and so the third and final story to the confide trilogy begins...!
3 Years After Rick and the Bridge
The sunlight from Alex's window had shined right in her face. It was early morning, and once again another night with restless sleep. For years, she couldn't sleep right. It went deeper than just sleep. Without being in the right mindset, it forced her to stay up for hours, to work non stop, so that she could try not to think about all that went wrong since Rick's death. But, despite Alexandria growing stronger, as well as the other communities, she felt like she wasn't growing with it.
Months, definitely even some years have passed since Rick's death. Things were changing, most of it was good. Alexandria had elected officials to make the community thrive and more organized. They held elections for certain roles so things could work. There wasn't just going to be one leader anymore - there were going to be leaders for certain aspects.
Alex finally opens her eyes, but quickly squints at the sun. Everything was too bright, and she was exhausted. Her head turns from the window to the body laying down next to her, hiding in the covers and the pillow.
"I thought you left last night." She groans, stretching her body.
"Good morning to you too."
His voice was deep, but loud enough to hear him. Her body rolls over then sits up against the wall on her bed. She rubs her eyes, then stares down at the man beside her laying down.
"I've told you this many times, you can't sleepover. You can't.. we can't do this."
"Oh come on, babe." He chuckles as he sits up next to me. "You have to admit, this? This is perfect. Having a good time at night, then falling asleep-"
"I'll stop you right there," she laughs sarcastically, as she points at him and then herself, "this doesn't mean anything."
"Oh, Lex."
"Do not call me that." Her head snaps to the man laying in her bed. "You gotta go, get out. Now, Elijah."
"What? I can't put on my clothes here?"
Alex stands up, dressed in the heavily faded blue button down that was once his. She stares down Elijah in annoyance. "Elijah, go."
She watches him swiftly move off the bed, heading to the door.
"Alex, you gotta just let things happen." He says.
"No, not this." She shakes her head and turns back to her window, looking out at the empty streets of Alexandria. "That's done with."
Once she's alone, she sits down on the edge of the bed, sighing as she puts her head in her hands. After trying to gather her thoughts about Elijah, she looks around the empty guest room. She silently thanked herself for never bringing him or anyone else in the room next door, the one her and Daryl shared - she didn't think she could handle the heartache if she let another man that wasn't Daryl, in that bed.
The day Alex and Daryl watched Rick sacrificed himself for everyone, was a rough day. Especially the days and weeks leading after. The two of them stood by each others side, despite everything that happened. Although they barely spoke, they both accepted each others embrace and comfort.
During that time, Alex felt like maybe it was time to get over the difference in perspective they shared, especially now since the majority of saviors are dead, and some completely gone. Negan was still in his cell, rotting away for what he did. But it wasn't easy, not for her and definitely not for him. Their relationship was...not the same. It was still something they were trying to figure out after all this time. It was like time was becoming the enemy for them both. Alex thought maybe things would get better for the two right away. But it still took time to get to where they used to be.
After giving up on the search, Alex spent her time in Alexandria with others trying to continue what Rick wanted for the community. Michonne went on with Daryl, and that's when Alex noticed that things would be different with them. Daryl wouldn't return to Alexandria, or live anywhere else.
Occasionally, for the first year after Rick he would step in for visits. Everyone, including Alex, had always welcomed and accepted him. It was his home, they were family. But no matter how many visits, he would never give in, only to return back to living in somewhere among the woods, alone. Despite the deafening silence between them most of the time, there were rare moments where Daryl would show up to their old place in Alexandria (where Alex still lived) and they would share intimate moments.
But something felt off about him, Michonne too. It was like something had happened when they were out beyond the walls of Alexandria, something bad. Alex couldn't bring herself to explicitly ask, but if she asked how it all went after she left them two, Michonne would either ignore or vaguely respond.
And after the second year, they continued to grow apart. It was just space and time growing between them, and Alex was hurting. Although she had people like Rosita by her side, there was still pain that made her feel like she was breaking. The visits were decreasing, only ever popping in on Alexandria to check on Michonne and the kids.
Without Alex knowing, he knew how close her and Rosita had got, so he would talk about her and check in on her through Rosita. For some reason, he didn't think that Alex wouldn't want to see him.
