Stickyboi
Whoops. Wrong chat. How y'all doing?
Daily Bugle NYC @OfficialDailyBugle
Identity revealed? The notorious menace Spider-Man's mismanaged Twitter account may have given his precious secret identity away. For more info, visit our website.
It don't bite @Yesitdo
@OfficialDailyBugle Nobody likes you & your clickbait articles.
Daily Bugle NYC @OfficialDailyBugle
I'm just doing my job pls no bully.
It don't bite @Yesitdo
sh*t i didn't think you was gon reply. Sorry mate.
NBC @NBCBroadcast
Queens' very own Spider-Man may have just revealed his identity publicly. He has since deleted his mistaken tweet, but speculation has already arisen. We are still awaiting a response.
2 hours later
Peter Parker-Stark @GodofPuppyEyes
So. *pulls up chair and sits so that I lean against the back.* I guess we're doing this.
(Attachment: a video, which started with the camera pointed at the floor as it moved. From behind the camera, you could hear Peter, who sounded absolutely frustrated at himself, say the words, "Mirror mirror on the wall. Who has the dumbest ass of all?"
All of a sudden, the camera stopped and zoomed out to reveal that it was actually much higher than the floor. The camera flipped to show the teen's face, which revealed that he was, in fact, done with himself and his idiocy. "It's ya boi.", he said, making a peace sign to the camera before it flipped back to show Parker-Stark in the mirror, upside down, on the ceiling wearing his suit sans mask.
"Spider-Man.")