Rose felt her heart shatter, even as she struggled to wake up, the final memory falling into place. Bad Wolf and the Tardis had bought her back to the Prime Universe, back to the Doctor. But why hadn't she just bought the Doctor back to life? She felt her heart shattering as she thought of the light going slowly out from the eyes of the man she loved, of destroying the entire Earth in her grief. No wonder her memories had been blocked. Even now, even after going through some horrific things in this war, it was nothing compared to losing him.
Her eyes snapped open and she found herself strapped to a chair. She looked wildly around and saw the Doctor slumped in his own chair, still asleep. And then she noticed the Daleks. There were about four, each with their plungers glued to a screen they were positioned in front of. She looked wildly around and her eyes widened at the two glass casing. Just like the ones that housed those mutants she had seen earlier. This was not good. Were they really going to try and convert her and the Doctor? She pushed against her restraints, but it was no use. She was held firmly in place.
"Doctor!" she hissed.
He moaned low in response. "Doctor! Wake up! Wake up now!" she hissed even louder. She was relieved when he stirred and then his eyes snapped open, taking in his surroundings. She saw his face go ashen as he realized what was going to happen. One of the Daleks moved forward and started to levitate the chair and the Doctor in the direction of the glass casing.
"No. Stop!" he shouted, struggling against his restraints. The glass casing opened up and the Doctor was levitated inside and the casing started closing around him slowly. He looked at Rose with helpless eyes.
In that moment Rose saw the Doctor as his face morphed into that of her Doctor, the human one. She remembered the light going from his eyes, the helplessness she saw in their depths, knowing he couldn't do anything to prevent what was to come. She had watched her Doctor die and now she was going to watch this Doctor die as well.
She screamed out loud as the pain that she had suffered came to the surface and golden light burst from her, swirling around her in a powerful torrent, making her a goddess once more. She couldn't hear anything over the howling of the Vortex flowing around her. All she saw was the Daleks and willed them to dust. Her binding disintegrated around her and she floated up into the air, hovering as she saw all around her. Tears streaked her face as thoughts of her human Doctor, and the pain and heartbreak doubled inside of her. A burst of golden energy exploded from her, turning every Dalek on the ship to dust. She could give herself over to the power, let it consume her and make her forget everything. She could become a vengeful goddess. She could turn this war to dust. It would take a lot of power and might even destroy herself in the process, but it would be worth it.
She distantly heard a distraught voice shouting through the din, almost muffled. She slowly turned her head and looked down at the Doctor, his face contorted with fear and anguish.
"Please, Rose. You have to let go. Come back to me, Rose. Please, come back to me," he pleaded.
She looked into his eyes, the golden fog slowly fading ad saw that he was not afraid of her, but afraid of losing her. And that thought was like a slap in the face, waking her from this fog.
She felt the golden power stop swirling and shimmer in place, before violently being sucked back into her. She dropped to the ground and the Doctor caught her in his arms, lowering them both to the floor and cradling her as she sobbed.
As she clung to his lapels and sobbed into his chest, she heard him murmur, "I'm here, Rose. Please, my love, talk to me."
She didn't think she could form any coherent words through her heartbreak so she lifted her head slowly and drew his hand to her head, resting his fingertips against her temple. His eyes widened as he realised what she was silent urging him to do. She gave a small nod, tears blurring her vision. He drew his other hand around as she sat in his lap and rested his fingertips against her other temple and closed his eyes.
She felt him enter her mind, almost gently and she shoved the memory at him, making him gasp. She relived the scene again as he watched and finally he pulled away.
She broke down as fresh sobs wracked her body, her forehead resting on his chest. His arms tightened around her protectively as he cradled her. She was broken and she didn't know if she would ever be fixed again. Exhaustion finally took over and she passed out in his arms, wishing with all her heart that it were the arms of her human Time Lord, the man she would never see again or share her life with again.
She awoke in a strange room, the lights dimmed. Memories of what happened flooded her senses and she felt like she was going to drown in her sorrow and heartbreak. She had always considered herself a strong woman, but now she felt broken, an empty shell.
She felt strong arms pull her closer and she felt the Doctor whisper from behind her. "I'm here, Rose."
She blinked back the tears. Yes he was here, but not really. He would not give himself to her and now she felt that she could never give herself to him. Her shattered heart belonged to her human Doctor.
"Where are we?" she asked. She needed a distraction.
"My bedroom."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes, I figured that. Are we on Gallifrey?"
"No, we're in the Vortex. I figured we all needed a rest before heading back to Gallifrey."