And at the mark of the third year since Rick, Alex was pushing herself every day to work. Even in places where she didn't need to. She was doing what Rick was supposed to be when they first arrived in Alexandria - a constable. Someone who basically policed the community. But she wanted to join Michonne with being the security at home. Michonne would be out almost every day, while Alex stood back and made sure things were going smooth with everyone, and no intruders intrude.
Alex left the guest room and headed next door to her bedroom. She grabbed clothes and shoes and took herself into the shower. She wanted to rid herself of what she did last night, what she had been doing the past few months. She didn't know where her and Daryl left off.
Did it end without saying? Was he gone all this time because he wanted to move on? What about all the settling down he was finally getting comfortable with? It had to be all gone since they never spoke.
Time was telling. And it wasn't telling anything good.
After spending a handful of time in the shower, mostly over thinking things like always, she made her way down the streets and towards the gates. Today, Michonne was leaving again to go beyond the gates. Whether it was hope and looking for a possibility that Rick was alive, or if it was her making sure Alexandria was safe from anything or anyone bad.
She sees Michonne walking the horse to the gates, pausing to wait for them open.
"I thought maybe you'd stay back, you know..."
"You got the kids today for me?" Michonne asks as she jumps up to sit on the horse by the front gates.
"Of course. How long are you going to be out there?"
"More than a day."
"Have you seen him lately?" Alex asks, furrowing her brows.
Michonne nods, offering a tiny smile. "Yeah, he's been on some runs with me. Held up in his own little camp still."
"Same place?"
"Yeah, you thinking about visiting him? I could take you there."
"Oh, no.. not today." Alex takes a step back.
"I have the walkie, so signal me if anything."
"Hey 'Chonne?" She looks down at Alex again as she speaks. "Be safe out there."
"Always am." She furrows her brows.
The gates open and Michonne's horse gallops fast out of Alexandria, making her way back on the road. Alex signals the watchers to close the gate back up, and from there she's ready to take on the day.
Alex finds herself patrolling the perimeter of inside Alexandria, just as a routine to make sure the walls were holding up, and that nothing was threatening the community. She gave up on runs a long time ago as she figured if she isn't entirely okay at home, how could she ever be okay out there again?
If Rick was here, he would've knocked some sense into her with one of his speeches. Oh how she misses that so much.
Alex found herself outside her home, holding onto RJ in her lap as she sat on the steps and watched Judith skip around with another child, playing silly games and talking about who knows what. She started to see Carl in her more and more as she grew. And little RJ was looking
As the next two days go on, Michonne doesn't return home. Alex isn't worried about her safety, just concerned for her and the fact that her kids are in need of her. But that was one thing the kids never needed to worry about. They were all family, always with them and watching out for them like if they were their own.
As Alex checks in on everyone for the day, she finally sits down and relaxes with RJ as Judith plays.
"Yo!"
Alex smiles at the sight of the black, long haired woman coming her way. One of her best friends, and someone who's kept her company in times of misery. Rosita pats Judith on the head as she walks by and towards the steps of Alex's home--apartment.
"What's going on, Lex?
"Taking it easy, watching the kids." She smiles down at RJ.
"He's starting to look like Rick."
Her eyes stare down at his, as he smiles big and starts tangling his hands into Alex's long hair.
"He is."
"So..." Rosita drags out the word.
"What?" Alex looks up, ready for her teasing about whatever she was going to tease about again.
"So, you and Elijah."
"Are nothing. Now, we need to set up a plan. We're running low on some women's stuff. I figure I'd send you and a few others out."
"Don't change the subject." She rolls her eyes and laughs as her body shifts her weight from one foot to another. "Besides, I think it's great you're finally moving on."
"Rosita."
"What?" She stares at me, neither of us saying another word. My shoulders slouch as I let out a sigh, shaking my head. "Dios mio, please don't tell me after all this time you're still worried about him."
"I don't want to talk about this."
"But you need to." She says, grabbing my hand. "It's been so long since everything happened. Never saw you speak to anyone, I've caught you breaking down more times than I can count on my fingers. You and I, we've had our moments. But I just wanted to let you know that I'm always here, we've come along way you and I."
"There's nothing to talk about." Alex lies, she knows damn well she has a million things running around her head.
"When you're not in denial anymore, just find me. But you have to listen to me... I know that you two never really ended things, or even resolved things. But you can't keep hurting yourself by using Elijah, when you know damn well your heart belongs with someone else."
"Rosita..."
