Hi everyone! The Secret Life of Malia Dallas, is getting closer towards the end. I have already finished the book, I am just putting up about a chapter a week. I know I have been gone for so long that I have lost a lot of my readers, and I don't get to see all of your guys' comments anymore. It makes me a little sad. I know I took a really long time to update, but I started this book when I was in a dark place and all alone. I have a much healthier life, and I decided to not leave it unfinished. If there is anyway that my readers now could try and encourage others to read this book please do! I know it's not perfect, but I think a lot of people will find they are able to relate to Malia.
Also, my new book "The Roommate", I have been working on it. Around 7 chapters are published as of right now. I have written 14 chapters, and I am working on the 15th. I already have the whole book outlined, so that overtime I don't lose my place. I decided to take it a little easier in terms of classes for the remainder of the school year, and I will be able to work on it a bit over the summer. After I finish The Roommate, I probably will be gone from writing for a bit because college is very demanding, and as much as I love it, I don't want to start new projects and let you guys get attached only for me to not be able to finish.
Maybe every now and then I will publish a oneshot. I might get back onto my tumblr and do more of the imagines that are still piled in my inbox. I might even compile all those imagines and put them into a wattpad book so it's in one place for you all to read.
Anyways, I hope you all have enjoyed this book as much as I have. It's been up and down, but I am happy that I will be able to finish it for you all. THAT BEING SAID THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. THERE ARE STILL A COUPLE MORE CHAPTERS TO GO DO NOT WORRY Y'ALL!!!
ENJOY
Chapter 57: 11 days
Malia's POV
I woke up early the next morning because today was the day of gramps' funeral. I got dressed in my black dress. It was very simple, it had thick straps, fully covering each shoulder and it poofed out a little bit. I slipped on my black lace up heels before I put my hair into a simple but elegant bun and grabbed my black Chanel purse. With the way I was dressed I felt like I was going to a black and white ball rather than to a funeral, but I wanted to look nice for Gramps, I hadn't seen him in a while. I didn't apply any make up yet because the funeral wasn't until later so I was going to delay putting more stuf on my face.
I made a cup of coffee before pouring it into a tumbler and leaving a note for Cam. I fed Jaxx and said goodbye to him before getting into my car and texting Ari I was on my way. I got to her house at around 7:20am and she greeted me with a huge hug.
"Hey Mals! How have you been?" She asks as she pulls me into her house and I smile.
"I've seen better days," I tell her honestly with a sad smile and she gives me this look of sympathy. I mean I know she doesn't want to give me that look but she can't help it. I mean what else are you supposed to say? I mean you have to be really close to someone to be able to say "that sucks" and not get punched in the face because of your lack of sensitivity. But Ari knows what it is like to lose a grandparent so I don't care.
She takes me into her kitchen where her mother is sitting drinking a cup of coffee, reminding me that I will have to take my tumbler inside the house and wash it when I get back home. Ari goes up to her room to get the track and Joan and I chat while she is gone.
"Ariana told me you went to see Lily, how was that?" She asks with genuine interest and I make myself comfortable on the stools as I talk to her.
"It was quite relaxiing actually, it was really nice to not have to worry about being seen in public or having to worry about anyone taking pictures of me, I mean somebody probably did but I wasn't really thinking about it that way so overall it was nice to just have some genuine alone time with my best friend," I tell her animatedly with a nostalgic smile.
"Sounds like you learned a lot," She says knowingly and I nod. "Ariana goes to see Lexie all the time and I actually encourage it because it's good for her, she loves her arianators but she can only take so much and I like to surround her with her family and friends, it helps to relax her," She says as if she were a teacher and I were the student. I listened intently though. Joan was extremely easy to have conversation with, I didn't see her as an adult, she was like a mentor, someone who had been through life and learned it all, but came back to teach the younger generation about it. That made no sense whatsoever but that's how I saw her.
"Got it, I think you're really going to like it, also here is the guys' copy they didn't get a chance to stop by and pick it up so you can either mail it to them or give it to them when you next see them, but I feel like you will be seeing them before I do," she says as she hands me three copies of a CD. I smiled as I took them all and gave her one last hug before bidding my goodbyes to the both of them and climbing back into my car to drive back home.
I arrived home at around 8:16am I brought my tumbler in and rinsed it in the sink. I put the Jacks' copies of the CD in my room and wrote a reminder/note to myself to give it to them or mail it to them. I knew they wouldn't be up yet because it was still early for California. I decided to go downstairs and hang out with Jaxx for a while before Cameron woke up. I didn't eat a lot for breakfast because Cam, Grammie, and I were planning on going out to breakfast.
