Sci-Fi Smackdown Round 2: contestants had to choose a story from the trash list and classic list and mash them together.
Stories chosen: 50 Shades of Grey & The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.
Word count: 5, 386
But I am warning you right now, I do not do sex scenes and completely skim over that side of it, though it is implied/mentioned.
Warning: if any of these things offend you do not read - references to sex, orgasms, and certain body parts. Swearing. This story is tongue in cheek and VERY warped. As in strange and very wrong.
You can see by my story choice that this story won’t be appropriate for some readers. Consider yourself warned. The story is a bit rude as is the ‘means to the end’ in the storyline. It kind of got away from me and took on a life of its own but I guess that’s what happens when you mash up a story like 50 Shades of Grey with The Lion, the Witch and The wardrobe!
Oh – and the bits in bold are quotes from the original story.
* * * * *
The Gold-digger, the Black Bitch and the Playroom.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
“I don’t do the girlfriend thing.”
Christian Grey’s words ran through my head as we walked down the hallway of his impressive house. Boy was he loaded. I really had to change his mind about that girlfriend thing. How could I ever possibly hope to help him spend all his money otherwise?
I had been preparing for this a long time. Ever since my best friend and room-mate Kate threw me in the deep end when she sent me to interview the enigmatic CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings. Luckily he was totally hot. At twenty-seven he was tall, dark and handsome.
“And this, Miss Steele, is the playroom,” Christian stopped outside a closed door.
“Playroom?” I bit my lip.
Christian was staring at me, his eyes suddenly darkening. “You really shouldn’t do that, Miss Steele.”
“Do what?” I asked innocently.
“Bite your lip like that.”
“I shouldn’t?”
“No. You shouldn’t. You have no idea what it does to me.”
Actually I did, one look down there and I knew the power I had over him.
“So,” I bit my lip again, glancing up at him through my lashes. “When do I get to see the playroom,” and your check-book, I added silently.
“Once the contracts have been signed.” Christian was staring at my mouth.
“Contracts?” Damn – was this some sort of pre-nuptial thing? But for dating? Holy crap.
“This is the nondisclosure contract,” he said, staring at my mouth as he handed me the contract.
After I had signed it, I glanced up at him. “Are you going to make love to me now?”
“I don’t make love. I fuck.”
Oh my. I bit my lip again. Hard.
“I warned you miss Steele. Now I am going to have to fuck you.”
“You are?” Inside my inner financial goddess was dancing with glee.
“Yes. I am.” He grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me away from the door of the playroom. I glanced back, wondering when I would get to see the playroom.
“Anastasia,” Christian growled. “You are not to enter that room. Not without my permission.”
Boy. He really was bossy. He took this whole Dom-Sub thing very seriously.
As soon as we were inside his masculine bedroom, he pushed me to the bed. “Are you really as innocent as you seem, Miss Steele,” Christian sighed.
My inner goddess was doing her happy dance again. “It depends on what you mean by innocent.”
“You said you have never been with a man before.”
I nodded, casting my eyes down. I had heard the rumours about Christian and knew what he wanted. It was amazing what the wonders of plastic surgery could do. I was a virgin - a born again virgin. I mean seriously, did he really believe a twenty-two year old as hot as me had never been with a man before.
“I am going to rectify that situation right now.”
“What do you mean? What situation?”
“Your situation. Ana, I’m going to make love to you, now.”
“I thought you didn’t make love. I thought you fucked hard.”
“I can make an exception, or maybe combine the two. I’ve never had vanilla sex before. We can begin your training after that.”
“Vanilla sex? Training?” I played dumb.
His lip quirked, and I reached for him. It was time to get this act on the road.
Christian pulled back, suddenly angry. “You are not to touch me Miss Steele.”
Boy. He really was messed up. How the heck was I supposed to lose my virginity if I couldn’t touch him. “Why don’t you like to be touched?” I asked.
“Because I am fifty shades of fucked up,” he said. “I had a very rough introduction to life and don’t want to go into it.”
I filed away that little piece of information, letting my hands drop to my sides
He tweaked my nipples. Finally – we were moving forward. But I had no idea how to act innocent. So instead I faked my first orgasm with him. He truly had no idea, he might be fifty shades of fucked up, but I was fifty shades darker.
My inner goddess couldn’t wait to get to the good stuff.
He did me missionary style, and ................. I managed to fake a couple more orgasms.
Then he explained what he really wanted. About bloody time.
He handed me a bunch of papers. “I need to know how far you will go,” he said when I raised an eyebrow.
