LILY wasn't at the infirmary when Ada awoke.
She was, instead, at Arlo's house.
It was the morning after the attack, and Arianna had brought Lily over to Arlo's house. They hadn't seen each other all night—Lily had spent it in the infirmary, until the nurses told all of them to leave.
She'd met Arianna by the Matawa River, and then they'd gone to Arlo's large house. They were sitting on the chairs in front of the fireplace, Lily sipping from a mug of cold milk.
"So, you really never realized they were attacking?"
"No, we went all the way to the river, and when we came back—" Arianna's voice broke off as she stared at the floor, her tanned skin looking pale.
"We saw the bodies," Arlo said, wrapping an arm around Arianna's shoulders. "Thanks to you, there were many less than there could have been," he said.
Lily exhaled, shaking her head slightly. "It was just luck."
"Still, thank you. You saved everyone," Arlo repeated, giving her a grateful look.
Lily shifted in her seat. "Anyone would have done it. And this is my home, too. I wouldn't let it be destroyed."
"And we are very glad to hear that," Arianna said, a small smile coming to her lips. "I'm just happy it wasn't worse than it was."
Lily nodded. "We were lucky...but what if we're not lucky the next time?"
The question hung over them, and Lily wanted to take it back the moment she'd said it. They should have been celebrating their marriage, not mourning.
"We'll be prepared. Increased patrols, mandatory training for everyone," Arlo said, looking determined.
"We'll need to be prepared," Lily sighed, thinking of all the damage done and how much worse it could get.
"We will be. The Gongjensu won't know what hit them," Arianna said, her lips pursing in that familiar, strong look Lily had seen so many times.
"Lily! Arianna! Arlo!"
The three of them looked up to see Vena running in, hair a mess and cheeks flushed.
"What's wrong?" Lily asked, setting her cup aside.
"Ada's awake!" Vena cried, eyes bright.
Lily shot up, scrambling at the door, Arlo and Arianna right behind her. "She's awake?"
"Come!" Vena said.
Lily glanced at Arianna, who was limping forward faster than she'd seen before. Arianna waved at her. "Go! I'll catch up!"
Lily nodded before sprinting ahead with Vena, quickly reaching they infirmary. They rushed in, and Lily spotted Ada immediately, Iressa and Venix at her side. As well as a tall boy—her brother.
"Ada!" Lily breathed, running over.
Ada looked pale and tired, but alive. Very much alive.
"Hi, Lily," Ada said, giving her a strained smile.
"How are you feeling?" Lily asked, eyes dropping to Ada's midsection, hidden beneath a blanket.
"Tired. I should get better soon, though," Ada said, sighing. "Have—Have you met Brennon yet?" She asked, voice soft.
"No." Venix shook his head, eyes clouding over.
"Will we?" Lily asked, gazing at the others. Did they want to see Brennon? To ask why he'd betrayed them?
"Maybe," Iressa murmured, voice as empty as it had been before. Lily exchanged a worried glance with Venix.
"I need to," Venix said, shaking his head. "I just need to know why he would do that."
"You know why," Vena said, voice harsh. "I'm not seeing him. Ever."
"I will," Ada said.
"But later," Venix said, his forehead lining with wrinkles. "Arlo and the Colonel have to decide what to do with him."
"They won't execute him, will they?" Ada asked, her eyebrows coming together.
"Why does it matter? He stabbed you," Iressa said, folding her arms. But Lily could hear her voice wavering despite the sharp tone.
"I agree," Ada's brother said, his voice deep and angry.
"It matters," Ada said gently, "We can't just stop caring for him immediately. He's done unforgivable things—but he's still our friend."
"Some friend," Iressa murmured, looking away when Ada gave her a look.
"But, really, what will we do? There could be more traitors," Lily said, guilt coiling in her stomach. She was supposed to be a spy, was supposed to catch traitors—but she hadn't realized that her own friend was one.
She exchanged a look with Venix, who pressed his lips together. "We'll do whatever it takes to stay safe. To stay alive," he said, shoulders caving in. "What else can we do?"
"It's getting dangerous," Vena said, her expression mirroring her brother's, "The Gongjensu came so close to wiping out so many of us. The settlement could have been destroyed."
"Ada!"
Lily turned to see Arianna limping in, Arlo right beside her, both looking elated to see Ada awake.
Ada smiled at them. "Good morning."
"I'm so relieved," Arianna sighed, squeezing Ada's shoulders.
"Probably not more than I am," Ada said, a wry grin appearing on her face.
"How are you feeling?" Arlo asked, his face concerned. He looked older than Lily had seen before, face wrinkled and eyes tired. The attack had done that to him.
"I'm fine," Ada said patiently, "How are you two?"
"Alright," Arianna said. "How soon will you be out?" She glanced around the infirmary warily, as if afraid of it.
"I'll be out soon—but I don't know when I can fight again," Ada answered, shutting her eyes momentarily.
"Excuse me?"
They turned to see a nurse walking up to them, smiling gently. "Are you all soldiers?" They nodded. "I believe Colonel Ulima has called for a meeting in the training fields."
"Oh, yes," Arlo said, nodding. "I just talked to her. She'll give you information on patrolling."
The nurse blushed, like she'd just realized Arlo was there. "I'm afraid you'll have to leave."
"Anna, will you wait here?" Arlo asked.
Arianna nodded. "That goes without saying."
"Come on," Arlo said. They followed him outside, to the training fields. He joined the Colonel in front of everyone while they stood at the back of the group of soldiers. Ada's brother went to join his own friends.
Colonel Ulima began immediately. "Due to the attack last night, we are increasing patrols around the forest. Find your batch and wait in line. We will give you your patrols."
