Erinne scrambled to her feet and gasped when Cold Hammer's palm landed flat across her rump. "Hey!" She swatted him over the head and he chuckled as she pulled on her clothes. "Get up!" She hissed quietly and he lumbered lazily to his feet and she glared at him as she yanked her trousers on.
"Lady Erinne!"
She cringed as some of the kingsmen called her name again. "Are you dressed? Come on!" She snapped at him and he was still giving her a big lopsided grin as she started to bolt away, but he grabbed her arm.
"Wait," he pulled a few leaves out of her hair. "Okay, go." He yanked her to his lips and then pushed her off and she hurried through the trees.
"Yes?" She called out as soon as she made it back to the lightly worn path they were traveling. It was obvious no one used the path often. The men were farther up ahead, two of them, looking around. They gave her a baffled look but they'd been calling for at least a full minute.
"The king sent us to find you. We really wish you wouldn't wander off alone. King Wren-"
"Is concerned for my safety, I understand." She was perfectly safe. "Taking walks soothes me. I have a lot to think about."
"We understand, milady, but if you could stay a bit closer." The soldier suggested with a meek smile as if he knew she wouldn't listen. "Everyone is rested and ready to continue."
"Of course," she nodded and reached them in a few strides, burshing her fingers through her hair in case it was messy. Wren had been wrong in his original belief that her famiy home wasn't more than three or four days away had proven wrong. They were six days out and he wasn't confident there wouldn't be another few days. As the fifth day had ended and she'd asked him how close they were, he'd actually blushed and apologized for the delay.
She didn't fault him for his mistake. She was enjoying the journey, seeing more of Wren's kingdom, and learning about it from him and the other humans. When she had the chance, she was enjoying the time sneaking around with Cold Hammer, too.
She followed the two soldiers back to where they'd stopped the horses and dire wolves to rest. Lohke was on a patch of grass, running a brush through Sheshal's fur while Khash asked him questions about the animals, how they trained them, how they befriended them. Wren was speaking to one of the men he'd brought with him.
"Catch." She reacted to the word swiftly and turned and caught something in motion with ease before her eyes focused on the small, red object in her hand.
"Apple?" She questioned and looked up at Cold Hammer, not sure how he'd beaten her back, but pleased that he had. It worked in their favor to keep everyone from being suspicious. She looked down at the fruit as he walked by her as if she didn't concern him, but she was focused on the red.
They weren't going to be able to keep people from being suspicious for much longer. She hadn't seen red in one too many days. Her monthly bleeding should've come by now. She wasn't exactly satisfied by the prospect, she'd barely had time with Cold Hammer. They hadn't talked about what their future would be like, but she was growing increasingly certain that she might be carrying his child.
"Lady Erinne?"
She glanced up from the apple as Wren called her name. "Yes?"
"I think we're getting close, we may even reach it today. I wanted to apologize again, I have not been to this part of my kingdom in many years,"
She cut him off before he continued his apology, "There's no need, Wren. It was an honest mistake."
"You're too kind."
She smiled and reached Lothar, checking his saddle. He nudged her shoulder with his soft nose so she offered him a piece of bread she had stashed in the saddle. He nibbled it slowly at first and then took the whole thing, flicking his ears happily. "You're a good horse." She murmured, a bit of disbelief that she'd held onto him this long.
If she'd learned anything in her life, it was that things could change in a moment. In one brief attack, she'd been stolen from her human home and it'd changed the course of her life. She'd been raised among orcs as a slave. In one simple minute, Lohke had freed her from that fate. Falling in love with Cold Hammer had been slow and unexpected, but now their future was changing. They didn't just have a peace treaty, they might be having a child.
It was the natural order. Court, marry, children.
Yet she had so many fears and walking towards her childhood home each day made those fears worse. Orc and human hatred had stolen her entire family once. Now, for the first time since that day, she had loved ones again. She had Cold Hammer, she had Lohke who was her brother, Wren and Khash who were her friends.
With each step she found herself a little more terrified that she had too much to lose and seeing her family home was going to remind her exactly why that would hurt so much if she lost it all again.
"Are you okay?" Lohke asked in human words. She turned, spying him coming up next to her. "You look concerned, siba."
She offered him a weak smile, "Thinking of things I shouldn't."
He reached her, patting Lothar, "You've been preoccupied lately. Ever since the raiders nearly killed you and Cold Hammer, I find you in deep thought. Quiet."
"There is much to consider." She said quietly. "Things are changing. A lot."
Lothar turned his head to Lohke and he scratched on either side of the horse's face, "You're worried about going to your family home." He stated bluntly and she looked up at him. He gave her a soft smile, "We are brother and sister, I know you. It won't be easy. I don't know if I would have the strength."
