BURREN [ Burr x Laurens ]
PREVIOUSLY ON KEEPING UP WITH THE HAMILTHOTS.....
Door knocks! 🚪
HERCULES: Should we open it?
LAURENS: Nah, it could be Burr trying to head back in.
KGIII: or my pizza, you peasants! [ he opens the door to reveal...... ]
••••••
PRESENT TIME ( lol I feel like I misspelt something )
••••••
JOHN, RENSSELAER, PHILIP: [ sings like a god 🎤] the Schuyler brothe–
KGIII: Dammit [ slams door ] it's not the pizza delivery person people.
ANGELICA: Of course not, it's our lovely brothers [ opens door ]
PEGGY: [ rolls eyes ] Ewww, it's those disgusting male species.
ELIZA: [ gasps ] Peggy!
JOHN SCHUYLER: quite offended [ hand on heart ]
RENSSELAER: indeed.
PHILIP SCHUYLER: sup.
MADDIE: Great, now I don't have any room for my coffee machine. [ sad tears ]
J. LAURENS: Not to sound rude, but why are you all here?
RENSEELAER: To react to ships.
MADDIE: Sorry, we're closed for the day [ still sad ]
PHILIP SCHUYLER: We ain't leaving till we react to something.
ALL THREE MALE ANIMALS:
MADDIE: the fuccccccc [ sighs louder than a sigh should sound ] FINE.
JOHN SCHUYLER: yay. [ claps hand ]
ELIZA: Brothers, what have you accomplish by annoying our friend, Maddie?
PHILIP SCHUYLER: [ smart arse mode ] everything [ smirks ]
TWO MINUTES LATER
PHILIP SCHUYLER: [ tied up in a chair inside of the cheese closet ] WHAT THE FU–
MADDIE: [ close sound proof door ] Well, shall we continue?
Cricket sounds....
MADDIE: great!
ALEXANDER: remind me not to get on her bad side
JEFFERSON: I'm shocked that your even on her good side
ALEXANDER: You little bit-
JOHN SCHUYLER: Can you not flirt with him while your married to my sister, that's just weird.
J. LAURENS: Wut?
ALEXANDER: Disgusting! I would never flirt with a Jefferson!
LEGIT EVERYONE: [ stares at him ]
ALEXANDER: UGH LETS JUST REACT TO A SHIP [ crosses arm ]
ANGELICA: he right, I'm quite curious what the ship is this time.
MADDIE: well wait no longer, it's the ship is BURREN!
BURR: [ slams open door ] excuse me?
J. LAUREN: again, wut?
ALEXANDER: sink
JOHN SCHUYLER: you didn't even give any thought –
ALEXANDER: I said SINK!!!!
RENSSELAER: me confused
KGIII: same here buddy
WASHINGTON: about what?
KGIII: how Aaron Burr gets here faster than the pizza delivery.
WASHINGTON: you do realize he probably didn't leave—
KGIII: [ yawns ]
WASHINGTON: you know what, I don't care
RENSSELAER: I was going to say that I'm confused on who to ship.
MARIA: what you mean?
RENSSELAER: I mean, Alexander is supposedly married to my sister YET, he flirts with this man who smells like Mac n cheese, and this weird dude who has a turtle sticker all over his face.
J. LAURENS: have no idea what you talking about
ALEXANDER: can I say that your wrong and this ship is absolutely shi–
PHILIP: .[ innocent puppy eyes ]
ALEXANDER: [ sighs ] I mean this ship is a sink
BURR: no shit
ALEXANDER: BURR! Couldn't you see that I was trying not to curse?
BURR: I don't see words, Hamilton
WASHINGTON: stop fighting and lets continue
MADDIE: In my opinion, this ship isn't so bad. I mean, it's not my fav but it's nice.
ELIZA: [ shrugs shoulders ] I never really thought of this really happening
PHILIP: I say sink, because I don't want anything happening to my second dad.
