Chapter 3
"Czarina, totoo bang wala na kayo ni Max?"
Nag-angat ako ng tingin mula sa sketchpad at sinalubong ang ngisi ni Kristoff. Sa likod niya ay an dalawa niyang kaibigan na laging kasama, nakaabang din sa sagot ko.
I felt annoyed for invading my privacy, but I didn't show it to my face. Instead, I smiled sensually at the three boys.
"Oo. Bakit?"
"Talaga? Break na kayo?" he laughed. "Akala namin di ka na pakakawalan ni Max tapos... biglang break na kayo!"
Shrugging, I went back to what I was sketching. Kanina pa ako dito sa ledgers, hinihintay si Sorcha. It was the same ledgers that the Treverons used yesterday with their jamming session. Ngayong araw nga lang, halos wala sila. There are some college boys playing a friendly basketball game with the high schoolers in front of us. Medyo maingay pero hindi ko yun alintana at pinagpatuloy ang ginagawa ko.
"Single ka na ulit, Czarina?"
I rolled my eyes. Asking the obvious. Duh!
Instead of being offended, Kristoff just laughed and advanced towards me. "Ngayong single ka na, siguro naman pwede ka na naming yayain sa party?"
"What party?"
"Uh... wala lang. Sa bahay. Tayo-tayo lang..." malaki ang ngisi niya.
Irritated, I shut my sketchbook and stared at him. "Really?" I said slowly.
"Oo! Tsaka, kasama silang dalawa... syempre."
Do these guys think I'm stupid?
"I—"
"She's not coming."
Nanatiling nakaawang ang bibig ko nang marinig ang pamilyar na baritonong boses. Bigla nalang lumitaw si Rigor sa likuran nina Kristoff, matalim ang tingin at halatang iritado. Did he heard what we were talking about? I quickly shut my mouth and clenched my fists in my lap. Kung kailan ko siya iniiwasan, ngayon pa talaga siya magpapakita?
"Uy, ikaw pala, Rigs..."
"Don't call me Rigs. Di kita kaibigan." Malamig niyang wika saka binalingan ako. "And stop bothering her. She's not coming with you."
Namuo ang galit sa mga mata ni Kristoff nang mapahiya sa harap ng mga kaibigan. He took a step forward and gave Rigor a once-over.
"Ano, sa tingin mo dahil senior ka, hindi kita papatulan?" maangas niyang wika. "Ang yabang mo, ah?"
Rigor ignored him and turned to me. Kaagad akong nag-iwas ng tingin.
"Umalis na nga kayo, Kristoff. Ang gugulo niyo, eh." Ani ko.
Kristoff glanced angrily at me, muttered something under his breath, and then walked away with two of his friends.
Ilang segundo rin kaming tahimik ni Rigor nang sa wakas ay mawala na sila. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kaya nagkunwari akong binuksan ulit ang sketchpad habang mahigpit ang hawak sa lapis, hindi naman alam kung anong karugtong ng iguguhit.
"You didn't answer me last night."
I froze. The tip of my pencil is crushing against the rough paper with the pressure brought by my hand. Nag-isip kaagad ako ng isasagot pero talagang wala akong maidahilan! I texted him, he called me, and I, the most idiot of all, didn't speak anything! Pinatayan ko siya ng tawag!
"Uhm..."
"May problema ba?" bahagya niya akong nilingon upang usisain. I bit my lower lip and looked away. Had I known that I'm going to see him today, I should've worn something more appropriate... hindi itong red off shoulder at skinny jeans na tila ba nang-aakit. I remembered Sorcha mentioned once that Rigor likes his girls consevative and shy. Iyong mga mahinhin at hindi makabasag pinggan...
Ah, damn it! So what if he likes that kind of girls? Hindi ako yun! Dapat wala akong pakialam.
"W-Wala naman." Hinawi ko ang takas na mga buhok at itinuon ang tingin sa lapis na isang pitik nalang ay mapuputol na. Finally, I let go of the tension and let the pencil drop to the sketchpad. Gumulong ito at nahulog sa may sapatos ni Rigor. He glanced down and quickly picked it up. Saka inilahad sa akin.
"Thank you..." I whispered.
