*Words in italics are flashbacks.
When Ruhan woke up in the morning as usual he had no idea that the day will remain in his memory for forever.
He hanged the camera in his neck and left the hotel room in search of a perfect shot.
The gateways of Greece has hardly changed from last time he visited it. The white houses across the Santorini island was breathtakingly beautiful and soothing.
He took a deep breath and suddenly that memory of meeting her for the first time flashed making him feel shallow within.
It wasn't the pain anymore. It was some sort of helplessness situation which made him feel worse than death.
Closing his eyes and composing himself he just moved aimlessly searching that shot.
****.*****
"I never have ever felt this special in my life. You made me feel that. I have never felt this happy in my life. You make me happy"
Pari was standing in front of him with the hopes pouring down as tears. He looked at her with that helpless feel.
"I love you Ruhan. You are the first boy who ever made me feel the need of being loved. I.... " she swallowed the sore lump.
"I don't know what you feel for me. But for me you are very special person" she smiled at him.
"Don't do this to me" he requested her. "I can't return you the feelings ever" he nodded his head.
"I know" she smiled and that was such a painful smile. She was his friend and he never wished to see her in this state.
"But I still love and I can't...." her cry gave up. "I can't make it stop" she looked into his eyes.
Ruhan dragged her into a warm hug and patted her head to console her. "I can't see you like this. I'm ready to give us a chance. I want this to work so badly" he honestly admitted and Pari nodded her head still in his embrace hugging him more tightly.
****.****
The cold breeze touched his face and he flapped his eye lashes coming out of the memory.
Isn't it lovely, all alone?
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
Some pains never leave us. They become part of us.
***.***
"I'm so happy for you" Mishti hugged Pari when she announced that she and Ruhan have decided to get married to the whole family.
Ruhan looked at her blankly. Wasn't she aware of his feelings? Then why is she behaving like it doesn't matter to her.
Then he realized that it really doesn't matter to her because she never had feelings for him. It was always him who nurtured those feelings.
"Congrats" she stood in front of him with a huge smile on her face and glittery eyes. She was so happy that her commitment phobic sister was finally settling down.
Mishti was always the woman who wanted the best for her family. Though initially she disliked Ruhan the time made her realize her that he is not that bad and there were lot many misunderstandings between them which took time but cleared completely.
He smiled weakly at her hiding his pain and shook her hand. Again the same feelings arouse in his heart and he wished the time to stop as he kept gazing at her.
Ansh walked and hugged Ruhan and he landed back to reality. He smiled at Ansh patting his back.
***.****
Ruhan continued to shade the sketch he had drawn in his sketch book. It was a beautiful angel with wings of fire.
If he could go back in time and change one thing in his life then it would be the day he met her.
May be he would have been not happy but at least he would have been spared of this life wrecking pain in his heart now.
The day he saw her and got drawn to her and then capturing her face in his camera for the first time untying her hair. The annoyance on her face which only went on growing with their subsequent meetings, the first kiss on his cheek all that had a special place in his heart and he cherished every moment of it.
****.*****
"Something isn't fitting" he walked on the terrace with a glass of Champaign.
Mishti who was startled looked at him with confusion.
"You are as silent as the silence before the storm." he looked at her amused as she glared him.
"It wasn't funny at all" she rolled her eyes and turned front to look at the city lights.
"I know. I am very bad at cracking jokes. But you could have smiled at least" he looked at her sipping the drink.
"Like this" she smiled at him bringing her eyelids together in a funny way.
He coughed on the drink he was sipping..
"And this is what happens when you drink alone" she showed her tongue. But she felt concerned when his coughs did not stop.
She moved to him patting his head while his coughs subsided and he kept staring her.
She looked at the sky again.
"thanks" he smiled weakly and stared at the sky.
"Mumma used to always tell that she will be watching over me. I hope she is happy seeing me. I hope I haven't disappointed her" Ruhan looked at her.
"She must be the most proud lady now. She must be beaming with happiness. You know Why?" he waited Her to see him.
"Because you are happy. More than anything she wants you to see happy. Not the success you have achieved, not the awards you win. She wants to see you smile with your heart" he smiled at her warmly.
