A/N: 20.04.19
I got so hangry that I decided to finish editing this chapter to distract myself, so here you go. Thank my mood for this early update (I was planning on posting it tomorrow).
But my food is still in the oven, someone please help me.
Enjoy this chapter and please leave a vote to support your hungry author 😭🆙️
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It was Saturday and I was in my room, studying as I usual. My mom knocked on the door and came in, looking over my shoulder to make sure that I had a book in front of me and not my phone.
"Hey sweety," she chirped. "Don't overwork yourself, okay?"
But I knew that seeing me study made her happy so I forced a small smile.
"Yeah," I murmured.
Mom told me that she and dad had to go work and that dinner was in the fridge, giving me a kiss on the head before leaving. As soon as she closed the door, my smile vanished and I hunched my back, resting my cheek against my notebook.
"Don't you ever get tired of being good?"
"I do," I murmured to myself, answering the question that Killian asked but that I never answered. I looked at my hand and frowned as I curled and uncurled my fingers, feeling like something was missing. The memory of holding Killian's hand suddenly popped up in my mind and I felt a genuine smile grow on my face as I remembered how rough but warm they felt.
I immediately straightened my back and shook my head.
Wait, what am I doing?! Eshe specifically told me not to fall for him!
I slapped my hands against my cheeks and took in a deep breath, trying to think of something other than Killian, but his wide smile and perfect set of teeth kept appearing in my head. So I took out my laptop and started to type into the search bar: Ways to get forget your crush.
I clicked the first website which was "wikihow" and raised my glasses up the nose of my bridge, leaning towards the screen as I started to carefully read some of the methods it offered.
1. Let your emotions out. If you want to forget your crush, then the first thing you have to do is to admit that you have strong feelings for this person. If you're in denial about how much your crush means to you, then you'll just keep all of those intense feelings inside instead of letting them go.
I leaned over and grabbed Kiwi, sitting him on my desk and putting my hands on his fluffy cheeks.
I took in a deep breath. "I like Killian," I blurted aloud. I blinked a few times, feeling the heat slowly rise up my neck. Even if I was alone, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed and quickly sat Kiwi back on my bed, facing him towards the wall so that he wouldn't see my red face.
Okay, what's next?
2. Forget your anger and bitterness. You may have many reasons for feeling angry or bitter.
It was true that I've been feeling rather bitter deep down, maybe because I was always getting jealous, but it was something that I couldn't control, so I decided to skip this step.
3. Focus on your crush's worst qualities. Stop thinking about how good-looking, funny, or sweet your crush is whenever they pop in your mind. Instead, focus on all of the bad parts about your crush, from their weird fashion sense or their ability to be mean to perfect strangers.
I grabbed a blank piece of paper and pen and decided to make a list, writing down whatever came to mind.
-honest
-straightforward
-kind
-mysterious
-handsome
-great smile
-pistachio eyes
-smells nice
I paused.
-big, warm hands
Once I finished, I took a second to read what I wrote but frowned.
No, no, this isn't right.
I scrunched up the piece or paper and threw it over my shoulder in frustration. A few seconds later, I quickly stood and picked it up, carefully putting it into the trashcan before sitting back down and grabbing another piece of paper to make a new list.
-ditches class
-irrresponsible
-swears
-likes to tease
-flirts with everyone
I stared at the list but despite his "flaws", none of them made me dislike him any less.
"None of this is working," I moaned miserably.
No, don't give up Carter. There has to be another way.
So I decided to look up: How to get your mind off of things - and clicked the first website.
Exercise. Getting just 30 minutes a day of healthy exercise will help relax your body.
I wasn't a really big fan of exercising or doing anything that required physical effort, but after nibbling the back of my pen and debating on what I should do, I finally decided to go for a jog. I changed into a baggy shirt which I carefully tucked into my shorts, slapping on a neon yellow headband around my head. I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a satisfied nod.
"I look good," I beamed proudly, putting my hands on my hips and feeling pretty cool. I decided to stretch but winced as I heard a bone crack.
That doesn't sound right.
After warming up, I grabbed my phone and put my earphones on, heading out. I slowly started to run and it felt refreshing at first, but about 5 minutes later, I was already wheezing like a walrus. I gave up, plopping on some grass as I stared at the bright blue sky above, which reminded me of that night Killian and I stared at the stars while walking back home.
"No, no, no," I moaned, putting my hands over my eyes. "This isn't supposed to happen."
I rolled to my side, hugging my knees against my chest as I poked a strand of grass with a frown.
