Chapter VI - Dream On
“Saint Dymphna?” Dean asked, crossing his arms as his eyebrows knit together.
“Yes, Saint Dymphna,” Castiel confirmed, nodding.
Sam furiously typed on his laptop, pulling up many articles on the Saint. “It says here that she is - er,” Sam cleared his throat, “Was, the daughter of an Irish King who was Pagan.”
“Oh, great, we’re dealing with Pagans again,” Dean said with a sigh, sitting next to Leila on the bed. “I hate Pagans.”
“What’s wrong with Pagans?” Leila asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Let’s just say that I literally want to kill every fudging one of them,” Dean said, dismissing the conversation.
Sam let a soft chuckle out, in hindsight of the event on that one Christmas, the goddess trying to make Dean not swear was entertaining, funny even. He shook his head, turning back to the computer screen. “It also says that her father murdered her, wait,” Sam turned back to Castiel, “Doesn’t that mean she’s already fallen?”
“Well, not necessarily,” Castiel replied, “She was blessed just before her death, and, I suppose the simplest way to put it is; she’s like you boys, she does not… stay dead. Rather, unlike you, she reincarnates by gaining another vessel.”
“Alright, so what’s the big deal with her falling?” Dean asked, “Can’t she just reincarnate and heaven can calm down?”
“That is the issue,” Castiel said, “She can’t, her falling usually only occurs every seven hundred years; marking the anniversary of her death. This time was… different.”
Dean sighed, mumbling a quiet, ‘fan-friggin-tastic.’ He looked at the angel, “How is it different?”
Castiel sighed mournfully, “This time she killed herself.”
Leila swallowed hard and side glanced at Dean, who was doing the same to her. She rubbed her arm, her hoodie covering the bandages that her and Dean didn’t want Sam to see. She could barely feel the stitches through her hoodie and gauze, but could feel them all the same. She looked away, wishing she hadn’t heard that. If a Saint could lose hope and finish herself, why couldn’t she?
Leila stood up and walked to the other room, Dean didn’t want her to kill herself and she was going to try her best not to. Staying away from triggering conversations was one way she could do that. Sam frowned, looking from Castiel to his older brother. Dean didn’t met his glance, he was the one that had set the ‘don’t tell Sam’ rule, after all. He couldn’t break it this early after setting it. Dean desperately wanted to change the topic of the conversation, but knew that this could lead him and Sam to what had been attacking them.
“Okay, so what do you need us for?” Dean asked, rubbing his temples with his ring finger and thumb. “If she’s already done herself in, then there’s nothing we can do.”
“For once, Dean,” Castiel mused, “You’re wrong when it comes to lore.”
“What?” Dean asked, looking up his angelic companion.
Castiel looked at Dean, “I cannot speak about it as of right now. But I require your help in finding her essence.”
“Her essence?” Sam asked, his forehead wrinkling as he raised his eyebrows.
Castiel looked from one Winchester to the other, then decided he’d change the subject. “Why did the girl leave the room?” He asked, pointing to the separated room.
“Doesn’t matter, Cas,” Dean said, standing and looking down at the angel. “What’s this about essence?”
“We do not speak about it,” Castiel looking away, “I may be in trouble for even mentioning it, let alone almost explaining it.”
Dean sighed once again, “Alright, how do we find her essence?”
Castiel explained the plan, and Dean shook his head in disbelief. Castiel’s plan was insane, they couldn’t help him because it would endanger Leila. He couldn’t let that happen. Everything had finally clicked, why did that always have to be when other things fell apart? Dean’s middle finger and thumb ran over his eyebrows. They dragged down his face to scratch at the short dirty blonde stubble that had grown along his jawline.
“No way in friggin’ hell I’m going back there. There was some freaky mojo there, last time we went, Cas.” Dean managed, trying to use himself as an excuse instead of Leila.
“I realize that,” Castiel replied calmly. “I was situated there after removing Lucifer from Sam, remember? Saint Dymphna was the one that assisted me in muting him from within myself.”
“Dean, if Cas says that we can find her there, then I say we should try it.” Sam piped, “It could help us figure out how to stop these demons.”
