(A.N. So it's December 5th, Akaashi's birthday though he's been acting a bit more, down in the dumps, the reason? The team 'forgot' his birthday even though that was to be expected with Bokuto as a captain he still can't help himself from feeling a bit down because of it, though he doesn't want to make a big deal about it but did they really forget? Akaashi's parents pretty much neglect him and focus more on his prettier and more successful sister so Akaashi really never celebrates his birthday and always has troubles at home which makes him quite depressed at times and when it shows the most is on his birthday *Sorry perspective changes a lot* Warning: contains angst, child neglect, verbal abuse and slight depressive topics that could be triggering to some so please read with caution)
Akaashi [POV]
I pulled my scarf up over my nose the cold air nipping at my face. December 5th, my birthday, I was happy though last year my birthday was forgotten, it was always forgotten. I didn't care though, at least that's what I told myself. I hated the winter, it was way to cold and sometimes I wished that my birthday wasn't in the winter.
"AKAAAAASHIII" Bokuto called running up to me, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he caught up with me
"Good morning Bokuto" I mumbled my scarf muffling my voice,
"It's really cold today isn't it?" He asked though like usual his winder coat was unzipped and he had no gloves or hat
"That's because you don't dress properly for the cold" I commented walking with him to school
"Are you cold?" He asked probably just now noticing my scarf and hat
"Yes, I hate the winter" I responded dully
"It's barely even December and it's already this cold" Bokuto looked up at the sky as snowflakes started to fall
"Yeah" I agreed with a faint nod
"Hey Akaashi," Bokuto started
"Hm?" I hummed in response
"What are you doing tonight?" He asked looking at me with a bright smile
"Huh? Why?" I asked back not answering his question
"No reason I'm just curious" this was an odd question coming from Bokuto
"I'm getting my hair done and going out to dinner" I responded looking down at my feet as I walked
"Are you going out to eat with your family?" He asked
"No, just me" I explained feeling really awkward talking about this for some reason
"I see" He didn't say anything else the rest of the walk to school, we both walked to the gym, it was much warmer inside the gym. I sighed in relief unwrapping my scarf
"Akaashi your cheeks are red" Bokuto commented
"Because it was cold out" I retorted taking off my coat as well
"Oh" He muttered
"Hey Bokuto-" I started but Bokuto had already walked away, I sighed and went to get ready for practice
Bokuto [POV]
I rushed up to Komi and Onaga
"So what'd you find out, is he doing anything tonight?" Komi asked as I approached
"He's getting his hair done and going out to eat" I reported proudly putting my hands on his hips
"Did he say what time?" Onaga asked
"No but he's not going out with his family, I thought he would" I shrugged
"Maybe his family forgot too" Komi suggested sadly glancing over at Akaashi who was on the ground stretching
"He never talks about it either" Onaga agreed
"I feel really bad that we forgot his birthday last year" I muttered with a frown
"He always seems really depressed on his birthday for some reason" Onaga insisted "Like in middle school no one ever knew it was his birthday until like at the end of the day the teacher would get a quick happy birthday before the bell rung I don't know how he was in grade school though"
"Maybe something happened?" Komi raised one eyebrow
"Possibly but we're gonna throw him a party this year" I insisted with a nod
"Yeah I bet that will cheer him up" Komi nodded "But I'm still surprised you got other schools in on this party"
"I was only able to convince Kuroo and Daichi, probably because they felt bad as well" I shrugged
"But now we just need to think of a plan to get him here, if he's going out to dinner and getting his hair done then who knows if he'll show up" Onaga sighed
"I hope he does" I sighed
"Hey Bokuto can I-" Akaashi started coming over to where we were, I screamed and spun around. Akaashi's eyes went wide with surprise at my outburst his hand slightly outstretched frozen in mid air
"Use your phone......," he muttered
"W-What Akaashi, c-can't you use y-your own?" I stuttered cursing silently in my head
"Never......., never mind" He muttered turning around looking down at the floor muttering to myself "I'll ask one of my classmates for a charger"
"Good job captain I think you made his mood worse" Onaga slapped me on the back
"I panicked" I insisted
"We know" Komi exclaimed, I looked over at Akaashi furrowing my eyebrows. He was knelt down in front of his school bag sifting through it his phone was on the floor next to his bag.
"Akaashi what are you looking for" Sarukui asked coming into the gym
"I was seeing if I had my phone charger but I don't" Akaashi muttered in response "I'll just tell my mom afterwards she wont care anyways"
"Do you want to use my phone?" He offered
"If you wouldn't mind?" Akaashi replied
"Of course here" Sarukui handed Akaashi his phone,
"Thank you" Akaashi managed a small smile dialing a number and putting the phone to his ear.
