"I wouldn't stare that hard if I were you," I felt someone's hand on my shoulder as she sat beside me.
It was Jisoo, my second closest friend after Lisa.
"I'm not," I shrugged and guiltily looked away.
Lisa asked me to watch their dance rehearsal so she can ask for some advice later on. And fuck it, I can't help but focus on her as she was killing it. No wonder why she was chosen to be the captain of this dance troupe.
She was just wearing her sweatpants and a white crop top that shows off her toned body making it harder for me to tear my eyes off her.
She noticed me looking at her and then winked before repeating the steps for her members to see.
I bit the insides of my cheeks.
"Freaking three years, Jen. We've been friends for three years and since then I've always seen you looking at her differently," Jisoo rolled her eyes because of what she just witnessed. "You like her. You like Lisa."
Panic flushed over me and quickly looked around so see if there's anyone who heard us. Thankfully, there was no one near us.
We were sixteen when Jisoo and I became friends over some korean drama that we both got hooked in watching. And she's right, it has been three years since she has repeatedly asked me if I felt anything towards Lisa. More than friendship, that is.
"Chu, I told you I don't..." I looked away from her which made me look at Lisa instead, who was busy holding a beautiful member's hands as she guided her where it should be upon dancing.
That girl was Mina, if I'm not mistaken. And if that time, I was trying my best to hide everything from making her see that I truly see Lisa differently, Mina was the opposite. I gritted my teeth as I saw her smiling from ear to ear, all flirty with my Lisa.
And Lisa was that clueless little puppy, not knowing lots of girls and boys are after her, including myself.
"And that doesn't make you jealous?" Jisoo asked as she followed where I was looking at and smirked.
I clenched my fist. "She can be with anyone she likes." And she doesn't like that woman. There's no way she will!
But who am I kidding? Mina was beautiful, talented and fucking likes her. If Lisa wanted her, I can't do anything about it.
That night, when Lisa walked me home, she looked troubled.
"So yeah, basically I like the group's chemistry as you guys danced all together earlier," I flashed Lisa a smile.
"Thanks, Jen," she said, smiling but obviously there was something wrong.
I furrowed my brows. "Is there something wrong?"
Lisa kept looking away so I stopped from walking, and she did, too.
"Tell me, Lisa. What's bothering you?"
Silence. My heart starter beating faster. Her hands suddenly held mine gently and from those, I averted my eyes to her. My heart getting wilder because of the gesture. That was when I realized that Jisoo was right all along.
I like her. I like my Lisa.
"Promise nothing will change between us?"
My heart skipped a beat. My heart filled with hope as I nodded. I can't tear my eyes off her now, not now, and I think not ever.
Her warmth transcended towards my body with our hands intertwined.
"Jennie, I'm bi and I..." she stopped, looking at my eyes deeply to see for any reaction coming from me. I slowly smiled and urged her to go on with that.
"That doesn't change anything between us, Lisa," I stroked the back of her hand.
Unless you choose to like me back... or break me.
She sighed in relief and pinched my cheeks before she proceeded. "Uhm, the thing is, Mina told me she likes me and I told her we can try because I think I like her, too.."
My world stopped. The only thing that resumed was the sound of my heart breaking.
"That's..." too bad. "That's great, Lis! I-I'm happy for you." I hugged her tight and silently wept the silent tear that betrayed me from keeping myself intact.
"You don't know how much I appreciate it, Jen. Thank you. That's why I love you so much!" Her tone became happier and that made me realize that it was all fine, as long as she was happy.
I didn't even try to stay away from all those six months that she was in a relationship with Mina. It just so happened that they spent a lot of time together and Jisoo was there to save me from being alone. And since then, I didn't keep a secret from Jisoo anymore. She knew everything, of how I've felt towards Lisa. She didn't pressure me to move on, instead, she was there like a true sister that did everything so I would forget about crying.
Lisa never changed towards me, and I was thankful for it. It was a good choice that I left Lisa clueless about what I felt because now that they have broken up, nothing still changed between us. Lisa was only sad for a couple of weeks but she managed to move on and I was glad she did.
"Fucking hell Lisa! What happened to you?!" Jisoo shouted as she was approaching us the moment we entered school.
Lisa groaned when all eyes fixed on her and her bandaged arm thanks to Jisoo's scandalous welcoming.
"Just Lisa being the idiot that she is," I walked past them so they had no choice but to follow me as we talked.
"An accident, Jennie!" I heard Lisa's sharp tone. "But don't worry, Chu, now that I'm injured I've got Jen to look after me since last night. This is certainly the life!"
I heard Jisoo chuckle from behind me. I stopped in my tracks and faced the two. Lisa with her goofy grin and Jisoo with her knowing smile and raised brow.
"You wish, Manoban!"
"She didn't even let me help fix her bed nor help her prepare breakfast earlier because I was injured. My jennie was so sweet, right Chu?" She smiled sweetly. "If I didn't insist, she would've helped me take a bath too!"
"Ya!" My eyes widened. "The last part wasn't true!"
Jisoo's laugh echoed around the hallway. "You should have hurt yourself more, Lisa. Maybe then you would've made her do everything for you."
"Do you want to get injured too Chu?!" I glared at her. She quickly shook her head and tried so hard to stop herself from laughing.
"But wait, so you slept at her place?" she asked Lisa. I bit my lip.
"Yeah, I went straight there right after going to the hospital. And maybe if Jennie considers my injury, she'll be kind enough to make me stay in her place for a few weeks..." she fake coughed. "I have no company at home so it will be very hard for me to—"
"Whatever, Lis. You've hurt your arm, stop acting as if you have no arm!" I hit her shoulder.
"Ouch!" she groaned.
My eyes went wide as I quickly stepped closer. "Are you hurt there, too? Oh my god I'm so sorr—" I stopped inspecting her shoulders when my gaze met hers, our face inches apart, her mouth turning into a grin.
I was taken aback and my heart skipped another beat. I quickly distanced myself right after hitting her shoulder again.
"Aw what was that for?!" she laughed while rubbing her shoulder.
"For being annoying!"
"You guys, stop fighting," Jisoo interfered, making her presence known once again. She secretly smirked at me, eyebrows raised asking what the fuck did she just witness. "I gotta go, see you later bitches!"
Lisa and I walked towards our building again. With her uninjured arm, she placed it on my shoulders casually and leaned closer. "God, my whole body suddenly hurts." She acted as she put her weight on me.
"Whatever, Lisa," I kept a smile hidden as I inched closer to support her body and her acting.