Webster and Amala host another in the endless line of kids' pool parties.
Webster has succeeded in producing reality television to the point he need not invite Jerry and Laura. Hal and Mary are also off the list, only because Webster and Hal don't get along. Webster throws the party for his kid's benefit, not for professional currency.
As the Welphelt's car approaches Webster's house, Arlene notes the long line of luxury vehicles. She is even more struck by the scale of the house—mansion. Missy has grown accustomed to the displays of wealth.
The scene in the backyard is familiar: Parents in khaki, kids running everywhere, a large swimming pool, and plenty of food and drink. The party has a more relaxed vibe than most of these get-togethers. The colleagues who shunned Paige and Riley have warmed up. Paige and Riley have adapted to the parties, wardrobe-wise. Riley wears shorts. Paige goes the distance in a swimsuit and cover-up.
Webster sees the Welphelts arrive and waves them over to the bar where he stands with Amala. Riley zeroes in on the big difference to this party.
"Alcohol?" He questions Webster's cocktail.
"No Jerry," Webster explains. "People need a day off. Have a drink. Have you met Grady Tuttle?" he introduces his imposing African American friend. "He's my head of development. Grady, this is Paige and Riley Welphelt. Jerry scooped them up to run a mystery whatever, starring who cares." Grady offers his hand.
"Nice to meet you," he says in a thick southern accent.
"You got a kid here, Grady?" Paige asks.
"No kids for me," he says. "I just like to meet people. Get inspiration from their life stories." Arlene inserts herself into the conversation.
"I got a doozie for you." Grady shakes her hand.
"Grady Tuttle," he says.
"Arlene King. I'm Missy's..." Paige cuts her off.
"Nanny." She turns to Arlene, "Why don't you take Missy to the pool? We'll be right behind." Arlene plays along.
"Yes, ma'am. Come on, Missy. Let's have us some fun. Nice meeting y'all."
As she leads Missy away, Grady says, "Y'all? She must be from my neck of the woods."
"Anyone ever refer to your neck of the woods as 'bumfuck'?" Paige says, not seriously asking.
The group lag behind Arlene and Missy at a leisurely pace. From the pool, the children catch sight of Paige and scramble out of the water like it's Amity Island, 1975.
Arlene claims chairs near the pool. "I'm parched," she tells Missy. "Want a cold drink?"
"Sure." Missy remains cool to the woman who gave her up.
Arlene strolls to the bar and bellies up next to a gentleman wearing a wristwatch anyone could tell cost more than a decent used car.
"Hey, sweetie," she says to the bartender, "Could I get a Bud Light and Chambord?"
"How do you want the Chambord?" the bartender asks. It's a reasonable question.
"In the Bud Light. And give me something a kid can drink." Her order disgusts the bartender, but he remains polite.
"Coming right up." Arlene sees the timepiece on the gentleman next to her.
"That's a whole lotta watch you got there." He nods, at first put off by Arlene's hick demeanor, but also attracted to her white-trash delicacy.
While that species intermingling carries on, Paige sees Missy dangling her toes in the pool, alone. She breaks away from the other adults and wanders poolside.
"Where's Arlene?" Missy looks up.
"She's talking to that guy over there." Paige spies Arlene chatting up the big watch.
"Not getting in the pool?" Paige asks. Missy shrugs. That doesn't surprise Paige, but neither does it please her.
"No one wants to swim. They're all afraid of you."
"Maybe I'll dip my toes in." Missy doesn't believe her.
"As if. I've never seen one adult swim at these things." Paige musters up every bit of self-confidence and peels off her cover-up, debuting her bikini-perfect figure, unharmed by childbirth. That captures the entire party's attention.
"Oh, that's just not fair," one mom groans to a group of moms.
"Good job, Riley," Webster says. "Who knew?" Amala punches his arm.
Paige dives into the pool with grace. She breaks the surface and calls to Missy, "What are you waiting for?" Missy hesitates. Paige beckons her with a nod of her head. All right. Missy jumps in, splashing Paige. Paige splashes back and they create their own great time. One by one, other children ease into the pool with caution. Soon the pool comes back to life with Paige and Missy in the center of the action.
Riley smiles and snaps a shot of Paige and Missy. Arlene grimaces from the bar.
Once the pool reaches peak child, Paige climbs out to give them space.
"Towel, Mrs. Welphelt," Arlene offers, slurring her words, about two Bud-and-Chambord's worth.
"Thank you," Paige takes the towel.
"You think you're so special, telling people I'm your nanny." Arlene is an angry drunk, but Paige won't take the bait.
"I don't expect you to understand this, Arlene," Paige says, "but Riley and I need these people to perceive us in a certain way. It's part of our job."
"Oh, I understand. You need all your rich friends to give you all the attention," Arlene slurs, proving she doesn't understand.
"Instead of worrying about getting attention," Paige suggests, "why don't you try paying attention to Missy? That is why you're here, isn't it?"