"She really wants that?" she asked with a tear developing in her eyes.
"Yes" he nodded his head. "Can I have a hug?" she looked at him emotionally.
He hugged her rubbing her shoulder. That was a heavenly feeling to have her in his embrace. She brought that peace to his heart which it was searching from ages.
****.*****
"I'm worried for Mishti" Pari said while she was sitting in a cafe with Ruhan on coffee date.
He sipped the coffee and looked at her confused.
"She is unusually silent Now a days"
Pari looked worried and it made sense to Ruhan.
"Don't worry. I will talk to her" he patted her hand and she smiled at him.
"Mishti" Ruhan knocked the room door.
"Ruhan. Pari isn't home yet. I will tell her to meet you once she returns" she stood in front of him.
"I came to talk to you" he said and she let him walk inside the room.
"Everything alright?" he asked her. "Just the way I want. Perfect" she smiled at him.
"Pari told me that you aren't yourself from many days. I was also convinced because you aren't getting annoyed with me from a long time now" he chuckled a bit.
"So if I argue with you I will be normal?" she asked him.
"Probably" he smiled.
"You and your to be wife have only one job. To over think and over worry about the things" she nodded her head.
"Mishti" he held her hands and she looked at him.
"I want you to know that you can always count on me. I will be there whenever you need me" he smiled at her.
She nodded her head positively.
He patted her one cheek and walked out of the room giving her a smile.
He wasn't happy that there was a friendship between them but at least something which kept them together though not near.
He looked at the pictures in his laptop and the memories of his encounter with Mishti.
Love can be so painful also if he knew then he would have never fallen for it if he could control it.
The days for Veer and Mishti's marriage was nearing and that hollow space in his heart was just going on increasing.
Pari made him forget his pain for sometimes but it wasn't giving him a permanent solution.
As per the muhurats Pari and Ruhan's marriage was planned before Mishti and Veer's marriage.
Veer was in London busy setting up his new business and home.
Pari had arranged a family dinner at the terrace and all were sitting down and Ruhan was carrying the food.
"You brought the coke?" Pari asked him when he was about to settle down..
"Ahhh. It just went out of my mind" he said hitting his forehead.
"Mr. Bhulakkad. Go get it" Pari nodded her head and Ruhan walked back to the home.
When he took the bottles in his hands he heard sobs. He narrowed his eyebrows.
There was no one at home except Mishti at home right now. She was back from a business party so refused to have the dinner and walked to her room earlier.
He tiptoed and stood near the door of her room.
"I'm sorry mumma" she hiccuped. "I lied that I'm happy." she choked.
"You know I tried a lot but the pain is intolerable. I can't handle it anymore. It hurts." she sobbed.
He felt an urge to rush to her but stopped when he heard her further...
"I can't stop my feelings from growing... I can't stop loving him... I can't tell Ruhan that I love him" his heart felt taking a high leap.
"Ruhan...." Pari walked inside the home and Mishti jerked and looked behind her where Ruhan was standing still with tears at the bay.
"How long will you take to bring the drinks? " Pari reached him.
He was still looking at Mishti who was looking at him shocked.
She feared whether he heard what she said.
"What's happening?" Pari asked confused looking at their expressions.
"Nothing.... I was just telling Mishti that how you look like a monkey in the morning" he smiled and Pari fumed and looked at Mishti and she nodded her head weakly.
"And you are silent hearing that Mishti?" Pari asked miffed.
"No... I...." Mishti tried convincing her.
"Let Veer jeejs come back I will form my team with him and you will see how we will win always" Pari showed her tongue.
"In your dreams" Ruhan chuckled and Pari chased him.
Mishti collapsed on the bed. She was scared that Ruhan heard what she spoke but she wasn't sure until she received a text from Ruhan to meet him on the terrace.
She typed a reply but did not send it thinking it is better to avoid him.
"If I don't see you in three minutes. I will make sure to wake the whole family" her heart stopped beating when she read the text.
She tiptoed and walked to the terrace.
The wind was wild.
"What is wrong with you Ruhan? I thought you are not that bad a person but I have change my perception about you now" she was silenced when Ruhan's index finger touched her lips and she silently stared into his eyes bound to some spell.
