•••
ALEXA WAS UP at six-thirty the next morning, her unable to sleep. she didn't want to bother steve, so she decided to head to the gym.
she went down a few floors, seeing natasha in the gym, running the treadmill. natasha turned around, seeing alexa. she got onto the sides of the treadmill, turning it off.
"why aren't you sleeping lex?" she asked, walking towards her. alexa met natasha in the middle of the gym, them reading each other's mind as they got into their sparring stances.
"cant sleep. how about you?" alexa asked, them going straight for eachother. alexa threw a punch, natasha dodging it. natasha sent her elbow to alexa's stomach. she caught it, twisted her arm and kicked natasha's legs from underneath her. natasha fell to the floor, her being distracted. alexa towered over her, the two panting.
"same thing. is it about barnes?" natasha asked as alexa helped natasha up, them starting back up again. natasha threw a punch to alexa, her dodging it. she kicked natasha in the stomach, nat barley catching her foot as she dragged alexa down to the floor.
"don't do it if you don't have a way out." natasha said, alexa nodding.
"those damn dreams keep me awake. you?" alexa asked, her getting back up. the two went back and forth with punches, kicks, dodges and some aerobatic practice.
bucky and steve watched the last five minutes, alexa sprinting towards nat as she used the thighs of death move. steve smiled at the move he knows too well as bucky stared in utter and complete shock.
"how'd she-?" bucky's question trailed off as he watched in awe, steve laughing.
"just one of those nights where i just cant sleep." alexa smirked, her unhooking her legs from natasha. alexa helped her up, the two out of breath. they both looked at the door, the two men walking in.
"hey rogers, barnes." natasha said, alexa giving a small smile to the two.
"has anyone ever called you two barnes and noble? cause ya know, barnes, and steve, you're noble... i guess." alexa trailed off, natasha trying so hard not to double over in laughter. bucky covered his mouth with his prosthetic hand, holding back a laugh.
"no, but that's a good one alexa." bucky said as steve smiled, shaking his head. alexa smiled proudly at natasha, nat playfully rolling her eyes.
"why thank you bucky." alexa grabbed her water bottle from the bench, excusing herself to shower. the three looked at eachother, natasha speaking up.
"she makes jokes when she's nervous." natasha blurted out, covering her mouth immediately.
"for an assassin, you aren't good at keeping secrets natasha." bucky said with a smirk on his face. natasha gave him a look, bucky not wiping the smirk off his face.
"mr. stark has called for a team meeting in 3 hours in the conference room." FRIDAY announced. natasha said goodbye the men, her leaving to shower. bucky's eyes widened in realization, spinning on his heel to face steve.
"does that mean alexa was nervous? why?" steve shrugged his shoulders, wrapping his hands to get ready to punch the punching bag.
"not sure. don't read into it too much buck. she has anxiety, she overthinks things a lot, she worries a lot, she's always kinda nervous, but tony and bruce have been helping her with it." bucky nodded, his smile gone for the rest of training.
•••
steve and bucky were the last to enter the conference room, the two sitting across from alexa and sam. tony stood at the end of the conference table, his arms crossed.
"i just wanted everyone here to welcome bucky, cause he's old like steve and not caught up on everything," bucky let out a breathy laugh, putting his head down.
"don't worry bucky, he did the same thing to steve." alexa whispered across the table, steve sending her a look, bucky and alexa snickering.
"so i want us, as a team, as a family, to help bucky and welcome him, cause we haven't been very good at that. so share and play nice with each other."
"thank you tony." bucky said, tony sending him a smile. the small and quick team meeting ended, everyone rising from their seats and dispersing to different parts of the tower. alexa, literally about to pass out from little sleep she got the night before and training, headed to her room.
she was out like a light as soon as her head hit the pillow.
•••
"romanov, markov, we have a new mission for you too." mr. richardson had said lowly, the two women walking toward him.
"yes sir?" natasha asked, the two standing confidently next to each other.
"there's a serum in this hospital in tampa, flordia. infiltrate and find the package. bring it back in less then 72 hours." the two nodded, behing handed a briefing. so they were off to tampa, alexa pacing in the jet.