Maybe I should just avoid him for a bit. It's not like he comes to school that often, so it shouldn't be that hard, right? Besides, next week was our last week of detention together and we both only had two dares left.
But the thought of not being able to be around him upset me. Would things really change after our bet ends? Will Killian and I go back to being strangers?
I sat up, shaking my head.
I needed to get rid of my feelings before this got any worse. Eshe was right, falling for him was only going to get me hurt.
"Yeah, I'll just avoid him," I said with a determined nod.
My phone suddenly started to ring and I furrowed my brows, looking towards the screen.
It was Killian.
I groaned, lying on my back and kicking my feet in frustration.
Okay Carter, just pick up and tell him to not call you any more, it's not that hard.
And so I answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey Jones," greeted Killian, his voice making my heart melt within seconds. Okay, this was going to be harder than I thought. There was a small pause. "Why are you out of breath? Oh my, am I interrupting you?"
My eyes widened and I felt my face turn bright red. Why did everyone assume that I was doing something sexual?!
"N-N-No!" I quickly blurted. "I just finished a long jog," I said, looking to the side. "Long" was an overstatement, I could literally still see my house from here.
I cleared my voice and tried to speak in a serious and stern voice. "Anyway Killian, I would prefer it if you didn't call me anymore. I told you that I'm not allowed to answer unless it's for something important."
"But I am important to you, aren't I?" He asked slyly, amusement tainting his tone. I took in a sharp breath and looked down at my chest with narrowed eyes, poking it with my index.
No heart, don't you dare!
"What do you want Killian?" I asked in a strained voice.
"I've been thinking about your third dare," he said. "Have you ever been to a party before?"
"Of course I have-"
"When I say party, I don't mean a birthday party that you threw back when you were in kindergarten," he precised.
"Then of course I haven't," I snorted. "Do you know how dangerous teenage parties are?"
"Dangerous?"
"Yeah," I said. "Aren't there are always alchohol and drugs?"
"Not always, but most of the time, yeah."
"Well, I have better things to do than do illegal things and spend time with people who I'll probably never see or talk to again," I said. Besides, loud and crowded places always made me feel anxious, but I was scared that I wouldn't sound authoritative enough if I said that.
"Better things? Like study for our science test and read a book by Charles Dickens?" He smirked.
How dare he? "He is a great writer thank you very much," I huffed.
"You're 17 and you live like a 22 year-old law student who drowns himself in books and his studies," he groaned. "Come on Jones, the party will be fun. You'll get to meet new faces and makes new friends! But I can't guarantee that there'll be good music."
I pursed my lips. It was true that I always wanted to go to a party, just to see what it would be like. But more than that, I just wanted to see Killian and spend some more time with him.
"Will I have to drink alcohol?" I asked in a small voice.
"'Course not!" he said as if it was the most ridiculous assumption he's heard. "Jones, I'm not inviting you to the party to get wasted, I'm inviting you so that you can have some fun. You don't need to drink just 'cause the others are."
I felt a small smile grow on my lips at how protective he sounded and then scolded myself for actually being happy about it. "You'll be there, right?"
"Of course dummy, I'm the one taking you," he chuckled.
"Alright, I'll go," I murmured.
I can just stop by and see what it's like and come back home before curfew. My parents came home late today, so they won't have to know.
Wait, was I actually going to sneak out of the house and go to a party without their permission? Eshe was right, who am I?!
"Perfect," he beamed. "Oh, but you should wear something nice tonight."
My jaw dropped open. "Are you implying that I don't dress well?" I scoffed.
He paused. "You dress like my grandpa."
"What's wrong with that?" I frowned. "Grandpas are hip."
"The fact that you just said hip makes it worse."
"If you think that I'm going to wear a Nike sweater, ripped black, skinny jeans and a pair of Timberlands, then the door is over there," I huffed. Even though he couldn't see, I pointed at the tree beside me which obviously wasn't a door, but doors were made out of wood, so it was close enough.
"We'll find something in my closet if you want," he said. My brows slowly furrowed.
"What do you mean, your closet?"
"Come over to my house and I'll help you get ready. Here, I'll text you my address," but before I could protest he hung up. A few seconds later, I received a text from him and stared at the street and house number that he sent.
I stared at my phone before lying back down.
Maybe this was going to be harder than I thought.
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A/N:
Can we just talk about how precious Carter is? Our little teapot with his neon yellow headband ugh someone protect dis boi 😭👌👌