“How far?” I asked innocently, knowing full well I would go as far as he needed me to.
“I am a dominant, and I want you to be my submissive. A role I believe you will play well,” he said. “If you agree to further this – relationship – then there are rules you must follow. If you break the rules, then you will be punished.”
“Punished?” Oh my, he really knew how to turn a girl on.
* * * *
“So – how was it?” Kate asked as soon as I got home, a wicked gleam in her eye.
“He made me sign a non-disclosure contract.”
“You’re not going to let that stop you, are you?” she pouted.
“Of course not,” I grinned, sitting on the couch next to her and resting my head on her shoulder. I told her every last detail.
“Wow. I wonder what’s in the playroom?” Kate’s eyes were wide as I handed her all the paperwork.
I sighed. Exactly the same thing I wanted to know.
There was a knock at the door.
It was a courier, with a box for me.
Kate helped me rip it open. “Damn, it’s just a laptop,” I said.
“But you already have a laptop,” Kate said.
“He doesn’t know that,” I grinned, getting a great idea.
I was going to play a bit with Mr Christian Grey.
I sent him an email, Kate nuzzling my neck as she looked over my shoulder.
From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Shocked of WSUV
Date: May 23 2011 20:33
To: Christian
Okay, I’ve seen enough.
It was nice knowing you.
Ana
Kate and I were chuckling as we linked arms and headed for my bedroom.
“Shit. There’s someone at the door,” Kate said about twenty minutes later as she pulled her dressing gown on.
Then Christian Grey was standing in the doorway to my bedroom.
“What are you doing here?” I said.
“So, it was nice knowing me,’ he said darkly. “Did you mean in the biblical sense?”
I bit my lip. Next thing I know his tongue is inside my mouth, possessing me.
My little trick worked.
Christian and I spent the next few days sending emails back and forth. We agreed to meet on Wednesday.
On Tuesday night I dreamed about Christian. He was standing over me with a riding crop. Holy cow. He was invading my dreams. I better be careful with this one.
On Wednesday I told him about my dream. I knew it would do the trick. Suddenly he was all over me.
Once he was done, I said I needed to use the bathroom.
Really, the draw of the playroom was too much. I promised Kate details. I needed to get a look in that room.
I crept quietly down the hallway.
My hand rested on the door handle. I turned it. Damn. It was locked. Of course it was, I face palmed myself.
“Miss Steele?” an unfamiliar voice said.
I turned, trying to look innocent and lost. I had never seen the man standing at the end of the hallway before, but damn he was hot with all that golden hair.
“And you are?” I said.
“Jason Taylor.”
I nodded. Jason Taylor was Christian’s personal assistant. I forgot all about him.
“You won’t tell Christian, will you?” I asked.
The way his eyes changed when I said Christopher’s name, and Jason’s lack of interest in my scantily clad body made me realise two things. One – Jason Taylor was gay. And two – he was hopelessly in love with his boss, Christian Grey.
“No, I don’t think you will,” I purred, realising I had something over him if I needed it.
“Anastasia?” Christian’s voice was dark. I didn’t hear him approaching.
I turned, my face flushing.
“I am going to have to spank you now,” he said, dismissing Jason with a wave of his hand.
Oh my. Holy crap. I wasn’t expecting that!
Once he was done spanking me, he had his wicked way with me and the whole time I knew that Jason was out there somewhere, listening. And he wasn’t listening to me. Oh boy. What had I gotten myself into?
* * * *
After a few weeks, and still not getting a glimpse into the playroom, I decided it was time to take action.
“When do I get to visit this playroom of yours?” I asked Christian as soon as we had done the dirty. It was the best time to ask him questions I had learned.
“When I think you’re ready.”
“I’m ready,” I said.
Christian’s eyes darkened. “Don’t talk back to me Miss Steele.”
I bit my lip. “Are you going to spank me again? I’ve been a very naughty girl.”
“Yes. And then I am going to thoroughly fuck you.”
When we were done, I fell asleep. I woke up late in the night, and he was gone.
This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He often went missing in the night.
I fell back to sleep, waking a few hours later to knocking on the bedroom door.
The light was only just beginning to creep through the curtains. I glanced at the clock. Ugh – it was only five thirty in the morning.
I knew it wasn’t Christian knocking at the door. But who else could it be?
“Miss Steele?” It was Jason Taylor, and his voice had a slightly panicked note to it.
“Jason?”
He pushed open the door, his eyes frantic. “I need your help Miss Steele.”
