In life, there are always loopholes. Thankfully, Aeron and I found one.
Dad gave my phone back to me before school that Monday, reminding me that if he found out I'd been talking to Aeron that it'd be his until I could afford to get my own. One upside to his warning was that it was a great incentive to work harder. If I wanted to try to make money with my designs, I had to take it seriously. Thankfully, with my dad being a lawyer, he was able to help.
"Fashion isn't an easy path to take, especially in this area," Dad said. "If that's what you want to do, though, there are steps that need to be taken, such as labeling. You need to come up with a name and logo and register it with the Patent and Trademark Office." He seemed happy that I was motivated, but that's only because he had no idea why.
Until I could get my own phone, Aeron changed his number. That way, if Dad is somehow tracking my calls, it wouldn't raise any flags. Aeron is now Allie in my contacts, which is another good friend I go to school with. I know if dad sees a message from her, he won't think anything about it. I made sure to fill her in, just in case.
"You're still Allie, I just added your last name, so I'd know which one was which. I hate doing that, but...."
"Girl, I don't blame you," she said. "A guy like that would make me sin, too."
I laughed, even though I didn't like how that sounded. The reason I didn't like it was because it was true. Since meeting Aeron, I'd fornicated, lied to my parents multiple times, and been deceitful. That wasn't Aeron's fault, though; he just happened to be the guy that brought that out in me.
We've figured out a way to talk every day, but it's still difficult trying to find a way to see each other. Of course, like the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, love finds a way; or maybe it was life. Whichever one it is, we found a way.
It's harder to steal moments during the week, but the weekends are a little easier. I continue to spend the night with Haley, sometimes, like I always have, but will sneak out and spend a few hours with Aeron. All I have to do is leave my phone at her house and make sure she answers it if my mom calls so she can tell her I'm in the shower. Haley has Aeron's number if she needs to message me but, so far, hasn't had to.
Something else I learned to do is sneak him into our house. Yeah, it sounds extremely risky, and I guess it kind of is, but those nights are my favorite. Having him lie beside me in my bed, leaving his scent behind after he leaves, is perfect. And since I've always shut and locked my door at night, there's no reason for my dad to question it.
We have an alarm, but I'm the one who sets it on the weekends, since Mom is at work. She's a nurse and has always kept a weekend shift so she can be home with me during the week. That's another reason I don't worry too much, because she is the light sleeper. The only way Dad would know Aeron is in our house would be if he happened to walk out of his room for some reason in the middle of the night as we're walking by.
At first, I thought the alarm would be an issue, but it isn't. When I go to set it, I press some buttons so he thinks I set it but won't really set it until Aeron leaves. If he ever happens to wake up, I'll just tell him I had a bad dream about an intruder and wanted to double check it. It's too easy, really.
Tonight is one of those perfect nights. Dad called and said he won't be home for supper, that he has to work late. Mom is at work, too, since it's Friday, so I told Aeron to come over early. I know when Dad comes home that he'll check on me once and then go straight to his room, so I'm not worried about him thinking anything is up.
Coming earlier means he'll get here while it's still daylight. Usually, he parks his car on the back road that runs behind our house and will walk through the woods and across our back yard. He can't do that this time, though, so Garrett had to pick him up at his truck and drop him off here so it wouldn't look suspicious to anyone. That way, his truck will be there when he leaves.
Aeron gets to my house around six, which is when Dad usually gets home. Since he said he's going to miss supper, I figure he'll get home around eight or so.
"So, we probably have a couple of hours all to ourselves," I tell him. "What would you like to do?"
"Well, I came straight here from work, so I could really use a shower." He grins as he walks toward me, causing me to smile and walk backward until my back is against my bedroom door. "Do you need a shower?" He puts his arms on each side of my head as he leans his face close to mine.
It feels like hundreds of dormant butterflies come to life inside my stomach. "Um, I took one this morning, before school."
Yes, we've had sex, but it was under blankets or with some of our clothes on. We've not been completely and totally naked together out in the open, which a shower calls for.
"I'm thinking it will feel really good to take another one, though, don't you?" he asks as he kisses my neck.
"Um...." He makes it hard to think rationally. "What if my dad comes home? We won't hear him."
"You'd be in the shower." His breath makes me shiver. "Nothing odd about that. Even if it was, I don't think he'd come barging into the shower while you're in there, do you?"
"No."