"That boyfriend of yours... did something happen again?"
"Ex-boyfriend." I corrected him.
"Oh, you guys broke up?"
Akala ko ba narinig niya ang pinag-uusapan namin ni Kristoff kanina? I slowly nodded.
"Buti naman..."
He whispered something under his breath but I couldn't catch it.
"Ha?"
"It's nothing. Ayos ka lang ba?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be fine?"
"I don't know. Girls usually mope around after a break-up and have a hard time moving on?" nagkamot siya sa kaniyang batok.
Ah, oo nga pala! Sa sobrang toxic ng relationship naming dalawa ni Max, halos nakalimutan ko nang mag-move on.
"Bakit mo tinatanong yan? Hindi ba ganun ang mga lalaki?"
"Hmm." Humalumbaba siya at tumingin sa malayo. "Boys are different. They're hurting... but they're silent, I guess? O talagang iba-iba lang ang reaksyon namin. I'm asking because I have a sister, and when she had her first boyfriend and they broke up, halos isang buwan niya kaming hindi kinausap na mga kuya niya."
My heart melted a bit at the mention of his sister. Most of the guys I know are awkward when they talk about their sisters, mothers, and grandmothers. But with Rigor, it's so natural. Halatang alagang-alaga at protektado kung sino man itong kapatid niya.
"Rigs!"
Pareho kaming lumingon kahit na si Rigor lang naman ang tinawag. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang papalapit si Thyron sa amin, malaki ang ngisi sa mukha. Kaagad akong nag-panic. I'm supposed to meet Sorcha any minute now and Thyron is here! Malamang kapag nakita niya ang mokong na ito, tataas na naman ang presyon ng dugo niya!
"Uy, ikaw pala...?"
"Czarina." Tipid akong ngumiti sa kaniya.
"Right, right. Czarina. Ikaw yung kaibigan ni Sorcha, diba?"
Tumango ako. Thyron boldly scrutinize me, making me feel a bit uncomfortable. Siniko siya ni Rigor.
"Anong gusto mo?" he asked coldly.
Bumaling si Thyron sa kaniya at nginisihan ang kapatid. "Nothing! I'm just checking on my little bro!"
Matalim na tingin ang binigay sa kaniya ni Rigor, halatang hindi nasisiyahan sa ginagawa ng kapatid. Thyron grinned and flopped down between the two of us, forcing me to scoot away from them in surprise.
"Anak ng-"
"So, Czarina, bakit ngayon lang kita nakita?" pasada kaagad ni Thyron sa akin. "Sigurado ka bang hindi ka transferee? Sa ganda mong yan, dapat kilala na kita noon pa!"
"Fuck it, Thyron, stop asking stupid questions!" Rigor roared.
I laughed awkwardly. Actually, ilang beses na kaming nagkita pero halos di niya ako pagtuonan nang pansin o lingunin man lang. I guess he's bored right now that's why he's suddenly seeing me?
"May housewarming party si Elton. Sama ka?"
Tinitigan ko si Thyron, tapos bumaling ang tingin ko kay Rigor. I could see murder in his eyes. Parang gustong-gusto na niyang sapakin ang kapatid.
"Uh..."
"I'll text you the address so make sure to come. What's your number?"
"Thyron!" galit na sigaw ni Rigor sa kaniya.
"Ano? Bagal mo kasi, ako na gumagawa ng paraan para sa iyo." He whispered, but I can heard it loud and clear.
Napalunok ako. Should I give him my number? I'm not sure if Philodemus wants to see me in his housewarming party. Ni hindi naman kami close! What will I do there? For sure the Treverons will invite their rich friends to the party, and I don't want to pity on myself each time I stand out for being poor...
"Sa susunod nalang-"
"Nah, that won't do. I am personally inviting you to the party. Bawal humindi."
"Kala mo naman sa kaniya ang housewarming party." Bulong-bulong ni Rigor sa gilid.
"Don't mind my brother, he's just mad my progress is better than his." Thyron winked.
In the end, I gave him my number. He's flirting with me boldly but I see no harm. Mukhang katuwaan lang talaga at iniinis ang kapatid niya kaya wala namang problema sa akin. When he left triumphed, Rigor sat like a child, mad because someone took his candies from him.