“My help?” I said stupidly. I was still half asleep.
“Christian – er – he has gotten himself into a spot of trouble. In the playroom.”
“Playroom?”
“Must you repeat back everything I say with a question mark?” he snapped.
“Everything?”
He groaned. “Just come with me.”
“Christian said I couldn’t go in without his permission,” I said as Jason grabbed my arm, and pulled me towards the playroom.
“This is an emergency,” he squeaked.
“Emergency?” I was completely confused.
Jason growled at me.
I rolled my eyes as he unlocked the door, and then I finally got to enter the playroom.
It was nothing like I expected.
The wall on the far side had a powerful computer that was humming softly. In the middle of the room were four strange looking pods that looked like coffins. The lids were see through, and in the closest one I saw Christian. He was naked, and Jason was staring at his manhood, which was standing at attention. There was a panel at the end of the pod-bed showing his heart rate and who knew what else. It was beeping frantically. His eyes were closed, and he looked like he was sleeping.
But even stranger, in the pod beside him was a naked woman. There was a feeding tube in her nose. I recognised her from a photo Christian had shown me. She’d been his first encounter when he was fifteen. She’d been his Dom. I was about to learn that she was still trying to play that role.
“What is this place?” I said.
“The playroom,” Jason snapped.
“Duh,” I rolled my eyes again.
“It’s the latest in virtual reality. A place where people can safely act out their most secret desires.”
Christian groaned, and I went to his side, looking through the glass at him.
“He went in last night after you failed to fully satisfy him,” Jason smirked. “But he hasn’t come back out.”
I glared at him. “So? Can’t you just like – disconnect him or something?”
“You don’t understand,” Jason nodded towards the naked woman. “She has been there for nearly a month. He was trying to get her back out.”
“A month?” That was as long as I had known Christian. Was I just a substitute until he got her back? I was going to have to do something about that. I had worked too hard to get to that check-book to let some other bitch get her hands on it.
“What can I do?”
“You have to go after him,” Jason said, his eyes all worried.
“Go after him?”
“Yes. Go after him.”
“What happens if I don’t go after him?”
“Christian’s money is useless to you if he gets stuck in there,” he raised a brow.
Damn. Jason totally had me pegged. And he also had a very good point.
“Fine. I’ll do it. Do I have to take my clothes off?”
“Yes. The pod will monitor your body heat and other vital signs and let me know if you are in any danger.”
I stripped down as Jason pressed a button, and the pod next to the naked woman hissed open.
Holy crap. I climbed on, and Jason moved towards me. At least I didn’t have to worry about him perving on me. He could hardly take his eyes off Christian.
Jason reached into the pod, and pulled out what looked like a syringe attached to a tube.
“What are you doing?”
“I need to insert this.”
“Insert it? Where?”
“In your arm.” I winced as he pinched my skin, sliding the needle into my vein.
“So when I’m – er – in – what do I have to do?” I asked nervously. I hated needles.
“Find Christian.”
That should be easy enough. I just had to find him and tell him it was time to come out. “Fine,” I said.
“This is no game, Miss Steele,” Jason said. “You need to take it seriously. Christian won’t be easily recognisable, and he may not want to come out. Not if he has found her,” he sneered, jerking his head towards the naked woman.
“What do you mean he won’t be easily recognisable?”
“Like I said, this is a means to living out your wildest fantasies. Few people choose to – enter – as themselves.”
“What, you’re saying he won’t look like Christian?”
“That’s exactly what I am saying. He will appear as he wishes to appear.”
“So how will I find him? And what if he doesn’t want to come out?”
“That’s for you to figure out,” Jason said as he pressed a button and the pod started closing.
I tried to raise my arm, I had more questions, but whatever was in the needle was making me feel drowsy.
My eyes closed of their own accord. Holy crap, I thought as I felt myself floating on air, I had no idea what to expect.
My body felt so light, so weightless. Then I felt a pressure underneath me. I opened my eyes. I was in a bedroom, lying on a bed.
I climbed out of bed, taking in my surroundings. The room was quaint, filled with old fashioned furniture. Not the sort of thing I would expect Christian to fantasise about.
I got a shock when I stood in front of the old fashioned mirror on the stand.
I was wearing a long sweeping dress, cinched tight at the waist. It was white, innocent looking. My breasts were bigger than they should be, thrusting so far forward I couldn’t see my feet. My normally dark hair was now blonde, curling down around my shoulders.
Holy crap, I bit my lip. Was this my secret fantasy of myself, or Christian’s fantasy? I had no idea.
