hey, my loves! just popping in to apologize for the longest wait for a chapter. there has been so much shit happening and this chapter was extremy hard to write as i was afraid that i would not do finn's death justice. so here's a long chapter.
uh, happy reading?
also, how amazing is this gif (below) of bell and emily? its incredible! thank you, thomasangsters !! be sure to check out their other stuff <3
[ 2.13. SPACEWALKER, PT II ]
-
SOMEHOW, THE WAIT to my appointment with Abby is long; it seems like plenty of people are getting work injuries or are still recovering from the landing
I sit just outside medical, patiently waiting for my que. It's silent in the corridor, besides the quiet hum of the Ark and the buzz from its inhabitants. I am alone in the dull grey room, twiddling with the strap of my rifle and restlessly tapping my foot on the floor. The atmosphere stays tense ever since Clarke's arrival with the news from the Commander - I try to zone my worry about Finn out and instead think of anything else.
For example, I contemplate finally asking Abby if I can rejoin the staff as a medic, as not that long ago, I had finished my training. (Only to go to Earth right after, but I'm fine, we're fine.) It's something I actually wanted to pursue in my life, but, lately, I've just been on guard duty, a weapon etched into my hands ever since we actually found them a while ago.
That is, if my little eye problem allows me to. To be a doctor, I had to go through many medical examinations myself and I passed all of them, but now, I'll have to see what Abby says. It actually does worry me; what if she doesn't allow me to get that job?
I grow more impatient by the second, now really nervous about the checking. My foot stops hitting the floor and my knee begins to bounce up and down instead, but my internal tantrum is interrupted by an approaching shadow and then, a voice, ''Are you okay? Do I need to ask for Abby?''
My head snaps up in wonder and my eyes lock with someone else's. I'm a little taken aback by the girl's slight accent, as people on the Ark rarely have one; the languages were forgotten quickly and everyone speaks clean english, however, she doesn't - there's a slight foreign hint in the way she talks.
''No, no, it's fine,'' I quickly recover and my eyes trail down to the bucket and mop in her hands, ''Need help with that? I could use a distraction.''
The girl shakes her head and smiles, putting the bucket down, ''Nah, thanks. There's nothing much to do, I just clean floors, really.''
I lightly chuckle at her enthusiasm, leaning my head back down. With the corner of my eye I see her grin, too, ''What's your name?''
She carelessly dips the mop in the bucket of water, before lightheartedly swiping it across the floor, ''Elizabeth Vitalyenko at your service,'' she announces, ''but the kids call me Janitor Liz.''
''I like the sound of that,'' I laugh, then it's silent. Uh, what do I tell her now?
''Trust me when I say-'' Elizabeth swipes several black strands of hair away from her face, ''-that I tolerate it just because they're kids. And, well, the fact is that it's true. You're Emily, right?'' I nod in response, and, upon seeing the confused raise of my eyebrows, she continues, ''You're well known here, you and your friends. I hear you all get in a lot of trouble?''
''Well, that's one way to put it. I literally don't remember the last time I spent a day, thinking, ah I can catch a break. But atleast I have my friends, you know. It's been really hard lately.'' I trail off, gazing out of the window panel. Sure enough, the view far behind it is blurred. My eyes trail back down to my lap and the gun resting on it.
''I can only imagine. You have no idea how peaceful it is, cleaning floors.''
I snort quietly, ''I wish I did. I might have to think about this and actually join you when all of this is over.''
Elizabeth shakes her head in amusement, casting me a glance, ''Be my guest. Then they'll call you Janitor Em.''
As we share a few more laughs, the flaps to the clinic are pushed aside by Jackson, ''Emily, Abby can see you now.''
I jump up from the chair, nodding. I follow Jackson into medical, waving goodbye at Elizabeth. The fun is over, and now, I'm back to worrying about my eyesight.
I walk across the room and approach Abby's workspace, where she is putting away and collecting different tools. The room is pretty quiet, with Jackson back to walking around and talking to other patients in a hushed tone.
''Hey, Abby,'' I greet when I'm at her side, making her turn to me. Right away, she calls a greeting back and leads me to sit down. A flaslight is quickly grabbed and she picks up a pen and a clipboard with a blank sheet on it.
''Bellamy told me you were exposed to the fog,'' Abby states, scribbling something down. When she's done, the doctor gives me a look, ''Why didn't you tell me sooner? Bellamy had to come to me himself.''
''There are more important things that need to be taken care of,'' I mumble, dissatisfied. However, the thought of Bellamy actually asking Abby to check on me makes my heart race.
Abby shakes her head, clicking her pen, ''Your health is important, Emily. Now tell me what happened.''
With a sigh, I straighten up on the bed and explain, ''It was the last time the fog appeared. I was being stupid and just stayed outside for a moment too long. When I rinsed my eyes out, it was much better.'' I try to assure her, my voice raising on octave.
