Time Period: Born before the DOD - but lived through their lifetime.
Fair, she is 25 years old
Name: Humpback (Name Reasoning: Humpback Whales are a species of medium-sized baleen whales that can grow up to 90 feet long)
Right. It's a good name. Humpback is canon (he was Queen Lagoon's husband back in Darkstalker's time), but he was mentioned very, very briefly and didn't even make an appearance. Plus, he died not too long after, so.
Age: 25 years old
Good age
Gender: Female
Yep
Sexuality: Straight
Yep
Tribe: SeaWing
Yee
Queen She Supports: Queen Oasis
I think you meant Queen Coral, lol
Rank: Aristocrat
Ooh, fancy
Abilities: Can breathe underwater like any SeaWing, see in the dark, a strong swimmer but weak flier. Create waves with her tail. Speak Aquatic, though not fluently because she is partially blind and can't see scale flashes very well.
Unique! I love this bit.
Appearance: Very small, well-muscled dark cobalt female SeaWing with a navy set of spines on her back and pale, sky-colored wing membranes that darken to an azure blue color toward the interior. Her glow-in-the-dark scales are very pale arctic-blue, and they darken slightly when lit. She has lapis colored underscales dotted on her snout, neck, chest, belly, tail and the undersides of her wings. Her eyes are a peacock-gray-blue color and she stands at the height of an orca.
THIS, right here, is what I call a descriptive appearance! The only thing I have to say about it, and I won't take points off, is that you should consider giving Humpback some jewelry. She's a SeaWing aristocrat, it would make sense.
Backstory: Humpback was born as the middle dragonet in a clutch of five - a rare number but not impossible. Her father was one of Queen Coral's many brothers - Megladon - while her mother was a high-ranked noble named Mariana. Her eldest siblings were the twins Cuttlefish and Stonefish, and then Humpback three minutes after them. And then the last was another set of twins, Krill and Kelp. They all grew up in a part of Coral's castle, getting the best teachers and eating mostly with the Queen.
Soon, Cuttlefish and Stonefish joined the SeaWing army and left home. Krill and Kelp became teachers at an elementary school located in one of the towns surrounding the castle. Humpback was left alone - not wanting to pursue any of the career choices that had been offered. Coral started to get nervous, and rightfully so. Humpback was her neice, making her eligible to challenge for the throne. Humpback had no interest in becoming queen, however, and when she voiced this to Coral, she was given the job of babysitting Anemone. She sat on the egg when Coral could not, and made the harness alongside her best friend, Bottlenose, for her when she hatched.
Humpback became Anemone's teacher once the dragonet princess became of age. She taught math, language - but not Aquatic - history, and much, much more along with her three closest friends, Bottlenose, Leech, and Clam. When she learned that Anenome was an animus, the four became frightened. Such an innocent dragonet was hardly eligible to fight with her unstable powers just yet, but Whirlpool - the nasty old Aquatic teacher - seemed dead set on studying the powers. Blister and Coral seemed determined to turn the only living princess into a deadly weapon.
So when Tsunami - the lost princess - came out from her hiding, Humpback and her friends sided with her if it meant protecting Anemone and the last female egg in Corals last clutch.
After Auklet hatched, Humpback was overjoyed. Once again, she was given the job of babysitting the newcomer and - watched closely by Coral - taught her to swim. Currently, Humpback can be found helping out around the castle, sweeping, teaching, training. She sees her siblings every now and again, but her loyalties are to Coral and her family.
It's an excellent backstory! It could use a major event, though. Everyone has a major event in their lives, so Humpback should have one of those. It could be anything, from finding a lover, the death of a loved one, etc.