J. LAUREN: [ heart is legit breaking in a good way ] I'm officially adopting this friggin cinnamon roll
PHILIP: I'm not a cinnamon roll! legit nineteen [ pouts ]
PEGGY: as long as you stay under this roof, your forever a cinnamon roll
KGIII: where is my pizza!!! [ whines ]
CHARLES LEE: you sure you called the pizza delivery?
KGIII: I'm sure. I'm not that dumb.
THREE HOURS AGO...
KGIII:[ dials 112 ]
POLICE: [ speaking in French ] this is the police, what's your emergency?
KGIII: I would like a large Krusty Krab pizza and make sure that yellow delivery guy I saw on your commercial doesn't forget my drink, you peasants. [ hangs up ]
PRÉSENT TIME
KGIII: I'm sure. ALSO, I say ship. Just because I'm mad.
GEORGE. E: don't have to bring your anger upon someone else
KGIII: don't make me read a one shot about you and Philip
GEORGE. E: Look, that was in the past and I didn't mean to shoot Philip. I didn't think it would kill him—
KGIII: the frick you talking about, you peasant? I swear you all have such small brains.
ANGELICA: I say sink, not because I hate this but I just don't understand.
JOHN SCHUYLER: same sister
ANGELICA: you don't even know what I'm talking about
JOHN SCHUYLER: you right.
MADDIE: okay guys, this is getting late and I'm tired as frick, so who here ships this.
KGIII, MARIA, RENSSELAER, AND MADDIE: [ raises their hand ]
MADDIE: okay, so basically the rest of you guys sink this
LAFAYETTE: oui.
MADDIE: well then, let's end this and go to sleep.
JOHN SCHUYLER: well me and my brother got to go to a wedding, so see yah [ yeets out while carrying Philip who is still tied onto a chair ]
SAMUEL: they weird
AARON: indeed.
JAMES MADISON: I wonder who's wedding they are going too.
THÉ WEDDING
@_jared_kleinman_: you may kiss the bride! [ closes meme bible ]
ELIZABETH & ADRIENNE: [ kisses so that they are officially married like you see on tv ]
JOHN, PHILIP, RENSSELAER: [ tears 😭] this is beautiful!
@Mewtwamaydream: I don't have enough tissues for this...
@Sukki_Mchamara: Where is Caroline?
CAROLINE: Im legit right here [ watching Netflix ]
@Sukki_Mchamara: now where is Catherine?
CATHERINE: [ sings ] I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!
@_jared_kleinman_: BEGONE THOT!
BACK AT HOME
MADDIE: why the fuccck is the police doing here! SHIT, HIDE THE CHEESE JEFFERSON!
JEFFERSON: why tho
MADDIE: because it's stolen cheese
KGIII: [ realization ] oooooooh I thought that was pizza delivery.
AARON: if this was a real life situation, we would be dead
OFFICER @stanthegeek: [ slams open door with a pizza box ] one Krusty pizza!
KGIII: where is my drink?
AUTHOR NOTE
Over 900 words!
That's a lot of words and official the longest chapter in this book! Wow. I'm shocked
Anyways, weird chapter and a lot of references from the past chapters, and I got this idea from these people: @_jared_kleinman_
@Sukki_Mchamara and @Mewtwamaydream
This was on the Marliza chapter:
But I do have a disclaimer: this was kind of a surprise, so I'm sorry if this isn't your personality.
Also this ship was requested by: @stanthegeek
Once again, I'm sorry if that's not your personality.
Oh another note, starting from this point and on, I will try to show a little bit more romance. I try not to overload because then it gets boring and too just too much. But I shall try.
Anyways, that's all and yeah.
Also I feel like I misspelled something because I'm not editing this and I feel like I missed a Schuyler sibling.... I probably did but I'm too lazy.
Anyways, now you all have proof I read comments but now know I'm antisocial so yeah.
Yeah is my favorite American word now.
Welp bye. ( also I kind of ship this )