The older woman writes it down, nodding, ''Yes, I remember Clarke telling me Bellamy had taken eyedrops from here. I didn't realize it was you who needed them,'' she stands up and shines the little light in my eyes, before writing something else down, ''Have your eyes been more sensitive to light?''
I blink away the coat of fresh tears in my eyes.
''No?''
Abby frowns at me, unimpressed.
''Okay, yes, a little. But there's no irritation besides that, just when I look at the sun or a lamp for too long. I also can't really see as far as I used to, it's blurry. But only long distance!'' I admit, trying to assure her that I'm fine. Again, Abby jots down a few words on her clipboard, before standing up and gesturing for me to follow. She turns me by my shoulders to face a poster on the wall, and gives me a piece of plastic to cover an eye with.
''I want you to tell me what letter this is.''
Shit.
-
After what felt like hours of Abby scolding me, I finally dropped the question that was bothering me a lot lately.
Her response? It wasn't what I had expected, actually, especially even after she spent many, many long minutes of interrogating me on reasons why I hadn't let her known about my incident sooner. Nonetheless, she seemed supportive and understanding of my choice to get back to this job, but she still told me to focus on what's happening at the moment, including the well being of my eyes, which, unfortunately, would most likely not go back to how they were, and maybe then, I could finally become a nurse again.
So, obviously, I am back to holding a gun in my hands, just like it's been rolling for a few weeks now. Truth be told, being on guard duty is quite boring, though; you just stand in front of an object or walk around the camp until someone takes over your shift, and rarely anything interesting happens, as most of the Arkadians don't seek for conflict until it gets too serious.
Today, however, I would have rather spent the day wandering around pointlessly, instead of actually having to witness the events this day would bring.
Meaning, I would have loved it if the grounders hadn't arrived to our gate, a threatening chant of many other voices following them.
I am on duty besides the supply tent today, but I take a few minute break for food and ask a colleague to cover for me while I'm gone, but, when the haunting chant reaches my ears, I drop the metal cup I'm holding in my hands and head back towards the tent. When I arrive, the guard in my position prepares to leave, but I rush out an apology and tell him to stay for a little while.
I push aside the flaps as I make a bet to myself that the guard won't be staying there for long, as everyone rushes towards the gates, but my main priority is warning Clarke and Finn, who had been in the tent not long before I left for a break.
''Clarke,'' I call her name as she almost runs into me while exitting the tent, ''we got a problem.''
I meet her concerned eyes as she nods and then turn to Finn, who's pushing himself up from the ground. I theatrically grip my rifle in both hands and gesture for them to follow me, right as Clarke announces to Finn, ''We have to get you inside.''
They begin to jog to the entrance of the station and the chants begin to pick up in volume. After a second of staring at the two horses just by the gate, I shudder as it feels like the two men's eyes are following my every move. I swallow and tighten the grip on my weapon, running after Clarke and Finn. The main task is to get the boy to safety of guarded quarters, and it only takes about a minute, before I'm already out of the metal structure again, this time accompanied by Clarke and Abby, who are a few feet behind me.
Bellamy is already standing by the doors along with a few other guards and he takes a second to send an encouraging nod my way; I return one with a pathetic excuse of a smile, which drops quicker than it appears. As soon as the two Griffin women have caught up, Bellamy shouts, ''They're just trying to scare us.''
From his left, I mumble, ''Well, they're doing a good job with that.''
When I look over my shoulder, I see Clarke give Abby a small smile and squeeze her hand tightly. My heart swells and as much as I don't want to ruin the moment, I softly call out, ''Abby? We have to give them the answer.'' A part of it is true - we need to let them know about the final verdict, but it's my own curiosity that leads me to act as the older woman's bodyguard, as I want to hear it myself. While I'm confident that Abby would never give Finn up, a part of me that still sees my friend in the boy is worried.
And so, I follow right behind Abby with lightly shaking legs. My hands, however, are steady as I raise my rifle just a little and try my best to hide under a blank, emotionless facade.
''Open the gate!'' Abby commands, not slowing down for a second; her strides are quick and confident, and I silently cheer for that. Showing fear is not something you want to give the grounders. Ironically, it is me who almost jumps when a figure appears on my left, but my heart still continues racing when I realize it's only Bellamy. This time, a smile I send his way is a little more genuine than earlier. Detecting motion from the other side, too, I turn my head and lock eyes with Clarke. Their presence is enough to make me feel safer immediately, even when the gate is wide open and the masked grounders are only several feet away from me.
''Where's the boy?'' One of them asks.
''We're not giving him up,'' Abby states confidently, ''We're ready to fight, if that's what it comes to.''
And then, as if the rest of the grounders had heard our announcement, a slightly familiar noise surrounds the camp. A horn. I watch as the two men leave on their horses and retreat to the woods and the gate shuts immediately.
''Watch the woods!'' Bellamy yells suddenly, ''Watch for movement!''
