It was late evening, and we were sitting on my bed. I couldn't exactly tell why we were, but it wasn't unusual for Harry to be around at the weirdest times, considering that he tried his very best to only go to his house to sleep, wanting to keep the awkward encounters to a minimum.
"I need to take a breath of fresh air" he said, a frown on his face. We'd been talking about how it was to be in that house after everything that had happened, so it didn't surprise me to know that he was feeling slightly sick.
"We can go outside" I suggested, standing up and grabbing a beige jumper from my wardrobe and putting it on, not really caring about the fact that it looked rather odd paired with my grey sweatpants, knowing that nobody would've judged me about it at such a late hour.
He nodded, standing up as well and walking downstairs behind me, putting his shoes on quickly and grabbing his coat as we made our way out of the door.
I quickly disregarded the possibility of putting something over my jumper, supposing that we wouldn't have been outside for more than ten minutes, and I grabbed the keys to my house before closing the door behind myself, not wanting to risk being locked outside.
"How did the competition go?" Harry asked me gently just to make some small talk, leaning back against the cold wall of my house.
I shrugged, letting him know that I didn't really know. "I sent in the drawing a while ago, I suppose we'll see in a few days" I replied, moving to stand next to him, feeling a little less exposed with the wall behind my back and him standing next to me.
"Are you confident you'll do well?" He asked again, surprising me a bit with how interested he seemed to be, considering that he hadn't seemed thrilled at all by my drawing of Liam.
I sighed. "Not really. I'm sure that there are a lot of people more talented than me" I told him truthfully, voicing something that I'd been worried about for some time already. How was I supposed to make a living out of being an artist, while I was sure that there were so many people so much better than me? Who would've even wasted their time with me, when they could've gone to them?
"Don't put yourself down like that" he murmured quietly, seeming slightly bothered by my words.
"It's just true" I replied with another sigh. I wish I could've been the best at what I did, but I knew that wouldn't have been realistic to even wish in the slightest.
He side-glanced at me. "As long as you'll draw only realistically you will always find someone better than you" he told me. "Try to change it up, make it more unique. In that way it won't be easy to compare your work to someone else's."
I looked at him, surprised by his suggestion, but realising that he was right right away. I wished I knew a way to do as he'd said, though. It was so hard for me to draw anything in a not-so-realistic way. It was just how I was wired to work.
All of sudden he detached his back from the wall. "Let's go somewhere" he suggested, taking his car key out of his pocket, and I widened my eyes, not having expected the few minutes in the garden to turn into something else.
But I knew I would've never told him no whenever it came to things like that, so I just said, "Where to?"
He gave me a little glance before he could enter the car. "Somewhere" he replied, almost completely unsurprisingly, and I nodded, entering the car as well and buckling up my seatbelt as he turned on the vehicle and drove away.
• • •
I looked out of the car window, a confused look on my face as I took in the dark nothingness around us. "What is up with you and taking me in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night?" I muttered to myself, but I must have not been as silent as I thought I'd been, because I heard Harry let out a little laugh as he turned off the car.
"I told you I like stars" he said quietly, to the point that I was sure I wouldn't have heard him if it wasn't completely silent around us, and he got out of the car, shutting the door not-so-loudly behind himself.
I shook my head at his words, knowing that he couldn't see me through the windshield, but followed him out anyway, hoping that he had a backup plan in case someone would've come out to murder us, considering that we really were in the middle of nowhere. I closed the door gently and walked towards him, crossing my arms over my chest, the warm jumper I was wearing not doing much to protect me from the freezing cold of January.
He was leaning against the hood of his car, his eyes drawn up to the sky, but he looked at me as soon as he heard my steps, a slight frown on his face as he took in my figure. "Here" he said, taking off his black trench coat and handing it to me.
I scrunched up my nose when I realised he was only wearing a thin black shirt underneath, and I pushed the coat back to him. "You'll get sick" I told him, perfectly knowing that the shirt he was wearing wouldn't have brought him any kind of warmth.
"I don't want you to get sick" he replied, seeming to have no intention to back down at all.
I sighed at his determination. "I don't want you to get sick either" I told him, but I suddenly realised I wouldn't have won that argument when he draped it over my shoulders. "Harry" I said, glancing up at him, but he looked away, and I looked down, rolling my eyes at his stubbornness.