She turned in his arms and looked at him. His eyes were tired, his face so serious and worn down. He was still remarkably handsome. Her face softened. Yes, she could still see her Doctor in those grey-blue eyes. The same, but not the same. She needed to stay focused. Anything to push those memories deep into the abyss of her mind.
"Cinder?"
"Safe. She's asleep in a room the Tardis set up for her. She was fighting off the Daleks trying to come in and rescue us. I haven't told her it was you who destroyed the Daleks."
Rose nodded. "Well, she is gutsy, I'll give her that." She turned and climbed out of bed, making her way to the bathroom without a backward glance. She quickly showered and when she came out the Doctor was gone and the bed was neatly made with clothes for her laid out. She quickly changed into the black jeans and green tank top and leather jacket. She hastily laced up her black military boots and tied her hair up into a messy ponytail. She looked in the mirror. Her smooth skin belied her age. But her hardened and tired eyes told the truth. She had seen too much, been through too much. There was no more innocence left in her. Her eyes were starting to look like the Doctor's. She steeled herself. They had a war too fight. She could no longer afford to wallow in her grief. She now had to be strong and tough. And as she walked through the door to head to the console, she briefly mourned her youth.
She found Cinder in the console room, dressed in her usual attire. The Doctor was flipping levers. Rose spotted the Temporal Cannon resting on the console and made a wide berth. She didn't want to go anywhere near it. The Doctor glanced up at her and she saw sorrow reflected in his eyes. But he quickly looked down. It looked like neither was going to address the issue and she was fine with that. She really didn't want to relive that again.
"Right, back to Gallifrey. We need to take this to Romana immediately."
Rose nodded and grabbed the edge of the console, preparing for the rough landing. They landed and Rose turned to go towards the door, but a strong hand gripped her wrist forcing her to turn and face the Doctor. After everything they had been through he had always been strong, and even times that were unbearable, he wore a mask, hid his emotions. But now, now grief and sorrow were etched on his face. What she had shown him had truly affected him and she felt her resolve disintegrating, her heart breaking all over again. It was hard to be around him. He was a constant reminder now of what she had lost.
He cupped her face and whispered in a voice hoarse with emotion, "I'm so sorry, Rose."
Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears and she silently nodded. He leant down and kissed her tenderly, pouring all his love and heart into that kiss. And she felt the tears fall on her cheeks, whether it was his or hers she couldn't tell. And she kissed him back, but this kiss was full of grief and longing. They pulled back reluctantly, the present situation calling to them both.
Rose turned and saw Cinder watching them with a quizzical look on her face. Rose wiped the tears from her face, too tired to even feel embarrassed by their public display of affection. The Doctor picked up the Temporal Cannon off the console and strode to the door, holding it open for her and Cinder.
They entered the office of Romana, but nobody was there. "Romana!" the Doctor called out. Rose had an uneasy feeling about all of this. The door burst open and a Time Lord strode in, robes billowing behind him. He was tall and muscular, his skin a dark bronze. His black hair was cut short and his blue eyes narrowed on the Doctor.
The Doctor tensed at the sight of him, his face looking none too pleased at the sight of the other man. "Karlax," he greeted stiffly.
"Doctor," he replied, his tone bordering on hostile.
"Where's Romana?"
"Romana is no longer President."
"What! Since when?" Rose demanded, ignoring the warning look from the Doctor.
Karlax turned those steely blue eyes on her. She could see plainly that he had no liking for her, probably due to her association with the Doctor, whom she could tell he did not like in the least. "Since Rassilon was resurrected and has been elected President."
Stunned silence greeted his news. They hadn't even been gone a day. How was this possible? "And where is Romana now?" she finally asked.
Karlax shrugged. "I do not keep track of her whereabouts. She was asked to step down and she did so."
Rose looked at the Doctor, trying to gauge if he somehow knew. But he had on his neutral mask again. Which was not a good sign. Rose had a feeling she would have to mourn the loss of her good friend as well when this was all over.
"Then I seek audience with our Lord President. I have a matter of the utmost importance to discuss with him," the Doctor intoned smoothly.
"Everything is of the utmost importance in this War. Why should your news be any more important than that of others?" Karlax countered with a sneer.
The Doctor narrowed his eyes and stepped forward. "When I say it's important, you of all people should know that it's important," he said in a low voice.
"And I know from past experience that your word means nothing."
The Doctor lost his temper and threw the Temporal Cannon at Karlax who caught it clumsily. "If you don't believe my word, then believe my evidence. That is a Temporal Cannon taken from a Dalek ship on Moldox."