“We know how to stop them, Sammy,” Dean reasoned, “Rock salt works.”
“That won’t work forever, and you know it,” Sam replied. “If there is really something else going on here, we know that whatever is attacking us will find a way to not be affected by salt.”
“Fine,” Dean snapped, venom in his tone. “If we go here, how are we going to get in? We don’t have any excuses this time that are as bad as Sam freeing Lucifer from the cage.”
Leila walked out of the room, having failed at trying to not hear their conversation. “I can help with that.”
“No way in hell are you going there,” Dean said strictly. “Sam or I can do it.”
“I have the logical excuse to get in right here,” Leila said, motioning to her bandaged arm with her eyes so that only Dean could see.
Dean shook his head nearly unnoticably. “I’m not going to let you.”
“Dean,” Sam began, only half understanding their conversation. “If she can help us, I say we let her.”
Castiel looked at Leila and frowned. He could sense something within her, something… dark. He couldn’t pinpoint the cause of the pain and it frustrated him. He focused on her more and more, but nothing told him what was going on. His two fingers pressed against each other, ready to heal what was wrong. But he needed to focus on what needed fixed, and that didn’t seem possible with Leila. What could possibly be wrong with her? Castiel wondered.
“Please let me help,” Leila begged, wanting to feel like a part of something. “I can do it, you know I can.” Her bottom lip jutted out a tad with her request.
Dean sighed, he was always a sucker for his brother’s puppy dog eyes. That was usually it. Now, he was another victim taken by Leila’s infamous pout. He tried to ignore it, fighting internally with himself until he knew he had to do what would get rid of the demons. “Alright, fine,” He said in his grizzly voice. “But I get to take you there and I’m not leaving until they physically drag my ass out of there.”
Leila nodded, just relieved he’d actually let her help. “Well then… How about we leave first thing tomorrow morning?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Sam agreed before Dean could shut down the idea.
Dean laid on his stomach on the bed, pretending like he felt this was all okay. He clamped his eyes shut in defeat, knowing he wasn’t going to sleep that night. “Good, I’ve been dying to get some sleep.”
Leila walked over to and laid down on the bed that Sam and Dean had made her sleep on the night before. She turned off the light on the bedside table that had been turned on sometime when Leila and Dean had been driving. She slammed her head into the pillow, closing her eyes tightly. Sam wandered to the room he’d slept in the night before after shutting his laptop. He slid off his pants and pulled off his worn plaid flannel, tossing it in a pile. He crawled under the covers in his boxers and grey v-neck shirt.
Castiel dragged a chair from the kitchen table and sat down quietly on it. His back was straight, as always and he gazed at Leila as she slept soundly. He dug deep within her mind, trying to find out the answer to the mystery that was Leila. He frowned as he found nothing upsetting, he saw a good family who took care of her well. He didn’t understand, everything seemed perfectly normal, nothing like what was in Dean and Sam’s heads, which was in all likeliness a good thing. Castiel was frustrated, as he always was when he couldn’t figure things out.
Which, with Dean’s tendency to reference pop-culture, was quite often.
*****
In the morning, the group piled into Dean’s car, Castiel and Leila sat in the back together and Sam sat in the passenger seat while Dean drove as usual. He was looking into the back seat every so often, as he still wasn’t completely comfortable with letting Leila do what she was about to. As they’d discussed before they left, Dean was going to pretend to be Leila’s brother while getting Leila in to scope out the premises. Castiel and Sam would show up later after Dean got them in for visiting hours.
Dean pulled into the parking lot, handing the keys to Sam once he’d turned the engine off. He restated the plan, and everyone nodded in agreement. Dean and Leila got out of the car, and Sam got out as well to drive back to the hotel that was minutes away. Dean walked through the sliding doors with Leila at his side. She stood off to the side while Dean walked up to the front desk to talk to the receptionist.
“Where can I go to sign someone in?” Dean asked, slapping his hand on the desk.
The receptionist, named Lucy as Dean read on her lanyard, looked over his shoulder, “Is that her?” She asked in a gentle voice.
Dean nodded, “She’s a little…” He trailed off and made a spinning motion with his finger at the side of his head.