Well – it was time to get to it. I walked out of the room, and found myself in a house that was just as old as the room I had just left.
“Hello?” I called.
There was no answer.
I tried the front door but it was locked.
So I went up the staircase. I couldn’t believe how realistic this was. It felt like I was really there. I could feel the steps beneath my feet, the dress swishing about my legs.
Once I reached the top of the staircase I tried all the doors, but they were locked. Until I reached the one at the end. It swung in easily when I turned the handle.
The room was empty except for a large wooden wardrobe against the wall.
Not knowing what else to do, I opened the wardrobe. It creaked as it swung open, making me forget for a moment that this wasn’t real.
Inside, it was full of old coats and smelt of mothballs. I immediately slammed it shut. I hated moth balls.
A shiver ran through me, I was so cold all of a sudden.
I opened the wardrobe again, meaning to pull out a coat.
But the wardrobe seemed never to end.
Confused, curious, I pressed forward into the dark wardrobe and I suddenly got it.
Christian had said he was fifty shades of fucked up from his childhood. Was he reliving it through his fantasies?
The surface beneath me changed, and something crunched under my feet as I went further into the wardrobe.
Snow fell softly on me as I entered Narnia, and I moved towards the lamp I could see glowing ahead of me.
There was a dark shadow hurrying towards the woods carrying parcels.
I chuckled. Mr Tumnus, the famous faun.
“Hey you,” I shouted. “Mr Tumnus.”
“Mr Tumnus dropped his parcels in fright, turning towards me before hurrying off.
“Hey wait. Aren’t you meant to like – offer me tea. After all, I am a daughter of Eve.”
“Shh,” Mr Tumnus hissed. “These are dangerous times for us menfolk. And even more dangerous for the daughters of Eve.”
“What are you talking about?” I chuckled.
“Quickly,” he grabbed my arm, pulling me along, the parcels forgotten.
Over tea, he glanced at me sharply. “So, you claim you are a daughter of Eve,” he said, narrowing his eyes as he studied me.
I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. “Of course I am. I am Anastasia Steele.”
I see his lips quirk up.
“Are you laughing at me Miss Steele?”
“I wouldn’t dare,” I reply with mock seriousness.
“I think you dare, and I think you do laugh at me.”
“You are quite funny”
“Funny?”
“Oh yes.”
“Funny peculiar, or funny ha-ha?”
“Oh, a lot of one and some of the other.”
“You really shouldn’t do that,” he stared at my lips.
One glance down told me exactly why.
“You ought to take this seriously,” he said, leaning towards me.
“Take this seriously?” I backed away. “I’m talking to a faun.”
“Faun,” he hissed. “Don’t be ridiculous. Do I look like a faun to you?” he stood up, and I glanced down again. No, he definitely wasn’t a faun.
“I’m a satyr,” he scowled. “Fauns are for children, and you are no child. The black Bitch is not one to be trifled with,” he said, advancing towards me with lust in his eyes.
“Black Bitch?”
“Yes. She rules these lands and she doesn’t take kindly to intruders. Especially intruders as sexy as you.”
Oh my, I really needed to get out of here. Before he – er – had his wicked way with me.
“See you,” I said.
“Wait. You can’t leave,” he said, pulling a mobile phone from somewhere.
Holy crap. He was just as bossy as Christian.
I pushed the door open and ran as fast as I could, evidence of the Black Bitch all around me. There were signs everywhere, pinned to the trees, offering an enormous reward for the capture of any daughters of Eve.
The snow crunched under me, sinking through the little white slipper shoes I was wearing.
Then I heard a bell tinkling.
Damn. Hadn’t Mr Tumnus betrayed Lucy. Is that what he was doing with the phone?
A moment later coloured flashing lights descended, reflecting off the snow as a small silvery space pod descended.
The pod hissed open, revealing a woman dressed in a skimpy black dominatrix outfit. She had black hair and her lips were bright red.
I gulped.
“Come, come,” the woman said, flipping a long black whip in my direction.
The whip wrapped itself around me, as though it were alive, and she pulled me towards her.
“You don’t need to be afraid, child,” she laughed throatily. “Here, have some Turkish Delight.”
“I hate Turkish Delight,” I said as she pushed me into the seat beside her.
She thrust her impressive breasts forward. Her breath was hot on my ear as she whispered, “how about some chocolate then?”
Holy crap, she was as gay as Jason.
I had to get away from her.
“What’s with the space-pod?” I asked. It seemed to be a little out of character for Narnia.