Distracted and full of confusion, I slowly raise my gun to my face and peek through the scope. Suddenly, my thoughts are focused on how hot Bellamy sounds when he shouts. Emily, no, I think, now is not the time.
Mentally scolding myself and the messed up timing, I stay close to Bell and Clarke as I scan the woods, until the latter finally says something that helps me get rid of my current thoughts, ''Guys.''
When I glance at her to ask what's up, she nods to the forest. My head snaps back to face it and my finger instinctively finds its way to the trigger. I have to refrain from actually pulling it in a complete state of shock when a voice comes from the blurred silhouette that's approaching the camp, ''Don't shoot! Don't!''
My arms absentmindedly lower and my line of sight is trained on the figure that finally shows itself from behind a rock. Though my eyes can't seem to actually focus on the man's face, the voice is enough to actually make me shake.
''Oh, my God,'' Is all that forcefully tumbles past my lips as my hands threaten to give out and drop the gun. My senses cancel everything else out as I stand there, frozen.
Only another voice, soft and gentle, manages to actually reach my ears, ''Em.'' Before I know it, someone has taken ahold of my weapon and the gate is open.
And when the figure is close enough for me to see their face, I meet their eyes.
''Dad.'' I gasp out, voice breaking. Then, I run.
I run as fast as I can and even though he's not that far away from me, I don't slow down until we finally meet in the middle and his arms are secured around me. I cling to him as tight as I can, hands grabbing onto the material of his jacket. Tears prickle my eyes as my dad's arms tighten around my shoulders and he ruffles my ponytail.
''Hey, sweetheart.''
And it's enough to set the waterworks free; my body shakes with the silent sobs that take over me and my chest physically hurts from the relief I feel upon finally seeing my father again. I want to scold myself for putting my concerns about him at the back of my head after hearing the Commander's guarantee about his life, but right now, I don't have time for that. All that matters is that I'm back in my dad's arms and I don't give a single fuck about our fight when we last saw each other.
When he gently pushes me away to take a look at my face, I let out a lighhearted laugh through the sobs, ''I'm so sorry, dad, I didn't mean any of it, I-''
''Hey, it's okay, I promise,'' He brushes back my hair, before he himself chuckles, ''It's nice to actually hear you calling me dad again.''
A completely unattractive sound between a laugh and a sob escapes me, but I don't have time to feel embarrassed as I lean into my dad's side, while he wraps an arm around my shoulders again and begins to walk further into the camp. I grin through my tears when he presses a light kiss to my forehead and smiles at Abby, and I decide to give them some space.
I walk back up to my friends with my mouth pulled in a face splitting grin, a lighthearted giggle escaping my lips. My eyes lock with Bellamy's only to see him holding two rifles, which confuses me-
Oh. That's my gun. He was the one to take it from my hands. As soon as I reach him, he stretches his hand to give the rifle back, and I notice that he, too, is smiling down at me.
I sheepishly throw the strap around my shoulder, stupidly grinning all throughout the process. My dad's voice is still heard in the background as he greets his colleagues and I pause in front of Clarke and Bellamy, sighing happily. The latter shakes his head and glances at the blonde, who in turn is staring at Bellamy, a knowing look in her eyes.
"What?" I ask defensively, my voice an octave too high for my liking as I lock eyes with my father while he's still talking to Abby. He grins.
''Nothing. We should head back in,'' Bellamy informs, suddenly serious, before he takes a few steps toward Abby and my father, ''We need to get somewhere safe.''
I stand next to him, nodding slowly. My dad's eyes flicker from me to Bellamy, and a small laugh escapes his nose, ''It's safe for the moment.'' The action reminds me of how it's easily a trait the two of us share; I Instincively blow air out of my nose exactly like he had, only for completely different reasons, if I took his hint correctly.
When my dad says he's gotten us a little more time, I'm confused, but then I realize; he must be talking about our Finn situation. He gestures for Abby to follow him and we, Clarke, Bell and I, go after them. The Griffin girl soon parts ways with us and leaves to go in other direction, leaving Bellamy and I alone as we make our way to the Council room.
''So, your dad's back.'' Bellamy states. There's an awkward hint to his words which makes me frown in confusion.
''Yeah,'' I drawl out cautiously, ''I'm glad he is.''
The man beside me nods thoughtfully right as we reach the room in which Abby's and my father's meeting is going to be held; the doors close behind them and we silently sit on the built in benches by the walls. The width of a hallway is between us when we stay on seats across from each other.
''Do you think your dad will help find a way out of this mess?'' Bellamy asks quietly. I tilt my head back up to glance at him and my cheeks heat up when I catch him already looking at me. The two of us avert our eyes almost sheepishly, though his gaze lingers a little longer.
''I don't know. I mean, I hope so,'' I let out a heavy sigh, starting to restelessly fiddling with the strap of my rifle, ''I don't want to lose any one of you, including Finn.''