Akaashi [POV]
The phone rung once, twice, three times, four times, five times, and finally six before it went to voicemail. I sighed
"The user you are attempting to call right now is not available please leave a message after the beep" The automated voice explained cheerfully, there was a high pitched beep
"Mom, I forgot to tell you this morning but tonight I wont be home for dinner, I had a reservation and a hair appointment, I'll see you later tonight though love you bye" I muttered into the phone before hanging up the voicemail going through. I handed the phone back to Sarukui
"She didn't answer but thanks" I bowed slightly "My phone died"
"Of course but remember to charge your phone next time" He laughed
"It's the cold," I explained stuffing my phone into my school bag. Sarukui nodded and walked away to where everyone else had gathered. Today was already starting out wonderful. I sighed again and stood up, Bokuto screamed when I approached him and brushed off my question, was he mad at me for something. I looked up at the clock on the wall, there was still almost another half hour before practice started. I picked up my coat from the floor and pulled it on
"Akaashi where are you going?" Konoha called as I went to the door wrapping my scarf around my neck
"No where practice starts in half an hour I'll be back before then" I explained opening the door and stepping out into the cold
Bokuto [POV]
"I thought he hated the cold" Konoha muttered
"He does" I nodded
"Weird"
"I bet he feels like actual crap today, especially after you screamed at him Bokuto" Komi scolded furrowing his eyebrows
"Probably" I muttered with a frown, a few minutes later Yukie and Kaori came into the gym bundled in coats
"What's Akaashi doing outside?" Kaori asked taking her coat off
"He didn't say he just said he was going outside" Konoha explained "Why what's he doing?"
"He was sitting on the wall over by the vending machines" Yukie chimed in
"He seemed kinda depressed," Kaori furrowed her eyebrows
"It's his birthday today isn't it?" Yukie asked raising one eyebrow "He should be happy"
"We're planning a surprise party for him after school today but since last year we all forgot I bet he thinks that we forgot again" I explained sheepishly
"I think every year everyone forgets his birthday" Onaga muttered
"That's terrible but it's nice that you're throwing a party for him" Kaori insisted
"I hope that he actually shows up otherwise it will all be for nothing" I sighed
"I'm sure you'll find a way to get him to show" Yukie insisted patting me on the back, a few minutes before practice started Akaashi came back inside, his cheeks were a dark red and he was shivering
"Akaashi this is why you shouldn't have been outside it's cold out" Konoha scolded
"Sorry" Akaashi muttered taking his coat off again
"Why'd you go outside?" Yukie asked
"I don't know I wanted to see the snow flakes" he shrugged
"Well if you get a cold that's your own fault" Yukie shook her head disapprovingly,
"That would be bad especially on his birthday" I muttered to myself so that Akaashi didn't hear, with a sigh I started practice right on time which was a good start to the day. Throughout practice Akaashi's mood seemed to worsen but he didn't say anything of a complaint, he didn't really speak much which was the concerning part. Usually he had some snarky remark under his breath or would tell me off occasionally but he didn't say anything unless someone directly spoke to him.
"Akaashi are you okay?" I finally asked genuinely concerned, he didn't even act like this last year when we forgot his birthday
"Yeah sorry I'm just tired, I was up all night" He muttered not making eye contact
"That's bad for your health you've gotta get a good nights sleep" I scolded
"I know......," He seemed like he was going to say something else but he didn't, I frowned not really convinced by his answer but I didn't continue to press for another answer.
Akaashi [POV]
My stomach rumbled, I had forgotten to eat breakfast this morning and was really paying for it. First I don't fall asleep to around 5 AM so I only got like an hour and a half of sleep last night because my parents were arguing all night. They always argue, then this morning my mom was yelling at me for something that I can't remember so I forgot to eat breakfast. I didn't charge my phone last night because my charger broke and I couldn't ask to use my sister for her's because she wouldn't help me. Then as I left for school my dad started yelling at me for forgetting to do my homework last night which reminded me that, I didn't do my homework. I apologized and quickly went out into the cold, I lost my gloves yesterday so I had to keep my hands in my pockets to keep it warm. So far today was going absolutely Wonderful. I sighed, then now at practice I had to go outside because I was fed up with everything. I wasn't really mad I was more upset and I didn't want the rest of the team to see me upset. It was cold outside and I hated the cold but I liked the numbing pain in my cheeks.
"Akaashi you're going to get hit by a ball if you don't pay attention" Bokuto scolded
"Sorry" I muttered looking down at the floor, I could see in the corner of my eye his concerned frown but I didn't want to say anything. What if I made him mad? I sighed and was ready to thank the gods when practice was over. I honestly just wanted this day to end and I didn't want another one to start. My birthday was like just a really unlucky day in general, no wonder I was born today.
"Akaashi are you sure you're okay?" Bokuto asked coming up to me as I started to walk to my next class
"Yeah really I'm fine, I only got around an hour and a half of sleep last night" I explained to him "My parents were arguing" I muttered not even realizing what I had said
"they were arguing all night?" He exclaimed
"Oh...., sorry forget I said that" I begged hurrying away to my class
Bokuto [POV]
Do Akaashi's parent's fight often to keep him awake at night? I asked myself as I watched Akaashi hurry away.
