"Ashton, wake up, Hun." Mom shakes me for the millionth time.
Begrudgingly I open my eyes. "Is it six?"
"No, it's nine. You wouldn't get up earlier, so I figured you could use the rest."
"What?" I jump out of bed. I missed first period, meaning I missed Scarlett. I never sleep in.
"It's okay, I dropped Ronnie off for you. Just get ready and head in, I have a meeting to get to." She hugs me before running out the door.
Grabbing my phone, I head to my closet, a video from Sage momentarily distracting me from running late. After throwing on clothes and rushing out the door, I make it to school halfway through second period, Sage and James waiting on me.
"Wow, I thought you were gonna skip." James admits, tossing me a basketball.
Yeah, that won't be happening unless I want my mother to kill me. "Nope, how's life as a free man?"
James smiles but before he can say anything Sage cuts him off. "Uneventful, he still hasn't spoken to Stella in person. He went with me to their lockers and they just stared at each other like a pair of idiots."
He blushes, "Not true, we said hi." We give him an incredulous look. "It's different talking in person than over Snapchat ok."
Man what I would've given to see that exchange. How someone spends so much effort liking someone just to be a complete disaster is a mystery to me.
"Did you see my video?" Sage asks with a goofy grin. Sometimes he acts like he's 30 other days it's three, the balance is refreshing.
"Yeah." A thought pops into my mind. "Why exactly are you talking to me if your sister's mad at me?"
He obviously knows, the Rhodes siblings practically tell each other everything. Sage shrugs, "I understand, everyone gets jealous every once in a while."
Coach blows the whistle to go get dressed but I can't move. "I'm sorry, come again?"
He puts the basketball up, "Jealousy. The feeling of envying another or in this case, protective of what you want."
"Yeah, I know the definition but why would you use it?" I demand, unable to process his words.
James and Sage share a look, "Umm, because you are."
"Don't worry. Scarlett doesn't realize it so you can just brush it off as anything." Sage adds.
I stop walking, "No, I'm not. I have no reason to be jealous."
I've never been jealous. I don't get jealous. Especially over a girl. Scarlett and I are friends, nothing more, nothing less.
"Dude, no offense but you spent all of last night pouting because Scarlett hugged me, and you know I like Stella." James points out.
"No, I didn't." They have amused looks on their faces, annoying me beyond words. I was just in a mood, that's all. The move and football and my exhaustion all decided to hit me at once and I took it out on Scarlett. It was a minor episode of sensory overload. "I'll prove it to you. I'm not jealous, you're just stupid."
I've never heard something that idiotic in my life. Do they know how many girls I've messed with before without a second thought? It was only yesterday I made it blatantly clear I don't do girlfriends; they need their hearing checked.
Walking to third period I can't help but laugh, what a bunch of idiots. I expect to find Scarlett in her desk but instead she's talking to a Zev by the pencil sharpener. Time to apologize, I have it all thought out but then I hear her laugh.
The whimsical sound reaching my ears as I take my seat, maybe she's laughing at something on her phone. Looking over at her it's confirmed that she's laughing at something Zev said, thanking him for a pencil.
It's fine, completely fine. My pencil snaps, the shards stabbing my hand, I didn't even realize I was squeezing it.
Scarlett sits down, not bothering to acknowledge me. I did ignore her yesterday. Our lecture begins and I watch her out of the corner of my eye. Her bangs are braided back into a bun. One thing I've learned about Scarlett is that she doesn't have a specific style, it varies based off her mood. Today she's wearing ripped boyfriend jeans and a cut vintage band shirt, a black flannel tied around her waist.
She's angry. She also looks hot. I stab myself with the broken pencil, what the hell is wrong with me?
The bell rings and Scarlett jumps from her chair, lavender surrounding me as she leaves. My phone buzzes.
James
Sure you're not jealous?
What the actual fuck, is he stalking me? I glance around the room, Zev waving before he ducks out of the room. They played me. I don't know if I should be angry or impressed by their determination.
Ash
I'm positive...
I'll prove it to them.
My brain works in overdrive all of fourth period, between watching Scarlett and trying to prove my point I can barely focus. I come up with a plan just as she finishes her work.
I'll just get with someone. Prove my point and then be done with it.
Before I can pick a person, I notice she's pulled out a blank piece of paper. Initially I hope for a game of tic tac toe, but instead she begins to sketch. I can see the outline of two bodies, a light post in the background. The two bodies become a guy and a girl. The guy looking angry as the girl seems upset.
It doesn't take long for me to pick up that she's drawing us. That stings more than I care to admit. My apology is on the tip of my tongue, but it falls short. I need to finish my plan first.