''Any of us?'' Bellamy repeats louder, clearing his throat. I purse my lips, my eyes flickering to him momentarily as another sigh of mine escapes my lips and form a half-hearted smile on them.
''Any of you,'' I confirm, ''I care about you all. A lot. You included, Bell. Again, a lot.''
It's a statement that leaves my lips for the very first time; I don't think I've ever looked someone in the eye and told them I care. Well, in a way I just told Bellamy, atleast. Of course, every single one of my friends mean the world to me, but sometimes, just sometimes, there is a certain someone that you see in a completely other way than anyone else. And, in my case, I can freely say that for me, it's Bellamy. It's been Bellamy for some time now.
Not that I'd admit it out loud, though. I could never do that; it's too scary. I've never been good at the romance thing, so I try to escape it as much as I can. That's why my own words scare me - I never thought I would actually reveal something like that to Bellamy, even if it may seem like not that big of a deal. For a moment, I regret telling him that as I feel more vulnerable as ever; my arms close in around my rifle, hugging it to my chest as I realize I have never, ever felt this exposed before. A part of me is terrified about Bellamy being weirded out by the bomb I've dropped on him.
But then, he smiles, he smiles in a way I have never seen him smile before. Ever. I almost let myself believe that he might be the slightest bit flustered as he says, "I care about you too, Emily."
His words make my heart leap in my chest and it feels like I've swallowed the warmth of a sun and the excitement of hundreds of dancing butterflies and suddenly, I just want to jump over the hallway and fall into his arms.
However, I don't. Instead, I stay seated on the uncomfortable bench, grinning like the teenager I actually am. For a moment, I feel guilty about letting myself be all smiley over a guy, but, when I let my gaze slip to Bellamy again and see the way his eyes crinkle with the force of his grin, I shake my head with a quiet laugh.
"What's made you two so happy?" A female voice asks. I quickly recognize it as Raven, who begrudgingly plops down next to me. Her eyes flicker between the two of us again and a small smirk appears on her face, "Should I come back later?"
Bellamy and I both rush out our declining answers conspicuously fast, making Raven's smirk twist further. I have to refrain myself from smacking her, so, I clear my throat, "How are you feeling?"
"Just peachy," Her smile falters and she looks down at her hands in her lap, "totally amazing."
"Hey, we got this," Bellamy sends her an encouraging nod and I send a grateful smile his way, before clasping one of Raven's hands.
"We'll figure something out. We always do." I say, catching myself doubting my own promise. Still, no matter what, I have to stay strong for Raven, so, putting on the best smile I can, I lock my eyes with my friend's and squeeze her hand tighter.
With glazed over eyes, Raven nods, clearing her throat, "They been there a long time?"
"No," I shake my head, "But they're not gonna be there for hours."
Atleast I thought so in that moment. In all my 18 years of living, I have obviously seen meetings that took a lot longer than this one (considering my stepfather has been a councilman for as long as I can remember), though this one is still longer than I anticipated, so, when the doors finally slide open, Bell, Raven and I immediately jump up from our seats.
"What's happening?" Raven rushes out, following after Abby as the woman marches forward.
"You were in there a long time." Bellamy adds, falling into step at the other side of the chancellor. I quickly join, attempting to get as close to Abby as I can. Of course, I have to trail behind them.
Bellamy takes a step closer to the wall and jerks his chin to the space between him and the older woman, gesturing for me to occupy, "Why did it take so long?"
"There was a lot to talk about." Abby replies shortly, trying to pick up her pace. Her eyes stay fixed in front of her.
"Well," Raven speaks again, this time louder as the three of us finally block the chancellor's path, "What's going on?"
"There was a lot to talk about," Abby repeats sternly and I swallow. Her attitude only tells me that no matter what the outcome of this case is, it's not good.
"Hey, we are not turning him over to the groudners!" Announces Bellamy, stopping her by the shoulder. Her eyes widen and face twists in a scowl.
"Step aside, now."
When Bellamy takes a few seconds too long to obey Abby's orders, my arm drops down from my rifle and I grab his hand, slightly pulling it closer to me as a hint that he should stand down. I can't let him be locked up again, especially when it looks like Abby doesn't need a reason too serious to do so in the moment.
Bellamy's eyes flicker to our messily intertwined fingers and then he looks up, shuffling closer to the wall as Abby informs, "We're all trying to find a way out of this" She straightens up once again and prepares to leave, when her she glances at me, "Marcus wants to talk to you as soon as possible."
I blank quickly before nodding, my eyes following her every move as she walks away. Only when the older woman is far enough for us to be out of her earshot, Bell states, "They're gonna give him up."
"Then we have to make sure they don't." I mumble, my voice barely above a whisper as I vacantly stare at Abby's retreating figure.
-
"The dropship is our best and only shot at this, that's the one place we know and can actually hold until we come up with our next move."