"Hop on" he said, putting his hand on the hood, not waiting for me to react before easily climbing up on it, leaning back on his hands as he looked at me, waiting for me to do the same.
I gave him a suspicious glance, suddenly remembering the last time we'd done that same thing. It'd been October and everything had been fresher, a little more unsure, and his simple presence next to me had worried me enough that I'd barely been able to put two words together.
I shook my head, and carefully climbed on as well, trying my very best not to ruin his car, taking his hand when he offered it to me. I sat down next to him, spying his shivering figure from the corner of my eye. I slid the warm fabric off of my shoulders and, taking advantage of the fact that his coat was quite long, I turned it around, keeping the part with the sleeves and draping the final part around his shoulders.
He turned his head to look at me quickly as soon as I did it, not having expected it, but I just gave him a little shrug. "I'm not letting you freeze just because you want to be chivalrous" I told him quietly, not missing the little smile that formed on his lips as he looked away.
I wrapped my arm around his waist, thinking that he surely couldn't have complained about it, considering how cold it actually was, lying down against the windshield just as he did, glancing up at the sky. The moon was full and, far away from the city, the quantity of stars that were illuminating the darkness of the night was simply breathtaking.
I propped myself on one elbow, looking at him as he gazed at the stars, and even though it wasn't easy to grasp the emotion held in his eyes because of the multitude of shadows surrounding us, I could imagine they were holding that stare of mild amazement they had sometimes. "Thank you for taking me with you some days ago" I told him gently, and he glanced at me for the tiniest second before looking away, the small action being enough acknowledgement for me. I studied him for a while longer before putting my head on his shoulder, focusing my stare above as well.
After a while he sat up, and I did as well, crossing my legs and giving him a little glance as he looked down at his hand, on the metal of the hood between us. I pursed my lips, looking down at his hand as well. He was wearing many rings as always, some with a simpler shape than others, others so complex that I wondered if they were comfortable to wear at all. After a couple of seconds I glanced up, suddenly realising that his gaze had shifted to me at some point while I was looking down.
"Be mine" he said looking at me in the eyes, so quietly that for a second I thought I'd heard him wrong, but the hint of expectation in his dark irises as he waited for me to say something proving me that wasn't the case.
"Will you be mine too?" I said, searching the answer in his eyes frantically, nervousness at the pit of my stomach as I tried to understand what was his take on what he'd just said.
He looked away, his gaze drifting to the dark landscape in front of us. I studied his profile, the white light of the full moon enlightening him just barely, his dark hair almost interosculating with the shadows. "I'm already yours" he murmured quietly, a slight frown on his face as he spoke.
"I... I don't know" I replied lowly, turning my head as soon as I said it because I knew I wouldn't have been able to stand his gaze if he'd looked at me, focusing my stare on the dark view that had caught Harry's attention not too long before. Faintly, in the distance, the night sky seemed to be slightly illuminated by the warm golden lights of a city, in contrast with the white stars that were peeking through the dark mantle.
"Why?" Harry asked me, and I just knew that he was looking at me, I could feel his gaze on me.
I looked up, thinking of what he'd told me some months before. I wondered if he still liked stars, for the same reason as before. "It's... scary" I said, finally turning my head to look at him.
He didn't seem to be offended, or hurt by my words. He nodded slightly, as if he could relate to what I'd said at least a little bit, passing his fingers through his hair. "Maybe you should... take a chance, though" he replied, his voice low.
I looked down, not really needing to think about it. I knew I would've said yes, because there was no way that I could've said anything else, but I didn't know if I wanted to just yet. I knew that in the second I would've said it everything would've changed, and I wasn't sure I was ready for it. I didn't know if I was ready for whatever we had to become more serious than it was, and it scared me, because even though I knew I wanted it to happen, I couldn't stop thinking about what would've happened if I'd got burnt.
I turned my head quickly when Harry took the coat off his shoulders and got off the hood. "What are you doing?" I asked him, slightly worried.
He looked at me. "If you don't want me then, I'll leave" he said, a hint of playfulness in his voice as he started walking backwards down the empty road.
"You wouldn't" I told him, the security in my voice shivering in the slightest, because even though I was quite certain he wouldn't have just left like that, I couldn't be a hundred percent sure that he wouldn't have done it.