"He never tells me anything" I shook my head walking with my hands stuffed in my pockets to class. I didn't pay attention much in class as I was thinking of Akaashi and the party. After the final bell had rung I jumped out of my seat and ran to the gym excitedly though when I opened the door Akaashi wasn't there yet
"Has Akaashi shown up yet?" I asked loudly
"No" Konoha responded tying up the volleyball net
"Where is he" I whined throwing my head back
"It's not like he's late just yet so be patient" Onaga scolded walking by with the volleyball basket
"Mmmmm but I have to invite him still" I groaned crossing my arms in front of my chest. Practice had started and Akaashi still hadn't shown up which was worrying
"Now he's late" I commented after practice had been started fifteen minutes ago,
"Maybe something happened" Komi insisted
"I'm starting to get concerned about him" I admitted but just as I said that the door to the gym burst open and Akaashi rushed in panting for breath
"I'm so sorry I'm late" he exclaimed bowing
"Where were you?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows concerned
"I'm sorry I fell asleep in class" he explained catching his breath "And I had to stay behind to talk with my teacher because of it" he seemed genuinely guilty about it
"It's okay Akaashi just go get warmed up and join us when you've stretched" I instructed, Akaashi bowed again slipping his coat which was already half off and disheveled
"He hasn't really been having a good day today has he?" Komi whispered to me with a concerned frown
"I feel bad for him" I turned back and continued practice while Akaashi warmed up, when he was finished he joined us but still was distracted. After we had wrapped up practice I stopped Akaashi on his way out
"Hey Akaashi I know you said you were getting your hair done and going out to eat but afterwards we're having like an early Christmas party here so after you're done with that why don't you join us or whenever" I scratched at the back of my neck awkwardly
"W-Well I'm going to get my hair done right now and I don't know how long dinner would take but when is the party?" he asked
"At seven" I responded
"O-Oh I'll see if I can make it....," he looked down at the ground "I-"
"What was that?" I asked
"Never mind" he shook his head
"Okay but text me when you're coming" I furrowed my eyebrows concerned
"yeah" he muttered turning back around, a part of me figured that he didn't really want to come in the first place but maybe there was a slim chance he would. At least I hoped so, we worked really hard to throw a birthday party for him.
Akaashi [POV]
I pulled out my phone, one of my classmates let me use a charger so now it was at 50% just from charging all day. I sighed and dialed my sisters number and put the phone to my ear pulling my scarf up more as I walked. She picked up after two rings.
"Keiji why'd you call me?" She asked harshly, I chewed on my lower lip
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm getting my hair done and I was thinking-"
"Why would I care to know that?" she snapped cutting me off
"Well I was thinking of maybe dying my hair and I wanted to ask you for advice on what color I should-" I trailed off, this was a stupid idea I shouldn't have asked Fumie
"Why would you think of doing that? It's not like it'll make you cool or anything" she sneered, I slowed down my walking
"I know I just, I thought it would look good but maybe not, that would probably just be a waste of money" I frowned
"Of course it would be a waste of money, spending it to get your hair done would be a waste of money because nothing can fix that mistake of vanity you've got"
"Sorry I shouldn't have bothered you" I frowned chewing on my lower lip
"Of course you shouldn't have think before you act next time" Fumie snapped
"Sorry" I muttered
"You better be"
"Well I'm gonna..., I'm gonna go, tell mom that I won't be home for dinner tonight" I felt tears stinging in the corners of my eyes
"Why would she care?" Fumie asked harshly before hanging up, I sighed and stuffed my phone back in my pocket wiping tears from my eyes as I continued down the pathway but as I turned to corner I ran into Kaori
"Oh sorry Akaashi" She exclaimed looking up at me
"It's okay" I mumbled
"Are you okay Akaashi you've been a bit down since this morning" she asked
"Yeah I'm fine" I insisted walking away
Bokuto [POV]
"Bokuto, Bokuto" Kaori called running into the gym
"What is it?" I raised one eyebrow "Is something wrong?"
"I'm sorry I overheard one of Akaashi's phone calls but-" she trailed off
"But what?" I asked
"I don't know who he was talking to I think one of his family members but he was talking about his hair appointment asking about that though he kept stopping I don't know what whoever was on the other line said but it wasn't something good" she furrowed her eyebrows concerned "I'm worried"
"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding" I put my hand on her shoulder
"yeah I probably misheard something" She nodded but didn't seem very convinced
Akaashi [POV]
I opened the door to the place where I was getting my hair cut (A.N. I'm sorrrry I forgot what they're called)
"Welcome" The woman at the counter greeted cheerfully "How may I help you today"
"Um well I have an appointment" I mumbled slowly
"Are you Akaashi Keiji?" she asked looking at her computer
"Yes" I nodded
"Of course, you're our only appointment for today" She laughed "Business has been slow lately" she walked out from behind the counter "What were you thinking of doing?"
