Dear Pen Pal,
Why won't you tell me who you are? You know who I am. It's only fair. Who cares about the rules, it's not like the teachers read these letters anyway. They're too lazy.
Anyway, yep, I'm number 16. I'm surprised you remembered. Also, it's okay that you like basketball more than socc- WHAT AM I SAYING? Soccer is superier to basketball and I can't believe someone would ever like basketball more. TAKE THAT BACK
(Don't worry I'm not actually mad at you, how can I be when your favorite number is me?) My favorite number is 21, 'cause when I'm 21 I'll be able to drink. Don't juge.
You said that you liked writing. Well, I like reading (kind of) so will you let me read something you've written? I'm curious (see, I fixed it).
Anyway, this week the teacher told me to tell you somthing about my family. We're Mexican. I mean, you probably already knew that, but you'd be surprised at what I get asked sometime. Like why do people think I would know how to skin a deer? Do actual Native American's even know how to do that? Another thing I guess, is that I have a brother.
What about you? Maybe this will help me figur out who you are ;)
P.S. Thanks for the spelling corections. See, I spelled "spelling" right.
~~~
F I V E
"Bitch, I swear, if you don't tell him I will." Isa snapped as she leaned back on the couch. She had come over a few hours ago to do homework but it turned into a bout of me complaining and worrying over Carlos.
I shot her a look. "No you won't." I said confidently.
She growled. "Okay fine, I would never do that to you. But girl, I'm so done hearing you whine about him! When have you ever been the type to get all obsessive over a guy? You're better than that! Honey, so he forgets you. Well, it was expected, wasn't it? He didn't even know who you were."
I blinked, taken aback. I guess she's right...and hey! I'm not obsessing over a guy! I just think about him a lot!
Fuck.
"But now you have a whole new opportunity to let him know the real you! Start fresh and all that. You've changed since middle school, right? What's stopping you from getting to know him? The guy already asked for your number." Isa winked at me and wiggled her eyebrows.
I groaned as I turned red. "For the bajillionth time, Isa. It wasn't like that." I leaned back against the couch, sticking my hand in a bowl of chips. Stress eating for the win.
Isa shrugged. "How do you know? It's textbook. Ask a girl for help while asking for their number. Besides, Carlos doesn't seem like the direct, player type." She batted my hand away as I reached for more chips. "Slow down, you're going to be twice as heavy after this if you keep going at that pace."
Ignoring her comment and stealing a chip anyway, I shook my head. "No, Carlos isn't a player. He's more like your friendly, sensitive boy-next-door, you know?"
Isa smirked at me. "Yeah, you wouldn't like a player." She then lifted a hand up to her mouth and coughed. "Whipped." She coughed again and I glared at her.
"Stop it." I snapped.
She pouted at me. "But you guys need to be together. Otherwise the fans will be disa-" She snapped her mouth shut and stared at me with wide eyes. "Nothing."
I rolled my eyes at her. I bet my entire life story has been converted into an art form. Literally.
Isa grew serious. "But you're gonna tell him at some point, right?"
I chewed on my lip. Was I? On one hand, the thought was terrifying. Revealing myself after all these years? What if he still didn't remember me? Worse, what if he was disappointed that it was me? Besides, even if I told him, then what? It wasn't like I could expect that everything went back to normal. Writing letters and communicating face to face were wildly different. "I don't know." I replied after a while, quietly.
She just looked at me. "It's your choice, Vael. I just want you to be happy, whether it's by letting it go or by telling him." Her eyes sparkled genuinely at me, and in that moment I couldn't imagine having a better friend.
I smiled at her. "Thanks, Isa."
She bounced up off the couch, onto her toes. "Now that that's settled, if I don't get this AP Lit homework done I'm Lit-erally going to fail." I rolled my eyes at her bad pun but stood up with her.
"Ditto."
~~~
I walked into school the next day with my head held high. I'd decided that I was going to treat Carlos just like anyone else. Don't over complicate it. It's not a big deal. I repeated in my head as I waltzed into first period and sat into my seat. Carlos hadn't shown up, thankfully. I may have convinced myself to be normal, but I was still unsure as to whether or not my illusion would hold.
I pulled out my notes and leaned back into my seat, tuning into the chatter around me.
"I was wandering the halls yesterday afternoon when I saw Mrs. Hawk and Mr. Warner in the chemistry class, 'grading papers' together if you know what I mean." A girl at my right whispered surreptitiously to her friend.
