Word Count: 2,578
The silence between them was starting to get unbearable, and Keith's thoughts searched for a possible start of a conversation as they walked down halls to his new room.
"So, uh, y-you and Allura-"
"Yes, we're together," Shiro's tone wasn't one he was used to, and Keith bit his lip almost hard enough to draw blood to the surface.
Some more minutes stretched on.
"I, uh-"
"Look," Shiro finally sighed, and Keith almost bumped into the man as they came to a sudden stop in front of a closed door. Giving a small peek through the door window, he could see the hastily rolled open sleeping bag sitting on the floor. Off to the side, Keith could make out a small shelf sitting along the far wall, and Keith noticed with a note of surprise that his backpack was sitting untouched on the floor next to it. He took it all in in a single second before drawing his attention back to the man in front of him.
"I know you used to know me, you know, before all of this, and I know that I used to know you, I can tell that much.
"But I've moved past that, you've had over three years to find me and show up and I-"
"Yeah, and I didn't because I thought you were dead," Shiro closed his mouth as Keith spoke, but he could see his expression remained flat, and with a hard swallow he pushed on, doing his best to try and keep his bubbling anger and frustration pushed down, this was the first time they were actually talking together, he couldn't blow it right now. "That night, I saw you fall off a building, Shiro, I- you were sprawled out on the street seven stories below and I thought you were dead. I- I was fourteen, I was scared, I never even thought to check if you were still breathing because at the same time I thought the world was ending.
"Because of that night, I was on my own, Shiro, no one came to help me for months, and because I thought you were dead, I was trying to deal with losing you by myself, and I didn't know how to handle it, so I forced myself to ignore it and hope it would just all go away.
"Look, I know you don't trust me, and I can tell that you don't want anything to do with me, and I get that, I do, but if you could just give it a shot-"
"Keith, just stop, you don't get it," Keith's mouth snapped shut in surprise at the hardness of his tone, and Shiro, in turn, pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh before continuing in a slightly softer tone, "I woke up in an abandoned alley in the middle of the city. I couldn't remember what happened, or where I was, or even how much time had passed, I was lucky to even know my own name, and no matter how hard I tried, I had no memory of anything that had happened before I woke up on top of a rotting corpse.
"Lance, Allura, and the others found me days later. I had an idea to move out of the city to get away from the hordes of undead, but that wasn't before I got bit," he said, gesturing to his missing arm, and Keith's stomach did backflips at the reminder of what he was now missing.
"They found me in time, Coran managed to cut off the spread and kept me from bleeding out, I owe them my life, Keith, and you were nowhere to be found-"
"But I-"
"Yes, I get that, I get that you didn't know I was alive, but it's too late for apologies. This is my life now, I've come to terms with that, now you need to."
Digging crescents into his palms, Keith clenched his jaw, and nodded, looking down at the floor and trying to hold back his tears. "Fine."
Shiro's eyes narrow before he finally nodded himself, "Good." And with that one word, he walked away, leaving Keith alone. Again.
It wasn't until Shiro's back vanished behind a turn did Keith finally get himself to reach for the door handle to his room. It opened with a small click and he stepped into the small classroom, that had been adjusted to be more of a bedroom. The windows, just like every other room he had seen, were boarded up and sealed tight. The mismatched rugs stopped in the hallway, leaving Keith's room feeling hard and empty, or was it just Shiro's rejection of him that made him feel that way?
As soon as the door swung closed behind him, he took off his shoe, and with a yell, threw it at the wall, watching it thump against the hard bricks before falling to the floor. Keith relished in the feeling it gave to throw things, and he threw his other shoe as well, harder this time, and it crashed to the floor.
"Keith."
It was a throwing frenzy after that. Cans of food were thrown as he dug into the single backpack he had left from his time with Chyra before she died in his arms. He didn't care if everyone heard. He didn't care if they forced him to leave after this, but, Keith realized with a start, they didn't want him to endanger their lives anyway, Keith doubted they even could hear him with how far away his room was from the rest of the group, so he just yelled louder, and threw harder, sight obscured by tears. If felt good to be throwing things, and somewhere in the midst of that, his katana found it's way buried in the wall as well.
"Hellooooo, Mullet, you in there?"
Eventually out of things to throw, Keith collapsed into himself, curling into a miserable ball on the sleeping bag trying to fight the wave of tears already overtaking him as they streaked, unwanted, down his cheeks, and he buried his face in the slick fabric trying to muffle his sobs.
It might have just been his imagination, but Keith could swear the thing smelled like Shiro.
Another sob.
Why did everything remind him of Shiro?
"Keith!"
Keith's head shot up in surprise of his name being yelled, as the scene faded away from his vision he realized that he was in the lounge, trying to play cards with Lance. "What?"
Lance frowned, "It's your turn, man." He gestured to the cards clutched in Keith's hand.
Oh, right, Go Fish, yeah he had totally been paying attention. Lance had been explaining how to play the game all morning, and even though he was sure he knew what came next, he was drawn a blank at what to do as he stared down at the numbered cards in his hand.
Lance gave an exasperated sigh as he realized Keith had no idea what came next, "Alright, look, it's your turn, so you have to ask me, 'do you have any' - ?"
Keith blinked, and then frowned, finally throwing his cards on the table in frustration, he got up and muttered something about "clear my head," before storming out of the room, not really caring for Lance's confused shout behind him.
Once he knew he was alone, Keith shoved his hands deep in his pockets and tried to think.