"Hey Jaxx," I said in my puppy voice as I came down the stairs. He saw me and he got up from where he was lying. A huge smile appeared on my face when I saw him. You can't not smile when you look at him he just lights up your world. He ran up to me and he jumped up. The nice thing about Simberian Huskies is that they don't shed. I let Jaxx out into the backyard and played a bit of fetch with him, despite being in a black dress and heels. Hey the best exercise is dancing in 5 inch heels, said by Ariana Grande. Or something along those lines. After about 30 minutes of playing with Jaxx I heard the back door open and Cameron came out. I stood up straight and looked at him. He was still in his pajamas which consisted of just sweatpants. He gave me a sad and remorseful look, like it was his fault we were going to a funeral today.
I slowly walked away from where I was standing and made my way over to Cameron. Once I reached him I put my arm around his shoulders and pulled him in for a side hug and just laid my head on his shoulder to the best of my ability. Cameron put his arm around my shoulder as well and we just watched Jaxx run around our yard, It was kind of like time stopped at that moment, everything was surreal all over again. We were just two normal kids playing with our dog in the backyard. We didn't have Nafians and we weren't about to go to our grandfather's funeral. We were just two teenagers, well young adults living a normal life.
But that's not the case,
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Cameron came down the stairs wearing a nice black suit and tie. I gave him the same sad smile he gave me this morning when he came out the back door.
"Ready to go?" He practically whispered it. I nodded as I slipped the CD case into my purse and grabbed Cameron's hand as we walked to the car. We drove Cameron's car because I wasn't really in the mood to drive anymore.
It was only 9:00am and we were meeting Grammie at the restaurant.
When we got to the restaurant Cam spotted grammie and we made our way over to her. I gave her a huge hug, considering I hadn't seen her since it all happened. I sat down next to her while Cam took the seat across from the two of us. We were served quickly, probably because the waiters/waitresses noticed our all black attire and felt bad for us.
But breakfast was delicious.
We drove separately to the funeral, but even if we had driven together it would have been quiet. No one really wanted to say anything, for fear that they would say the wrong thing. I just wasn't really in the mood for talking.
When we got there we sat down in our seats and the ceremony started. Cameron and I had been asked to prepare a eulogy for our Gramps, Cameron had written most of it, because he was in town at the time and actually was aware of it. Because I was away and didn't really check my phone I didn't know about it until it was too late and I just couldn't find the right words.
But then again, can you ever find the right words to explain how amazing a person who you expected to be in your life was and then suddenly their not. You can never find the right words no matter when you write the eulogy, no matter how many times you say it or read it out loud, it just never sounds right.
I think that's why Hazel doesn't read from her paper at Gus' funeral. Even though she read the eulogy to Gus when he asked her to write it, she didn't feel it was right, because nothing ever is right. There is never a right moment to do something, there are never the right words. Nothing is ever fully right you just have to accept that, and then maybe at least part of you will feel right.
It got to my turn to speak and I stepped up to the podium next to Cam. I could see the words on the paper but I knew I wasn't going to read them. I looked at the coffin where Gramps lay before I looked at the sky. I took a deep breath trying to keep my breathing steady.
"I remember my gramps would read me bed time stories," I started out. "Well bed time story because even though they had this huge book full of, what I thought was all the stories in the world, I only ever wanted to hear one story. Of course it was about a princess. Well a spoiled princess and a humble maid servant. They end up switching places because of a ring and the humble maid catches the eye of the prince and they ride off together. But one night my gramps wanted to read me his favorite story. I remember that at first I was a bit bummed but I listened anyways because a story is better than no story, right? The story was about seven brothers and they each had a super power, all their super powers were different. The king of the kingdom they lived in continuously tries to trap them throughout the story but he always builds the wrong trap or chamber for the wrong brother and they always manage to escape." I paused for a moment and looked at the people. They looked at me like I didn't know what I was talking about but they weren't going to say anything because this girl just lost her grandfather. I continued on though. "One of the last things my gramps said to me was to no matter, never give up and to never let anyone get me down. The story about the seven brothers, while they had super powers, they never let anything stand in their way of freedom. I don't have their super powers and I may not have my gramps anymore but I know he is till here watching over Cam and me. I have my family and friends as my super powers and they are all I need to get through it all." I walked over and laid the white rose on his coffin and I let a small tear slip, I didn't rush to wipe it away, in fact I urged it to fall. And when it did I watched it hit the ground and splash onto the dirt, leaving it a bit darker than before. It's a little bit like the world when someone leaves, it seems a bit darker when they leave but the sun will come out and dry it all up.