“It’s more to my taste,” she said as the lid of the pod came down, and she sat down beside me, the whip still wrapped around my creamy white flesh, holding my arms tightly at my sides.
Taking a piece of chocolate, she held it to my lips.
I pressed my lips closed.
She grabbed my jaw, forcing my mouth open, and shoved the chocolate in.
Oh my. That was tasty.
Then we were rising into the air, flying over Narnia.
“Could I have some more?” I asked greedily.
“Of course,” she smiled, producing a box.
Entranced by the chocolate, I hardly realised when we had arrived at her castle.
It turns out she had her own playroom. And it was full of statues of beautiful creatures, both male and female. They weren’t stone, like in the stories. More like they had just been frozen in time.
“What is this place?” I asked as I reached for another piece of chocolate.
“This is where I keep my play things,” the Black Bitch smiled.
Okay – so maybe she wasn’t gay after all. Maybe she was bi.
Then I took a closer look at the statues. Their eyes were moving, watching our every move. That was just creepy.
It wasn’t until the following day when the chocolate wore off that I came to my senses.
I crept through the castle, towards the black bitch’s playroom. What if Christian was in there? Was that why he hadn’t come back?
I made my way through the statues. Men, women. Greek goddesses and other creatures of lore. But how would I know which one was Christian?
“You are not to enter this place without me,” the Black Bitch suddenly roared, and I turned to face her fury.
Damn. She was a control freak like Christian.
Her face was red, her lips even redder.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“Never mind.” She thrust the box of chocolates at me.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Eat,” she demanded.
I ran towards the door, knocking over a statue that looked suspiciously like Mr Tumnus. She must have gone back for him during the night. Served him right for betraying me.
“Get back here,” the Black Bitch roared as I flung the door open.
I couldn’t believe my luck. The playroom led straight to the landing bay where the Black Bitch kept her space-pod.
Unfortunately, I had no idea how to open the space-pods door let along fly the thing. I was useless with technology.
Instead, cursing the stupid white dress as it caught at my feet, I ran across the slippery grounds. I hiked up the dress and kept going, wondering how I was going to find Christian. He could be anywhere.
Then an enormous lion stepped in front of me. “Ah, daughter of Eve. There you are.”
“Aslan?”
The lion nodded, a deep purring coming from his throat. “Get on,” he said.
“On?”
“Quickly. We have little time if we are to free the lands of Narnia from the Black Bitch.”
With the Black Bitch quickly gaining, I knew I had no choice.
I hiked my dress up further, and got onto Aslan’s back, grabbing his mane as he suddenly took off across the snow, the icy wind whipping at my face and hair. He didn’t stop until we were far away from the Black Bitch and her castle.
My legs were shaky as I got off.
Aslan turned on me. “Daughter of Eve, you must free Christian Grey from the clutches of the Black Bitch or all of Narnia is doomed.”
“That’s a bit dramatic,” I gasped.
“Not at all,’” he chuckled. “If they turn off the machines running this place, we will cease to exist.”
“I see your point,” I agreed. “So – the Black Bitch. She does have him?”
Aslan nodded his big shaggy head.
“Is he – is he a statue?”
“He is now. Thanks to you.”
“Me?” I gulped.
Aslan nodded his head again.
“Whatever. Just tell me how to free him. I don’t even know which one is him.”
“There is only one way to free him. The same way the Black Bitch does.”
I raised my eyebrow. I wanted him to get to the point.
“You have to – er – arouse him. Once you have taken hold of his – er – manhood – he will return to normal.”
Oh. I smiled, could it really be that easy?
Aslan cleared his throat. “Just be sure that it is Christian you have found. You don’t want to leave a man – er – hanging like that. I hear it’s rather painful.”
I nodded. “So how do I get back to the playroom?”
“You will have to submit to the Black Bitch. She is a Dom after all. Once she has enslaved you as her play thing, then you will be free to search for Christian.”
“Submit?” I really didn’t like the sounds of this. But – after all – none of it was real. “But – I would be a statue? I won’t be able to move.”
Aslan breathed on me, tiny glitter like fragments coming out of his mouth and surrounding me.
“What was that?” I asked.
“It was a spell of protection. When she casts her spell on you, you will have to remain very still. The spell of protection will last for two hours. That is all the time you will have to find Christian and leave Narnia. If you fail, you will turn into a statue and will not be able to leave.”
I gulped. Could I do it?
Of course you can, my inner financial goddess crooned.
I would just have to trust that she was right.