Karlax looked at the weapon in his hand, and turned it over, studying from a new angle. Finally he looked up at the Doctor and said in a bitter tone. "Rassilon is in the War Room. Follow me." He handed the weapon back to the Doctor and took off at a fast pace, not bothering to look back to see if they were following him.
"He doesn't like you much," Cinder remarked, pointing out the obvious.
"It's...complicated."
"So just another day in your life?" she replied ruefully.
The Doctor smirked. "Indeed," he replied dryly.
They came to a set of huge wooden doors engraved with the circular designs that Rose knew to be the Gallifreyan language. Karlax effortlessly pushed them opened and entered the cavernous room decked out with ornate chairs of red and gold set in a semi-circle. The circle of chairs faced a dais where there were several more chairs. This must be where the President and the High Council sat during meetings, Rose thought. The seats on the dais were occupied with Time Lords, each pointing and discussing something that was laid out on the heavy obsidian table before them. They looked up at the intrusion of their meeting.
Karlax bowed and stood straight. "Forgive the intrusion, Lord President, but the Doctor has returned with a matter of great importance to discuss with you."
A tall man strode forward and there was no doubt in Rose's mind that this was Rassilon. He radiated power and authority. He had short cropped brown hair that was peppered with grey. His blue eyes were so pale they almost seemed translucent. He wore a red robe adored with gold. He cut a rather handsome figure, if his face wasn't set with arrogance and disdain.
He stopped in front of the Doctor, but his eyes studied Rose and Cinder. Rose held her breathe, but stood tall and unmoving under his scrutiny.
"I have been told about your exploits, Doctor, as well as your wolf. She is quite powerful. Could be very useful in winning this war."
"You would be foolish to temper with such a power," the Doctor said mildly, though the threat was thinly veiled.
Rassilon gave a small smile, which deepened the dimple in his chin. "Yes, I heard what she did to Narvol. Quite impressive. Tell me, was she responsible for what happened on Moldox?"
After a beat the Doctor replied. "Yes."
Rassilon's eyes twinkled. He walked around the Doctor and came to stand in front of Rose. She met his stare dead on, though her clammy palms belied her nervousness. "You turned those Daleks to dust, Miss Tyler. Quite a feat for a mere human."
Rose blinked but remained still, trying to figure out where he was heading with this. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Cinder startle, openly gaping at her. The Doctor had turned around and was watching the interaction with tension, though he remained silent.
"Tell me, Miss Tyler, you fight alongside the Doctor so therefore I must assume that you are on our side. You could destroy all the Daleks in a blink of an eye."
"Her powers are limited. Housed in a human body. If she overexerted it would mean her probable death," the Doctor interrupted. "She has part of the Vortex running through her, not the absolute power of the Tantalus Eye."
Rassilon remained silent, staring intently into her eyes. Then he turned smoothly towards the Doctor. Though he acted as though he had forgotten her, Rose knew that given the chance he would gladly sacrifice her in an effort to win the war. He was biding his time, waiting for a chance to get his hands on her. Rose knew right then that Cinder was right. The Time Lords were willing to do anything to win this war.
"You have news, Doctor?" he queried.
The Doctor handed him the Temporal Cannon. "On Moldox, we infiltrated a Dalek ship and I found information that they plan to harness the Tantalus Eye and use it to erase Gallifrey from history."
There were gasps and murmurs from the other Time Lords. The Doctor continued. "That is a Temporal Cannon. I witnessed it being used to erase people from history. They plan to use a larger scale weapon."
"Are you certain of this?" Rassilon asked.
"Absolutely."
Rassilon looked at Karlax with an unreadable expression and then handed him the weapon. "Lock that away in the vaults." He then turned to the Doctor. "We must discuss this matter further and formulate a plan to stop the Daleks. I must ask that your companions wait here."
The Doctor looked like he wanted to protest, but he simply nodded and followed the others through a door on the other side of the room.
Rose let out a breath and went to sit on one of the chairs. Cinder followed and sat next to her.
"Well, that was intense," she said.
Rose let out a bitter laugh. "He's creepy, isn't he?"
"Yeah. I don't trust him. He's ruthless. And cunning."
"That he is," Rose agreed and shuddered at the way he had looked at her.
"Did you really turn those Daleks to dust?" Cinder asked after a pause.
Rose sighed. "Yeah, but like the Doctor said, my powers are limited. It totally exhausts me using it."
"That's why you were passed out when I found you and the Doctor. He had to carry you all the way back to the Tardis."
"He's stronger than he looks. I wouldn't worry about it too much."
"Maybe. But even though you're not on the big side, dead weight is still dead weight."