"I made a promise to not let you down and to continue on with my life no matter what and I plan to fulfill that promise Gramps. I wish you were here to see it but I promise I'll tell you all about it when I see you again," I whispered as I stepped away. I wanted to wait for everyone to leave to play the song but I made sure that I got my time in to talk to him,
I watched as one by one everyone came up and paid their respects, leaving a white rose on the coffin. It was quite beautiful actually. The white roses. I used to hate roses, I thought they were so cliché but white roses I find quite elegant and beautiful.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After everyone had left and they had lowered the grave into the ground Cam, Grammie and I stayed behind.
"Malia did you want to play the song now?" Grammie asked me softly. I nodded. I had downloaded the song onto my phone because I wasn't about to bring a CD player. I took out the CD though so I could show Gramps the cover.
"See Gramps I told you I would let you hear it. I haven't even heard it yet, so we are listening to it for the first time together," I say with a sad smile, remembering when he told me that he desperately wanted to hear the song. I started the song and I kind of laughed at how the beat of the music didn't fit with the depressing mood that had taken over the Dallas Family today.
When the song finished I blew one last kiss to Gramps before walking back to the car with Cam to give Grammie some alone time with him.
Cam drove Grammie home and we helped her make lunch. While Grammie lost the love of her life she was still an optimistic person and she wasn't about to let it ruin her day. We set the fine china out and everything looked pristine. I couldn't not take a picture of how beautiful it was. I posted it to instagram with the caption: my grammie is so strong. Today was gramps' funeral and rather than mourn the loss of him we are celebrating his life with a beautiful lunch. Missin you gramps.
I put my phone away and helped Grammie carry the food over to the table. We said a prayer and then we began to eat.
Lunch was uneventful except for the occasoinal small talk. Even though we managed to sit down for a nice meal it wasn't like we could just pretend that nothing was wrong. It had been a little over a week and it was still pretty fresh in my mind, but I made gramps a promise and I intend to keep it.
** ** ** ** ** **
The next few days passed by uneventfully but I was really missing Matt. I haven't seen him since I left and with gramps' funeral and all it just makes me feel more lonely without him here with me. Jaxx has been a real comfort. He'll sometimes sleep in my room with me. Other times he will sleep with Cameron but it's nice to have Jaxx there to comfort me. He is a great dog. We took him to meet Grammie the other day. I am really excited for the boys to meet him, although I don't know when exactly that will be.
The Maze Runner is coming out tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited to see it. Cameron is taking me to see it because he knows how much I love it. I had stuck to my word and kept up with school and everything and I am really excited about my photography project but I can't start that until Magcon starts up again. Speaking of photos Bryant sent me my photoshoot pictures and he even posted a couple. I just haven't had the time to look through them all and to post them and everything.
It was a bit rough catching up on school and everything especially since this is my junior year but have managed my time well. I haven't filmed a video in a while and I feel like I should. Even though everything seems to be on track there's something misssing. I'm just not having as much fun as I used to. It's all starting to feel more like tedious work than fun and I don't want that.
I guess I just miss my nafians. I hopped off of my bed and went over to my laptop and opened it up. I went to twitter.
@MaliaIDallas: I miss you guys so much. I miss seeing all of your faces and talking to you all.
I dmed with a couple of them and liked and retweeted some of them. I hadn't done a vine in a while. Vine really wasn't my thing. I mean I guess I could be funny but I wasn't as creative as the boys. Most of my vines were either their idea or me singing.
I was in one of those moods where I wanted to do something productive but I just couldn't bring myself to. I decided to face time Lily. I was doing it on my laptop though because I didn't want to have to hold my phone. Lazy I know.
"HEY GIRL! How is life?" She says enthusiastically causing me to laugh.
"Life is okay, I just feel so unproductive lately and like don't know what to do with myself," I tell her honestly.
"I hate those moods, because you just feel like you're so ungrateful when you just can't bring yourself to do anything," She says.
"Yup, so how is your life going?" I ask her.
"Pretty good I'm going to see the maze runner tomorrow," She says with a smile.
