#ILWTG29 Chapter 29
"Where do you want to go?" Sancho asked after we left Vito's party. My whole system was still shaking from the encounter. I didn't even see him... I didn't even see him but he still managed to shake my world.
Ganoon ko yata talaga siya kamahal.
Ganoon yata talaga ako katanga sa kanya.
"Office."
"It's already 8pm. Are you really still going to work?"
I didn't want to answer him. I didn't want to tell him how working's the only way I got to keep my mind off of Yago. How I needed to bury myself in work para lang hindi ako mauwi sa pag-iyak at sa pag-isip kung bakit niya 'yun nagawa sa akin... I felt like a loser. Ang tagal na... pero nandito pa rin ako.
Isang Rory niya lang...
Nandito na naman ako.
"Just... please?"
Sancho didn't say anything but he quietly drove me back to the office. I was ready to go out of his car but he didn't pulled over. Dumiretso siya sa parking.
"Okay lang ako," I said. Sanay naman akong mag-overtime. Kailangan kong magtrabaho para patunayan ang sarili ko. I wanted a name for myself. I needed to find something that's my own... iyong walang tulong ng iba. Para hindi rin nila kayang kunin kung sakaling iwan nila ako.
Instead, sumabay siyang maglakad sa akin papunta sa elevator. Tahimik siyang nakatayo sa tabi ko hanggang sa makarating kami sa floor namin. I quietly went to my cubicle and began to do my work. I minded my own business. It was already 11pm when I decided to get up to get myself a cup of coffee. And I saw him in his office, minding his own business.
"Is this your way of thanking me?" he asked when I placed a cup of coffee in front of him.
I shrugged. "Are you studying Jason's case?"
He nodded. "Final reading before I file it tomorrow," he said. "You wanna give it a read?" he asked and I nodded.
We stayed until 3am reading the case. He told me things about some of the cases he handled—taught me a trick or two about depositions and hearings. I didn't know he was funny. Dati kasi, si Nikolai iyong laging nagpapatawa... Sancho would just sit there, laughing with us. I didn't know he had this side. I thought he was dark and broody. Corny pala siya.
And when it was finally time to go home, hinatid niya ako sa condo ni Jax.
"Thank you," I said as he pulled over.
"No problem," he replied. "You can come in late. I'll file the appeal. I'll cover for you."
Natawa ako. "Thanks for the offer, but you saw my desk, right? I have a pile of case waiting for my attention."
He nodded. "Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow, Atty. Floresca," he said as he rolled the windows up. I stayed and watched until his car was gone from my sight.
Nang makaalis na siya, dumiretso na ako paakyat sa condo ni Jax. I would only be staying here for another two weeks dahil nakapagbayad na ako sa apartment. May mga pinapaayos lang iyong may-ari bago kami maka-lipat ni Papa. Kailangan ko pa rin kausapin iyong ambulance para sa transfer ni Papa. Konti na lang.
"Rory."
Agad kong nabitawan iyong mga hawak ko nang marinig ko ang boses niya. Agad kong naramdaman ang panginginig ng sistema ko nang maramdaman ko kung gaano siya kalapit.
"Rory."
I held my own hands, begging myself to calm down... but the mere sound of his voice was enough to send my entire system into an overdrive. I wanted to turn on the lights to see him... but I was afraid of what seeing his face would do to me...
It took me a long time to get myself not to cry with the sound of his name... I didn't want to drag myself further down... Dahil alam ko na kaya niya... Dahil alam na alam niya kung paano...
Mabilis akong tumalikod. Binuksan ko iyong pinto. I didn't care if I was walking away. I didn't need to talk to him—not anymore. He's already too late. I didn't care for an explanation anymore. Kung anuman ang meron kami, tapos na 'yun. Hanggang doon na lang 'yun. Tanggap ko na.
"Rory..."