"Well I wanted to get a trim and I was thinking of maybe dying my hair but-" I trailed off
"We've got some temporary dye that'll last for a few days if you're unsure on the color you can just try it out" she explained "What color were you thinking"
"Like a royal blue but just the tips" I explained
"Of course sit down right here and I'll do your hair" she smiled gesturing to one of the barber chairs, I nodded and sat down
"So what's the occasion or are you just getting your hair done for the sake of it?" She asked
"I'm turning 17 today" I explained but after I said that I realized that she probably didn't really care
"Oh happy birthday, are you doing anything else special today? Going out for dinner with the family or something?" she draped the barber cloth around my neck buttoning it in the back
"No I'm going out to eat afterwards just by myself though" I explained
"I see" she nodded
"My friends are having an early Christmas party so I might go to that" I sighed
"I see that sounds fun" she nodded combing my hair "Do you have a tradition or some sort for your birthday"
"I always get my hair cut and then go out to dinner" I explained
"How old did you say you were? 17 that's pretty young where do you go to school?"
"Fukurodani, I'm a second year" I told her
"Wow, my son is a third year at Fukurodani" she explained starting to cut my hair "But I doubt you would know him"
"Who's your son?" I asked
"Bokuto, Koutarou" she explained, my eyes widened in surprise
"You're Bokuto's mom?" I asked
"You know my son?" she smiled
"We're on the volleyball team together, I'm the setter" I explained smiling faintly
"What did you say your name was again?" she raised one eyebrow
"Akaashi Keiji" I explained
"I knew that name sounded familiar Koutarou talks about you all the time" she laughed
"Really?" I exclaimed
"Yeah all the time after school" she laughed again
"I didn't know I was so popular" I shrugged
"I never thought you'd be a customer here" she smiled
"Bokuto never said anything about you working as a hair stylist" I explained
"I told him to spread the word, we're loosing business" she shook her head
"He forgets to do a lot of things" I commented
"I would imagine" she nodded "I cut Koutarou's hair all the time his hair is so unruly it's difficult to deal with" even though the rest of the day was absolutely terrible talking with Bokuto's mom made the day just a bit better. I guess he got his real energetic and happy personality from her. We talked a lot while she cut and dyed my hair though she had to bleach the tips first because I had such dark hair. When she was done with my hair I had completely lost track of time and completely forgot about my reservations. I swore under my breath looking at the time
"What is it?" Bokuto's mom asked
"I'm late to my reservations" I stood up quickly
"Oh I'm terribly sorry I took up so much of your time" she exclaimed
"It's okay" I pressed a ten thousand yen in her hands which was probably more than enough for the haircut and dying. I muttered a quick goodbye to her slipping my coat on as I ran out the door hurrying down the street. I was out of breath by the time that I got to the restaurant.
"How may I help you today?" The man at the front counter asked
"I have a reservation" I panted
"And your name is?" he raised one eyebrow
"Akaashi, Keiji" I explained regaining myself standing up straight my heart pounding in my chest from anxiety, the man frowned as he looked over the list
"I'm sorry sir but your reservation was thirty minutes ago, we had to give away your table" he apologized
"Oh, I'm sorry for taking up your time" I bowed to him
"I could try to get you a table if you'd be able to wait" He insisted
"No it's fine I was late," I chewed on my lower lip with a frown
"I am deeply sorry" He apologized again
"I should be sorry," I bowed again "Excuse me" I stood back up straight and turned around
"Have a good night then" He called his voice laced with sympathy as I left, with a sigh I sat down on a bench a few meters away from the restaurant. I leaned my head back looking up at the dark greyish black sky. I felt my phone ringing, sigh another sigh I pulled it out of my pocket watching the screen flash up 'Bokuto'. I clicked answer and pressed the phone to my ear
"Hey Akaashi how's dinner?" Bokuto greeted cheerfully
"My hair appointment took a bit longer than I hoped and I was late to the reservations so I wasn't able to get in" I explained quietly
"Are you okay about that?" he asked
"It's not like I could do anything about it" I muttered
"Do you want me to come pick you up?" He offered
"I can walk home you don't have to" I responded with a sigh
"Are you gonna come to the party?" He asked
"Probably not I'm tired and I've had a long day" I explained
"It'll be fun Akaashi at least come for a little bit, I'll come pick you up"
"Okay" I finally agreed feeling too tired to argue anymore
"Where are you?" I looked up at the street sign right by me before informing Bokuto of my location.