I chuckled. Hindi ko napigilan. How can he be hot and cute at the same time?
"Hatid na kita sa klase niyo."
"Ayos lang. Sorcha's on the way." Tinuro ko ang papalapit na si Sorcha. Nakapayong siya habang naglalakad sa init, busangot ang mukha malamang dahil sa panahon at nilapitan kami sa ledgers.
"Great." He said sarcastically and patted his worn-out jeans. "Alright. I'll see you around."
I nodded and hopped happily to my friend.
"You look like you just got laid." Sorcha criticized, staring at me. "What the hell happened?"
Umiling ako, nakangiti pa rin. "Wala!"
Dalawang linggo rin ang nakalipas nang hindi ko nakikita si Rigor. I saw Philodemus, once. He just glanced at me and nodded in acknowledgement while drinking water at the hallway. Isang tango lang din ang naging sagot ko sa kaniya kahit na atat akong tanungin kung nasaan ang pinsan niya.
Naging busy din ako sa dami ng activities namin. Tapos may papalapit pang event sa school kaya na-assign na naman ulit ang department namin sa backdrop at decoration. Kinuha din ang pinakamagagaling sa klase namin bilang judge para sa isang art contest. I wonder if Rigor is going to be one of the judges, too?
"Mitch, kompleto na ba ang listahan ng mga judges?" kunwari tanong ko sa naka-assign kahit na ang task ko naman ay assistant floor director.
She nodded.
"Talaga? Patingin."
Inabot niya sa aking ang printed na papel. My eyes hungrily scanned the paper and it almost bulged out of my sockets when I read Rigor's name on it! Third judge.
"Salamat..." ngumiti akong ibinalik sa kaniya ang papel.
The housewarming party slipped from my mind. Hindi naman nag-text sa akin si Thyron at hindi ko rin alam kung kailan iyon. But with this school event, at least I have a chance to see him. I heard he's always busy, being one of the top students in their class and a president of the club. Hindi na rin ako nagtataka na halos hindi ko siya nakikita kahit nasa iisang departamento lang kami.
Friday night, pagod na pagod na ako at gustong umuwi kaso may run-through pa kami sa event. Nagkakainitan ng ulo ang mga mass communication students at art students na hindi magkasundo. I am partnered with Rey, a senior mass comm student in directing the floor. Wala naman siyang problema katrabaho kaso iyong iba, talagang agresibo at parang gustong makipag-basag ulo.
"Hindi naman yan ang napag-usapan nating OBB, eh! Napakalayo sa theme!"
"Eh di sana ikaw nalang nag-edit! Makapag-demand ka!"
I'm really thirsty but I couldn't rest nor drink some water in fear that some of them would scream at me while we're all in the middle of a heated argument. Napanguso ako habang nakatayo katabi si Rey. Mukhang pati siya ay uwing-uwi na rin at nakakunot ang noong nakikinig sa dalawang nagtatalo onstage.
Luminga-linga ako sa paligid. I'm already planning on what to eat for dinner as their argument went on kaso natigil ang pag-iisip ko sa pagkain nang may mahagip ang mga mata ko. I could only see half of his face because the small technical room is lit poorly, I am so certain of his physique! Nakatukod ang kamay niya sa lamesa at kaharap ang isang manipis na laptop... o macbook. Mukhang busy. Kinakausap siya ng babaeng naka-assign sa technical room. I couldn't see his lips moving in the dark, so I don't know if he's talking back to her.
Nakaramdam ako ng bahagyang iritasyon.
"Kung gusto mo nang umuwi, mauna ka nalang. Ako na bahala dito."
Napaigad ako nang biglang magsalita si Rey, napalingon tuloy ako sa kaniya. I know he has a girlfriend, I caught him texting her now and then while we were rehearsing. Uwing-uwi na din siguro siya. Tipid akong ngumiti.
"Hindi. Tapusin nalang natin 'to."
Sa wakas ay dumating rin ang moderator namin at kinausap ang dalawang kanina pa nagtatalo. We rehearsed from the top without the two of them and everything went smoothly. Nang sumulyap ako sa technical room ay wala na si Rigor.