I quickly pushed on the button, praying and hoping against all odds for the elevator to finally come... but with him standing beside me, I felt like air was leaving my body. I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I fucking hate how he could affect me like this! I should've been done with him... but he could just control me like this.
I wiped my tears before they could even fall. Mabilis akong naglakad papunta sa fire exit. I could stay still and let him get close to me.
"Rory, let's talk."
Mas binilisan ko ang pagbaba sa hagdan. I should've stayed in the office. I shouldn't have come back! Bakit siya nasa condo ni Jax? Did Jax know? Why didn't he tell me? Alam ko na best friend siya ni Yago, pero alam niya kung ano ang ginawa sa akin ng best friend niya! Sana sinabi niya sa 'kin! Sana nakaiwas ako! Hindi iyong ganito na pakiramdam ko bumalik ako sa dati... na wala akong matakbuhan... na kahit saan ako lumingon, nandoon siya... na para akong mababaliw...
But it felt like a curse.
How I missed a step.
Only this time, he tried to help me.
"No," I said, shaking my head as I felt the tears falling from my eyes. I could feel the pain from my ankle but that couldn't compare to the pain that he was making me feel again. Okay na ko... Alam ko malapit na akong maging maayos... pero nandito na naman siya... Gusto na naman akong hilahin pababa...
"Please just go..." I begged him. I wanted him to leave. Just like before. I didn't want to see him again. I didn't want him back in my life. I already stopped wishing that he'd come back for me...
"Rory—"
"It's Atty. Floresca for you, Atty. Gomez de Liaño."
I willed myself to stand up despite the pain in my ankle. I just... I really just wanted to get away from him. As far away as I possibly could.
Panay ang pagtulo ng luha ko habang pinipilit ko na makababa ng hagdan. Halos hindi ko makita ang dinadaanan ko dahil sa mga luha sa mga mata ko.
Para akong bumalik sa dati.
Pero mas masakit.
Pwede pala 'yun.
Kaya pa pala niya akong mas saktan.
"Please talk to me."
Nagpatuloy ako sa pagbaba. Ayoko siyang makita. Ayoko siyang maka-usap. Gusto ko siyang umalis sa buhay ko. Kagaya ng dati.
And then I felt him holding me.
"Don't," I said, my lips shaking. "Don't touch me.
"I just want to help."
"I don't want your help."
"Rory—"
"Atty. Floresca," I corrected him. "Please leave. I don't want you here."
"I want to explain."
Pilit akong huminga nang malalim. Mabilis kong pinunasan ang luha ko. Pilit na humanap ng lakas ng loob para harapin siya. Kasi alam ko na kailangan. Kasi alam ko na hindi siya titigil... kaya kailangan niyang marinig sa akin.
"I don't want your explanation," I said, staring into his eyes, hoping that he'd listen to my words and believe me. "I don't need your explanation."
"Rory—"
"Stop... please... tapos na tayo, 'di ba? Ikaw 'yung nang-iwan, 'di ba? Ikaw 'yung umayaw, 'di ba? Bakit bumalik ka pa? Bakit ngayon pa? Okay na ko, e... Kaya ko na..."
Sinubukan niya akong hawakan pero mabilis akong umatras.
"Kung... kung anuman 'yang sasabihin mo, ayokong marinig... Sa 'yo na 'yan... Hindi ko na kailangan 'yan. Kasi 'di naman niyan mababalik lahat nung sakit na binigay mo sa 'kin, e. Hindi naman niyan mabubura lahat nung ginawa mo... Iyong katotohanan na iniwan mo ako... ng walang pasabi... ng walang paalam... Walang makaka-bura nun. Walang salita na makakapagpalimot nun sa 'kin."
Tinignan ko siya sa mga mata.
"Hindi ko kailangan ng explanation... Tapos na tayo. Tapos na ko sa 'yo. Sana intindihin mo 'yun kagaya ng pagpilit ko sa sarili ko na intindihin ka nung iniwan mo ko."