*****
My plan isn't as successful as I hoped it would be.
I'm still scrolling through Instagram pictures, unable to find anyone who interests me. One's too tall. Another's too short. A girl's teeth are too crooked while her friends are too white.
I've never had this problem before, but I've become picky. Maybe back home my problem was being too familiar with everyone, eventually I stopped caring about preferences.
The bell rings, dismissing us from anatomy and momentarily ending my useless hunt.
Walking to lunch is weird. I'm still with Scarlett, taking our normal path that will end with us in our normal seats right next to each other, but there's no talking. It's nice to have a routine, maybe I should just forget about the whole plan and apologize now.
I'm about to say the two words that I know will make everything better, but I stop myself. There's a point I have to prove first.
Stella and James walk into the cafe, smiling as they talk but while Stella heads our way James moves towards his own table. No, this is not what we talked about. Last night we worked out a whole plan, today he sits with us and makes his move.
What a whimp.
"I don't know guys, maybe he isn't that into me." Stella offers with a defeated sigh.
I literally can't watch this train wreck any longer. "Don't worry about it, Stella, the boy likes you."
Way too much to be considered healthy, especially after the relationship he just got out of.
She looks at me with hopeful eyes, "Really, how do you know that?"
Something hits my foot and at first I think it's Scarlett, but Sage is shaking his head furiously. Whose legs have that far of range? Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth, I'm sure James will kill me later, but this has to stop. "You're literally all he talks about. When we're getting ready for practice. Before games. During gym."
All the damn time, I know way too much about Stella.
The girls stare at Sage, who shifts uncomfortably, and I don't blame him. The receiving end of those glares are enough to end a life. "It's true." He uses finger quotations. "'Stella didn't wear black today.' ' Never mind she's wearing a choker.' 'Did you see Stella cheering Friday night? She was awesome!' Blah blah blah."
That's the condensed version of a conversation. If I played a drinking game of every time, she was mentioned even I wouldn't last more than thirty minutes.
He lets out an agitated grunt, switching back to his normal voice. "Do you know how annoying it gets? I've been friends with you since I was seven. I don't need a play by play of your day or to hear how amazing you are."
That's a long ass time to be friends. I don't talk to anyone I knew ten years ago, or even one year ago.
The typical fury reforms on her face as she punches Sage in the arm, "And you didn't think to tell me earlier!"
Sage glares at me, I deserve that. "Well normally we keep these conversations private. It's bro code."
Bro code has definitely been violated at this table, but it's for the greater good, my dude.
Stella punches him again. "Best friends trump the bro code, you idiot."
For once, I'd like to agree with the scary lady.
Ella slaps Sage, who's opening his mouth, before speaking. "So why hasn't he done anything about it?"
I snort, humored that they even have to ask. "No offense Stella but you're kinda scary. You wear black and you tend to yell. A lot. He's afraid you'd say no."
"What!" My point exactly. "I would never say no. I mean have you seen him?"
Involuntarily my mind flashes back to Monday afternoon, my eyes falling on Scarlet. "I'm sure we all can agree that he's good looking."
She glares at me, well that's going to make apologizing even harder. Sometimes Ashton it's better to keep my mouth shut, I'm not even bothered by the stupid hug so stop thinking about it.
"What should I do?" Stella asks, sounding completely broken.
Anything besides nothing would be perfect right about now.
"Wait. " Ella shrugs, "See if he works up the courage to ask you."
Hi, yes, Ella, my gal. It's been four days of this awkward limbo of communication. I don't know what bus station you're at, but this grey hound won't be taking off any time soon unless someone fuels it up.
"No, Stella, you should ask him. Give the boy a push in the right direction." Scarlett says with a wink, finally adding input.
What the hell does she know about pushing people in the right direction?
The entire table gawks, "What?" She questions.
There's an awkward mumble of replies, none of us sure of how to respond to that. The recluse of the group suggested a direct approach, it doesn't get any more ironic than that.
"Yeah, you're right." Stella agrees, taking us all by surprise as she stands up and walks to his table.
Shit just got very real.
"No, not right now!" Scarlett cries and I glance over to find her covering her eyes.
Oh no, this is either going to crash and burn or be smooth sailing, either way she's the one who encouraged it. Without thinking twice, I pull her hands down, ignoring the dirty look she gives me. I'll take my punch gladly; she won't want to miss this.
I almost let go, shocked by how cold her hands are. There's no way she survives the day as a human icicle.