"i can hear your thoughts lex, this is what we're trained for." natasha told her, the jet landing. alexa nodded, standing up as they waited for the door to open. as soon as it did, they ran out towards the hospital.
another organization was here for it too, meaning that they had to find the serum first. when a grenade went off, and someone had screamed that the black widow and white shadow were here, everyone had screamed in terror as they tried to get to shelter.
why were they afraid of her? she thought she was doing the right thing, for the right cause. was she?
as the two split up, she took down some men. yet when she reached the children's ward, her eyes widened at the sight of an unmoving little boy in the arms of their wailing mother. she caused that. she's the reason why that mother doesn't have her son anymore. she's-
steve slightly shook her awake, backing up as alexa sat up quickly, gasping for air. her loud, deep inhales startled steve, tears rushing down her face. steve sat down infront of her, being careful with his movements.
"alexa, it's steve." he spoke softly. "can you look at me sweetheart?" she tried to lift her head but had failed, a broken sob echoing throughout her room. steve settled down, sitting with his legs crossed as he reached out, taking her small, trembling hands in his steady ones.
"it hurts a lot this time." she barley got out, him knowing she was talking about the growing pain in her chest.
steve mumbled a 'i know sweetheart' and brought her close to him as she continued to sob. the dreams were bad, but when they were a memory she had thought she had finally forgot about, it ended up like this.
"remember what i told you?" he had asked quietly, taking alexa's forefinger and middle finger and placing them on the pulse on his wrist, his own fingers placed on her wrist.
"find the pulse, find the ground and i'll find my safe place." she mumbled through sniffles. steve smiled down at her, wiping away her stray tears with his thumb while his other hand remained on her wrist, her sobs had slowed down into sniffles and her breathing was beginning to even out.
"everything alright, i'm not leaving you." steve said soothingly, alexa not meeting his eyes.
"everything i've done is all my fault," this caught steve off guard, his finger was placed under her chin, her reluctantly looking up at him.
"i've hurt so many people steve. so many. and they didn't deserve it, the innocent who were killed at my doing. i thought i was doing the right thing." steve listened, letting her talk as his thumb drew lazy circles where is hand rested on her thigh.
"it's not your fault alexa. it's not. we've all done bad things. i know you wish you could go back in time, but you can't, and i know it sucks but we use the things we did wrong as lessons." steve said, alexa sighing at the fact he's right. steve's always right.
"how'd you know i was having a nightmare?" alexa asked, steve giving her a small smile.
"FRIDAY told me your heart rate was elevating quickly and i knew you were sleeping so i figured it was a nightmare." he said, the bags under her eyes from lack of sleep visible.
"you didn't have to come here steve." she huffed, knowing that she bothers him a lot with this stuff. she tucked her head under his chin as he hugged her again.
"i wasn't planning to leave you to go through this alone sweetheart," he pressed a delicate kiss to the crown of her head. "we're in this together and i'll never let you go through these alone, not if i can help it."
"thank you," she spoke quietly. "you keep me sane in this insane life of ours." steve chuckled, finally deciding to let her go.
"you don't have to thank me lex." steve said, a soft smile etched on his face.
"bucky," alexa's head went up at the name.
"he deals, with the nightmares too. he was telling me about them, he knows some ways to cope with them. i think he'd be more then willing to help." steve offered to her, alexa nodding.
"i'll ask him about it. thank you steve." he gave her hand a quick squeeze before getting up.
"if you need me, i'll be on sam's floor." alexa nodded, sending him a grateful smile. steve closed the door behind him, alexa laid back down rubbing her face with her hands. bucky got off the couch as the two walked into the elevator, heading to sam's floor.
"why'd friday alert you about alexa? is she okay?" bucky asks, steve letting out a soft sigh as he nodded.
"i make sure FRIDAY lets me know when alexa is having a nightmare, she deals with them a lot." bucky held eye contact with steve before he looked down. the rest of the elevator ride was silent.
alexa has looked at the time, it being three-forty seven.
"i was only sleeping for fifteen minutes. are you joking?"