She swallowed as he laid her fears out as if they were his own, "I've had nightmares of that night my whole life."
He bowed his head and his hand clamped over hers, tighter than she would've expected. His voice shook, "I have, too." She understood his meaning. Sometimes she wondered if their nightmares would ever stop, but with this peace treaty, they could work towards it. Maybe one day they could both live in peace within their selves, knowing that with the peace, their nightmares would never come to pass again.
"Thank you." She whispered, tempted to hug him, but he walked away and she mounted up. Cold Hammer caught her eye but they said nothing to each other. She was quiet as they continued forward, trying to forget her ever growing fears that she was somehow betraying her family, anxiety building deep inside her the nearer they drew to her family home. The last time she'd been there, she'd witnessed their deaths.
She'd seen her mother get struck down with one blow, she'd been in her father's arms when a spear hit him. He'd dropped her. She'd rolled through the grass and crawled back to him, screaming for him to get up but he'd told her to run. She was feeling that panic now, wanting to run.
"Sheobulf," a dire wolf edged in closer to her horse and Cold Hammer eyed her.
"Cold Hammer, I'm scared." She whispered quietly.
He took her hand without hesitation and she didn't even care who saw them. She didn't care. She needed her mate's comfort. "It's just memories." He told her, voice just as soft.
"I feel like it's more."
"We don't have to do this. We can turn around and go back."
She swallowed and part of her wanted to but she shook her head, "Just stay with me."
"I already told you I'm not letting you out of my sight." He squeezed her hand harder. She took a deep breath and tried to take comfort in that as they rode on.
. . . .
Erinne sighed but she couldn't beat back the bad feeling in her gut, even as she laid beside Cold Hammer. He'd spread a cloak out in the leaves for them and she wished they could stay here all night. They'd waited until the others had fallen asleep before sneaking away from their small camp to spend time together.
"You're quiet."
She stared up at the stars, wishing they had answers for her. "Lohke said the same thing."
"That's because you've barely spoken to him recently. He misses you."
"That's because you're stealing all my time." She tried to tease but her heart wasn't in it. He leaned closer, resting his chin on her shoulder. The stars glittered overhead but still gave nothing in ways of answers so she twisted her head to face him. His amber eyes were sharp as always, catching everything. He studied her long and hard until she felt her resolve crumbling and leaned into him, "My life fell apart last time I was there. I saw my parents murdered there."
"You're scared to go back," he said it simply. "What was it Lohke told you? He doesn't think he could do it? The fact that you are...you are the strongest of us all."
"That's not true."
He scoffed, "Yes it is. Do you think I ever went back to where my parents died?" He shook his head, "Not a chance."
It was strange to hear him talk about his parents. He'd been such a simple being when she first met him, or so she thought. A warrior with a surly attitude that hated humans. She hadn't needed to know more. Yet, somehow, they had.
"Tell me about them."
He hesitated and the moonlight gave her just enough lighting to see every emotion that passed across his face before he decided to answer her. "My mother was a good orc. She followed the traditions of our people faithfully, pleased the ancestors, and she did all that without lifting a single finger in war. War is important to orcs, it is unusual for any orc to not follow a warrior path."
"She wasn't a warrior?"
"No, but that woman could fight. I got backhanded by her for smart mouthing more than I could say." He chuckled lightly. "She was a healer and she believed that she should do no harm, lest harm try to come to her." Erinne slid herself a little closer to him, "And my Pa? Tough as nails. A great warrior. Earned the respect of everyone around him. He had a better attitude than I do, and no one could put him down quicker than my mother."
Erinne giggled and bit her lip, "How so?"
Cold Hammer shook his head, running his hand over his face and across his tusks. "It baffled the hell out of me. They were polar opposites, he was as tough as she was gentle, but one word from her and he was on his knees." He eyed her in the dark and smiled, "I think I understand now."
"We're not polar opposites though."
"No, but one word from you and I could fall apart."
He pressed his lips to hers and she kissed his back, but inside she wondered what he'd do if she told him one word: father. She still wasn't positive, but she'd yet to bleed. Speaking of his parents only made her all the more aware that they might become parents soon their selves.
She didn't want to tell him until she was certain, but staring at him now, she felt like everything would be okay. "You'd fall apart?" She asked. They'd done so much together. Everything she'd set out to accomplish had been completed. Now all they had to do was make peace. Spread word of the treaty's success. After everything they'd survived, they could do it, and raising a child would be no different.
"For you?" He replied slowly, "Every time."
She smiled warmly and slid closer to him, "I love you, Tekhana."
He closed his eyes as if he savored the sound of his name on her lips, "And I love you."