A week had passed, and he had been doing his best to slowly adjusting to his new role in the group. Between small scavenges nearby, and the occasional night watch, Keith could say that the school was starting to grow on him, it was safe, and the small band of people brought together under these crazy circumstances almost made his time suffering through the apocalypse feel like nothing but a dream. Almost.
After a day or two, Keith found that they called themselves Team Voltron. Lance liked to boast that he came up with the name himself, but he didn't miss the way Pidge muttered under her breath that it had originally been her idea in the first place.
Hunk was friendly enough as people came, Keith would sometimes find himself just sitting in the massive kitchen just to watch the teen make something new, and there was an occasional time when he'd find himself helping along.
Keith noticed that Coran and Pidge did keep their eye on him from time to time, and Keith made sure in those instances that he kept his head down and spoke as minimal as possible, he hoped that anything he did do didn't give off a warning that he was dangerous to the rest of them.
As for Shiro- Keith's heart clenched.
They haven't spoken to each other since the night he first came, and the memory of what had happened that night was forever burned into his memory. Did Shiro really hate him that much, now that he was here? Did he cause this? Was this whole thing Keith's fault?
He gave a dry snort, of course, it was, what else could be the reason? It was Keith's fault he didn't think to go down there and see if Shiro had still been breathing, he just automatically assumed he had died in the fall, and because of that, Keith had climbed up to the top of their apartment building, and jumped from roof to roof until morning came and he could finally realize that Shiro was gone and wasn't coming back.
He probably should have been used to the rejection by now. His dad died when he was six, and Keith had never known his mom, she left not long after he'd been born. He had been in numerous foster homes before Shiro had found him. Not a single one of those families wanted him there. They had all treated him like some sort of disease. The Plague. And Keith, after just a short time, had finally given up with the hope of his life ever being anything different than the rejection he already suffered through on a daily basis.
But then Shiro came along, and everything changed for the better. He actually made him feel like he was worth something, that he could be something. He helped him realize his own potential in the world.
Keith remembered with a faint smile on his face the day when Shiro came into his room with a huge smile and announced that they were going to go out and eat for the night. It wasn't anything fancy, just a small pizza buffet that was down the street, but that small building became his new favorite place after Shiro handed Keith the papers to his own adoption and told him that he wouldn't be going back into the foster system any time soon.
That little pizza place signified the day Keith's life changed for the better.
But, of course, none of that mattered now, he thought grimly, hunching his shoulders now as he rounded a corner. Shiro didn't remember him, and he was now back in the same hole he'd thought he finally climbed out of years ago.
Keith didn't realize he had made it to the roof until the blast of cool air hit his face, and the door to the shack slammed closed behind him. The trees were shaking in the rough wind, and Keith looked up to see thunderclouds rolling in as a rumble sounded from above. It was going to storm again.
Making his way to the edge of the building, Keith finally sat down, letting his feet dangle over the ground below as he tried to clear his head enough to actually think.
He didn't want to deny that he liked it here. He liked the company, the safety, the attention. But that situation then seemed to be the same then as it was now, he just couldn't get himself to think past what a failure he was-
"You enjoying the weather?"
Keith jumped at the voice and turned around to see Allura standing behind him, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore a non-holey pair of jeans with a dark tank top. She had a fairly large staff strapped to her back, and Keith realized she must be on watch since it was cloudy.
"Yeah," Keath muttered half-heartedly, turning back to the swaying forest, and dark clouds.
Allura hummed softly and settled down beside him.
Neither of them said anything for a long time, just watch the forest around them sway and bend to the wind as more clouds rolled in overhead.
"I noticed that you and Shiro haven't exactly been getting along this past week, am I right?"
It was Keith's turn to hum at that, and he kept his gaze on the scene in front of them.
Allura sighed beside him, "Look, I know that Shiro's been distant to you, and I understand what you must be thinking, but-"
"Allura, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want to talk about it," he snapped, he'd much rather deal with his own problem than let someone tell him what to about them.
"Well, at least let me say this," Keith looked to her with tired eyes, and he silently prayed that whatever she wanted to say to him, she'd say it fast.
"Shiro told me what happened the night you first came here, and I admit that I understand both sides of the issue," she said, playing his her fingers neatly placed in her lap.
Keith snorted, but let her continue.
"Keith, you may not see it, but he's just scared. He knows he should know something about you, and it frustrating to him that he's unable to remember anything beyond what has happened in the past three years. So he thinks the only option he has left is to push you away so he doesn't have to deal with bringing back up the fact you're a piece of his missing past."
"Why are you telling me this?" Keith snapped, "I already know he doesn't want anything to do with me, how does that make is any different?"
"Because I'm saying that you shouldn't let him push you away, I've watched you, Keith, I know you possess that fire to get him to listen, and you shouldn't just take that Shiro doesn't want to deal with you. He wants to know you, I know he does, he just doesn't know how."
"Well, what am I supposed to do about it?" Keith muttered, drawing up his legs, and wrapping his arms around his knees, "He said he doesn't want me, remember?"
"Get to know him, so he can know you. Keith please, tell me you'll at least try. I'll do whatever I can on my side to get him to listen to you, but you have to promise me that you'll at least try to help him along."
Keith's eyes widened slightly at her words and he looked down, letting the slight dizziness of the height wash over him as he thought about it before finally squeezing his eyes shut and replying, "Fine."
Allura smiled, "Thank you, this means more to him than he knows."
Keith just huffed, head jerking up suddenly when Coran's voice rang over the school's speakers, "Voltron, I need you all to come down to the lounge immediately, I believe I have just discovered Oriande."