Residence: Queen Coral's Castle
Makes sense
Family: Mariana (mother)(large, slim, dull-colored light slate-blue female SeaWing dragon with denim underscales on her wings and chest. Her wing membranes are a peacock-blue that fade into a very pale sapphire. Peacock eyes)(Name Reasoning: Mariana Trench, also called Marianas Trench, deep-sea trench in the floor of the western North Pacific Ocean)
Right
Megladon (father)(large, well-muscled dark navy blue male SeaWing dragon with peacock-blue underscales and sky-colored wing membranes. Denim eyes)(Name Reasoning: Megalodon, meaning "big tooth", is an extinct species of shark that lived approximately 23 to 2.6 million years ago, during the Early Miocene to the end of the Pliocene)
I won't take off any points, but his name is misspelled lmao
Stonefish (older brother)(short, but long-bodied flint-grayish-blue male SeaWing dragon with lapis-blue underscales on his belly and on the undersides of his wings. The membranes are silverish colored like his eyes, and his glowing scales are arctic-blue)(Name Reasoning: stonefish are poisonous fish that dwell on the seafloor)
Right
Cuttlefish (older sister)(tall, lapis-blue female SeaWing dragon with azure blue underscales on her stomach and chest. Arctic eyes)(Name Reasoning: Cuttlefish or cuttles are marine molluscs of the order Sepiida. They belong to the class Cephalopoda, which also includes squid, octopuses, and nautiluses. Cuttlefish have a unique internal shell, the cuttlebone)
Yep
Krill (little brother)(small, navy blue male SeaWing dragon with pinkish-blue underscales and mint-colored eyes)(Name Reasoning: Krill are small organisms that are the main diet of baleen whales)
Uh-huh
Kelp (little sister)(sleek dark mint-colored female SeaWing dragon with dark navy underscales. Seagoam wing membranes and sage-colored eyes)(Name Reasoning: Kelp is a type of ocean plant that dwells on the seafloor)
Kelp is canon, but they were mentioned very briefly, so it's ok
Friends: Bottlenose (large, slate-blue female SeaWing dragon with bright white glow scales that match her eyes (blind))(Name Reasoning: Bottlenose dolphins are a common species of porpoise or whales)
Right
Leech (huge, well-muscled dark periwinkle male SeaWing dragon with azure blue eyes and navy underscales)(Name Reasoning: a leech is a bloodsucking freshwater organisn)
I recommend changing this, since freshwater organisms are more for MudWing names, whilst seawater organisms are more for SeaWings
Clam (small, skinny female SeaWing dragon with peacock-blue underscales and mint-colored eyes)(Name Reasoning: clams are common ocean organisms)
Yep
Husband: None
Crushes: None
Dragonets: None
Right
Enemies: Whirlpool
Friggin Whirlpool
Personality: Humpback is a very sweet, but sarcastic and rather boring SeaWing. She can be lazy, but has a fondness for young dragonets. Though she was eligible, she has no wish to rule her tribe and prefers to teach and babysit the Queen's dragonets. Humpback is also very clumsy due to her limited sight and gets frustrated easily.
I like her, but she could be more... well, interesting. I think you should make her less bland, truthfully. Maybe she's practical, or enthusiastic, or logical. You need to add more interesting traits.
Fears: None
OK
Overall Review:
The Good Parts::
— The abilities are good
— The appearance is good
— The backstory is mostly good
— The names are all pretty good
— She's realistic
The Bad Parts::
— The backstory is lacking a major event
— The personality is too boring
How To Improve + Suggestions:
For the backstory — Just add a major event. It could be anything; just as long as it's a major event that affected her life and/or her relationships.
For the personality — Make her personality a LOT more interesting. In fact, erase that "rather boring" part altogether. Maybe make her fidgety or defensive, or adventurous or enthusiastic or rational. Make her less boring.
I suggest — Adding some jewelry to Humpback's appearance.
I suggest — Changing Leech's name to something more oceanic.
My Rating:
9.5/10
Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original)
Realism: 23/25 (2 points knocked off for the lack of major event in her backstory)
Interest: 22/25 (3 points knocked off for the personality)
Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)