He shrugged at my words, taking another step back as a sudden wind blew through us, making his thin shirt move against his chest, and I couldn't help but think that there was simply no way he wouldn't have got sick after something like that. I sat there, looking at him go while his eyes were still focused on me, sure that he would've come back at some point. But he didn't, and all of sudden he turned around and kept walking, his back to me, seeming completely unfazed by the cold air easily penetrating his shirt.
"Harry!" I called him when I started to get concerned that he really was about to take a long walk down the road, my worry not diminishing when he didn't do anything that could've suggested me that he'd at least heard me. "It's not fun!" I added when he started to become less visible because of the darkness and the distance between us, starting to get worried that something bad would've happened, considering that we were both apparently alone on the side of a small countryside road in the middle of the night.
I sighed when he kept ignoring me, quickly jumping off the hood, his coat falling on the ground as I ran towards him. I reached him and I hugged his waist to keep him from walking away, being immensely grateful that I'd managed not to slam against his back. He turned around as soon as I did it, and before he could say anything I cupped his jawline and pulled him in for a kiss, feeling his lips curve up in a smile against mine.
"Okay" I whispered as soon as our lips parted, and he wrapped his arm around my waist, a little smile on his lips but surprise in his eyes.
"Really?" He asked for confirmation, and I nodded, standing up on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck.
"I can be yours" I whispered into his ear, my voice low, shivering just slightly because of the cold around us.
He hugged me back, and even if it came a bit hesitantly from his side, I didn't really mind at all. "Thank you" he simply said, and I smiled, letting him go.
"Don't do that ever again though" I said as we started walking back towards the car, keeping my arm around his waist and my head against his chest in an attempt to keep him warm.
I felt him move slightly from my grasp as he glanced down at me. "What?" He asked me, genuine confusion in his voice, as if the couldn't understand what I was talking about.
"Leaving me like that" I replied, letting go of his waist as I spoke and putting some distance between, looking down and smiling to myself when I felt Harry's fingers intertwine with mine.
"You had the car and keys" he stated, and I wondered if he was being sarcastic, or if he really thought that the only thing I was worried about was how I would've gone back home, rather than his own safety.
I glanced ahead, deciding to go ahead with his words. "Yeah but I can't drive" I told him, a slight warmth running to my cheeks, because it probably was kind of embarrassing that I still didn't have a driving license at my age.
"You can't drive?" He asked, confused, his head snapping to look at me quickly, clearly not having expected me to say something like that for some reason.
I gave him a little glance. "Isn't it obvious?" I asked him, feeling even a little more awkward. It was clearly that unlikely for someone my age not to have a license that he'd automatically assumed I did even though he'd never seen me drive.
"I thought you simply didn't have a car" he said with a little shrug, looking down again as he suddenly tried to act as if it wasn't a big deal, probably noticing how awkward I was finding the situation. "Did you fail the driving test?"
I shook my head, daring to look at him again when I noticed that he didn't seem particularly bothered by it. "No, I just never took it" I replied truthfully. We arrived at the car and I picked up his coat from the ground, giving him a little apologetic smile as I shook it a couple of times, making sure it was as good as new before putting it over his shoulders once and for all. "You froze yourself enough, I'm fine" I told him quietly when I noticed he was about to complain.
"Why?" He asked me, finally putting his black coat back on properly and patting the pocket to make sure the car keys were still inside it, and I widened my eyes when I realised that I'd basically left the car and the car keys alone on the side of the road.
"I don't know" I replied, not really having an answer. I couldn't tell why I hadn't done it, I just hadn't. I knew I would've done it eventually, so it was confusing even to me.
He nodded, taking the keys out of the pocket and unlocking the car, looking at me from the other side of the vehicle before opening the door. "Understandable. Your parents are rarely home, you probably don't have issues with being independent."
"Is that how you see it?" I asked him, furrowing my eyebrows. "As a means to get your independence?"
"Definitely" he replied, detaching his body from the car and opening the door. "I hated that Maura always had to drive me around." He slid into the car, leaving me to do the same.
I got in as well, closing the door and turning my head to look at him before putting on my seatbelt. "What about Niall's dad?" I asked him curiously.
He made a weird face, putting the key in the ignition and turning on the car not to have to look at me as he spoke. "He banished me from his car when I forgot some weed inside it" he said quietly.