"We don't need to talk now, I know." She grabs Alex's hand. "Find me later tonight, we can have a girls night. Just us, alright?"
"Thanks, Ros."
With that, she squeezes her hand and walks away, leaving Alex perplexed. She hasn't thought about him in a while, and now, it'll be in her mind for not only the next few hours, but the next few weeks.
It's getting closer to night, the sky painted baby blue with a peach and purple sunset illuminating the community. Out in the crisp weather, Alex takes Judith and RJ for a nice walk around Alexandria. RJ was falling asleep in the carriage, Judith was walking ahead, the big sheriff hat slowly falling over and covering her eyes making Alex laugh.
This made her feel okay. Even though she didn't have Daryl and she couldn't ever have her own kids, being guardians of these two and being a godmother to Hershel Jr.
Just before she turns the corner by the front gates and heads back home, they open just startling Alex a tiny bit. She stops in her tracks and watches Michonne enter with her horse. SHe was finally home, and earlier in the day, she wasn't so sure if Michonne would come tonight.
For a second, she begins to question why the gates never closed. But then she sees him.
Daryl.
He walks in and her eyes go wide. She wasn't expecting him to be here, but here he was. He follows Michonne who is now off the horse and they walk together, towards Alex.
Of course she wants to see him, talk to him. But she didn't realize that she wasn't ready or even capable just yet. And god, she hates being so weak after all these years of finally becoming stronger and being better at confrontation.
But now she's back at square one.
"Mom!" Judith smiles, and looks up at Alex.
Alex laughs, "Yes, your mom. She's home! Go."
"Can I take the stroller?"
"Yeah, sure. Be careful, your brother is sleeping." She says, carefully guiding Judith with the stroller and letting her walk on her own when Michonne is just a few feet away.
Alex waves at Michonne, and quickly turns away from her and Daryl, practically running back to her home. She runs into Siddiq on the way and tells him to have Rosita meet her as soon as she could. But, as time goes on, she doesn't show up for a while.
As she waits by the window, she finally sees her arrive and takes the wine bottle and the glasses outside.
"Took you long enough!"
"Sorry, I was handling things."
"Siddiq?"
"No, actually," Rosita smiles, taking a seat on the step and grabbing the bottle of wine out of Alex's hands. She pours them both a glass and stares up at Alex who's sitting a few steps up from her.
"I saw Daryl for a bit."
"You were talking to him?" Alex asks, as they sit on the stoop, wine glasses in their hands.
"I can't not tell you this...but he's been asking about you." Rosita says. "You know how he is, Alex. He's afraid."
"He tell you that?"
"He didn't have to." Rosita looks up at her from the bottom step, her eyes filled with sympathy and some sadness. "Look, he needs you. But he's hesitant for reasons he won't say. I think he's just scared to face you, maybe what happened to all of us years ago and you two weren't on the same side."
"But...if he wants to be here, if he wants us to get where we used to be, why isn't he here?"
"He's scared, Lex." She nods. "You never backed down from what you stood for, you still don't. So I think he might feel as if you won't look at him like before. And Negan's still alive, he's here in Alexandria. Just think about that."
"All these years though. It doesn't make sense."
"If you both still feel like you can come back to each other, make things right... you can do it. I just think you both need a push in the right direction."
"Is this you pushing me first?"
"I've been speaking to him for... a long time now." Rosita admits. "So maybe I've just been trying to push the both of you."
"Are you doing this for me and him in order to clear your mind about Siddiq?"
"Nope." Rosita smirks.
Alex looks at her questionably as she sips the glass of wine. After gulping down the rest of it, she sighs and stares ahead, thinking about the mistakes she's made with Elijah, and wanting to get some answers from Daryl. She can't keep going on like this.
"We deserve to get peace." Rosita says. "After all this time, after everything everyone has been through, it's what we deserve. Move the fuck on and get better."
Things are changing again, for the better. But Alex felt like everything and everyone around her were going with it, and she was stuck in the same spot just years ago. How long can she keep up until she falls behind, stuck in sorrow?
-
READ:
I know, the beginning is a huge change and probably a big surprise in Alex's case. But things will become more clear, but still complicated with Alex and even with Daryl.
Remember, the first part of this third and final book is all about the 3rd year, so we're not doing the big time jump from the show until the SECOND part. You'll know when its the official 6 year time jump that happens in Season 9, Episode 6.