"I'll be there in five minutes don't move" He insisted hanging up the phone, I sighed stuffing my phone back into my pocket, I looked up at the sky watching clouds swiftly go by covering the moon and stars blocking them from view. A shiver ran down my spine, I closed my eye wishing once again for this day to end and wishing that I wouldn't have to wake up tomorrow morning. A few minutes later a car pulled up and parked, I opened my eyes. Bokuto rolled down the window with a smile
"Get in" He exclaimed with a faint hoot, I nodded slowly and got into the passenger seat next to him
"How was your hair appointment?" He asked casually pulling away from the curb
"Your mom works as a hair stylist" I commented leaning my head against the window
"You went to her shop?" he smiled still looking forward
"She's nice" I felt myself smiling faintly "I envy you"
"What why?" he asked
"Your mom is so nice, she talked about you the whole time" I explained
"Isn't your mom the same?" he raised one eyebrow
"She could care less about me" I responded
Bokuto [POV]
"What?" I asked quickly furrowing my eyebrows concerned, Akaashi was a bit out of it probably because he was tired but he's never really talked about his family or really any of his home life.
"Never mind" Akaashi shook his head quickly leaning against the window with a sigh. I decided not to press, Akaashi would tell me when he's ready. The five minute drive to the school felt like five years of excruciating silence. I think Akaashi had fallen asleep, at one of the stop lights I looked over, he was un-moving his head resting against the window, he was breathing softly his eyes shut. I smiled he seemed so peaceful when he was asleep, a part of me didn't want to disturb him. I pulled into the school parking lot cutting off the motor. I gently shook Akaashi, he stirred and woke up
"We're here Akaashi" I explained softly
"We're at the school?" he asked furrowing his eyebrows confused
"That's where we decided to have the party" I explained with a confident smirk
"Oh, I won't stay for long I'm exhausted from today" he explained unbuckling his seat belt. I did the same and stepped out of the car locking it once Akaashi had closed his door again. I was so excited to see Akaashi's reaction
"Ready to go in?" I asked
"Not really I kinda just wanna go home but I don't think that you'll let me" He responded walking with me to the gym entrance. I smiled as I pushed open the door
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY AKAASHI" Everyone shouted as we entered, I stood next to him with my hands on my hips smiling proudly, everything looked perfect. Streamers hung from the ceiling a large banner which was painted with the words 'happy birthday' hung on the wall. There were balloons floating around in places. I looked over at Akaashi, his eyes were wide with surprise his mouth halfway open, he was frozen in his place. Everyone was watching Akaashi waiting for his reaction and to my surprise tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and quickly spun on his heel running in the opposite direction
"Akaashi" I called after him furrowing my eyebrows with concern
"I had a bad feeling about this" Kaori mumbled shaking her head "He's been off all day" I didn't wait to hear what everyone else was to say. I quickly ran after him trying to follow where he went but I honestly didn't know. I ran down the street passing an alley, I skidded to a stop as I heard faint sobbing. I slowly walked into the alley way
"Akaashi?" I asked softly, Akaashi was knelt down his back pressed against the wall, he buried his face in his hands sobbing quietly "Akaashi what's wrong?" I furrowed my eyebrows kneeling down in front of him
"I'm sorry" he mumbled barely audible from behind his hands, I put my hand on his shoulder
"What are you sorry for Akaashi? You didn't do anything wrong?" I insisted "Did you not like it I'm sorry I should have at least mentioned something, I know how you hate a lot of attention" Akaashi didn't say anything but just seemed to sob harder
"Please Akaashi tell me what's wrong, I'm not as smart as you I'm not able to tell what's wrong" I begged feeling so guilty that I didn't know what to do
"You....., shouldn't have......., w-w-why'd you d-do that...., for me" He muttered between sobs
"Because you're my friend Akaashi, it's your birthday you should enjoy it, I'm sorry if it's too much I know how you hate attention I should have thought of that" I explained frantically
"I don't......., I-I don't d-deserve something like......, that" He insisted sobbing harder now
"Of course you do, everyone deserves to have a celebration for their birthday" I explained
"N-Not m-me........, I'm just a m-m-mistake" tears dripped from between his fingers onto the ground
"Who on earth told you that Akaashi? You're perfect, you're beautiful, you've got perfect grade, you're the best at volleyball, you know exactly what to say to make people feel better" I frowned, Akaashi did always know what to say to make me feel better but then when he needed someone to help him feel better, no one knew what to do, there was no one there. I was here now, and I didn't know what to do
"Every......, everyday I......," He paused letting out a choked hiccup as he struggled for breath "I......, hear e-everyday......., from my....., f-f-family" he was gasping for breath as he tried to speak, Akaashi was always so calm and collected seeing him like this broke my heart. He was so overwhelmed and stressed he couldn't get in a full breath before another sob escaped his lips. I didn't know how to comfort him, I was horrible at comforting words but I couldn't just sit here and do nothing.