"Good job everyone! Make sure to be early here tomorrow!"
I started packing my things while everyone was chattering excitedly. Si Rey ay may kinakausap pang kaklase niya kaya hinintay ko muna silang matapos bago ako nagpaalam. I stepped out of the cold AVP room and walked silently down the hallway. Kasabay ko ang iba ko ring blockmates na may balak pa atang mag-inuman kahit na may event kami bukas. Maiingay sila kaya hindi ko agad narinig ang pagtawag sa akin.
"Zari..."
Bago pa ako makalingon ay ramdam ko na kaagad ang kagat ng kamay sa braso ko. I flinched and saw Rigor behind. Nang mapansin niyang nanigas ako ay kaagad niyang binitawan ang braso.
"Sorry. Did I startle you?"
"Rigor! Ikaw pala..." kunwari hindi ko alam na kasama pala siya sa rehearsal kanina. I smiled at him.
"Are you going home?"
I nodded slowly.
"Sabay na tayo sa gate."
"Sure."
Nagkahiyaan pa kaming dalawa dahil walang nagsasalita ni isa sa amin habang naglalakad. I walked slowly, trying to think of anything, but my mind just couldn't come up with something comprehensive. I took in a deep breath when we finally reached the field. Malamig na ang simoy ng hangin kasi gabi na. The salty air made me shiver internally. Palingon-lingon ako sa kung saan-saan habang nilulunod ang sarili sa ingay ng iba pang mga college students na pauwi na.
"Are you really coming to the party this weekend?"
"Huh?"
Napalingon ulit ako kay Rigor nang bigla siyang magsalita. He's looking at me seriously with his dark, forest eyes that's gleaming with danger. Kumurap-kurap ako, ilang segundo bago na-gets ang sinasabi niya.
"Ah, yung housewarming party ni Elton?"
He slowly nodded.
"Hmm pinag-iisipan ko pa! Tsaka, wala akong isusuot no... baka kung ano pa sabihin ni Elton!" I kidded.
He slowed down a bit. "Why does it matter to you what my cousin thinks?"
"Huh?" napakamot ako sa batok saglit, nag-iisip ng sagot. "Because it's such an honor to be invited to his party!"
"Why?"
"Tinatanong pa ba yun?" I chuckled. "Elton is popular, talented, and handsome. I think most college students want to be invited to his party."
"You think my cousin is handsome?" kunot-noong tanong niya sa akin.
I tilted my head a bit, studying his confused yet angry face. "Yeah, why?"
Rigor shrugged. "He's just okay-looking, not really handsome..." he muttered.
Nagtataka kong sinundan ng tingin si Rigor. Is he... jealous of his cousin?
A sensual smile formed in my lips as I watched his broad shoulders while walking away.
"Do you want me to go to the party?" hinabol ko siya at tinanong.
"Huh?"
"I'll go if you go..." I said cheekily. "Besides, I don't know anyone there. Si Thyron, pero mukhang nakalimutan na niya siguro ako. I'm gonna try to invite Sorcha too, but there's no guarantee..."
Tumitig sa akin si Rigor bago nagpakawala ng isang marahas na buntong-hininga.
"Makabuntong-hininga ka, ha! Nakakahiya ba talaga akong kasama?!" I hit him in the shoulder. Hinawakan niya lang ang natamaang parte habang patuloy pa rin kami sa paglalakad.
"No.. I just can't say no to you..."
"Oh, why is that?" I said, smiling sensually. Pati mga mata ko nang-aakit, nasisiyahan sa reaksyon niya.
"Nevermind." He muttered. "Fine, I'll go with you."
"Great!"
"I'll just drive you home." He said all of a sudden. "Wait here."
Bago pa ako makapagsalita ay iniwan na niya ako at nagtungo sa madilim na parking lot. I stayed and waited for him. My phone's battery is dead, so I really can't use it to entertain myself. Nilibot ko nalang ang tingin sa paligid at nanigas nang makita ang pamilyar na bulto sa labas.
It's Max.
Mukhang may hininhintay siya. I swallowed hard as fear struck me all of a sudden. Kung hindi ako sinabihan ni Rigor na maghintay ay malamang kumaripas na ako sa takbo. Tumalikod nalang ako at nagdasal na sana hindi ako ang pinunta niya rito.