"Getting to the dropship is the easy part, but figuring out what we do after that will be a little trickier. You have any ideas?" I ask Bellamy as we speed walk through the corridors, heading to find Clarke and Finn. I figure Bellamy has had a Plan B for quite some time now, or he came up with it right as we speak. Either way, it's impressive.
"Absolutely none. We'll worry about that later, now our main priority is getting Finn out of here," Bellamy lets out a sigh, before turning his head to face me, "Aren't you going to talk to your dad?"
I nod in confirmation right as we take a turn around a corner of another corridor and I finally spot Clarke and Finn, "I'm not going with you, it will be too suspicious if we all disappear. He can wait a few minutes, I'll just see you off. I will join you as soon as I can."
Bellamy is quick to shut down my proposal, our pace slowing down, "No, no way. The woods are being watched by the grounders more than ever, there's no chance I'm letting you head to the dropship alone. Either you stay here or you wait until I can come and get you."
I lower my voice as we are almost right next to the boy that's become a main target of many people and the blonde that's accompanying him, "Okay, but I better hear from you as soon as I can, okay?"
"Deal," Bellamy mumbles back, before calling Finn's name to get his attention, "You need to get out of here."
"Where would he go?" Clarke wonders fiercely.
Bellamy doesn't hesitate on answering, "The dropship."
I whisper a quiet c'mon to Finn, earning a nod back as we begin to make our way out of the spaceship. Clarke is the one that objects, "No! You know that this is the safest place for him right now."
"Clarke, they're all ready to give Finn up, they don't care what we have to say." I whisper shout, receiving a hum of approval from Bellamy.
"We can protect him at the dropship while we figure this thing out. Grab your gear and meet at Raven's gate in five, she's already working on cutting the power to the fence." He insists, leading our small group through the hallways. I spare a glance at Finn, quickly noticing how uncomfortable he actually looks as we discuss him as if he's not even present.
"Okay, but nobody's coming with me." Finn finally buts in.
I raise my eyebrows in confusion directed towards his train of thought and Bellamy seems to be thinking similarly to me, "That is not up for discussion."
"Look, no matter what you come up with, you have to let me know as soon as possible. Clarke, please, you know this is our only option right now, just trust Bellamy." I plead, stopping them all for a moment. There's a group of people that's staring at us from the other side of the corridor, so I try to make this as quick as possible.
"You're not coming?" Surprisingly, it's Finn who actually asks me the question, but I have no time to feel taken aback.
Instead, I shake my head, "No, I can't. That's why I'm asking you now to be careful and stick with these guys."
It's an unexpected decision I make, but a part of me is glad I do it; my arms wrap around Finn and I'm relieved when he returns the embrace, tightening his hold on me, "Don't do anything stupid, Finn."
"I'll try my best." He assures as we pull away from each other, exchanging small smiles.
"May we meet again," we both say.
Clarke is the next one I pull in for a hug, as it really appears to me that she needs one. Her shoulders are tense when we hold onto each other for comfort, but she relaxes almost right away.
"You know Bell wouldn't do anything to put Finn in danger, Clarke. Trust me and trust him, okay?" I smile, leaning back just enough to be able to meet her eyes. They shine with uncertainty and slight fear and it hits me how much she cares about Finn. I send her another encouraging nod which she returns as well as she can.
Next, of course, is Bellamy, who doesn't hesitate to bring me into his arms first; the action makes my chest tighten with emotion, "Good luck, Bell. I know you got this."
"Thanks," He whispers into my hair, "You, too, Em."
I nod and manage to pull the corners of my lips up once again, leaving my hands on his shoulders as I lean up on my tiptoes and place a spontaneous kiss on his cheek. It's not the first time I do it, but it still surprises me as it feels a lot more different now. Judging by the face Bellamy makes right as I mutter one last goodbye at them, preparing to leave, he feels the same way. However, I quickly shut the idea down.
The last thing I hear from them as I run back down the corridor I came from, is the way Bellamy clears his throat and asks, "What?"
-
"Abby said we had to talk. Urgently," I say, narrowing my eyes at the pacing figure of my dad, "So should we begin, or was it not that important?"
He halts suddenly, freezing on the spot. His head slowly tilts up an he heaves out a heavy sigh, taking only a couple of big strides to approach the table and sit down on one of the chairs.
"No, it is important. In fact, it will most likely change your view on our relationship and I just want to tell you that I understand if you're angry with me," my dad takes my hands in his and there's an apologetic glint in his eyes. My face twists into a scowl and I tilt my head, wary.
"Oh-kay?" I drag out the word with a nervous chuckle, "This sounds promising. So, what is it?"
The councilman takes a deep, shaky breath, before setting his eyes down at our hands, "You know the story of your parents, right?"
I blink, flabbergasted at the sudden wave of emotion his voice holds, as well as the blunt question directed towards me, "Of course, you told me it yourself."
I pause.