"I'm sure they can't mean it they're your family" I told him
"I-I'm a....., waste of s-s-space......., I shouldn't h-have been born......, no one......, no one c-c-cares about me......, I always waste......, p-peoples time with......., with my t-t-trivial problems.......," He sobbed choking on his words slightly, I wrapped my arms around him pulling him into an embrace,
"It's okay Akaashi you're not a waste of space, I'm so glad that you were born because you're my friend, you mean so much to me and I don't know what I would do without you" I cooed pulling him into my lap "You shouldn't bottle everything up inside you, it's unhealthy, I'm your friend you can talk to me about anything" Akaashi's shoulders shook, as he sucked in a short ragged breath letting out a loud sob as he clung to me his entire body trembling.
"It's okay, It's going to be okay," I promised him rubbing circles into his back "Just breathe, it'll be okay" he didn't say anything and I don't think that he could have said anything even if he tried, he struggled with every breath panting and gasping, sobbing into my shoulder
"T-T-They........, T-They h-h-hate m-m-me" he exclaimed his grip tightening he gripped the back of my shirt not wanting to let go
"Shhh I'm sure they don't" I insisted
"T-T-They..., s-s-say I-I'm u-u-ugly......, t-that I-I-I'll never......., m-match my s-s-sister"
"Why didn't you say anything before Akaashi? I'm always here to talk," I asked moving one of my hands to the back of his head running my fingers through his hair reassuringly, I noticed that he had dyed the tips a dark royal blue, he didn't say anything but continued crying into my shoulder. He let out another choked sob before he tried to speak again
"I-I-I always........., b-b-b-bother......, everyone with m-m-m-my......., my p-problems" I had to find a way to get him to calm down, the way this was going he would break down further and the way that this was going there was a slight chance that he wouldn't be able to recover. I didn't know how to calm him down though, he was so worked up about this and I don't think that talking about it was helping.
"Akaashi, listen to me, are you listening to me?" I asked softly but firmly, he nodded slowly
"Breathe just focus on trying to get a breath in okay?" I instructed rubbing his back, he nodded again and after a while he was finally able to get a full breath in without gasping or choking.
"See you're alright, everything is fine" I insisted calmly, he didn't say anything or move, his trembling eventually stopped as well. His grip on the back of my shirt loosened and his arms fell to his side
"Everything is fine you're okay" I cooed letting out a slow breath relaxing my pounding heartbeat. I looked down at Akaashi, his eyelids were closed and his lips were parted slightly his breathing was soft and he looked so calm
"You were freaking out so much that you passed out from exhaustion" I commented quietly picking him up bridal style, he leaned my head on my chest subconsciously snuggling into my touch. I smiled at him, I walked back to the gym but before I went in I opened the backdoor of my car and laid him down in the backseat before I went back into the gym
"I'm sorry" I announced bowing slightly as I entered "I'm going to take Akaashi home he passed out from exhaustion after freaking out I'll help with the cleanup when I return"
"Oh shut up don't worry about it Bokuto, just take care of Akaashi make sure that he's okay" Komi shouted furrowing his eyebrows
"Huh?" I muttered confused
"Bokuto, Bro," Kuroo came over putting his hand on my shoulder "Afterwards we'll take care of the cleanup, as long as you take care of Akaashi make sure that he's okay, you can do that right?"
"Yeah, thank you" I smiled faintly,
"Of course, this was your idea and since the affects that it had on him weren't very pleasant that means it's your duty to take care of him" Yukie joked
"Yeah, I'll see you all later" I bowed again as I left going to my car. I got into the drivers seat but I sat there in the silence for a few minutes, I tried to make sense of what Akaashi had told me but it was to hard to understand since he was so worked up. Was Akaashi having troubles at home? If that is the case is it smart to take him home? Maybe I should take him back to my house for the night, tomorrow is a Saturday anyways. I sighed and turned on the engine slowly pulling out in the driveway. I looked back, Akaashi was still asleep curled up into a ball his face was tear stained and blotchy though he still looked absolutely beautiful with the moon illuminating his features in a ethereal way. I turned back to the road
"I'm sorry Akaashi" I muttered quietly as I turned down the street towards my house, My mom would be home by now, I hope that she will understand. The drive took five minutes to get from the school to my house. I pulled up to my driveway and cut the engine quietly stepping out of the car. I opened the back door and lifted Akaashi from the back seat, I just noticed now how surprisingly light that he was. I shut the car door with my foot and walked up to the door. It was hard to open the door but I managed
"Koutarou you're home" My mother exclaimed
"Shhh" I hissed as she came over prepared to give me a hug
"Oh my goodness what happened?" her eyes went wide with surprise
"Akaashi was freaking out and he passed out from exhaustion, I didn't want to take him home because I figured that something was going on at home from what he told me" I explained quickly feeling awkward
"I'll make up the bed in the guest bedroom" My mom insisted hurrying down the hallway. I put Akaashi down on the couch and sat down on the chair with a sigh. I examined his face for any sort of emotion but there was nothing, nothing to show if he was having a dream or not. His breathing hitched and he slowly opened his eyes
"B-Boku.....,Bokuto?" He asked slowly, sitting up
"I'm sorry you passed out from exhaustion in the alleyway and, I couldn't make sense of mostly everything that you said so I didn't know where to take you, I didn't want to take you back home in case there was something going on or something so I just took you to my house I'm sorry" I spoke quickly, Akaashi stood up carefully his legs trembling so much it looked like they could give out at any second
"Are you okay Akaashi?" I asked softly
"Do you......., do you want the......, believable lie....., or the truth?" He asked in response
"I want the truth Akaashi" I insisted watching curiously as he walked over to where I was sitting
"I'm not okay" he responded simply,
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked opening my arms, he shook his head but sat down next to me pretty much on my lap resting his head on my shoulder.