After a few minutes, I saw his black auto slowly driving towards the gate. Sinalubong ko siya doon at naghintay na huminto ang sasakyan sa harapan ko. I clicked the door open. Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay nagkasalubong ang mga mata namin ni Max. Panicking, I quickly got inside.
"Are you okay?"
I glanced at Rigor and slowly nodded, trying to still my racing heart. Ni hindi ko magawang sulyapan si Max na alam kong nakatitig sa kotse ngayon. I know the car is tinted, but his hard glares are burning weight down to my core.
"Sigurado ka?" he tried to figure out what went wrong with me, but I don't think Rigor knows Max's face. He just knows he's an asshole.
"A-Ayos lang." Mahina ang boses kong sagot.
He stayed still for a few seconds, probably itching to interrogate me but he didn't. Instead, he silently pulled out of the gate and drove away.
Kinabukasan, maaga akong pumunta ng campus. The GC is in chaos and everyone's so busy for the upcoming event. Hinanap ko kaagad si Rey at pinag-usapan ang dapat gagawin mamaya. I helped others put up the backdrop and other decorations, since I am done with my job. The classes in the afternoon are suspended for this event. By 1 pm, the students are already swarming in the AVP room and it was noisy.
"Bili ako ng bottled water, gusto mo?" alok sa akin ni Rey habang nakatayo kaming dalawa sa backstage.
"Ako na. Baka magtaka pa sila kung bigla kang mawala dito." I offered instead. The program will start in 30 minutes.
"Okay."
I stepped off the backstage and went out. Dumaan ako sa gilid ng aisle kung saan nakaupo ang mga BSMT students. One of the guys whistled at me.
"Siya ba yun?"
"Siya nga."
"Hanep, mas sexy pala sa personal."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa pinag-uusapan nila. Hindi ko nalang 'to pinansin at tuluyan nang lumabas. When I reached the cafeteria, I kept getting weird looks from the students... or maybe just my imagination. I checked on my clothes to see if I'm wearing anything weird, hindi naman. Naka-black trousers lang ako at maroon polo shirt intended for the art students. I even pulled out my compact mirror to see if there's dirt on my face... wala din.
My mind must be playing tricks on me.
Habang pumipila ako para bayaran ang biniling tubig ay bigla nalang may umakbay sa akin. I nearly yelped and turned to see the grinning face of Kristoff.
Irita kong binalingan si Kristoff. "Ano ba, ba't ka nanggugulat?"
He just smirked at me. "San na yung bago mong boyfriend?"
"Rigor is not my boyfriend."
"Ows? Eh di wala kaming bagong aabangan?"
Hindi ko naintidihan ang sinabi niya. Ngumisi lang siya nang malapad at tiningnan ako nang makahulugan. Kristoff leaned closer to me and whispered something disgusting in my ears. Namuo kaagad ang mga luha sa mata ko at muntik nang mabitawan ang dalang bottled water.
Still shaking, I went out of the cafeteria and went back to the AVP room as fast as I can. Nagsisimula na ang programa at ipinapakilala ang mga judges. Walang imik kong inabot kay Rey ang bottled water habang nasa isipan ko pa rin ang huling sinabi ni Kristoff kanina.
Suddenly, my phone vibrated.
Sorcha:
What the hell, Czarina?!
Ako:
What?
Sorcha:
What's wrong with you? Didn't I tell you not to do it?!
Kinabahan ako sa pag-aakalang ang tinutukoy niya ay ang pakikisalamuha ko kay Thyron. Kaagad akong nagtipa ng reply.
Ako:
Sorry, Sorch :(
Sorcha:
Anong sorry?
Ako:
Are we talking about Thyron?
Nag-angat ako ng tingin nang tinawag ang pangalan ni Rigor. The host read his credentials and when he stood, the crowd cheered, especially the girls. Bumalik din kaagad siya sa pagkakaupo. Nang mag-vibrate ulit ang phone ko ay inalis ko na ang tingin sa kaniya. What I read next almost made me faint.
Sorcha:
Fuck!! You didn't know?! Your nudes got leaked!
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#HanmariamBFLChapter3