"If you hold my hand, you promise to never let me go."
Alice's eyes shoot open. The young woman clutches her shirt, breathing heavily. Tears stream down her face when she remembers what happened. She sits up and grasps her head. It seems like it won't leave her alone.
The bright smile she saw that day.
It was a hot summer day. Alice met her again by chance. It was at the same seashore where they saw each for the first time.
Days before, Alice sat comfortably on the seashore. The waves of the sea softly touched her feet every time it came. She was staring at the distance, seemingly caught in a trance.
Then suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew, causing her pink hat to fly off.
Alice stood up to search for her hat. What she didn't expect to find was a girl standing in front of her, face hidden by that hat.
oh ang tadhana'y mapagbiro
The girl holding Alice's hat put her arm down and Alice was welcomed by a warm smile and enchanting eyes.
"Is this yours?" the girl asked.
tayo ay pinagtagpo
Alice could only manage a weak nod before the girl handed back her hat.
"Thanks," Alice softly said. All these years she thought she was confident, why was she being so shy in front of this stranger?
After that encounter, Alice somehow crossed paths with her again. And again. And again and again and again, until it almost became a daily habit. They didn't really agree to see each other at certain times and places, but somehow, they just met.
After overcoming the shy stage, Alice managed to talk to this stranger a lot. It was fun to be with her, she thought. Alice found her humor amusing. She was comfortable with her. She found it easy to share her thoughts with her. With her, Alice could just be herself - no secrets, no pretenses. Just real Alice. There were no commitments, no judgements, no one else. They were just in their own worlds.
Every day that passed, Alice felt like they're getting closer and closer to each other.
That day came - that fateful day. That time, they met where it all began. On that seashore, Alice lay on the sand, arms spread out. She had her eyes closed and a smile on her face. The brightness of the sun still seeped through her eyes.
Suddenly, complete darkness overtook her sight. She opened her eyes and saw a fan in front of her face, blocking the sunlight.
Then she saw the same girl with the same warm smile and enchanting eyes. It was her.
Alice beamed when she realized who was her company. "We meet again," she grinned.
"What are you doing here?" the girl asked as she helped Alice sit up.
"Getting energy from the sun," Alice answered, "and good vibes too."
"Really?" the girl looked at her in disbelief.
"Yup," Alice stood up and offered her hand, "let's go?"
"Where?" the girl questioned, although she let herself be pulled up.
"To the waters!" Alice said as she dragged her to the sea.
"What about 'getting good vibes from the sun'?" the girl asked again.
"Hmm," Alice hummed, as if thinking, "I already got you for good vibes!" And Alice just gave the grinnest of all grins. 'Twas cute.
And down to the sea they went. Alice splashed and threw water to the girl. They shared a lot of laughter. They jumped and played and swam. They... enjoyed those moments.
After some time, Alice suddenly called, "hey-"
Then Alice realized something.
What was the name of this girl?
Alice's eyes widened, bewildered that she didn't think of it sooner. Did she enjoy their time together too much that she didn't notice? Was the girl hiding it or something? Did she just forget to ask?
"Hey..?" Alice repeated, in a questioning manner.
"Hmm?" the girl turned to her, waiting.
"What's y-" Alice's question was cut off when it was answered quickly.
"Shekinah," the girl said, "I'm Shekinah."
"Shekinah..." Alice said, testing how it rolled off her tongue. "Shekinah..." She was only saying her name but the look on her face spelled focus.
The girl - Shekinah - just stared at her.
Alice smiled. "Sheki!"
Shekinah just continued to gaze, a bit confused.
To clear her confusion, Alice exclaimed, "Sheki!"
Shekinah just sighed. And then chuckled. And giggled, until it turned into a full blown laughter, in which Alice joined immediately.
When things calmed down, it was Shekinah's turn to call, "hey Alice."
"Yes?" Alice asked, still with a big smile.
Shekinah turned around, her back now facing Alice. A few seconds of silence passed then she whispered, "if you hold my hand, you promise to never let me go."
"Huh?" Alice wasn't sure if she just didn't hear it clearly or she didn't understand what Shekinah was implying.
Instead of answering, Shekinah faced Alice again and splashed water on her. The girl laughed it off.
Carried away, Alice continued to play along. Their laughter resonated around the beach.
Was this what they call "bliss"? Alice thought.
Right when the sun was about to set, Shekinah ran back to the shore. Alice attempted to chase after her, her hand reaching out to the girl's back.
For a second, Shekinah faced Alice in the distance and flashed the brightest smile Alice had ever seen.
Then suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew, forcing Alice to close her eyes and stop in her tracks.
When Alice opened her eyes, she saw darkness.
The sun had set.
The girl was nowhere to be seen.
Alice tried to search around, but to no avail. She called her name many times, hoping that they're playing an impromptu hide-and-seek. But she lost. She couldn't find Shekinah.
Alice sighed. She shook her head and told herself,
"oh well, I'll see her again tomorrow anyway. I'm sure of that."
isang simpleng pagkakataon, pagsisisihan habang panahon
Alice sobs. She hasn't seen Sheki after that day. Not even once. She tried looking for her, she really did. She visited all the places where they coincidentally met. She tried every single day until she had to move back into the city. She even asked around, but all she heard was, "I don't know her."
Alice was beyond confused, she still is. What happened? And after thinking about it, Alice realized that she didn't really know anything about Shekinah. All she knew was that she somehow, always, bumped into her wherever she went to. She knew that Shekinah was fun to be with, that she's comfortable with her.
And that, she... might have fallen in love with that stranger.
Alice wonders, would Shekinah have stayed if she took her hand? If she didn't close her eyes and chased her instead? If she managed to reach her back?
Alice doesn't even remember what her face looked like anymore. Just that bright smile. That was the last thing Alice saw of her before disappearing from her life.
More tears flow from Alice's already swollen eyes. It hurts to continue loving a person who she hasn't seen for the past... weeks? Months? Years? How long has it been, really? Alice doesn't know anymore.
She just knows that she loves this stranger and she wants to see her again.
kaya't dasal ko sa Diyos na ibalik ang oras upang masilayan kang muli
Alice shivers from the intensity of the emotions she's feeling. That dream won't stop repeating every night. She continues to remember her unwise decisions. She continues to blame herself.
If only she took the chance to let her know her feelings...
If only she took her hand back then...
tumigil ang puso sa pagtibok ngunit sa iyo ito ay aking itinago