"Haha oh my goodness me too! Cam is taking me," I tell her.
"That's so funny," She says with a laugh. "How is school?" She asks.
"Boring, but it keeps me busy," I tell her.
"Yeah, hey when is the next Magcon?" She asks.
"Um I'm not sure." I lean over as if it will help me before shouting Cam's name, "CAM!"
"YEAH?" He replies.
"WHEN IS THE NEXT MAGCON?" I ask him.
"UM...OCTOBER 3-6 IN DALLAS!" He shouts back.
"THANKS!" I return to the screen and repeat what he just said.
"I heard him the first time," Lily says as she picks at her ear like I just blew her ear drum and I just rolled my eyes.
"Why do you want to know?" I ask her.
"I don't know just something to say. Have you talked to the guys much?" She asks.
"Not a lot, I talk to Matt every day though. I really miss him and I sound needy and all but I really miss him," I whine.
"You do sound needy but it's a cute needy," She comments.
"Thanks," I say sarcastically.
"You're welcome," She says with a big smile.
"Ugh I like want to do something but I have no idea what I want to do. And I like want to do it with people but everyone is home and Cam is doing whatever he is doing," I complain then suddenly it hits me. "Oh my goodness I just remembered something!" I exclaim.
"What?" Lily asks extremely interested.
"The kids a couple streets down play street hockey," I tell her excitedly as I hop off of my bed and quickly change into black leggings and a white tank top. I throw my hair into a ponytail and slip on my nikes before kissing Jaxx goodbye and saying goodbye to Lily.
"CAMERON I'M GOING FOR A WALK!" I shout to him and I hear a muffled 'okay'. I stick my phone in my leggings and begin to jog down a couple streets that I had so long ago. I heard the familiar sound of roller skates on asphalt and smiled, making my way over.
"Well, well, well if it isn't the famous Malia Dallas," Jake said skating over to me.
"You sound like you were expecting me," I say with eyebrows raised.
"No actually slightly surprised, there are a pile of skates and pads over there suit up you're on my team," He says as he points to the pile of equipment.
"Yes sir," I say mockingly before I make my way over to the pile and put it all on. I grab a stick and get into position as left wing.
Let's play
** ** ** ** **
It was a fun game and I let out a lot of steam that I didn't know I had bottled up. I mean I should probably tell Cameron where I actually went but he probably wouldn't have let me. But I have hung out with them twice now so I mean it's safe to call them friends at least. Not good enough friends to give my number to but friends.
"Hey do you mind if we all take a picture of the winning team?" I ask them and they get huddled up together and one of the other players on the other team takes our picture. "Thanks," I say to him before putting my phone back into my leggings.
"Well it was nice playing with you guys again, I'll see you around," I tell them with a smile as I put the skates and pads back. They wave goodbye and I begin my walk back to the house.
I wanted to post the picture to instagram but I was going to talk to Cameron first before I did so I could avoid getting yelled at. I walked in through the front door and went up to my room. I took off my shoes and then I made my way to Cameron's room.
He was lying on his bed just going through things on his phone.
"Just so you know I went and played street hockey with the same guys I played with a month or so ago. Don't get mad okay. They're nice guys and I didn't give any of them my number they are just guys I play street hockey with," I say quickly before he has time to get mad.
"Alright," He says after he exhales and then I let out a sigh of relief. I quickly left and went back to my room to take a shower before he had time to say anything else.
When I finished my shower I pretty much just put a big t-shirt on and then I crawled into bed. I picked up my phone and posted the picture to instagram with the caption: street hockey game on point ;)
I knew the nafians would question it and stuff but I mean I really didn't have to worry about it because we just play street hockey that's it. Nothing more.
I decided to play with Jaxx for a little bit before I went to sleep so I walked downstairs. When Jaxx saw me he got all excited and ran up to me. I laughed as I knelt down and scratched his ears and under his neck.
"Come on Jaxx let's watch a movie," I said to him as I went to the kitchen and got out some left over pizza from last night, which I was kind of tired of. Jaxx followed me over to the couch and lay next to me. I turned on the tv and started scrolling through Netflix movies to see what to watch. I decided on Keith which I had seen before. Jesse McCartney is so adorable in this film and it's one of those dark romance movies that don't end how you expect but I still like it. I started the movie and relaxed on the couch with Jaxx there to keep me warm.
** ** ** ** ** **
I don't know when I fell asleep but somehow I did because I was awoken by a slap to the face and shaving cream in my nose.