Lucy looked taken aback, “Sir, we are here to provide a safe and caring environment for our patients. We do not take lightly to vulgar or offensive gestures regarding patients or future patients.”
“Right, sorry,” Dean said with a stiff, plastic smile. “Could you just… please direct me to where I can see if my sister can be accepted into your facility. It’s just…” Dean began, choking back fake tears, “I worry so much about her.”
Lucy rose from her seat, “Right this way, bring your sister along, Mister…” She trailed off, looking at Dean expectantly.
“Please, call me Steve,” Dean said, turning towards Leila, “Hey, kid, come with me.”
Leila looked to Dean and walked over, not saying a word. Lucy looked at Leila with a smile, “And what’s your name?” She asked, her calm voice having a pinch of babying to it.
Leila looked from her to Dean, then back to Lucy. Her ‘character’ wasn’t supposed to talk much, as Dean didn’t want anything messed up. So, she was told to stay quiet and make it look as if she was just overly shy. She looked back at her hands without replying.
“This is Perry,” Dean said, answering for her.
Lucy quirked an eyebrow, “Steve and Perry?” She asked.
Dean nodded, taking in a sigh, “Our mom was a little crazy in her teens, her wanting so badly to be a ‘roadie’ actually lead to… well, me.” Dean said, chuckling. He was hoping to lighten the mood, but evidently not amusing the receptionist. He saw the look in her eyes, and knew that he immediately needed to smarten up if he wanted Leila to be accepted into the facility. He pressed his lips together, staying quiet.
Lucy lead them to an office, it was old and unlike the white of the walls and floors of the facility they were in. She walked in, Dean and Leila following, she introduced them to a bald man, whose spectacles rested low on the bridge of his nose. Lucy motioned to two brown leather chairs that sat in front of the man’s large, wooden desk. Dean and Leila sat down and Lucy left the room after shutting the door quietly. The man, Doctor Jim Williams, looked between Leila and Dean.
“So,” Dr. Williams said, crossing his fingers as his elbows rested on his desk. His tweed jacket’s sleeves lowered on his forearm slightly. “Why do you believe that your sister requires our help?”
Dean shifted in his seat and looked at Leila, then back to Dr. Williams. “Well, she has had problems about… hurting herself.” Dean started. “And, she keeps saying that she’s seeing these… what she calls demons.”
“Demons?” Dr. Williams asked.
“Yeah,” Dean said, his hand resting on his thigh.
“He was the one that told me to do it,” Leila muttered, her hair falling in front of her face.
“Told you to do it?” Dr. Williams asked.
“I almost did it,” Leila said, her head snapping up to look at him, then falling back down to look at her fidgeting fingers that resided on her lap.
Dr. Williams frowned, “I’m sorry, did what?”
Dean bit his lip, knowing this was part of the act, but it was still true. “She… I caught her in the bathroom last night…” He began.
“Was she harming herself?” Dr. Williams asked.
“I could’ve done in,” Leila whispered. “He would’ve been so proud of me.”
“What happened last night?” Dr. Williams asked urgently.
Leila stood up, rolling her sleeve up to reveal the bandages that Dean had wrapped over her stitches. Jutting out her arm to the Doctor, who easily saw the red stained white bandages, she drew in a deep breath. “I don’t want to be here. Not here, not anywhere.”
The Doctor swallowed hard, even though he worked at a mental hospital, it still scared him any time that a suicidal person entered the facility. “I think that she will need to stay here.” Dr. Williams said, his usually professional voice barely above a whisper. “Please fill out this form, Steve.”
He held a clipboard out to Dean with a form that had boxes for every possible thing that Leila had written on it. Dean took the pen from the top of the clipboard and clicked it with his thumb. His index, middle finger and thumb pinched the pen as he filled the form out with the blue ink. Leila had ‘briefed’ him on what he’d needed to fill out on the form. It worried Dean how she’d covered all the bases and knew the form basically inside out. After filling out the form and signing it ‘Steve Mercury,’ Dean handed the form back to Dr. Williams.
“Follow me,” Dr. Williams muttered, rising from his seat.
