It was Friday morning, and Sam Puckett ran breathlessly into the Shay apartment. Carly's older brother, Spencer Shay was sitting at the kitchen counter, watching the computer screen, where the iCarly web show would be broadcasting live in fifteen minutes. He was drinking some kind of thick smoothie with a very weird color. Sam stopped at the foot of the stairs, and backtracked to where Spencer sat sipping his smoothie.
"Hey, Spencer?"asked Sam.
"Yuh-huh?"
"What in God's name are you drinking?"
He showed it to her proudly, as if hosting Let's Make A Deal."A Kiwi-lime protein shake blended with ever-so-sweet-and-salty sweet potato fries."
"Huh," said Sam, interested. Then without a second's hesitation, she took it from him, and took a sip. "Thanks."
Smoothie in hand, Sam hurried up the stairs. Spencer just watched her go as if she'd just stolen his new puppy. "She just stole my Kiwi-lime protein shake blended with ever-so-sweet-and-salty sweet potato fries," he said sadly, already missing the sweet and salty goodness.
CARLY
Upstairs in the loft where I and my best friends Sam Puckett and Freddie Bensen shot our web show, iCarly, Sam burst in the door. She took a sip of her new shake, and said. "Thank God. He isn't here, yet."
I just looked at her funny. "What are you drinking?"
"A Kiwi-lime protein shake blended with ever-so-sweet-and-salty sweet potato fries."
"Where did you –"
"Spencer," we said together.
"Freddie should be here any minute," I said excitedly.
"Is our guest here?" asked Sam.
"She's in the bathroom," I told her.
"You know," Sam said, as she pulled the lid off the shake and chugged the rest of it down. "I still can't believe it's actually happening."
"I know," I said. "Freddie's finally 18! Now it won't be the weird She's-eighteen-and-her-boyfriend's-only-seventeen."
"Truuuue...." said Sam slowly. "But you know that's not what I'm talking about."
My face fell. "I know. But I'm worried he'll be really upset when I tell him."
Sam laughed. "Are you kidding? The kid's been crazy about you since Kindergarten. He's gonna love being a –"
She immediately shut up as Freddie walked in with a big smile.
"Hey, Fredward," said Sam teasingly. "You better watch out for rats with a grin full of that much cheese."
He ignored her – something he got surprisingly very good at it – and walked over to me. He kissed me passionately, and Sam grimaced. "Okay, break it up, guys. You get yourselves a room while I go find me a barf bag."
Freddie just grinned at her. "Jealous?"
"Oh, yeah," said Sam sarcastically. "There's nothing I would love more than having your tongue shoved down my throat. And just FYI, the show starts in, like thirty seconds."
"Crap," said Freddie, totally having forgotten the time. Hell, when he was kissing me, he seemed to forget his own name. He hurried over to his sweet, high-tech filming gear, as Sam and I got in our places. He started the countdown. "In 5...4...3...2...1...!" He hit the record button, and the show was on.
"Hi," I said, excitedly. "I'm the lovable Carly!"
"And I'm the hateable Sam!" Sam pitched in.
"This can be true," I added.
Chiming in together, we said, "And this is iCarly!"
"As promised," I told our viewers, "we have a big surprise today!"
"Huge!" added Sam.
"As a lot of you may or may not have heard," I said, "on Halloween of 2003, a young surfer girl lost her arm to a huge tiger shark!"
"Halloween people," Sam chimed in. "Talk about irony!"
"Well that surfer girl happens to be a huge fan of iCarly, and is here today! Give a huge hand for –"
"Bethany Hamilton!" chimed Sam and I together. Freddy quickly pushed the button that made a sound like people cheering. Then a tall blonde girl in a white sundress walked in, all smiles. Her left arm was gone, revealing just a stump.
"Hey, guys!" said Bethany excitedly. She hugged Sam and me with a big smile. She faced Freddie and the camera. "I am so stoked to be a guest on iCarly! I have been a dedicated fan since the very beginning."
