Confession chapter! Here, I come~! ヽ(*≧ω≦)ﾉ
Third person POV
Nagisa sighed in relief, closing his book at the sound of the bell. Finally. His day had started out awfully with his mother's temper tantrum, the very first thing in the morning. Then upon reaching the school, their homeroom teacher gave him an earful about how his scores were bringing his reputation down.
It didn't help that Okuda wasn't present today either. He could have went to her for comfort and to complain about the difficulty of the home works, if she was. Lunch time had been quite okay compared to the rest of his day because his shy and pathetic ass finally managed to ask Karma out to eat.
"Let's get moving, shall we?" Karma asked, his bag slung over his shoulder, waiting for the blue head.
Nagisa nodded, shoving the books inside his bag as quickly as possible before catching up to him.
"WcDonald's, right?" Karma asked before a lazy smirk stretched across his face, "You normally don't plan things like these so what's up?"
His statement was very true and question understandable. Nagisa never initiated any plans or hang outs and it was always Karma. Today, however, the blue head had invited him which was very unusual and somewhat strange but Karma was glad nonetheless. He had quickly caught onto the fact that something had to be wrong with Nagisa to ask him for the first time.
"A-ah, about that.." Nagisa stammered, scratching his cheek, "Well, I just wanted to talk about stuffs like before." By 'before', Karma presumed that it meant before Okuda entered their group.
Karma hummed approvingly, it did make sense so why not?
The matter was dropped right there and they headed to WcDonald's, making some small talks along the way. The second term had already finished and their next exam was approaching quite fast. It felt like time had flew by without them even being aware of it.
"I'll bring the food. You just stay here." Karma stood up his seat, placing his bag on his seat before going up to the counter.
Nagisa took in a deep breath, this was it. He watched the taller boy talk with the person on the counter for, ostensibly, their orders. That nagging feeling to confess to Karma and come clean had been running through his mind quite a lot after talking with Okuda about it.
He could never hide anything from Karma and he felt somewhat guilty for hiding such a big secret from him for so long. His conscience couldn't handle masking all the feelings he had for him, it almost felt like a malfeasance to do so!
His azure eyes narrowed in focus, and anyway, he had put a lot of thought into the confession because it wasn't a lighthearted topic that they would discuss so freely. It was an extremely risky move; worse case scenario, Karma would reject him and the relationship between them might possibly be severed to a point where it could never be repaired again.
"Huh? Where did he go? Nagisa?" He snapped out of his uninspiring train of thought because of Karma calling his name, even though he was sitting right in front of him. Was he trying to prank him?
Nagisa poked his waist, noticing how all his muscles suddenly tensed as if he hasn't anticipated that hit. With wide eyes, he turned around with an almost gaping expression making Nagisa even more puzzled.
"Karma? Didn't you see me? I was sitting right here." Karma stared at him with a weird sort of interest, scrutinizing his soul before the quizzical expression faded and Karma chuckled.
"Ah, sorry. You're so short that I didn't see at all." Ah so he was pretending after all.
"Well, putting that aside.." Karma placed the tray of food on the table, "What did you want to talk about?"
Nagisa took his share, playing with the straw of his drink. He suppresed the urge to burst into the darkest shade of red and mustered enough courage to speak up as he started, "Well, the thing is.."
His eyes accidentally met Karma's own which were fully focused on him, making his determination falter. He clenched his fist below the table to gather himself, he shouldn't be shaken by an eye contact with Karma then why...?
"Um..I was just wondering if we'd end up in the same class the next time too." Karma blinked, the intense atmosphere dissipated all of a sudden as if it wasn't there the first place.
"Oh, 'bout that? I guess even if we do end up in different classes." Nagisa bit the inside of his cheek, "We'd still be able to come around and meet up at the same place as before, shouldn't we?"
Nagisa chuckled awkwardly, "Y-yeah."
Their conversation carried on like that for a while before they separated and went to their home.
He couldn't say it...
~
"So, did you do it?" Okuda questioned, watching the bluehead shake his head.
"No, I just..." He had such a good chance to, so why couldn't he? God, he was such a failure. In his house, in his school and even in being a friend. "I just couldn't and I chickened out." He admitted with an ashamed face, his head drooping downwards to the concrete floor.
Okuda shook her head fondly with a pitiful smile. "That's alright. People freak out when admitting things like that, so it was expected."
Upon seeing his crestfallen state, she patted his back sympathetically, "It's okay. Don't worry, we've got all the time in the world, so no need to rush it."
Her consolation was appreciated and Nagisa did feel slightly better now that she'd helped him. She was such a good friend. What did he even do to deserve someone like her? He felt guilty making her attend to him for solace every time he messed up.
"You can just try next time, right? I'll even help you to confess!" Okuda tried again, feeling genuinely sorry for the blue head.
"What will you help him at?"
Both of them jolted at the question and twisted in their seats to see the red head sipping on a box of strawberry milk. He had a questioning quirk to his eyebrows, and a bemused look on his face.