"But I can take one alone. I've done it every day of my life." He kisses his way up to my mouth, but I stop him.
"Have you?"
He looks at me. "Have I what? Taken a shower every day?"
"No, have you taken one alone every day?"
"Yeah." He raises his hand to my face. "I know I was your first, but you're my first in a lot of ways, too."
"How many girls have you been with?" It's the first time I've ever asked him, even though I've always wanted to know.
"They don't matter, now."
"They?" Great, it's more than one.
He drops his head before looking back up at me. "When I was sixteen, I went out with a girl who... well, she wanted to. I'm a guy. I was sixteen. I know that's no excuse, but I had no reason to tell her no."
"Who else?"
I can feel the intensity in his stare and have to look away, but he pulls my face back toward his. "I dated a girl before you, before I moved here."
I wait, but he doesn't say anything as he continues to stare at me. "Is that it?" I ask hesitantly.
"No."
My heart sinks. I never realized I could be so jealous of someone I don't even know. I have to share that part of him with these girls and I don't even know their names, don't want to know. Actually, I'd heard enough.
"I don't want to hear about any more," I admit.
"Yeah, you need to hear about this one."
I shake my head, feeling disgusted, at this point, like I'm just another girl on his list. There's no way I want to know exactly how long that list is.
He ignores me. "Yeah, you do because she means more to me than either one of them. She's the one who's made me question everything. Who I am. Why I'm here. My past. My future." He lowers his head and sighs before kissing me.
When he pulls away, I open my eyes. "I really hope the she you're talking about is me."
He laughs. "It's always you. After the last few months, it feels that way. Like it always has been and always will be you." He drops his arms from beside my head and pulls me to him, hugging me tightly. "I love you so much it hurts. It really does. I never thought...." He takes a deep breath but doesn't say anything else.
"I love you, too."
He kisses me again. "I'm going to take a shower, if that's okay with you."
"Sure, go ahead." I'm still overwhelmed by the feelings he just dumped on me.
"I'll make it quick." He grabs the small backpack he brought and heads into my bathroom.
"Oh, leave the door unlocked, you know, in case Dad comes home and I need to come in there."
He grins at me. "Will do."
When I hear the water turn on, I think about what he said. Sometimes, loving him hurt me, too, but in a good way. Like when the Grinch's heart grew and it seemed to hurt and scare him to death, all at the same time. That's how it feels.
I hear my shower curtain close and know he's totally naked. I haven't seen him, or anyone besides myself, for that matter, completely naked, at least not in person. I know Aeron will look really good naked, though, since I've gotten glimpses here and there, just not all of him at the same time.
I swallow hard as I stand up and walk toward my bathroom door, debating on what I should do. Part of me wants to hop right in there with him, but another part of me wants to stay clothed. With my hand on the doorknob, I think about everything he said. I can't base my decision on what he thinks or how he feels. I have to base it on myself. How do I feel? What do I want?
I slowly open the door and walk in, locking it behind me. When I turn back around, Aeron is peeking around the curtain at me.
"Do you need something?" he asks with a smirk on his face.
I shake my head. "Nope, just seeing if you needed help washing your back."
He laughs, licking the water off his lips. "Sure, want to come in here and do it—" he pulls the curtain back and turns around, fully exposing his backside "—or stay out there? Because you know I'm okay with either one." He holds my shower pouf up over his shoulder, like that's the real reason I came in.
"Okay."
I take it and start scrubbing his back, admiring how muscular he is. He's so toned that it makes me a bit jealous. I guess instead of sitting on my butt while I work, since I sit on it all day at school, too, I need to get a table I can stand at; maybe do some squats in between each panel I cut.
"That feels pretty good. I've never had anyone wash my back."
"I'm sure your mom has." I laugh when I realize what I said. "I mean, not like this, of course." He doesn't laugh with me. "Okay, I think it's clean."
He turns around and smiles as he takes the pouf from me. "Thanks." He shuts the curtain back.
I have two options. I can strip down and just go ahead and join him, or I can go back in my room and make sure Dad doesn't get home earlier than expected.
Choosing the safest and least embarrassing option, I walk back into my room. I just can't imagine myself taking a shower with him, knowing what would happen. Sex had been awkward enough lying down, at times, so I can only imagine how standing up would be.
It's not long before he comes out, looking just as good in his clothes as he does out of them. He walks over and sits his backpack inside my closet, like he always does, and turns around and shakes his head really fast, causing water to sprinkle down on me from his hair.