“You will have to let her capture you again. You will only get one chance at this.”
“But – won’t she be angry with me?”
“Of course she will. She is the Black Bitch. But if you submit, you will please her. She is a Dom after all.”
I nodded doubtfully.
“Do I get to ride you?” I asked Aslan.
Aslan raised a brow.
“I meant back to the castle,” I said pointedly.
“No. This is a computer program. Close your eyes and I will transport you back to the grounds outside the castle.”
I closed my eyes, and felt Aslan’s hot breath on me again.
When I opened my eyes again I was on the castle grounds, surrounded by snow. Aslan was nowhere to be seen.
I glanced around, but there was no sign of the Black Bitch.
I started running dramatically so that wherever she was, she would see me, my dress flapping around me.
Still no sign of her.
Maybe it was this damn dress, blending in with the snow.
I ran towards the woods, skirting along its edge, the dress contrasting with the trees.
Ah – was that a bell I heard?
Suddenly the lights of the Black Bitch’s space pod were flashing above me.
I made to run as her space-pod lowered. I didn’t want to make this look too easy.
The space-pod door hissed open, and the Black Bitch flicked her wicked black whip towards me, its long thin end extending until it reached me.
“You will submit to my will,” the Black Bitch hissed as she drew me back towards the space-pod.
Damn, this was going to be hard.
I bowed my head. I needed more of that chocolate to do this. It just wasn’t in my nature to submit. “Could I have some more chocolate?”
The Black Bitch raised a brow.
“Please,” I added.
The Black Bitch smiled, then pushed me into the seat roughly. “I believe I have taken a liking to you.”
“You have?”
She nodded, tracing a finger along my lips, before inserting a piece of chocolate into my mouth.
Oh god, I didn’t know if I could go through with this.
I sucked hard on the chocolate, a dreamy sensation spilling through me. I turned to the witch. “I submit to your will.”
“Of course you do,” she scowled. “But I have no time for you now, and you have displeased me.”
Holy crap. I knew she would be mad.
As soon as we had landed, she led me back to the playroom, pulling me behind her with the whip.
Once we were there, she turned me into a statue, or at least she thought she did.
She left the room, only my eyes following her, too scared to move anything else lest I give myself away. She stopped at the doorway. “I’ll be back,” she said.
I went to nod my head, then remembered at the last moment that I was meant to be a statue.
As soon as the heavy door clanged closed, my shoulders dropped with relief.
Now I just had to find Christian and get us the heck out of there.
I walked amongst the statues. This was going to be harder than I thought. Three quarters of them were male.
Mr Tumnus was still on the ground.
I stepped over him, going to the Greek God behind him. Was this Christian? What would his fantasy self look like? I had no idea.
This was going to be a lot harder than I thought, I realised as the Greek God stared back at me.
I bit my lip.
The Greek God’s eyes moved to my lips. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all. Christian had warned me what biting my lip did to him.
I glanced down, nope. This definitely wasn’t Christian.
I moved on to the next statue, standing directly in front of what appeared to be a lion crossed with a bird. Surely not?
Its eyes followed me, and I bit down on my lip, before manoeuvring myself to take a look.
Wrong again.
By the time I had reached the fifth statue, my lip was stinging.
By the time I had reached the tenth, it was bleeding.
But I persevered. I knew I was running out of time.
What form would Christian’s fantasies take? I wondered.
Then I remembered the way Mr Tumnus’s eyes had lit up when I bit my lip. Could it possibly be?
I turned back to Mr Tumnus, lying on the ground. Surely not.
Why a faun – I mean satyr?
I stood over him, biting hard on my lips. His pupils dilated.
I bit down again, blood flowing down my chin.
I wiped it away as I glanced down there .
Oh my, now I know why he had chosen to be a satyr.
Holy crap.
And I had to – er – touch that thing?
Looking away, I reached down, fumbling towards him. I felt him come to life in my hands.
“Anastasia?” he asked as he got to his feet.
“Christian?”
He nodded. “Let’s get out of here before she returns.”
“But – isn’t she – you know – your first?”
“I have seen the error of my ways. I was only fifteen when I first submitted to her after all.”
“You weren’t even legal,” I agreed.
“You made me realise how wrong it was,” he sighed, taking me in his arms. “You saved me. Anastasia, will you marry me?”
Oh my. Would I ever. Him and his check book, both. “Well what are we waiting for. Let’s leave that Black Bitch behind,” I laughed. “After all, it’s what she deserves for what she did to you.”
Now I would have Christian Grey and his money all to myself.