"What are you doing?" I asked
"Please...., please don't leave me......., please.....," He begged
"Why would I ever leave you Akaashi?" I asked
"Please....., promise me....., you won't leave me" he clutched his hand into a fist, I wrapped my arms around him, he flinched at my touch at first but soon melted into it snuggling into my embrace
"I promise Akaashi, I promise I won't ever leave you" I promised firmly
"Thank......, you" he muttered closing his eyes again
"Bokuto the guest bedroom is ready" My mom insisted coming back into the living room
"Akaashi?-" I asked but looking down he had fallen back asleep
"He's a very sweet boy, shy a first, but talks a lot when he's comfortable" she nodded towards him "did he say that he came to my hair salon?"
"Yeah he mentioned something about that" I picked him up again
"I was talking with him but that made him late for his dinner reservations" she shook her head sadly
"He told me that too, he wasn't able to get a table" I followed my mom to the guest bedroom though as I laid him down in the bed he slowly opened his eyes
"Akaashi my bedroom is the next one on the right okay? Get some rest now" I instructed softly
"Thank you" he muttered softly his lips curving into a small smile, as I left my hand trailing over the light switch I found myself smiling
"Good night Akaashi" I whispered softly but he was already asleep, I turned off the light and padded softly to my room leaving his door open. I pulled my shirt off and flopped down on my bed, I didn't even bother turning the light off. I think a few hours later I was still tossing and turning unable to get to sleep thankful once again that today was a Friday. I heard my door slowly open. I rolled over opening my eyes, the moonlight shone through my window giving just enough light to see Akaashi standing in the doorway
"Akaashi?" I asked slowly rubbing my eyes "Do you need something?" he didn't say anything for a while and I was starting to think that maybe he was sleepwalking or something.
"Can I......," He started
"Hm? What do you need?" I raised one eyebrow
"Can I sleep here?" He asked which took me by surprise
"Yeah.....," I muttered still surprised "Yeah of course" I lifted up the sheet Akaashi looked down at the floor coming over to the bed, he slowly climbed in next to me. I smiled though because it was dark I don't think that he saw
"Is something wrong? Did you have a nightmare or something?" I asked knowing he probably wanted to go to sleep
"I just....., didn't want to be...., alone" He scooted closer to me
"I understand" I nodded, I couldn't help myself from wrapping my arms around him pulling him closer. Akaashi didn't seem to deny the contact which I was happy for, he rested his forehead against my bare chest pressing his hands to my stomach, his hands were trembling.
"Are you cold?" I asked "I can get another blanket if you are?"
"No, it's fine" he responded calmly
"Oh okay, goodnight then Akaashi" I insisted "Happy birthday"
"...., thank you....., Bokuto" he responded, I buried my hand in his hair wrapping my other arm around him protectively, again he nuzzled into my touch like he hadn't ever been touched like this. Maybe he craved affection as much as I did but just didn't show it or ever ask for it. I closed my eyes smiling contently and soon fell asleep as well a new sense of fatigue falling over me. The next morning my mom had already left for work, I sat up and nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized Akaashi was in my bed too. I had completely forgotten our conversation last night. He didn't stir when I sat up but his eyes were shut tightly and his jaw was clenched. Was he having a nightmare now? I leaned on my elbow watching his face, I gently caressed his cheek with my hand furrowing my eyebrows concerned. His expression relaxed but he slowly opened his eyes seeing me and quickly sitting up
"B-Bokuto" he stammered
"Good morning Akaashi" I greeted cheerfully
"I-I'm sorry I climbed into your b-bed last night didn't I?" he asked looking around "I-I'm so sorry I-I-I have a tendency t-t-to sleep walk when I-I'm stressed"
"It's m'kay, you asked anyways" I explained with a faint yawn
"D-D-Did I?" he asked looking down at the bed sheets
"Akaashi," I started
"Yeah?" he asked cautiously
"What is your life at home like?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows concerned, he froze his eyes wide with surprise in a similar way to how he reacted to the party. I was afraid that what happened in the alley would relapse. Akaashi started breathing heavy again, he buried his face in his hands but now he seemed to stop breathing all together
"Akaashi?" I asked slowly feeling my heartbeat speed up. I regretted asking him about his home life. Akaashi sucked in a slow shaky breath
"I'm......, I'm okay" He muttered quietly sounding like he was more trying to convince himself rather than me.