I let out a little chuckle at his words, feeling bad for laughing almost instantly. "That sounds a bit... extreme? I mean, it wasn't some heavy drug or something" I said, and he shrugged.
"Probably the fact that I was fifteen helped him to make that decision" he simply said, nonchalance in his voice, finally driving out of the spot he'd parked in.
I sent him a side-glance, glancing at him as he turned on the heating of the car to clear the fogged up windshield. "Smoking weed at fifteen?"
"At thirteen, actually. But he found out when I was fifteen" he said, going back to looking ahead, driving well under the limit as it was still hard to see out of the glass.
I leant back against the door, turning around and locking it just to be safe, not wanting it to accidentally open on me. "How did you get into it so early? If you want to tell me, of course" I asked him carefully, curious about it, but worried about how he could've taken my question.
He gave me a little shrug, and for some seconds there was just silence, that he spent driving, his eyes focused ahead. "Uh, it was about two months after my father died" he finally said after a while, a hint of something I couldn't quite define in his voice. "It was a weird period" he stated, a frown on his face. "I didn't have time to process everything before I was suddenly pushed in this new family."
I nodded, putting my head against the headrest, glancing at him as he spoke, grateful that he'd decided to open up about it. It had happened quite a few times in the past weeks, and it made me happy to know that he was starting to feel safer around me, to the point that he'd decided to start sharing those moments and memories with me.
"They had an older son, he was seventeen at the time and he was into that stuff. He had the task of driving me home from school" he continued, his gaze still focused on the darkness on the other side of the windshield. "One day he decided to hang out with some of his friends before doing that, they were smoking and asked me if I wanted to try, and I said yes." He sent me a quick side-glance, as if he was trying to understand what my opinion was about what he'd just told me.
I gave him a little nod. "Did they ever find out? The parents" I asked him, taking time to make sure that the tone of my voice was nonchalant, knowing that if he'd only sensed the littlest bit of something in it he would've shut up again.
"They did" he said with a little sigh, the golden lights of the street lamps illuminating his face as we entered the city. "It was a bad fight. They shouted at me and prohibited me from doing it again, they were so angered. They said it was their duty as my parents to make sure I didn't make bad choices, and I told them that they weren't my parents, that they never would've been." His grip tightened on the wheel. "He, uh, he slapped me. It left a bruise for two weeks, everyone noticed it at school" he continued quietly.
He paused, but I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue in silence. I studied his face, taking in his frown and his stormy look, trying to understand how he exactly felt about it all. Was that why he always ended up pushing me behind him whenever he argued with someone with me present?
"The principal asked me how I got it, and I told her" he said quickly after a while. "They contacted them, and the parents told them I was smoking weed as an excuse." He furrowed his eyebrows, brushing his fingers through his hair in a nervous motion and putting his hand on his thigh. "They asked me how I'd got into it, and I... I was just thirteen, and there were four adults pressing me, so I told them" he continued, his voice faint in the silence of the car. "I was taken out of that family not too long after."
I waited for some more seconds, wanting to make sure that he was done, before speaking. "I'm sorry" I told him gently, squeezing his arm gently, knowing that it probably wasn't the best thing I could've told him, but that nothing else seemed fitting as well.
He shrugged, turning his hand so that he could take mine. "It's okay, I hated them anyway."
I simply nodded, not knowing what else I could've told him in that moment, and I looked out of the car window again. "Do you want to stay over for the night?" I asked, his hand still in mine, noticing that we were getting close to my house.
"Won't your father be mad?" Harry asked, hesitance evident in his voice, showing that he actually was a bit nervous about having an encounter with my dad.
I smiled slightly at it, finding it kind of cute. He always acted as if he was so detached from everything, it was nice to know that he too got nervous at times. "He won't find out if we leave before he wakes up."
"We could have breakfast at a cafe" Harry suggested at my words as he parked at the entrance of my street, not wanting to risk my parents discovering his car if they happened to wake up in the middle of the night.
I nodded, getting out of the car and wrapping my arms around my middle as I waited for him to do the same. He locked the car and walked onto the pavement next to me, and I got close to him again, starting to feel the cold again.
He didn't think twice before opening his coat, allowing me to slide in, and I wrapped my arms around his waist again as we walked towards my house.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. x
Miki