I nearly snorted aloud. No way. The thought was enough to make me laugh. They were nearly 20 years apart. Plus, Mrs. Hawks wasn't Mr. Warner's type. I'd seen the pictures on his laptop when he pretended to update the grade book. I shuddered to myself. Disgusting.
"Dude, I heard that Cherry made out with your boyfriend." A voice drawled from across the room, perhaps a bit too loud for his friends' liking.
"What the fuck man, lower your voice!" I glanced to where the noise originated from, noting Michael Terry's furious expression as he socked Jake Nolen's arm. Yikes, shoved out the closet by your bestie. I fought a smirk off my face as I continued to listen, internally barking at the murmur that rippled through the room as my fellow classmates came to learn of Michael's sexuality. "Where the hell did you hear that?" Michael hissed, almost too quiet for me to hear. Almost.
"I'm dating Amanda, remember?" Jake replied petulantly, his voice the exact same volume as before. Bonehead. I thought to myself. Even though Amanda was Cherry's best friend, there was no loyalty between them. They spilled each others' secrets left and right.
Michael scoffed, but I could see how shattered he was. Poor guy. "Whatever." He said, shoving Jake one more time before turning to face the front. My heart squeezed in empathy. He must've really liked Reese. What a jerk.
I didn't have more time to speculate on the peculiar happenings of the two jocks before the classroom door swung in and Carlos entered the room. My eyes followed him cautiously as I watched him sit down in his chair, not once glancing in my direction. Mildly confused, I continued to observe as he pulled out his notebook and a pencil. He placed both items on his desk carefully before leaning his head against his hand, his eyes darting everywhere but to me.
I furrowed my brow the slightest bit, trying to understand the situation at hand. Is he ignoring me? Why would he be ignoring me? Is it because of the way I acted yesterday? I was a slight bitch yesterday. I grimaced to myself. Damn you, self.
A thought crossed my mind and I ripped out a two sheets of my notebook paper. I bent my head down as I scribbled a few sentences on one, before folding it up, leaning back in my seat and handing it to Jeremiah.
"Pass this to Carlos, will you?" I murmured quietly.
He scrunched his nose at me, his baseball cap threatening to slip off the back of his head. "Who's that?"
I bit back a laugh. "The guy sitting behind you." Jeremiah nodded. He took the note, pausing as he held it in his hands. "Hey, can I have a piece of paper?"
I brought up the hand that held the other sheet of paper and dangled it in front of his nose.
"You rock." He drawled, before turning to slip the note to Carlos. I quickly spun around and returned to staring towards the front of the room. My heart rate quickened against my will, and I frowned at myself. Stop that! I snapped internally.
I sat anxiously for at least five minutes before letting out a frustrated sigh. There was no way that he hadn't read the note by then, which meant that he must've ignored it. Or decided that I wasn't worth his time. Or both.
I suffered through the period with an icky feeling in my gut, simply itching to question him about it. I didn't understand this boy. He was too unpredictable, and he screwed my mind up. I couldn't think clearly when I was around him. My memory flashed back to the day before, when I had stupidly said that I didn't have a phone. I'm better than this! I wailed hopelessly to myself.
Of course, I kept a neutral, focused expression the entire time. No use in showing my emotions to the entire class and Mrs. Hawk. Damn Mrs. Hawk.
As soon as the bell rang, I was out of my seat. I marched over to Carlos' desk, a small smile pasted onto my face. "Hi, Carlos." I greeted, as casually as possible.
He looked up from shoving his notes in his backpack, straight into my eyes. "What's up?" Just like that, my nerves went haywire.
"I-just seeing if you got my note." I managed to formulate a choppy sentence, mentally punching myself. Once again, common sense is boycotting my brain.
He narrowed his eyes at me just the slightest bit and I panicked. Oh my God, he hates me. Just as I was about to apologize in the messiest, most unintelligible way possible, the look disappeared and he grinned. Did I seriously think I could just be friends with him? I thought sardonically as my heartbeat decided to join my nerves in their four hundred meter sprint.
"I don't like passing notes in class." He explained, laughing when my jaw went slack.
I stood there, dumbstruck. It took me a good minute to gather my wits. "Did you just quote me?" Number of dumb sentences spoken in a short period of time, new record.
He tilted his head at me in mock confusion. "When did I do that?" He inquired teasingly. I narrowed my eyes at him without responding, not trusting my vocal cords to spew out anything that wasn't spectacularly idiotic.
His smile faded to a smaller one as he finally said, "Soccer tryouts were great. Thanks for asking."