"Hold on, dad, if you're here to tell me some tale of them not being my parents, or, or, or.. I don't know, them being alive-"
My stepfather cuts me off with a lighthearted chuckle and I contemplate if it's his reaction to the irony of me calling him my dad during a conversation like this or the absurdity one of my theories holds.
"No, no, I would never- Look, your mother dying during your birth and your father being executed for the attack on the doctor is true. They are dead, no matter how this conversation goes," he forces out and I lean closer, squeezing his hands tighter.
He looks up at me and his eyes are glazed over, a shiny coat of fresh tears glistening in a reflection of the past and old memories resurfacing, taking the shape of ones tears.
He gathers up the strength to speak in an unwavering tone, "That's not the whole story, though. It never has been. And I really don't know how to tell you this, so I will just cut right through it."
"You're scaring me," I admit, chuckling through the unexpected pressure of emotion in my throat.
The man shakes his head, muttering, "Your brother.. He wasn't floated."
The words punch me in the gut with a force I can't compare to a single type of pain; it makes me flinch backwards and the pressure of the news builds up until my mouth drops open and words are pushed out of my mouth, "I'm sorry, what? What do you mean?"
My dad winces just as dramatically as I did, "I mean he did not die. He wasn't floated."
I am so shocked my hands restlessly shake in the hold of my father's, the vibration taking over my voice, too, "Is this a joke? How is it possible? I don't understand, was he reviewed? Where is he now? He's on the ground, right? I mean, the whole Ark is, of course he is-"
"Hey, slow down," he interrupts me cautiously, "I promise I will answer every question you have, just let me explain and then you can be as angry as you are."
When I nod, still staring at him with furrowed brows and mouth pulled into a firm scowl, the councilman continues more calmly, "You deserve to know everything, so I will do my best to explain everything in as much detail as possible, yet still shortly.
When you were born, you were never meant to be siblings in the council's eyes. Sure, as your parents both died, they- we decided to give you both to separate families. The case was to remain a secret from the public; you were the first case of twins. So, they sent your brother to a family away from Alpha, until he reached the acceptable age to be arrested. It was a hard decision to make for both the council and his foster family. Thankfully, the couple still decided to take him in as their own, despite only having a small chance of him living past the age of 18."
He pauses when I blink, still baffled as ever. Then, I aggressively shake my head as if to get rid of the massive amounts of mind plaguing thoughts, "I don't- what? Then how did you end up adopting me?"
"I'm getting to that next," he smiles sadly, stroking my hand, "you already know how close I was to your parents. And watching them die.. I felt so guilty, so guilty. Your dad, he had been my friend for such a long time and to witness his children being left behind without their parents.. I decided to take you in. It was easily the fastest desicion I had made on my life. You were the child that would live, I couldn't let you go. I needed to be the one to look after you. I felt like I had to.
So, I did. Your dad, atleast he got to name you and your brother."
This is the part where I have to fight against the ever growing knot in my throat as I feel the anticipation of hearing his name for the first time, mixing with the excruciating urge to let out a heavy sob.
"Your full name, Emily, with your real last name. What is it?"
I gulp, closing my eyes. There's a long, tense pause, before I manage to force out, "Emily Bastienne Montgomery."
"Your father's name, Sebastian. Your name, he called it out while standing behind the airlock door. Your middle name I came up with, is for Sebastian.
As for your brother.. His name- His name is Aiden Julius Montgomery. For your mother, Julia."
I freeze; that's it. That is my brother's name. Aiden Julius Montgomery. I have never stumbled upon this name, unless-
No. That's a well know name, for all I know, the Ark is full of Aiden's.
My head tilts up painfully slow and I meet my stepfather's glassy eyes again, choking out, "What is his name now? You said he was adopted by a couple, what is his last name?"
"Oaklynn. He goes by Aiden Oaklynn."
This sentence, specifically this one out of the whole story I have heard today, is the one that crumbles my exterior.
I let out a loud, heavy sob that shows the emotion I feel, the pain, the overwhelming sense of astonishment I feel.
I leap over the chair and collapse into my dad's arms, crying wholeheartedly while tears uncontrollably pace down my cheeks and stain my face with the misery of the current circumstances.
Aiden Oaklynn is the name of a boy that has been one of the closest people to me on Earth, one of the most incredible souls I have encountered in the last 18 years; and now, he is trapped in Mount Weather, oblivious to our real relation that is not good friends.
There are a few more minutes of dramatic crying from my side, before my cries finally die down and I am able to speak, "But I don't understand! Our birthday was days before the dropship launch, why was his life spared?"
"I was working on his case, I asked for more time - I was positive I could cancel his sentence, prove that it was pointless, that he wasn't guilty.
The dropship could carry a hundred of delinquents. I took as much time as needed, until the guards would round up each prisoner and sent them down. They didn't even pay attention; all that mattered was that Aiden was one of the hundred prisoners. He was sent to the ground even after he reached his 18 years."