"So, Beth," said Sam. "What is it like only having one arm?"
"Sam!" I admonished. "That is so rude!"
"No," Bethany cut in. "It's okay." She turned to Sam. "Well, Sam. It's very different than having two, that's for sure." Sam and I laughed. Even Freddie cracked a smile. "When I first came out of surgery, the doctor told me that the list of things I'd have to learn to do differently was very extensive. And he was right. Everything that came so easily to me all my life was extremely difficult with only one arm to work with. I mean, fixing your hair isn't exactly rocket science. Unless you only have one arm. Then it seems like the cow will jump over the moon before you can even make a simple ponytail."
We all laughed at that. Even Freddie was cracking up.
"So," I said, hinting subtly at my new revelation. "I heard you recently had a baby." Freddie's smile lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Yes, I did," said Bethany. "I have an amazing baby boy, and a husband sent straight from Heaven."
At that, Freddie walked from around the camera with a big smile. "Can I say something?"
"Of course," I said.
Freddie faced the camera. "As many of our viewers know, Carly and I have been dating for almost a year now." He smiled at me. "I've been gathering up the courage all morning, and now I think it's time."
"Time for what?" I asked.
"What are you yapping about, now?" asked Sam.
Freddie cleared his throat. "Carly," he said. "I love you more than life itself, and by some miracle sent from all of my Guardian Angels, you love me that way, too." Sam made gagging sounds, but sheepishly stopped at the withering glare from Bethany. "So now there's one thing left to do."
Sam's eyes went wide. "You're not about to -"
Freddie pulled a small velvet case from his jeans pocket. I felt ready to faint. Bethany looked so happy, it was a wonder she didn't explode. Freddie got down on one knee. "Carly Cheyenne Shay, will you marry me?"
Downstairs, Spencer sprayed his new Kiwi-lime protein shake blended with ever-so-sweet-and-salty sweet potato fries all over the computer screen.
On the set of iCarly, emotions were all over the place! Freddie felt nervous enough to piss his pants. Sam felt more shocked than if she'd survived the electric chair. Bethany was so happy, tears were making her mascara run. And I felt so excited I wanted to start belting out Britney Spears.
"Yes," I said. "Of course I will."
Freddie put the diamond ring on my left ring finger. He stood up and – on live broadcast – kissed me passionately.
"Well," said Sam, facing the camera. "That's all for today's show!" She looked at the happy couple still kissing. "And I guess we'll have to stick around until our tech geek finishes eating Carly's face."
"And just so you know," Freddie said as he pulled away – completely forgetting they were still live - "I'm not proposing just because you're pregnant."
My eyes went wide with shock. "You know about that?"
"Yup," said Freddie happily.
"How?"
"I saw a pregnancy test in your trash can when I went to use your bathroom last week. I knew there was no way in Hell Sam was pregnant."
"Damn straight," Sam muttered.
"And I remembered last month's activities that aren't suitable discussion in front of our guest." Bethany laughed. "And I did the math."
"Well," Sam said. "I guess the baby's outta the womb on that one."
"Thanks for the imagery, Sam," I said.
"Anytime."
Suddenly, Bethany stepped forward to hug me. "Congratulations, Carly."
"Thank you so much."
"And I'd better get going," Bethany said. "I've got a heat coming up next week that I need to practice for."
"We'll be rooting for you," I promised.
"Surf's up, dude," Sam pitched in.
"Thank you guys so much," she said, giving all three teens a big hug. Then she turned to the camera. "And thank you all for tuning in to iCarly today. See ya."
"Crap!" said Freddie, as Bethany turned to leave. "The camera!" He rushed over to shut it off. "My mom always watches –"
There was suddenly a loud BANG! as the studio door flew open. "FREDWARD BENSEN!!!"
Freddie's overprotective mother stood in the doorway, her face red as a fresh apple.
"Aw, crap!" Freddie whimpered.