I can't get over how hot he is and the fact that he's mine.
"You can use my hairdryer. It's in the cabinet beside my sink."
"Nah, it dries fast."
When he lies down beside me, he smells a little girly. "Aw, I won't get to smell you when you leave because you smell like me."
"Well, I could leave my shirt for you to sleep with. It might be a little dusty, but you could shake it out over the tub."
I wrap my arms around him. "Yeah, do that."
"Okay, I will." We cuddle in silence for a while and when his breathing slows, I think he's fallen asleep, but he hasn't. "When are you gonna make me something to wear?"
"What would you like?"
"I don't know. I like t-shirts."
"A t-shirt. I think I can handle that."
"But you need to wear it, first, so I can smell you in it." He nuzzles down into my hair, kissing my neck. "It'll be my favorite shirt."
Shortly after that, he does fall asleep. I love that he's comfortable enough to do that with me. As I listen to him breathe, I make sure not to fall asleep, myself. Yes, my door is locked, but who wants to wake up to my dad beating on my door while Aeron sleeps beside me in my bed? Not me.
Of course, the next thing I know, I'm waking up to someone knocking on my door. "Yeah?" I shake Aeron until he wakes up and point toward my door.
"What are you doing?" my dad asks. "You're not sick, too, are you?"
I mouth, "Get in my closet," to Aeron as I get up to open my door, waiting until he's completely hidden before opening it. "No, I just fell asleep," I admit truthfully. "What time is it?"
"It's a little after eight. I brought some take-out home if you're hungry. It's on the bar."
"Okay, thanks," I mumble as I yawn.
"Are you not going to Haley's tonight?"
"No, she had to work, so I'm going tomorrow, I think. I don't know. I've got a romper to make."
He smiles. "I'm glad to see you're getting your focus back."
I shrug. "It's either get my focus back or get a real job."
He turns and starts walking down the hall toward his room. "You can make fashion a real job if you treat it like one. Set hours. Give yourself deadlines. Invest the time." He stops at his door. "I'm still not one-hundred percent and today wore me out, so I'm turning in early. I went ahead and set the alarm, so you don't have to worry about it."
Great. "Thanks." I walk past him and head toward the kitchen. "And thanks for the food. I'd hug you but don't want your germs all over me."
He laughs. "Good night."
"Good night, Dad. Love you."
"Love you, too, sweetie."
I feel bad as I walk to the kitchen. Dad has been nice and brought me food, even though he's sick, all while I hide a boy he despises in my room. What a great daughter I am. Well, he'll understand, one day, when I'm an adult and making my own decisions... alongside my husband, who is hiding in my closet. Dad may not like it, at first, but we're meant to be together. I can feel it and, after tonight, I know Aeron feels it, too.
I get a glass and start to pour grape soda into it but remember Aeron doesn't like it, so I choose Dr. Pepper. Surely, he'll like that. If not, he can get water from my bathroom.
Grabbing the food off the counter, I head back upstairs. As I walk by Dad's door, I can barely hear his TV. He always watches it at night, which Mom usually cuts off once he's asleep. Since she's not home, he'll end up leaving it on all night, which will help muffle the sound of having to disarm and arm the alarm when Aeron leaves.
I walk in my room and shut the door, locking it once I sit the food down on my desk. "There's enough for you," I say.
Aeron crawls out of my closet. "I didn't think you were ever coming back," he groans. "Both my legs are asleep."
"Why didn't you get up and stretch them?"
"Because your dad came in here and I wasn't sure if he'd come back and was afraid to make any noise."
"My dad came in here? What did he do?"
"It sounded like he was snooping around in your drawers. I couldn't see him, though, so I'm not sure."
"Well, that's good to know."
He takes a big bite of grilled chicken and rice. "Mm, I was starving."
"You're always starving."
"So, your birthday is a month away. What do you want me to get you?"
"Oh, it is just a month away. I forgot."
"You forgot your own birthday?"
"No, I just forgot that it was so close. Mom will probably start planning my party, soon."
"Wonder if she'll invite me?" I give him a look, knowing he knows the answer, already. "We can celebrate after," he says with a wink. "You never said what you want, though."
"I have you. That's all I need."
He rolls his eyes. "I didn't ask what you need. I asked what you want."
"Well...." I take a bite of food, knowing he won't let it go until I answer him. "Oh, there is something I want."
"Okay."