Lily's batch was already together. Except for Brennon and Ada. It seemed pitifully hollow with just the four of them.
The line shuffled forward slowly, with the Colonel giving each batch their timing and locations, until it was their turn.
The Colonel pursed her lips, looking at all of them. "Only four of you?"
"Ada's wounded," Vena said. She didn't mention Brennon.
The Colonel nodded. "Very well, then. You will be patrolling along a section of the Matawa, after your dinner until the next patrol comes along. Since Ada will not come, we'll replace her with Edra Karnem."
Lily exchanged a look with Venix. "But she's not a soldier," he said.
The Colonel raised an eyebrow. "Are you questioning my decision?"
"No," Venix murmured, stepping back.
"Good. Now, go. Training will begin again tomorrow. The funerals will be held today, all of you need to be there," the Colonel said.
Lily pursed her lips, nodding. Colonel Ulima dismissed them, and they walked away to the edge of the field.
"Is there something we have to wear for the funeral?" Lily asked. In Tsuchengko, they wore gray—the color of storm skies and glassy sea, to mourn.
"Any dark color will do," Vena said. Lily nodded.
"I'm going to go home. I'll see you in a while," Iressa said. She turned and walked away.
"Do you think she's going to be okay?" Vena asked, her eyes following Iressa.
"Iri's strong. It'll take time, but she'll be fine," Venix said gently. "I think we should leave, too."
Lily nodded and they walked away. She sighed and turned, making her way through the trees. Not in any particular direction—just away.
She leaned on a tree at some distance from the training fields. She couldn't hear anyone anymore.
Everything was so confusing now—the whole settlement had been endangered because of the Gongjensu. The threat was real now. They could attack again so easily.
"Lily."
She opened her eyes to see Edra Karnem leaning on a tree in front of her.
"That's your name, right?"
Lily nodded quickly, straightening. How long had Edra been there?
"I thought it was Jade."
"What?" Lily gasped, swallowing. How did Edra know?
"Your name was Jade."
Lily took in a deep breath, pulling her shoulders back. "I'm Jade-Lily." She felt the name weighing on her again. It had been a long time since someone had called her that. It reminded her of Tsuchengko.
"I know," Edra said, hands in her pockets, "I saw you."
Lily tilted her head to the side. Of course Edra had seen her.
"In Tsuchengko," Edra clarified, pursing her lips.
"How?" Jade asked. She didn't remember Edra.
"I visited Tsuchengko once, to discuss strategies. Your husband was there, too. I only saw you in passing, when he got into a carriage. You were inside."
Lily thought as hard as she could, finally shaking her head. "I don't remember."
Edra shrugged. "You probably didn't see me. I remembered you, though. I wondered how you could be content as just a showpiece for your husband, while he did so much."
Lily pressed her lips together. "I was not a showpiece. I was his wife. You may not realize it, but I managed most of Hosun's work."
Edra sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I know you were important as well, but that's what I was wondering. No one acknowledged your worth—I wondered how you could be alright with that."
Lily sighed, her shoulders drooping. "That's just how it is in Tsuchengko. And Hosun was much more important than me."
"I suppose so. But you're important here," Edra said.
Lily looked up sharply. The other woman wasn't smiling, exactly. But her tone had been gentle and her face was soft.
"Thank you."
"I give credit where it's due. You were asked to be a spy because you can be a huge asset to us." Edra cleared her throat. "That's why I found you."
Lily furrowed her eyebrows.
"We're getting worried because of the attack. There aren't many traitors here, I believe, but everyone is in danger." Edra walked closer to Lily, staring her dead in the eyes.
"We know of one person who's a traitor. We want you to get close to her and ask to join the Gongjensu," Edra said.
Lily nodded. "Because I want revenge on my kingdom and all that."
"Exactly." Edra nodded. "You have good reason to want revenge. But you really don't, right?"
Lily chuckled slightly, glancing at her feet. "No. Tsuchengko will always be my kingdom. I would never betray it, no matter what happened."
"And Arrian too, I hope," Edra said, raising an eyebrow.
Lily gave her a sharp nod. "Arrian as well."
Edra nodded in return. "Very well. So, you will get close to this person and then join the Gongjensu. We'll keep you out of spy training for a while, until you become trusted. Then, you can tell us what they're planning."
Lily swallowed, her heart already pounding. It was frightening—but of course she would do it. "Alright. Who is the traitor?"
"Madela Yath."
"What? I—I remember her," Lily said, taking a step back.
Edra nodded. "A seamstress' ward. She was adopted a few years ago."
"We went there for Arianna's wedding gown," Lily said, remembering the interaction. The girl had seemed nice.
"Go to get a dress made, strike up a conversation. Just get to know her without making her suspicious," Edra said.
"Alright." Lily nodded. "Thank you."
"And as a reminder, don't come in the mornings, yes? Only for training as a soldier."
"Right." Lily exhaled. Well, at least she'd be able to sleep in.
Edra nodded once more and walked out, her feet soundless on the grass.
Lily rubbed her forehead before walking out as well. She headed to her house. No one else was outside.
The attack had taken a toll on everyone. She hated to see the once-lively place become this. Though everyone would come out for the funeral.
She sighed, entering her house and going straight into the bedroom, sitting on her bed. She glanced down at the floor, where Arianna's pallet used to be.
The entire room seemed empty now.
She sighed, falling onto her back. She closed her eyes, tears pricking at her eyelids. Arianna was as good as gone, so was Brennon—and Hosun and her family. She turned onto her side, pulling the sheets over herself.
Her chest ached as she silently sobbed, thinking of all those she'd lost. Would it ever stop hurting?
For the first time in months, Lily let herself cry.
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