"So, what were you going to help him in?" Karma questioned, taking a sip of the drink.
Okuda panicked, "Ah..we..I just-" Nagisa fabricated a lie swiftly enough to cover for her stuttering state, "We were just talking about our maths homework."
Karma raised his brow quizzically, probably not believing his lie but he was merciful enough to let the matter slip by. "Okay, then."
Their daily routine of making small talks and chatting about stuffs started, causing Nagisa to mentally let out a relieved sigh. That was a close call. Almost too close.
"Right. The Japanese haiku writing was a cinch. Even a blockhead would be able to score at least a 60 in that." Karma answered, and Nagisa noticed a strange thing. The red head was trying to avoid talking to him as subtly as possible. He had his whole body turned towards Okuda.
He frowned, maybe it was just his imagination? But he'd been getting sharper at observing and noticing things, so maybe he was just overestimating his own observational skills.
He shrugged the matter off and spoke and chatter with the group, but not without noticing that Karma stared at him for an unnecessarily long time, not with fondness or affection though, he had this strange type of question in his eyes.
And Nagisa didn't mention or linger on that particular detail, shrugging it off.
~
It happened the next day too.
"Karma! Let's hangout in the arcade!"
"I'm busy today, sorry."
And the next one.
"Karma, the bookstore's open today. Let's check the Sonic Ninja magazines!"
"Not today. My parents are coming home."
The following day too.
"Karma? Do you want to go to the park with Okuda and me?"
"Nah, go ahead,"
At first, Nagisa thought that he was actually busy and let the matter slip by offhandedly. But as he looked more into it and all his rejected invites, Karma seemed to be more detached and distant from him than before. It made Nagisa frown and jog his memory to see if he'd done something offensive to Karma.
He couldn't recall anything offensive except that one time that he called Karma a jerk, playfully if he may add. And from what he'd known, Karma was never the one to take playful banters seriously.
Strangely enough, Karma appeared to be his normal self when he was around Okuda, snickering and talking normally enough to make anyone believe that nothing had happened.
Okuda caught up to his weird behavior too. She flashed Nagisa a concerned look whenever Karma abruptly ended their conversation just as Nagisa arrived and leaving the group for the rest if the day.
That hurt..
Before he knew it, Karma had distanced himself quite a bit from Nagisa, acting as if he was never his friend and going on his own way. The fact that Karma looked so nonchalant hit him right in his gut, it looked like Karma was happier without him.
"I don't know why Karma's avoiding me." Nagisa admitted frowning, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and sadness.
Okuda smiled sadly, "I don't know too. Whenever I mention you, Karma-kun just changes the whole subject."
That resulted him to think of the only outcome why Karma was avoiding him. Maybe, Karma realized that he was much more than Nagisa could ever hope to be. Maybe, Karma just wanted the stage all for himself after realizing his true worth and potential. All these assumptions seemed to be so correct but a tiny part of Nagisa's mind refused to believe those hypothetical reasons.
No matter how much he tried to be casual about the subject, inside, he could feel his heart tear itself into pieces just at the mention of the subject.
It didn't help that his self-esteem took a huge blow after, destroying the little confidence he had on himself. He'd never thought that Karma had so much influence on him and his life.
Talking and hanging out with Karma was an unpremeditated daily routine for him before but now it felt so...ridiculously wrong, to spend a day without Karma's presence next to him.
Their final term ended with a cruel placement of the whole group- Karma, Okuda and Nagisa- in separate classes.
"I guess we can't help it." Okuda sighed sadly, the blue capital '2-B' glaring at her.
Nagisa himself nodded, exhaling deeply at the green '2-D' printed on his paper. Just when he thought his year couldn't be worse, this happened.
"Well, at least we can meet up at the cafeteria right?" Okuda tried to cheer the blue head up but both of them knew that it wouldn't work.
Nagisa's self-esteem and mood had taken a huge dive down after Karma started ignoring him, resulting him with having no faith in himself and a dark cloud of self-deprication to loom above him.
"Yeah.." His eyes caught the bright yellow '2-A' printed on Karma's paper on the red head's desk. It appeared that even the stars didn't want them to bump into each other. "I guess we can."
Okuda beamed brightly, most likely to brighten the mood than her own mood reflecting the smile. Nagisa really appreciated her efforts, he really did, but he didn't know how to convey his gratitude properly.
He simply let his lips quirk up in the most 'himself' way possible before saying in the most genuine and heartfelt way he could, "Thank you."
After all, they were going to seperate and who knew if they would even get to connect with each other no matter how strong their friendship had been established.
Qotc: Fav ship? (Only 5 ships please) Karmagisa, Bakudeku, RayxFire, PunkxNerd and Normma 4 life!
Ahahaha, I'm cruel, aren't I? Well, keep your pitchforks and knives away for now because our smol snake boy will probably face more trouble in the upcoming chappy. But do not worry because "watashi ga kita!" (I love love love you if you get the reference)
Stay tuned, don't forget to vote and comment~
Words: 2066 words
Bye~! ( ' ▽ ' )ﾉ