He lead Dean and Leila down a bright white hallway, and into a room where a plain sheeted bed sat in a corner. The plain grey walls were all too familiar to Leila, and she sighed. Luckily she’d convinced Dean they needed aliases, or else he would have known that she’d been there before. She licked her lips and looked at the Doctor.
“Isn’t there some kind of clothes I have to change into?” Leila asked as the Doctor turned around.
Doctor Williams nodded, “There should be an assortment of sizes in the closet, I’ll have someone give you a schedule in a moment.” He replied, walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him.
“Alright,” Dean began.
“Turn around.” Leila directed.
“What?” Dean asked, looking slightly taken aback.
“Turn around, I need to change into these clothes,” Leila replied, motioning to the closet.
Dean raised his eyebrows, but obliged, turning around so his back was to Leila. “How’d you know that those clothes were there anyway?” He asked, hearing her shuffling footsteps.
She went to the closet and quickly pulled off her clothes after finding a pair of what looked like scrubs that would fit her. “Lucky guess,” She replied, pulling the blue pants and white shirt on. She found a pair of white shoes that fit as well and slid them on her feet. There were blue robes, the same colour as the pants, that hung next to the clothing that Leila thought looked a bit like sumo wrestler robes, but she took one off the hanger and slid it on as well.
“A lucky guess?” Dean asked doubtfully, “Seriously?”
Leila sighed, “Yes, and you can turn around.”
Dean turned around, “Don’t do that, kid.”
Leila frowned, “Don’t do what?” She asked.
“Lie to me,” Dean replied, “Now, I’m going to go hunt down some pudding in this place, do you want anything?”
Leila shook her head in response, walking to the bed and laying down. She stared at the ceiling, hearing Dean’s footsteps walk to the door. “Hey kid?” She heard Dean ask.
“Yes?” She questioned, looking at where Dean’s head was poked in the door.
“Please don’t lie again,” Dean said, his eyes becoming slightly wider and a lot more like Sam’s when he was sad. His puppy dog shining through, “Especially not to me.”
*****
The words rang through Leila’s head as she woke up slowly, she looked to the calendar that hung on the wall of her cell… erm, room. The doctors had reluctantly let her put it up on the wall because it was ‘potentially harmful’ if Leila had set her mind to using it as such. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she rubbed her fingers together after to get off anything that had come out of her eyes. She wished she could tell what time it was, as she knew she’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep.
She sighed, ever since Dean had left her, which was three weeks on the dot, she’d been reliving when he left through her dreams. Each time they changed, but this time… This time was the closest the dreams had been to how Dean had really left. She knew he meant well, but she was bloody angry at him for it. She ran away from home to get away from people that thought she was crazy. She met Sam and Dean, and had just barely met Castiel, and it seemed like everything was going to be okay. Then he had caught her doing it and dropped her off at the hospital. Dean obviously thought that she was crazy, and he’d locked her away in there, without even a simple ‘goodbye.’
Leila got up, pacing her room as she did every morning. The scuffling of her shoes was the only sound she could hear. She felt as if she’d been pacing so much everyday, that there’d surely be a trench in the floor by now. She half wished that there was a trench, then she could have some means of escape from the one place she wanted to avoid.
She walked out of her room, her Doctor was going to come ask her how she was doing while she weighed her if she didn’t go and eat the crappy breakfast the hospital provided again. Leila looked up to the sky and wished that she could see someone again. Sam or Dean. Someone she felt comfortable talking to about how much she hated this place. She pulled at the paper-like medical bracelet she wore that adorned the name 'Mercury, Perry’ on it. She shuffled out of the room absentmindedly, praying that someone could come and save her.
As she left the room, she neglected to notice that there was a certain trench-coated angel that had appeared to answer her prayer. His sad eyes were all that spoke, because as of a week ago, Castiel had figured out the mystery that was Leila Connors.
*****
A.N. My bad, didn’t mean for this to be such a long wait! I’m so damn sorry! Hope that it was at least worth it!
Remember to vote/ comment/ fan if you enjoyed it. Let me know what you liked, and post any predictions you got!
Until next time, hunters and warriors,
-Thalia