Rose had to agree with her. She was so lost in her thoughts of the Doctor, that she didn't notice a shadow fall over them until she felt the sharp prick of a needle on the side of her neck. Everything went instantly black.
Rose awoke with a start in a small room. It was dimly lit with no windows and only one door. She was lying on a simple bed with just a pillow and sheet. She sat up and groaned as dizziness overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes and took deep breathes, willing it to pass. Her thoughts were fuzzy and jumbled. What had happened? Then she remembered and fear flooded her. She stood and raced to the door, trying the handle, but it was firmly locked. She was a prisoner. She pounded on the door and screamed for them to let her out. She wasn't surprised when no one came.
Her head was aching and she went to rub the back of her neck to relieve some of the tension and froze as she felt a thin metallic band fastened around her neck. She frowned. What in the blazes was a collar doing on her and what the hell was it for? She had an inkling of an idea. She closed her eyes and concentrated, willing the power of Bad Wolf to the forefront. She opened her eyes and looked down at her hands. Instead of a swirling power, her skin merely shimmered a golden hue. Well, that explained it. Whoever drugged her also wanted to keep her powers at bay. They wouldn't dare try to harm her, knowing full well what she was capable of. To physically hurt her or enter her mind would still unleash the power, though only by direct contact. The collar was meant so she couldn't lash out, escape. And there was only one reason for that. Cinder.
Her pulse quickened and she started banging earnestly at the door. What were they doing to her? She knew there had been something to the look Rassilon had given Karlax. But what did Cinder have to do with it?
She heard the lock give way and she yanked the door open, ready to give a physical beating to whoever was on the other side. She stopped when she saw the Doctor, sonic screwdriver in his hand. His mouth was set in thin line, anger emanating from him. Relief flooded his features and he pulled her onto a tight embrace. She pulled back and said, "Cinder. We have to find her. They drugged me and I woke up here and I have no idea what they are doing to her."
The Doctor's eyes flared. Then his eyes darted down and saw the collar on her. He stooped a bit to peer at it, running a finger over it. "My, they certainly aren't taking any chances. It's an inhibitor, a device to keep your powers...subdued."
"Yeah, I figured that. Can you get it off?"
He held the tip of the sonic against the collar and a few seconds later the collar clattered to the stone floor. She rubbed her neck, though truth be told she had hardly noticed it there.
"Better?"
"Much. Thank-you. Where do you think they've taken Cinder?"
"I don't know. I really don't have a clue as to why they would want her. I thought their interests would have been in you. When I had returned and found that you two were gone I thought that they had surely taken you and were experimenting on you. I can't tell you what a relief it was to find you here and not in a laboratory."
"You think they would be stupid enough to try that after Narvol?"
They had started walking at a fast pace down a corridor. "They're desperate. I wouldn't put anything past them."
"What happened with Rassilon? What did he want to discuss with you?"
His pace quickened. "They intend to stop the Daleks, but it would mean the destruction of a solar system. Billions of lives."
"What? They can't!"
The Doctor replied bitterly, "In Rassilon's own words: what are the lives of billions is it means winning this war."
"We have to stop them."
"I intend to just as soon as I find a certain fiery redhead."
They came to the doors of the War Chamber and the Doctor barged in. "Where is she?" he demanded, his eyes settling on Karlax and a few members of the War Council. He advanced on the Time Lord, who stood his ground against the Oncoming Storm.
"We had to verify that you were speaking the truth," he stated.
"Where is she?" Rose snarled, advancing on the man, feeling satisfied when he took a step back. "I don't need my powers. I'll rip you limb from limb."
Karlax swallowed hard, internally debating on what to do. Finally he strode to a door and pushed a panel, making the door slide open. On the floor lay an unconscious Cinder, her red hair fanned around her in a fiery halo. The Doctor and Rose rushed to her, kneeling on either side of her.
"Cinder?" the Doctor called gently. She moaned and her eyes fluttered open. "What did they do to you?"
She blinked a few times, a frown marring her face. "They...they strapped me to a bed and placed this helmet on my head. I started seeing all my memories."
"A mind probe," the Doctor explained. He stood and with indescribable speed and strength he threw Karlax against the wall, holding him there with his forearm pressed against his throat. Karlax struggled, but the Doctor's hold was too powerful.
"You used a mind probe on her! You could have killed her! What the hell were you thinking?" he shouted.
Rose flinched at the raw outburst that was so uncommon for this version of the Doctor. She had always thought of this him as a pacifist, a soft-spoken man who avoided conflict whenever he could. To see him lose control and actually resort to physical violence was alarming.
"We had to be certain that what you were telling us was the truth. We had to see for ourselves," Karlax choked out.