"Enough of your 'I don't give a damn attitude' alright?" he looked at her.
"What do you think if you talk to me rudely and hide your feelings behind that fake anger of yours I can't see that... I can't see that pain?" his eyes developed tears.
"If you thought so then Ms.Mishti. you are completely mistaken it. You can't hide your real feelings from me" he nodded his head.
She pushed him a bit. "What nonsense are you talking Ruhan? Have you forgotten you are engaged to Pari and I am engaged to Veer. And why the hell are assuming things?" she threw her hands in air.
"You love me" he looked into her eyes and those magnetic eyes did not let her to even bat Her eye lashes for a second.
"And that's no nonsense" he said as his face turned red with the raising anger and more than that the pain.
"Are you out of your mind?" Mishti screamed.
" I don't love you. I will never ever do that" she said controlling the pain in her throat.
"Then what were you talking to the portrait of your mother? were you telling a lie to your deceased mother that you aren't happy and you can't stop loving me?" he neared her and she stepped back.
She looked away to avoid answering his question.
"Tell me dammit" he screamed and she shuddered hearing his voice.
He looked at her and hated himself for scaring her .
"I'm.... I am sorry.... " he raised his palm apologizing.
"Don't.... Don't take a step more" she warned him.
"If you do that everything will change... " she looked at him painfully.
"And I don't want it to change" she nodded her head.
"If you dare to back of from your decision to marry Pari I swear I will end my life" she looked into his eyes.
"Why are you doing this to me? You know how badly I was wishing that you will have the same feeling as me. You will also love me the way I do from so long. How badly I never wanted to give up on running behind you. Waiting for you. Do you have slightest idea how fast is my heart beating right now?" he held her hand and placed it over his chest aligning it to his heart.
She looked at her hand and then his painful eyes.
"I love you... I love you a lot. Everytime I see you I feel that pain of not being near you. The pain to see you going away from me. It kills me each second Mishti that I have this feeling and you did not had the pinch of it also. Or you pretended so" his tears found the way to travel on his cheek.
She felt weak looking at him that way.
"I can't do this Ruhan. I can't. I have a perfect life and I don't want it to change" she looked into his eyes.
"Why did you come in my life? Why? To leave me shattered like this? Are you happy now that I'm neither dying and nor living without you?" he asked her.
She wanted to crash herself in his embrace but stopped herself pursing her lips biting them as hard as she can.
"I said I don't want anything to change" she said and he left her hand which dropped and he back walked looking at her intensely.
"I hate you... I hate you for being stubborn and not accepting your feelings which will bring me out of this pain. For being so selfish ignoring that I'm literally dying in front of you" he spat her.
She smiled painfully.
"But I hate myself more that I still love you. Knowing that you can only break me. Knowing that my pain doesn't even make you flinch. I hate myself" he banged his fist on wall and it started bleeding.
"Ruhan...."Mishti took a step towards him concerned.
"Don't.... Don't you dare to take a step. If you do that I will promise you. That I will destroy myself" he warned her and she looked at him painfully.
She collapsed on the floor while he walked out of there closing the terrace door with a bang.
****.***
The marriage preparations were on full swing and Ruhan was growing colder and colder towards Mishti. She also avoided him to an extent it was humanly possible for her.
It was the night when the mandap was decorated and all the guest were waiting for the bride to arrive at the mandap.
Pari was all smiles and she sat beside Ruhan and the Pandit started chanting the mantras.
"Ruhan?" they heard a voice and looked in front of them.
***.****
Ruhan's phone rang and he smiled looking at the mobile screen.
"You know you have terrible timing Mr. Bhulakkad" he smiled hearing Pari's voice.
"I do" he nodded his head.
"I am waiting in the restaurant from half an hour if you forgot" she said and he closed his eyes face palming.
"I did not forgot alright. I am on my way. Just another fifteen minutes" he looked at his watch.
"Don't turn that into an hour" she spoke and disconnected the call.
He held his camera and ran towards the taxi stand.
He boarded the taxi to reach the restaurant.
"Sorry... Sorry... " he apologized reaching her and sitting opposite Her.