Later that evening, at home, Riley leans on the bathroom doorjamb as Paige showers.
"I don't like her. Not one bit," Paige complains about Arlene. "And to tell you the truth, I don't think Missy likes her, either."
"It's only for a few weeks," Riley says.
"We need to speak to Charlie," continues Paige. "I've got a bad feeling about her." She squeezes a dollop of conditioner into her palm.
"I'll call Charlie in the morning," Riley offers. He stretches and lets out a long sigh. "I need to blow off steam. I'm going for a swim."
As he opens the door to the hall, Arlene, who had been listening, bolts away. Riley heads for the kitchen, unaware of Arlene's presence.
It's a warm night. The pool's serenity comforts. Riley back-floats, eyes closed. From the kitchen, near the refrigerator, Arlene watches.
Riley is too zoned-out to hear the footsteps approach. At the far end of the pool, Arlene drops her robe to the ground and slips into the water without a sound. She dunks under the surface and swims toward Riley. She surfaces very near to him, holding two beer bottles.
"Hey?" she says. Surprised out of his trance, Riley bobbles to his feet. The water rises almost to their necks. Arlene displays the beers. "Can I offer you a cold one?"
"It is a warm night," he concedes. Arlene twists off the tops and hands him a Bud.
"Here's for swimmin' with bow-legged women," she toasts. Clink. Drink. Arlene wants to lose the bottle caps. "Let me get rid of these."
She wades poolside and drops the caps on the concrete. When she spins around to face Riley, the light reveals her bare breasts hovering above the shallow water.
"Arlene," Riley notes, "you are not wearing a bathing suit."
"Don't own one." That's believable. Riley subtly backs away from her, but she stays with him. Riley tries to steer this encounter into neutral territory.
"Things going well with Missy?" he asks.
"She'll come around. What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You seem—I don't know..." Starting up a new television show comes with a lot of responsibility and pressure. Arlene doesn't know about any of that, Riley assumes.
"It's probably just job stress," he reasons.
"Well, I may not know a lot of things, but I do know how to take a man's mind off his troubles with his work," Arlene says, adding, "Or his wife. I sure hope I ain't causing any problems between the two of you." She isn't, but she continues to close the gap between her and Riley.
"Why would you say that?" He backs ever closer to the edge of the pool.
"Paige ain't got no use for me," Arlene states flatly. Paige has her concerns, but Riley knows he needs to play this cool.
"She's fine with you," he says. Arlene presses on with her case.
"No, she likes life to be like a starched white shirt. Then I come along, just one big ol' wrinkle." She moves even closer. Riley's back connects to the pool's edge. "Everything you're doing for me," Arlene continues, pressing even closer, "I hope there's some way you'll let me show my appreciation. Maybe help you with all that stress." It's a cheesy line. Riley hates himself for getting aroused but his body's response to Arlene's trailer park seduction can't be denied.
"You don't have to do anything. I have just a lot going on at work."
If Riley had any doubts about Arlene's intentions, they go right out to the street and down the hill when she reaches under the surface with her free hand, gropes Riley's package and says, "Feels like you got a lot going on everywhere."
"Kind of you to notice, but..." Before he can finish, Arlene jams her tongue into his mouth and puts her kung fu grip into motion. He resists at first, but hey, she started it. After a minute of mouth-to-mouth, he slips off his trunks and spins her around. She clutches the concrete patio edge for balance as Riley gets to know her better.
"Cheese and crackers!" Arlene yelps.
"Something wrong?" Riley asks.
"That's a little north of where I thought you was going." Apparently, Riley went in through the out door.
"If you don't like it, I'll stop," he says. Arlene settles in.
"Just 'cause I don't like it don't mean I won't do it."
"That's a great line," he compliments her. "Can I use that?"
"You can use anything you want."
"I think we've established that." Now that everyone is comfortable, Riley picks up the pace.
"What do you think your wife would say if she saw you doin' me like that?" Arlene asks between breaths. And then...
"Riley!" There's Paige, standing above them in the luxurious bathrobe she snatched from the Four Seasons the morning of the Emmys. Riley stops moving but doesn't back away from Arlene.
"Oh, shit," he says. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I swear this has never happened before. I wasn't thinking."
"At least one of us was," Paige says, tossing a condom to the ground. "Are you going to be much longer?"
With blinding speed, Riley unwraps the condom and performs the impossible by putting it on under water. In no time flat, he is back in business.
"I don't know," he says. "Like five minutes?" 'Five minutes?' Arlene silently mouths, flinching on Riley's reentry.
"Don't take too long," Paige says. "We've got an early morning."
"Love you," Riley says.
"Love you, too. Hey, Arlene."
Paige wanders off to bed. Riley picks up where he left off, with a renewed focus. Arlene is in full WTF. She couldn't have known that Paige and Riley have an open marriage. Whatever she thought she would achieve by seducing Riley will not happen. She considers aborting the sex, but on second thought, she's having a good time. Might as well close her eyes and enjoy it.
WTF, indeed.