I mesilly drag my hands across my face in an attempt to wipe away the tears and pull myself together.
"It was so hard to make the right decision. I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, keeping him alive until the mission. A part of me believed that the planet was uninhabitable," he stays silent for a few moments, before muttering in a lower voice, "I understand if you're angry, Emily. You have every right to be."
Once again, the more I focus on my actual twin being alive on Earth after I had mourned his death, another wave of tears threatens to spill over my face, but I manage to collect myself, tightly pursing my lips and clenching my fists.
"I'm not mad."
When my dad's face forms an expression of immense relief but his eyes still hold an element of confusion, I say, "I understand why you needed to hide it from me. I do. I can't be mad at you. I'm more shocked and confused, and terrified of the fact that my brother is alive in Mount Weather.. It'a just.. A lot." The last words decrease in volume and become strained as I fight the upcoming tears.
I fail, finding myself in Marcus' arms again.
-
I know it's dark outside after I've spent several hours moping around in my room; after our talk, my dad suggested I go and rest. Turns out, today's news had been even more emotionally exhausting after everything had properly sunken in. I wasn't alone all day - Marcus stayed with me for as long as he could, before he had to get back to his duties.
The longer I lay in my bed, the more I feel myself getting worked up over the subject. I've spent weeks with my brother without even knowing who he truly is. I was positive he was dead. The thoughts alone are enough to make my stomach churn in an unpleasant manner; guilt.
All I know now, is that getting him out of Mount Weather is all that matters.
I continue throwing silent tantrums until I feel a headache forming and finally, it feels like my brain goes out with a deafening bang, until I realize that's just my door.
"What has my door done to yo- Bellamy?"
I leap out of the bed as fast as I can, the thin, dull blankets getting stuck around my legs. I shake them off as gracefully as one does, before approaching Bellamy, who is now closing the door with a painfully blank expression.
"You look great," Is all he says. I snort humorlessly; given the circumstance, I physically can't find his bluntness genuinely funny like I normally do.
"Wait until you find out what happened," I shake my head, lowering my voice. His eyebrows raise in a curious yet slightly nervous manner. I put it aside for now, telling him I'll explain later, before remembering why Bellamy was gone for the whole day, "You came to get me?"
His eyebrows pull into a frown and he rubs the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. Then, he shakes his head, helplessly dropping his arms to his sides, "No, we're not going anywhere. Finn gave himself up."
My jaw goes slack and I draw in a sharp breath. Deep down, I find the amount of shock I have felt today ironically hilarious, but I don't dare to laugh.
Instead, my eye twitches in response, "What the fuck?"
Bellamy's hand raises in confusion and he shrugs.
"So where is he now? With the grounders?" I finally ask, having recovered from the momentary blow.
"Yes. And the grounders are right in front of the camp." Bellamy informs, crossing his arms across his chest. I take a step towards him, resting my elbow on top of my other arm, rubbing the side of my face in exhaustion. I finally realize that this should not be happening. Finn should not be with the groudners.
But he is, and that can only mean one thing.
"Oh, God. Oh, my God, they want us to watch!" I exclaim, suddenly reaching forward and grabbing Bellamy's wrist. He stumbles when I pull him along, but recovers quickly when he realizes I'm running out of my room and towards the exit of the Ark, momentarily stopping just outside its doors to take a look around in hopes of spotting our friends.
As I do so, Bellamy readjusts our hands so that they're actually clasped together and I'm not keeping a deathly grip on his wrist. A mere second later, I'm already taking off towards the familiar head of blonde hair, ignoring Bellamy's comforting touch. If I hadn't been that terrified, I would totally mistaken it as the actual reason my heart's beating so wildly at my chest, but, this time, I just want to know what's happening to our friend.
We arrive just in time to hear Raven ask, "What is that?"
"It's for Finn," Clarke explains, just as my eyes trail down to the tall that's being propped up in the middle of the field. Countless of small lights from their torches are littered across the surface of the nightly air, illuminating the atmosphere with flames that are blurry to my eyes.
"Is this a show to them?" I whisper hoarsely, squeezing onto Bellamy's hand. Everyone is finally alerted that I have arrived; I exchange small nods with Clarke and my dad.
"We're gonna get him," Bellamy says and I my frown deepens as I hear the pain behind his voice as he attempts to assure us all, including himself. My heart sharply clenches, "We'll get in close and hit hard."
"Son," he pauses, "there are thousands of them. Even if we could kill hundreds, they'd still wipe out this camp and your friend would still die."
It's weird hearing my dad call Bellamy son, but I push it away. Right now, the only thing relevant is Finn's life, that's meant to be carelessly tied to the log. Hundreds of vicious voices continue joining in for the chant that demans Finn's blood.
"We can't give up, dad!" I announce through a constricted throat. The layer of tears over my eyes threatens to break free any second now. Bellamy's thumb traces over the skin of my hand as he himself swallows next to me.