"Thanks Cam," I said rhetorically as I wiped off the shaving cream. I looked up to see that he vined it and I wasn't surprised. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel and wet it, to wipe the rest of the shaving cream off.
"Now that you're awake get dressed because we are going to see the maze runner," He says with excitement.
"Why are you so excited?" I ask him.
"I'm just glad to be getting out of the house," He says and I couldn't agree with him more. Even though I went out yesterday it would feel good to get out again.
I went up to my room and quickly brushed my hair then I pulled on some denim jean shorts and a loose grey tank top with a pocket. I then slid on my white high top converse and grabbed my phone. I hurried down the stairs forgoing makeup for today.
"Let's go!" I said excitedly when I came downstairs. Cam got up from where he was sitting and we both said goodbye to Jaxx.
We got into Cameron's car and he drove to the theatre. I was snapchatting as we walked in.
"We are about to see the maze runner and I am so excited! I loved the book and Dylan O'Brien is a god!" I said excitedly. Once we got our tickets and we bought the snacks we needed Cam and I found a place to sit. I was getting really anxious about the movie because I was worried that it wouldn't stick to the plot line.
(SPOILER ALERT)
Throughout the whole movie I was extremely frustrated because half of the stuff didn't even happen and it just made me so upset how they showed everything. I thought it was still cool and all if you read the book it's just frustrating. (END SPOILER ALERT)
"I thought it was good," Cameron said as we walked out.
"You clearly didn't read the book," I told him. The same thing happened with the Giver, they twist the plot and all. Independent of the book they are very good movies but the books are so much better.
It was only 11:03am when we got out of the movie so Cam and I decided that we would stay out for a bit and do some other things, since we hadn't done very much. We walked around before deciding where to eat for lunch and then we drove back home.
Jaxx hadn't been on his walk and I wanted to go running, to keep up my almost four pack and so when I got home I changed into athletic shorts and a sports bra.
I took Jaxx with me and started running down my usual route. At around 2:30pm I got back and took a shower.
I decided to go on twitter and update my nafians a bit.
@MaliaIDallas: I saw the maze runner today then Cam and I went out for lunch before I took Jaxx on a walk/run haha
The nafians absolutely loved Jaxx and went crazy whenever Cam or I posted a picture of him.
I then saw Matt's face appear on my computer screen because he was face timing me.
"Hey," I said with a smile.
"Hey," He says back. "You saw the maze runner how was it?" He asks.
"Did you ever finish the book because I don't want to spoil it," I tell him.
"I did finish it," He says.
"Well it's almost nothing like the book which is frustrating but it's not a bad movie," I tell him.
"Okay well I will be prepared when I go in," He says with a laugh.
"Yeah I was like 'that didn't happen' throughout the whole movie Cameron kept hitting me to keep me quiet," I said.
"I miss you," Matt whined.
"I miss you too," I replied. Whenever Matt was sad he got these puppy dog eyes that were the cutest thing ever and just melt my heart and it makes me sad. "I can't wait to see you in 11 days," I tell him. All the guys were flying to LA to meet up on September 30 before we all flew to Dallas for the next Magcon event a few days later.
"I know I can hardly wait," He says. "I have already started packing I just want it to be here," He says as he shows me his suitcase and I laugh.
"You're like me but I haven't started packing yet," I tell him. "Maybe I should start?" I question out loud.
"Yes I can help you," Matt says excitedly and I laugh.
The rest of the day I spent talking to Matt about anything and everything as I packed. I really missed him. Once I finished packing Matt and we hung up because he had to go.
I went downstairs and started cooking dinner because I did not want any more pizza or take out. I made the curry that I made for the boys when I cooked for them in the hotel and Cam and I ate dinner together while talking about all the plans for Magcon.
After dinner I washed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher before I went upstairs to my room. I was scrolling through twitter on my phone when I saw a tweet from Matt.
@TheMattEspinosa: 11 days
I quickly replied to his tweet.
@MaliaIDallas: @TheMattEspinosa 11 days
I then put my phone on its charger and closed my eyes just imagining the day that the guys get here and I get to see them all. (Just pretend that Shawn's tour dates are kind of weird and in my control lol)
What do you think of this chapter, could you tell I was feeling a little bit lazy haha. I am really excited to finish this book so that I can start on Kari's story because I have a lot of ideas. I also have so many other separate story ideas I can't even haha.
xoxo
-micaela (simplicational's queen)