Eeva couldn't recall a single moment when she had been more terrified of her life than spending her wedding night with her husband. Alone and helpless.
Husband.
The word tasted foreign in her tongue and repulsive to even mutter out loud for only her ear to catch alone. It made her sick in her stomach so she forced to gulp down the rest of her thoughts.
A new chapter of Eeva's life had already begun and now she was realising, the other half of her life before marriage was just an echo from the past. When her father had handed her over to her new husband, her old life had stopped existing all at once and put it on a shelf for only the purpose of remembrance.
Her body shuddered thinking about what her husband would do to her tonight. Alone and completely at his mercy. Her heart was drumming in her chest so hard it ached, and her mind was restless, conjuring all the probable circs that could befall her? Would her husband be a gentle, patient lover? Would he stop if she told him to or would he use his force to get what was promised from their union?
The bedsheet plastered to her sweat licked skin on her back and fresh beads of moisture swelling at her hairline. Fear slithered its way up her arms and legs, seizing her heart in its vice grip. Eeva struggled but she couldn't breathe. It felt too much effort to inhale and exhale. Suddenly, the air felt suffocating, her lungs expanding, demanding for its fill.
Eeva jumped out of the bed and sprinted into the adjoining bathroom. Opening the faucet, she filled water into her cupped hands and splashed it over her face a few times. She gulped a mouthful of water from the running tap. The cool liquid passed down her throat jolted her senses to action and brought her out of her dazed state.
Eeva returned to the bedroom, pacing alongside the bed knowing full well there was nowhere to hide, nowhere to run from her awful fate. Even if she screamed at the top of her lungs for help, the guests strolling in the garden wouldn't even bat an eye.
The quicker she would come in terms with her life, the faster she would learn how to survive in her new life. Because there was no way out of this marriage, especially in their customs and families.
Once you were in. You were in until death claimed you first.
Eeva got up on the bed and lie down, waiting for her husband and doing her duties as expected and demanded from her.
She cranked her neck over to her side, to peer at the clock rested over the stack of books on the nightstand. It was difficult to see in the dark what time it was but she was certain it was way past midnight.
And her husband would be here soon as promised.
When the newly married couple made their way through the crowd saying their goodbyes to retire for the night, a few men urged her husband to join them for a few drinks in honour to celebrate his marriage. Her husband was reluctant to leave her side but when someone mentioned something about business, her husband easily agreed to stay behind. The business was of utmost importance in their life. When there was money involved, nothing could beat it. Eeva didn't complain. She was glad to have a few more minutes to herself to calm her erratic heartbeats and finally took a breathe alone, away from the prying eyes.
But her husband's parting words and her lust-filled gaze still resounding in her ears and chilled her down to the bones, Strip off your gown and wait for me in bed. If you fell asleep, I will still fuck you.
And so here she was, waiting for her husband just like the way he had commanded, under the canopy of whispering puffs and over the red silk.
Eeva was jittery and shaky. Rest was a distant notion in the back of her mind, but her body couldn't fight its natural inclination. Her muscles were strained with tension bubbling underneath. The longer the time stretched, the more her eyelids started to droop, begging her to surrender to her primal need.
The nervousness she breathed in the past few days, mingled with her tiredness, numbed her emotions letting a steady tranquil flow coursing through her body. But she knew better than falling asleep.
Eeva was so drowned in her thoughts, she didn't notice when the stillness had stirred inside the room, invaded by another presence. Her body responded almost instantly when a muffled thud hushed by a soft click.
Her husband didn't miss her flinching, her body grown taut and coiled against the unknown violence
"You...awake? I thought..." Her husband's surprise was dimmed by the slurry edge in his voice, gulping down the last few words.
His coat was neatly draped over his hand. His tie was loosened around his neck. Collar undid and a thatch of chest hair peeking through the next few buttons of his creased shirt. He tossed the coat aimlessly onto the floor and approaching closer to the bed.
Her husband for once lost his confident gait, swaying from foot to foot, his drunken haze pulling him backwards. He snatched the support of the nearby chair and dragged himself to straighten his spine.
Eeva fisted her nightdress at her sides, letting the material stretched over her thighs. Lying down on the bed, her eyes reaching out farther, noting the shimmery snowflakes she had hand-painted over the sheer fabric draping over her head, trying to put her senses out of misery and into oblivion.
The pale glow smattering the room from various light fixtures on the wall giving her enough time to react and mould herself as needed.
The mattress groaned under his weight as he crawled closer, eating up the spaces isolating him from his bride. Eeva dared to steal a glance, only to be mortified by his eyes creeping along the length of her body and rested over her panty clad pussy.
Her husband uncurled from his crouched stance, positioning him on his knees. His height demurred against the canopy and got trapped into the tangled drapes. He let out a frustrated grunt and shuffled around, struggling against an inept foe.
His limbs outstretched, clutching a handful of the filmsy fabric and straining to get free. A cry ripped apart in utter protest, tearing the fabric into shreds. Clumsily overlapping, dangling without a purpose, partly obscuring her from his brutal gaze.
Her husband without a warning bent down and feeling her up. Hands aggressive. Mouth attacking. His breath reeked of alcohol and tobacco, jumbled with his saliva dipped tongue making criss-cross patterned over her chest, dangerously slipping towards her cleavage.
Eeva rolled her head up. Lips tightly pressed together and turned away into an unwelcoming gesture. And her fingers numb, pushing against his chest almost without a force.
A piteous cry. Strangled request.
Her husband was relentless. Either he didn't care or he was too drunk to misread her intentions and continued his assault.
His hands squeezing her flesh on her hip, crushing to her bones. Teeth nipping at her exposed skin and tugged hard. Eeva jerked in pain and gasp in shock.
Eeva didn't know when things got escalated and he started grinding his erection over her bared thigh. She was grateful that he didn't discard his clothes right away after entering into the room. But she knew it would be only a matter of time before her husband snatched and forced upon her, what was promised to him and deemed fit on their wedding night.
The sickening thought rose bile in her throat, she forced it down before it threatened to spew out. Eeva was glad that she didn't eat anything at dinner besides a few scraps of meat and spoonful of her wedding cake.
His uncivil, rough hands tugged her nightdress down but in his intoxicated haze, it must have been too much effort so he decided against it. He yanked the slip and tore off the frail satin strap.
His hands trailed lower, exploring further, biting into her naked flesh. He gripped her breasts over her bra in a painful hold and struck with a punishing pinch.
Eeva squirmed underneath him and struggled to get free from his crushing weight. Her palms face against his chest and with every bit of her strength, Eeva shoved him away, knocking his head to the nightstand.
She gasped in shock. Fear glistening in her tearful eyes.
Her husband groaned and grumbled in his slurred tongue. Eeva held her breathe and bit down on her lip. Expecting a furious response.
But nothing.
Seconds ticked to minutes and after an awful stretch of time, deep steady snores vibrating through his body, cutting the silence of the room.
Eeva was relieved and beyond happy. Her lips parted and curved in a peep of a grateful smile. She couldn't believe her eyes that she got lucky somehow. But she knew very well it was once in a lifetime shot. Not repetitive in nature. Non-negotiable.
Eeva scolded her drained mind and reminded herself one day at a time. She couldn't worry herself thinking about tomorrow when she already had enough of today and the after-effects of the past few weeks.
Eeva jumped out of the bed, dumped her torn nightdress and slipped into a nightshirt and pyjama bottoms. She crept over to the couch, plopped down on her ass, facing the bed. She didn't shut down her eyes. Stayed wide awake in alarm that somehow her husband would wake up in the middle of the night, he ripped apart her virginity and forced her to consummate their marriage.