"urgh, I want to quit school so much!" Jennie sighed as she took off her backpack in front of her mother, who was busy watching cooking shows.
"why is it that?" her mother asks turning the television off. just like always, her mother was always ready to fight for her daughter in any situation. even if that means suing the poor for their doing.
"I .. nothing" Jennie grabbed her backpack and went upstairs to her room. she knew that if she have told her mom about the students, they would probably get expelled by tomorrow morning. in that case, she kept it quiet, leaving her mother behind in worry.
setting her backpack next to the bed on the floor, she sat on her makeup vanity area and take out her diary from the very bottom-left drawers. the dairy seemed to be about a couple of years old but it was filled with emotions, stories, and secrets that only she knows. it's surprising why her mother hasn't found this dairy yet since she always cleaning her room.
because she started losing friends during her middle school year, the only way to keep her sociable was through a dairy. she jots down her thoughts and recorded her mood. on the top of each page, she wrote down the date and time, just in case the days can't be counted and time can't be ticked.
every single page was filled with memories of her and the people she came across. but there was only one page that she keeps going back to and that page was the only page that was filled with mixed emotions. the dark pen ink on that page seems to be tattooed inside of her mind.
"honey, do you want some beef bone stew or kimchi fried rice?" her mother asked, opening up her bedroom door without knocking, as she quickly and messily unfold her diary and throw it under the bed.
"mom-- anything is fine with me, I'm doing homework can't you see?" Jennie lied as she have already placed an empty notebook in front of her.
"alright, I'll call you when it's ready" closed the door behind her as she left down the glossy marble stairs.
"hm!" she nodded with a slick smile of not wanting her mother to see her personal diary. it was just too much for Jennie to share with her.
sighing, she took out the textbook from earlier to work on some of the math problems. as she did so, the paper that Ms.Park have given her earlier flicked out and landed onto the side of her clear glass desk.
grabbing the corner of the paper by the hand, she thought about it. maybe if she tutors Ms.Park she can get help from her more often and she can maybe step out of her boundaries and try something new.
after a couple of seconds of surfing the school website for the applications, she finally found it on the bottom of the web. looking onto it, she started adding information to the empty boxes of the application. her hands shifted gently onto each key letter, typing with making no mistakes at all.
coming to the end of the applications, she hesitated on clicking the submit button. re-thinking about the students who don't like her makes her not want to do it anymore.
"Jennie! the food's ready!"
she went into startled when her mother was heard walking closer to her room. not wanting her mother to see what she was doing, she accidentally clicked on the submit button before her mom comes in. holding her forehead in disbelief, she really have submitted her applications in.
"mom-- I'm hungry," she said as she close her laptop in regret and walked past her mother and down the stairs.
"that was strange" her mother mumbled before walking out of the room after Jennie.
-----
"Jennie!" Ms.Park said as the lunch bell ringed and all the students rushed out the door, leaving their classwork on their table.
Jennie looked up ahead, as she heard her name from Ms.Park. wanting to ignore any attention of the other students, she bring her head down low until the class was left empty, with only her and the teacher.
"Jennie! I saw your applications this morning!" Ms.Park came and sit at a student's desk that was in front of her and faced back towards Jennie, making her feel comfortable.
Jennie sighed in wanting to explain that it was only a mistake and that she didn't want to do it anymore.
"so why did you change your mind?" Ms.Park asked smiling straight at Jennie.
"I wanted to try it out since I don't have anything after school, I thought it'll be something new for me" she lied.
it was too late and too soon to even give up so instead of rejecting it off, she lied about it. but Ms.Park seems to be impressed by her reasoning and quickly welcomed her to the tutoring session that takes place every Thursday and Friday after school.
"well, Thursday will be your first day to meet some of the people from our class and the other twelve grader class during tutor session!" she exclaimed as Ms.Park seems to be more interested in Jennie getting in than she, herself, is.
"yes, I'm happy too" she lied again.
never felt so guilty, Jennie walked out after the permission from Ms.Park to go eat her lunch. Jennie walks down the hallways towards the cafeteria, hitting the front of her head with her palm constantly for lying twice today at the teacher.
when she enters the cafeteria, the students went quiet right away. guys stared at her as girls whisper among each other. all the mixed reactions brought the heat to her face but she was so used to it.
Jennie notices the heavy atmosphere but still manages to walk and grab her lunch tray. as always, finding the empty table to sit on, she did so. today's lunch was different from yesterday's but it tasted the same every time. how could she taste the rainbows in these school lunches when other students painted them black.
she sat still and eat her lunch as if she pretends to hear nothing but their words deeply gives her heartache. she clench her jaws as they talk behind her back. it was hurtful and mean, if their words were knives, she'll probably be covered in blood and skin cuts now.
it wasn't long until one of the pretty girls from the behind table approach her with a carton of chocolate milk. Jennie eyed to the side as she feel the presence of the girl wanting to dump the milk on her. she refused to get up or do anything back.
waiting for the next movement of the girl, Jennie suddenly hears nothing but the pitch of silence. she have no happy reasons to eat and was fed up with this hatred that she have been receiving every single week of school.
holding onto both sides of her plate, she got up. she turn around only to come in between a guy with a black hoodie holding the girl's wrist that held onto a carton of milk.
the reason why the crowd went into silence was that he was tightly grabbing onto the wrist of the girl, preventing her from pouring the milk onto Jennie. the girl's wrist turned red while his hand turned white.
Jennie couldn't recognize who he was, since he had on a black hoodie that completely covered both sides of his face. the students went quiet about it, so the only way to not get caught up in the main attention was to go back to class and she did so, as she quickly dump her unfinished food and rushed out of the cafeteria.
the pretty girl whined in terms of the tight grip on her wrist before he harshly throw it back to her face. his yanking pushed her back even though he wasn't even physically pushing her.
he glared at her and the rest of the twelve graders in how rude and nasty they were acting towards her. he scanned the room that was now full of weak eye contact before walking out of the cafeteria.
walking down the hallways, he scans the hallways for the presence of Jennie. keeping his hoodie on, he walked past an intersected hall.
"wait a minute-" Jennie asked as she have been leaning there quietly on the other hidden hallways. she was more curious about who he was than what had just happened inside the lunchroom.
he quickly fixed his hoodie on even blocking his front face now and continued walking as if he heard nothing.
"hey I said--" Jennie skipped to pull his hoodie down. she came to a surprising state as she successfully took his hoodie down.
he turned around as his hoodie went down, only to face Jennie with the reveal of his face that she probably would still remember.
Jennie's face was still in an unexpected expression as she notice the height differences and sharp facial structures of him. she remembered him but not being that captivating.
"you're ... Jeon Jungkook, right?" staring at him in the eye from side to side, she remembers him as a boy who has always bullied her in school.
always have been wondering where his about, he was now standing in front of her again, in a long moment of time. a couple of minutes went by as she was the first to lose the eye contact battle between them. she could feel her heart doing tiny little flips. although her face stayed serious, too many delighted feelings were already being rediscovered.
••• to be continued •••