"Do you think you could make me a table? A tall one so I can work standing up?" I immediately think of how perfect his butt looked in the shower. "I mean, if it's not too difficult."
He smiles from ear to ear. "I think I can handle that. If you can make me a t-shirt for no reason, I can make you a table for your birthday."
The rest of the night is spent whispering in my bed, talking about nothing and important things, all at the same time. At some point, words turn to kisses and kisses turn to more. It's nice to have to be quiet and take things slow so we won't be heard. Unlike the back of his truck, this is more intimate. The only bad part is when he has to leave.
"I don't want you to go," I whisper against his neck.
"I don't want to go." He raises himself up on one arm. "One day, I won't have to."
There goes my Grinch-like heart, again. "I'll make sure to hold you to it."
"You won't have to hold me to it. I'd marry you, now, if you were old enough."
"Just another year," I remind him.
"And a month."
"And a month," I agree, hoping the next year goes by fast.
He kisses me one last time before getting up and putting his pants back on. Instead of getting up and putting my clothes on, too, I watch him. Standing in the light that comes through my window, wearing nothing but jeans, he's stunning.
"You're beautiful." It sounds stupid, saying it to a guy, but it's true.
He lies back down on top of me. "I'm getting the feeling that you're wanting round two."
I laugh. "No, round one was sufficient."
He kisses me, again. "Sadly, I need to go."
"I know," I sigh as I get up and slip my panties back on, not bothering with my pants.
When I turn around, he's watching me like I had been him and quickly grabs me, pulling me onto his lap. "You're beautiful, too."
He wraps my hair around his hand and holds on to it, kissing me for a long time. As he continues to gently pull my hair and his hands slide across my hips, which are practically bare, I wonder where this is going to lead. We've never done it two times in one night, but he's already proven there's a first for everything.
Before it gets to that point, he slows down and lets out a soft moan. "I love you, but I gotta go."
"I know."
I get up and wait on him to gather his things and get his backpack before opening my door. He always walks out, first, just in case my dad is awake and hears someone in the hall. That way, if he opens his door, he'll only see me. Once he starts down the stairs, I quietly follow.
He kisses me bye before I enter the code to disarm the alarm. "You look really hot in nothing but a t-shirt," he tells me as I punch in numbers, causing the alarm to beep once.
"Hurry, you need to go." I kiss him and shove him out the door. "I love you," I whisper.
"I love you, too," he whispers back as he runs down the sidewalk and disappears behind the house.
I hurry and shut the door, re-entering the code to reset the alarm, causing it to beep, again. To waste time, I go into the kitchen and pour a glass of grape soda. When I return to my room, Dad's door is still shut, his TV still on.
I sip my soda as I walk into my room and shut the door, locking it behind me. Glancing at my clock, it's 3:29. I know it'll take an act of God to get me up in the morning, but it was worth it. He's always worth it.
As I head toward my bathroom, I notice something on my bed—Aeron's shirt. I pick it up and take it with me to the bathroom, shaking it out over the tub, like he'd suggested. Once the sawdust is off, I press my face into it, breathing him in like he's still wearing it.
I finish the last few sips of soda and brush my teeth, spitting purple suds all over my sink. I pop my birth control pill out of its pack, which I'd been on for a couple of years because my periods felt and looked like my insides were being ripped out every month. As I start to swallow it, I think about what Dad's reaction would be if I got pregnant. He'd have to accept Aeron, then, since he'd be the father of my baby.
What am I thinking?
I swallow it, taking several swigs of water, and go to bed, pushing all thoughts of being pregnant out of my head, since my mom has always said, "What you think about you bring about." I know that's not what she meant, but still.
A little while after lying down, my phone lights up. I'm home. Love you
Love you too
And that's how our days go for the next month. The weekdays are spent going to school and working, never really getting to see each other. The weekends are ours, though, or at least the nights are. I wonder if they'll be like that even after we get married, which we've talked about more than once. I hope they are—not just the nights, but the days, too. It's hard to envision life any other way.
Even though I've known Haley my whole life, I feel almost as close to Aeron as I do her. Yeah, she's my best friend and there are certain things I can only share and do with her, but there are also things I can only share and do with Aeron. He's become my best friend, too.
At the end of the month, though, nothing will ever be the same. In a matter of seconds, I'll be awakened to a truth that will shatter my dreams. Sadly, it will happen on my birthday—a day that I wish never existed.