"You are saved as you are late by just a minute" he turned to her left where Arnav was smiling at him.
****.****
"What?" Pari was shocked when she heard Veer. She held the garland in her hands and tears streamed down her eyes.
"I thought you both are together and happy" Veer sadly said.
Ruhan remembered the night Pari proposing him and Mishti leaving the terrace without speaking..
"She said that she can't cheat me with her feelings. She loved Ruhan and she will always love him only" Veer sadly remembered Mishti's confession when he was leaving to London.
"Why did she hid such big thing from us that you both break up? Why?" Pari asked painfully.
"Because she did not wanted to snatch me from you" Ruhan looked at Pari.
"But she failed to realize that it was her. And it will be always Her" he cocked his head at one side painfully.
"Pari dee" Ansh came running to the mandap with a letter.
Pari opened it to read.
"Dearest sister.
By the time you get this letter I will be gone from here.
Remember one thing it is my decision. And nobody is responsible for this.
I love you all and will love you forever.
Mishti... "
Pari collapsed as she finished reading the letter.
"Why did you this Mishti? why?" she cried. Dadi tried consoling her.
"She always felt you deserved all the happiness of the world baby and she will go to any extent to bring that happiness in your life" she wiped Pari's tears.
Pari gathered herself and stood in front of Ruhan.
"Pari... I..... "
"Shhh" she signed him to be quite.
"You know what will make me really happy?" she looked at him bending her head.
"Go.... Now" she pushed him and he ran out of the mandap breaking the garland.
He drove his jeep and headed towards the airport hoping she will be there.
"I lost her.... I lost her Pari" he hugged Pari when he returned defeated not finding her anywhere.
"Don't lose hope Ruhan. The way you can't live without her I'm sure she can't live without you too" Pari consoled him.
From then his search never ended.
Pari and Arnav got married and Veer found a soul mate too.
And Ruhan kept searching for his Mishti....
****.****
He was in Jaipur with a photoshoot project of a royal marriage.
Finally the moment arrived when he saw her again after five years of search operation.
She was looking after the arrangements as a wedding planner.
"Excuse me" he stood there waiting for her to turn.
His voice never left her mind and she was rooted in her place.
She turned with her eyes filled.
"I'm here with a business proposal" he said and it was evident that his emotions were at the verge of bursting.
"Actually" he neared her and she did not move still grasping the moment.
"I am such an idiot. I under estimated your smartness that night. I should have known that you will take the train route thinking that we will not reach you from the airport" he said seriously.
"You know what? " he held her by her wrist and dragged her towards him and she landed on his chest looking into his intense eyes.
"I'm tired.... I'm tired of running behind you. I give you two options" he said sternly.
"Either plan a wedding of our daughter or plan a wedding or our son in future" she looked at him
"And this time I will not let you go.... " he said looking into her eyes.
"Don't you even try" he tightened his grip on her wrist as she tried releasing herself from his hold.
"I still hate you for being this stubborn" he touched her forehead with his. She cooled down.
"But that makes you love you more each second. I fell in love with you more deeply each second and each day. And I will continue to do that. you can't stop me" he said and she chuckled a bit as the tears flew down her cheeks..
He pecked her lips and she closed her eyes and opened them to look into his eyes wher there was love. A never ending limitless love. And it was only for her.
It feels like a tear in my heart
Like a part of me missing
And I just can't feel it
I've tried and I've tried
And I've tried
Tears on my face I can't take it
If lonely is a taste then it's all that I'm tasting
Do you hear my cry?
I cry, oh
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
Just wrap me in your arms, in your arms
I don't wanna be nowhere else
Take me from the dark, from the dark
I ain't gonna make it myself
Put your arms around me
Put your arms around me
Let your love surround me
I am lost
I am lost
If I ain't got you here
If I ain't got you, I ain't got nothing at all
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me?
Can you hold me in your arms?
****.****
I hope you people have liked it. It's long I know. Sorry for that. 😂😂😂😂😂
Song : Can you hold me? By Nathan John Feuerstein featuring Britt Nicole
Cover credits RedSnowFall_
Thank you for this beautiful cover. 😍😘