"There's my big girl; daddy missed you."
With his tattooed arms held open, wide enough to catch the curly-headed toddler as she ran towards her father, Camron couldn't help the goofy grin on his face. The only thing better than seeing his daughter after eight months of being locked up behind bars was that sweet taste of freedom.
Lifting his baby girl into his arms, tears welled up in his eyes as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Her chubby arms wrapped around his neck as best as they could, and it was evident that she was even more excited than he was.
"Daddy," she happily cried into his shoulder, her wild curls tickling his face as he held her close to him. It was a bittersweet moment; happy to be home but heartbroken that he had to be away from her in the first place. It was his fault, and he knew that, but accepting that did nothing to heal his hurt and it didn't help his daughter to understand just why he was gone for so long.
"Where did you go?"
Those four words were heavy enough to snap his heart into two.
What was he supposed to say? How was he going to explain what he had done and the consequences he had to face? Would she even understand?
"Daddy was on a vacation, Adelina; remember what I told you?"
Glancing up, Camron could barely see through his daughter's dark brown curls but he knew exactly who it was. Reluctantly, he lowered his daughter back onto the ground.
The four-year-old, now obsessed with her father's return, grabbed onto his hand. Before he could comfort her and give her reassurance that he wouldn't leave again, the sight of his daughter's mother stunned him into momentary silence.
His mouth grew dry and his palms sweaty, she had that effect on him. Every one of those two-hundred and forty-sum odd days felt like seconds to him looking into his ex's eyes.
She was just as beautiful as he remembered her being, and even though he hadn't seen her since the night of his arrest because she couldn't be bothered to visit him, he still loved her. Whether or not she felt the same, he didn't know.
"Becca," his throat was dry, and her name tasted strange, "hey."
The urge to wrap her smaller frame into his arms was almost unbearable, but he kept his arms at his side while holding onto his daughter's tiny hand. The look on her face told him enough to keep him standing at a decent distance; she had to still be upset with him, and he didn't blame her.
Leaving her to care for their young child, all because of a stupid mistake? Unforgivable.
Her only reply was that sour expression he'd longed to see; oh, how she could catch an attitude.
With her arms crossed over herself, obviously a subconscious move to protect herself, she stayed silent. Upset was an understatement; she was pissed. Camron had hoped that there was a small chance that she'd forgiven him, maybe even understood why he did what he had done, but it was beginning to become obvious that wasn't the case at all.
Awkward didn't even begin to explain how the prolonged silence felt.
Even Adelina noticed the tension between her parents, but she didn't quite understand why. So, thinking nothing of it, she created a distraction that only a four-year-old could.
"Can we go to McDonald's now, mommy?"
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
"I used to hate this shit." Yellow burger wrappers scattered the outdoor table top, cold fries untouched. "I think I still do."
Silence.
"Are you gonna at least talk to me?" More silence.
With a frustrated sigh, Camron sunk back into the hard seat and stared at the woman sitting across from him. She kept her gaze on their daughter climbing and crawling through the undoubtedly dirty McDonald's playground. Her arms wrapped themselves around her middle, once again in an attempt to keep herself safe.
"What do you want me to say, Cam?"
"Uh, 'welcome home' would sound nice."
Becca scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. Resting her elbows on the tabletop and placing her head in her hands, she took a few seconds to collect herself so that she wouldn't flip out on him.
"You don't get it," she said dryly, the exhaustion evident in her voice. "You left me to take care of Adelina, all by myself. You fucking promised me that you wouldn't-," she was cut off by a tiny voice coming from the play area.
"Daddy, look at me!"
Both of them turned their attention to their daughter as she slid down one of the colorful slides. The sound of her laughter warmed Camron's heart; he'd been counting the days since he'd be able to hear it again. As she came down to the end of the slide, she jumped off onto her feet and her pink Sketchers lit up. She was so innocent and unaware of the drama engulfing her parents at that moment.
"Good job, baby." Camron watched as she ran back to climb onto the playground equipment, satisfied to have had her parents' attention. God, he loved that girl more than anything and anyone; even more than Rebecca and that was saying a lot because damn, he loved Rebecca.
"She looks like you," Rebecca commented, the soft tone of her voice bringing them back to their short conversation. "It hurts, how much she looks like you. I couldn't even look at her sometimes."
"I'm sorry," Camron choked out, that damn lump forming in his throat again as he willed the tears not to form. "I know I fucked up and I'm so sorry, baby. I did it for us, you have to understand that. I did it for Adelina, she deserves so much better than what we had growing up."
Wrapped up in the moment, he reached out his inked-up hand in an attempt to grab onto Rebecca's. Before they could make contact, she was snatching her hands back underneath the table to rest them on her lap. She couldn't even touch him and that killed him more than her previous silence.
"Better than we had? Bullshit," she snapped, her voice no louder than a whisper as to not gain the attention of their daughter. "How is this any different? Your dad was in and out of jail, Cam. My parents were never there; how is this any better?"
As much as he hated to admit it, she was right.
He had tried so hard to be better than his own father and, ironically, here he was; begging the love of his life for forgiveness after making a dumb mistake that landed him in prison, just like his father. His decisions had forced him to abandon Rebecca, just like her parents had done.
"I'm sorry," all he could do was apologize, but he knew that there wasn't anything he could say at that moment to take those eight months back.
Watching the tears fall from her eyes, all Camron wanted to do was grab her up and hold onto her. Instead, he let his hands fall onto the table. Hopeless, he felt utterly hopeless.
"Adelina," Rebecca called out, clearing her throat and standing from the table. "It's time to go. Daddy needs to catch his Uber."
Camron felt like throwing up; maybe it was the burgers, or maybe it was the fact that it was finally hitting him that this was his new normal.
There was no home for him to go to, no Rebecca. All he had to call his own was a cheap and dirty motel off the highway. At least she'd helped him out with paying for a week's stay and sending all of his things to his room.
"Give daddy a hug."
The tantrum that ensued was outrageous. Kicking, screaming, and crying; Rebecca had to tear Adelina away from her father as he could do nothing but watch helplessly.
Standing there in the empty McDonald's, he couldn't hold back his tears as he watched his entire world walk away. The workers behind the counter gave him sympathetic looks as he wiped the tears from his face.
He'd rather prison than this.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Author's Note:
I'm reuploading this story having a mental breakdown and deleting my account lmao
I've changed the names because I feel like this story does best as an original piece and not a fanfic, but I've kept Camron's faceclaim as Calum Hood bc there's a serious lack of Polynesian representation lmao
As always, I'd love feedback and critiques! Comments and stars, whatever you'd like!