"Was my word not enough? Do you honestly think I would lie about something like this?"
"Put him down, Doctor, or I may be forced to intervene," came the deep baritone of Rassilon.
The Doctor narrowed his gaze on Karlax, but he stepped back, the other man sinking to his knees and rubbing at his neck. He glared up at the Doctor, his eyes full of venom and hatred. Rose helped Cinder to stand up, her arm around her waist to steady her. Cinder had her arm flung over Rose's shoulder, her face pale and pinched. The fact that she didn't protest the help meant that she was in pretty bad shape. Rose shuddered to think what she had gone through.
"What is the meaning of this, Rassilon? Was my word not enough?"
Rassilon inclined his head. "Of course it was. We just needed a visual of what actually happened."
"She could have died!"
Rassilon didn't look the least bit concerned. Instead he said, "We have a war to fight. That includes you. I have given you your orders, Doctor, and I expect you to obey them."
The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Careful, Rassilon. War changes a man, and that includes me."
With those words he went to Cinder and Rose and helped her carry Cinder out the room. They made it to the Tardis and he placed Cinder in the Med bay. Her coloring had returned and she insisted she was fine, but he still insisted on a neural scan.
"I'm going to send us into the Vortex. Keep an eye on her, please," he asked in a harried voice.
She nodded her assent and he strode quickly out the med bay, leaving Rose alone with Cinder. "How are you feeling?" she asked, coming to sit in a chair next to the bed.
"Plotting my revenge. So they couldn't have done much damage if I can still hold a grudge," she replied with a wry grin.
Rose grinned back. Then her smile fell. "I'm so sorry, Cinder. I failed in keeping you safe."
Cinder patted her hand. "They were crafty. You fell like a ton of bricks as soon as they injected you. There's nothing for you to be sorry for. There's nothing either one of us could have done against such a sneaky attack."
Rose nodded. The Doctor strode back in, scowling. He went over to the screen and read the neural scan readout. "Well, Cinder. No brain damage."
Cinder rolled her eyes. "I could have told you that. Can I get up now?"
"Yes, of course," he replied, extending a hand to help her off the bed. Rose smiled fondly at the gesture. He was rather the gentleman in this incarnation. He caught her looking at him, but instead of smiling back, his eyes deepened in sorrow. Her smile faltered. Then her memories came crashing back and she hurriedly looked away, hiding the tears shimmering in her eyes. Her heart clenched and she took a deep breath, pushing the emotions deep down. They had to stop whatever plan Rassilon had concocted. She straightened and took another deep breath and turned to go to the console room, but stopped dead when she saw the Doctor watching her from the doorway. Was he really going to confront her now? She didn't think she could deal with a heart to heart with him right now.
So she plastered a smile on her face and asked, "Shall we go and stop Rassilon?" She tried to walk past him, but he swiftly stepped in front of her, blocking her way.
"Doctor," she warned, her heart hammering in her chest.
"Do you wish I was him?" he asked in a low voice, almost casual.
She blinked and then shook her head. "I'm not doing this now."
"Now is as good as a time as any. We might not survive this battle. The end is nearing. I can sense it."
Rose swallowed hard. "We'd better get a move on, Doctor. We don't have much time."
"Prophetic words, Rose Tyler. And that's why I'm demanding my answers now."
She shook her head again, crossing her arms over her chest. "No. Now move it."
"No? Are you telling me no?" he asked darkly, those bedroom eyes darkening. Rose felt her pulse speed up and instinctively back away. He followed her until she was backed up against the wall. "I think I have a right to know?"
"I will not answer that question," she replied stubbornly.
He slammed the palm of his hand against the wall by her head, making her jump. "Answer me! Do you wish I was him?"
She knew he was referring to the human Doctor. Anger flared up in her. How dare he try to tarnish her memory of the man who loved her with every fibre of his being? How dare he demand a comparison, when there was no comparison?
"No," she admitted quietly, and confusion flooded his face. "He was you, yes. But he was so much more. He gave me everything. His heart, his love...his life. That's something you'll never be able to give me and to try and replace him with you would be...sacrilege." Tears spilled down her cheeks. She felt so hollow and empty inside.
He reeled back as though she had slapped him, hurt plain in his eyes. He deflated, closing his eyes painfully. "I wish I could give you all of that, Rose," he whispered.
She stepped forward and grasped his hand, giving him weak smile. "Me too. But fate has never been kind to either of us."
He caressed her cheek and she closed her eyes. He snatched his hand away and she opened her eyes to see him school his features. "Right, let's go and stop Rassilon."
He held out his hand and she took it.