Today is a new day.
For two years I've been waking up and telling myself that, sometimes happy to be alive another day, but mostly begging for the Universe to just take me away. For three years I've been mourning the death of my mom, who left the world way too soon. I've been wasting three years of my life letting sadness overcome me.
Except I don't have to anymore. I have Gray, and today is truly a new day. I see everything in a whole new light. Gray looks so at ease, and I couldn't imagine a better morning than one where I'm in his strong, protective arms. I feel safe with him here, feel safer than I ever have, lying here. Just the two of us. Together at last.
The sun is peeking through the window, and I know Gray hates sleeping without the curtains drawn because the sun shines in and wakes him up. It's never bothered me though; I've always enjoyed watching the sun's colors bleed into the midnight indigo sky, blooming into a blend of breathtaking reds and oranges that bring the dawn of a new day.
Gray yawns, no doubt awakened by the bright rays shining through the bedroom window. I turn my head and smile at him, wrapping my thin fingers around his cold hands, which are tied like a ribbon around my waist, resting on my naked abdomen.
It feels different lying here beside Gray, cuddling with him like this. We've cuddled before. That night we shared our first kiss, Gray held me in his arms all night, and the next night I couldn't sleep. Instead longing for Gray's warm body heat to radiate into me and make me shine like the morning sun. Yet today, everything's changed. I've shared a part of myself with Gray that nobody else will probably ever know. I've grown closer to him than anyone else in the world. I gave him something nobody else will ever have. I was a virgin last night. However, the moment Gray's lips touched mine, I knew that it was the right time. I knew that he was the one I wanted to share this moment with because ever since I met him it felt like we'd known each other our entire lives. And he treated me with such delicate kindness, inquiring again and again to see if I was comfortable. From the first kiss of our evening to the last breath of passion, I was sure I'd made the right decision.
"I should probably get dressed," I say, realizing his parents may walk in on us any minute, and I don't want them to see my thin naked figure tangled up in their son's sheets.
I get up from the bed and scurry off to the bathroom with my night bag in hand, my cheeks blushing shyly at the idea of me running nude in the morning light.
I look at myself in the giant mirror on the wall, taking in the figure in front of me. My hair, face, body – ever part of me looks exactly the same as it did the night before. Yet inside my heart is racing and I feel this profound connection to Gray that I never felt before. It's stronger than love, stronger than any emotion I've ever felt before. An emotion that brings me to thoughts of holding hands with Gray in public, kissing him in cafes, and watching him propose to me on a sparkling dinner cruise. Thoughts of getting married under an oak arch in a dew-dropped early autumn forest. Thoughts of buying a house that we adore, a house that will become our home, the place where we will grow old together. Thoughts of having a dog as jovial and enthusiastic as Tessa, and maybe even adopting a child or two. Thoughts of forging a life together.
One gentle tear trails down my cheek, and I swiftly wipe it away with a tissue from the box on the sink. Afterward I take a long morning piss and rummage through my night bag to find a fresh pair of briefs, my favorite fluffy cotton pajama pants, and a loose tee that hangs over my lanky frame. Making my way back into the bedroom, I find that Gray has closed the curtains and fallen back to sleep. It appears he managed to clean his bedroom up a bit before passing out. My clothes are folded neatly on the floor beside the windowsill, and my heart grows warm with delight at how thoughtful my boyfriend is.
I lay my thin frame on the windowsill, muddling the blankets to make it appear that I slept there the entire night. For a few minutes, I stare at the large white ceiling, never one to fall asleep as quickly as Gray. Thoughts of last night race through my mind, reminded of how Gray's dazzling green eyes looked down at me, the ceiling a mere blur in the heat of the moment. I wish we could cuddle forever, but I don't want to get him in trouble, especially after his parents were so generous last night.
Gradually, my eyes falter, their last gaze on Gray's sleeping figure, his body calm as a steady breeze. I take in his sturdy chest heaving up and down with lights puffs of breath. The movement of his long brawny legs while he sleeps elicits a soft laugh. I trace the happy trail of blond hairs up his abs, staring up at his face to see his lips curling into a slight smile, putting me at peace before my eyelids shut and I enter dreams of Gray and me and nothing in between.