James almost spits his soda out as she taps his shoulder, smooth dude. Quickly recovering, he smiles as they talk. For a second I'm distracted by the kid sitting next to him, the same one from history class, who has a wide grin on his face. He looks over at Sage and gives a thumbs up, don't tell me they're friends.
I focus back on James as he stands up with his food. After a pause Stella grabs his hand and practically drags him to our table. I don't consider myself to be a petty person, but the look of pure rage on Avery's face is more than enough to make me smile.
Take that you wicked witch.
"Hey, guys, do you mind if I sit with you?" James asks, motioning to the empty seat next to Stella's spot.
No, you idiot, sit down.
It's not until James smirks that I realize I'm still holding Scarlett's hand, letting go I flip him off. I did her a favor, that show was worth watching.
Scarlett and I glare at each other, at least now she's acknowledging the fact that I exist.
James leans over to Stella, pointing at us. "Are they always like this?"
She rolls her eyes, "No, they're just fighting."
"We're not fighting." We protest, just stuck in a no talking period.
Scarlett picks up her sketchbook, busying herself as we eat. Getting curious I try to sneak a peek; I've always wondered what she could do. She notices, turning her back in my direction.
That takes getting the cold shoulder to a whole new level, I guess.
Sage coughs, the silence getting to him. I don't think he can go more than five minutes without talking. "So about the game?"
*****
"Any luck?" James asks, plopping down in the booth across from me.
Sighing, I throw my phone down on the sticky table. I agreed to dinner so we could talk, and so I wouldn't have to eat mom's food, but I feel bad. I need to make up for not hanging out with Sage on Monday. "None, whatsoever."
I've considered every girl in our high school, even some from the public school, but nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.
He begins to eat his fries, an arrogant smile on his face. Sorry we all can't be as wonderful as you mister boyfriend of the month. "What about Avery?"
I spit out my Dr. Pepper, "I'm sorry, as in the Avery you just broke up with?" I'm beginning to think the people here are a special kind of crazy.
Apparently my friend finds nothing wrong with it. "Yeah, I mean let's be honest. While she may be a bitch, she's hot, single and definitely willing to do pretty much anything if it means being associated with you."
Some sick part of me beings to toy with the idea but I shut it down. "Nah man, I couldn't do that."
"And why not?" James pushes, like he's proving a point.
"Because, Scarlett is my friend and Avery is hell bent on ruining her life." I've done a lot of messed up things in my life but that's cruel. There are frenemies, then there's enemies. Whatever Scarlett and Avery have is a whole new level of hatred.
That would be crossing a line even I would be uncomfortable with. James smiles triumphantly, biting into his burger.
"Okay, Smartass, why did Stella have to make the first move?"
He's quiet for a minute, avoiding my stare. Yeah, that's what I thought. "I was worried it'd ruin whatever game we've played."
"What?" I ask, completely confused.
""Everything is so easy on the phone or in hurried conversations, but we finally have nothing to worry about. Now it's real." He looks at me with serious eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I like her a lot. I have for a while, but the change scares me."
Honestly, I understand him. It's difficult to not know how things are gonna work out. My whole life has been one evolving shit show. "It's hard to be vulnerable."
James smiles smugly, "Now you admit it."
I glare at him, I'm not afraid to admit anything. "Did you just fake that entire kindhearted speech just for me to say that?" Because that would be completely fucked up.
"No, I'm serious about that part, but I couldn't pass the opportunity up." He laughs and I can't help but join in.
I eat, my arms protesting as they bring food to my mouth. Practice was terrible today.
"What's the big deal with admitting your feelings?" James asks.
Are we still on this? "I have nothing to admit."
"Just admit you like Scarlett, this is getting stupid." He cries.
My eyes roll, maybe Stella should reconsider their relationship. "She is my friend. I assume you know what that word means."
He eats his food and I'm beginning to worry that he actually doesn't when he clears his throat, "You talked all this game about being able to hook up with whoever you want, but you've been given multiple opportunities and you haven't. And I've seen you work; I know it's not a lie so here's a deal." I motion for him to continue. "If you can give me an honest, non-Scarlett related reason then I will leave you alone."
That's fair enough, taking a swig of soda I try to find a reason. My brain tries to give me an answer but the only thing I can focus on is Scarlett. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. "Shut the hell up, you don't know what you're talking about."
This whole conversation is throwing me off, I don't need a reason. I know how I feel, and I don't like her.
He laughs, "Let me know when you've finally come to your senses."
*****
Hey everyone, lots of updates this week but I've just been so excited to share.
My senior proms tomorrow and we're less than a month away from graduation, which is absurd.
But I hope you like this chapter!
XO-Mo