* * *
Pinilit ko ang sarili ko na pumasok sa trabaho kahit wala akong matinong tulog. Ni hindi ko magawang umuwi sa condo ni Jax dahil sa takot na nandun pa rin siya... Wala akong mapuntahan... Ni wala akong pera pang-check-in sa hotel dahil lahat ng pera ko napunta sa down payment sa apartment.
'Matatapos din 'to,' iyon lang ang sinasabi ko sa sarili ko para hindi ako tuluyang masiraan ng bati.
"Okay ka lang, Atty?" Inna asked.
I nodded and forced a smile on my face. "Yes. Pa-check naman if pumasok ni si Atty. Cantavieja."
She gave me a malicious smile. "Nako... May namumuo na ba?"
I just looked at her. I wasn't in the mood to kid around. I just wanted to know the status of Jason's case and because he told me he'd help me with one of my tricky cases. I needed his help dahil kapag nagawa ko nang maayos iyong case, mas pagkakatiwalaan ako sa firm ng mga mas mahirap na kaso. I needed the money. I needed to establish myself para kapag nagseven na si Ellie, mas may laban na ako kay Millie...
I needed to be strong for my father and sister.
"Na-file na raw po," Inna said. "Pero... may pasa si Atty! Mukhang napa-away!"
Agad na kumunot ang noo ko. "What? Sigurado ka?"
She nodded. "Naglalagay nga ng ice nang maabutan ko— San ka pupunta, Atty?" she asked but I was already on my way to Sancho's office. And true enough, he was icing the side of his lips when I barged in.
"Did Yago do that?" I asked because he had a history of punching people.
He nodded. "Yeah," he said, pressing the ice bag over the side of his lips.
Agad akong napapikit. "Shit. I'm sorry."
"Don't. My fault. I pushed him too hard."
"Ha?"
"Told him I'm planning to ask you out."
Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "What?!"
He grinned and then cursed because it seemed like the side of his lips were cut deeply. Ibinaba niya iyong yelo at saka napa-tingin ako sa kamay niya. He looked like he threw punches himself.
"This?" he asked, showing me his fist. "Punched him for you. You're welcome."
"Why are you doing this? Don't tell me you're bored because if you really are, I have a pile of cases you can read," I told him, staring into his eyes. I didn't have time for his games. I couldn't waste years of my life again for games like this.
"What? Are you waiting for me to tell you that I have a secret crush on you for years?" tanong niya sa akin. I pressed my lips, looking at him and waiting for him to say a word. "I don't have a crush on you, Atty. Floresca. I don't date my friends' ex."
"Then why are you doing this?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. But I'll tell you once I figured out why. And as promised," he said and then slid over a folder. "Just check it again, but it's good to go."
Inabot ko iyong folder ng case na tinulungan niya ako. I held it against my chest and stared at him.
"I don't have a crush on you, Atty. Floresca. Don't overthink this. You're my friend's ex and my current workmate. That's all. And please close the door when you leave," he said, turning around his swivel chair.
Paglabas ko ng opisina ni Sancho, agad akong dumiretso kay Inna para kunin iyong pinapa-research ko sa kanya. But as usual, she's missing from her desk.
"Si Inna?" I asked Indie.
"HR."
"Bakit?"
"May bagong lawyer," Indie replied.
May bagong crush na naman yata si Inna. May crush naman siya sa lahat ng gwapong lawyer dito sa firm.
I was asking if Indie could find the research because Inna told me na tapos niya na raw iyon. I was helping Indie look into the pile of papers on Inna's desk when I heard Inna's voice.
"Here's your cubicle, Atty. Gomez de Liaño."
I felt my whole body froze.
No...
"Atty. Floresca, may bago tayong lawyer!" Inna asked, pulling me with her. She pulled me until I was face to face with him... once again.
"Atty. Floresca," Yago said, extending his hand, looking me in the eye... the man who haunted both my dreams and nightmares... He's here... "I hope we can work well together."