"We have to try," he emptily stares across the gate.
On the other side of my dad, I hear Raven pleading with Abby and not long after, Clarke is sending us a desperate look. Bellamy walks off, leading me along. We pick up our pace when my stepfather questioningly glances at us, though he stays in place as we jog after Clarke.
Bellamy loosens his tight grip on my fingers, before letting fo completely when Clarke orders him to take something from her. I don't see what it is; Bellamy's tall figure is blocking my view and I'm distracted by Raven, who appears by my side. Even through my own tear-blurred vision, I see the way her eyes glint in the blanket of light from the torches.
"What are you doing?" Bellamy asks Clarke.
"I'm gonna talk to the commander," she curtly responds.
I stop her by the shoulder, frowning, "What else can we do to change her mind, Clarke? What will you tell her?"
"I don't.. I don't know!" She breathlessly trails off, helpess. The four of us look at each other, searching for an idea, anything that could possibly give us a chance to atleast try and save Finn. It seems like Raven has a plan of her own as she asks for Clarke's hand, pulling out a small blade from her pocket. I stay wide eyed as the former slides it up the latter's sleeve.
"If she won't let her go, kill her," there's a dangerous hint in Raven's voice as she whispers, but I know all she wants is her family to live. I have no idea what's going on inside her head, but I can't say I don't understand where she's coming from; she hasn't given up her hope on saving Finn's life and now he has surrendered. She has the right to feel devastated.
Raven continues, "Things will go crazy and we'll grab you and Finn. Clarke. You have to help him. I owe him my life."
There is a tense silence; the three of us are too stunned by the girl's desperate proposition. Clarke recovers first, though the only reaction she manages is a shaky inhale, before she turns around and walks away.
The three of us approach the gate again, so we are able to see what's happening on the other side of it. All eyes seem to be on Clarke as she walks down a path surrounded by grounders on either side of it. My hands shake as I anxiously squeeze the small bones of my fingers - now I worry about two of my friends, rather than one.
It feels like time drags on extremely slow as we watch Clarke approaching the commander, Lexa. Their exchange is brief and I see the blonde curling her fist around the sleeve of her jacket, the same one where the blade is hid under. I don't think Clarke would be stupid enough to pull a stunt like that. There's no way we'd make it out alive.
As much as I don't want her to risk all of our lives, my heart still drops drastically when she begins walking to a now tied down Finn. My chest tightens with the pull of sheer guilt and regret; where was I when Finn needed us the most? My eyes burn as I take in the sight of him gazing up at the sky.
"What is she doing?" Raven asks, whispering. I just shake my head, pursing lips in an attempt to stop myself from crying out loud. She's saying goodbye. My eyes reopen with the last strength I can muster today. In all my 18 years of living, I don't think any day can beat this one.
Clarke jogs the rest of the way to the post where Finn is held, stumbling into him and capturing his lips in one last kiss. The moment is so full of pure tenderness I want to look away, but I can't. My eyes stay on Finn's face, that slowly goes from showing the sheer admiration he had for Clarke to a peaceful, calm mask.
Though I don't think it's a mask. After their lips part, Finn seems to radiate a certain calmness even with his slowly blanking expression. And even from afar, I see his face morphing without it even moving a muscle as Clarke hugs him.
Instantly, I know that the look of a young, untroubled boy is brought upon Finn by his death. My eyes slowly but surely well up with even more tears, which finally breaks the dam and sets them free. And, when Clarke turns around, hand covered in blood, a shrill wail that chills my bones reaches my ears from right beside of me. My sobs are overpowered by Raven's excruciating scream as she drops down to the ground, collapsing into my arms as I try to hold her down.
She struggles between my arms, sobbing uncontrollably until Bellamy wraps his arms around the both of us, cradling my head in his hand and pulling Raven closer to me by holding his arm around her shoulders. His face barely presses against the top of my head and Raven finally responds to the embrace by tightly curling her fingers around my arm, leaning into my chest. My eyes clench shut, tears rapidly pacing down my cheeks.
In the hold of my family, I say farewell to the brother we have lost.
In peace, may you leave the shore,
In love, may you find the next.
Safe passage on your travels,
Until our final journey to the ground.
Rest easy, spacewalker.
-
wow for someone that strongly dislikes finn, i did almost cry a lot, hA
okAy, anyway, can we talk about the fact that its revealed???? aiden??? emily??? bet you didnt see that coming!
okay, truth be told, you all did. literally. i suck. whatever.
but, now that it's finally revealed that emily's twin is, in fact, alive, i am beyond excited for the next seasons to come! i can assure you, i did not make them siblings just for the lols, i actually came up with the plot ages ago and i promise you that this is much needed for the character arcs of my children. you are not ready for the shit thats coming our way starting from s3.
oh and bemily sets sail soon, so.
like sooner than you'd expect.
i said this just to see how many people actually read my notes.
- ana (:
27.04.2019.