"What's wrong?" I asked reaching out to him but I stopped. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to touch him
"I'm sorry Bokuto, that won't happen again" He apologized breathing normally again
"You don't have to apologize I'm just confused and worried about you" I explained furrowing my eyebrows concerned
"I'm sorry I've just......., I've just been having a hard time at home......., I'm sorry if its been affecting my performance" He apologized again
"Akaashi, your performance isn't important, what's important right now is your health" I insisted putting one hand on his shoulder "Please, if you can manage...., tell me what's wrong" he chewed on his lower lip looking down at the bed sheets
"My....., My family......, hates me" He muttered quietly after a long time of silence
"Why would you say that?" I asked with a frown
"Everyday......, they tell me that......., I'm a waste of space......., T-That I'm ugly......., and no one....., will ever love me....., they don't c-care about what I do......., when I do something......., good they....., I-Ignore me....., when I try to talk......, no one......, listens" He explained slowly trying to remain calm. I didn't know how to respond
"Why?" Was all I could manage
"I was......, A mistake" He responded like that was obvious "My sister is......, better than me at......, everything"
"What about volleyball?" I asked trying my hardest to cheer him up
"She....., doesn't play" he chewed on his lower lip
"Then she can't be better than you" I insisted
"My parent's don't care about that" Tears formed in the corners of his eyes
"Have you said something about it?" I cupped his face in my hands wiping his tears with my tumb
"Of course not I could never talk back to them" He exclaimed putting his hands over mine
"Why haven't you told me before?" I asked
"Because there's nothing you can do?" He insisted
"I could let you sleep over more often so you don't have to go back to your house if you don't want to, you can talk to me about anything I can......," I frowned, I was unsure how to continue "I can..., I can give you hugs" I knew that probably sounded really stupid and he would probably get mad at me for saying something like that
"Let's....., start with hugs" He insisted, My eyes widened with surprise
"Of course" I exclaimed wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer. He nuzzled into my touch softly wrapping his arms around my lower back.
"Do you like it when I show affection?" I asked, Akaashi tensed up a bit
"Yes....., I love it when you touch me like this" He mumbled into my shoulder (A.N. wow that sounds dirty XD)
"But you always yell at me when I touch or hug you" I insisted
"I'm sorry" he mumbled
"If you like it when I do that why do you push me away" I asked
"Because it's embarrassing" he insisted "But-" He trailed off
"But?" I asked
"But your touch is so soft and gentle" He explained "I feel at peace" I furrowed my eyebrows thinking back to all the times when Akaashi was angry or upset, I would put my hand on his shoulder or maybe on his arm and in a few minutes he had calmed down. I never really understood why he did that, I sort of just assumed that he was just trying to be mature
"You like it?" I asked awestruck
"You're good at comforting" He explained
"I'm not good with words"
"Your actions are much louder than your voice" he giggled
"You know Akaashi" I started nervously
"Hm?" He hummed in response
"I'm not really good with words, or really understanding emotions but...., you've trusted me enough to tell me about your family and......, I think that I finally understand my own emotions" I felt my heartbeat speed up in my chest
"What is it?" He asked resting his chin on my shoulder
"I think I love you Akaashi" I explained, it took all my willpower to force those words out of my mouth. There was a long period of awkward silence, In that period where I think Akaashi was thinking about what I had said I felt myself get more and more nervous. What if I just ruined our entire relationship.
"Oh" He finally muttered
"I'm sorry Akaashi please don't hate me" I exclaimed, he tensed up quickly pulling out of my embrace. His mouth was open in a small 'O' shape. He furrowed his eyebrow at me examining my face
"Nope," He nodded to himself "I've tried"
"What?" I asked shocked
"I can't hate you" He announced nodding again
"Huh?"
"I love you too Bokuto" He smiled faintly leaning against my chest, he was pretty much sitting in my lap now
"W-What!" I exclaimed "D-D-Does that mean-?" I asked my eyes sparkling with excitement "Akaashi will you be my boyfriend?"
"Of course" he responded without a moments hesitation, he smiled again
"Does that mean I can-?" I was cut off by Akaashi forcefully grabbing my shoulders and pressing his lips to mine.
"Somehow he knew exactly what I was going to ask" I thought to myself as I melted into his touch kissing him back. He gently traced his fingers up my side, I could barely feel his fingers his touch was so light but it was enough to send shivers up my spine.
"You're beautiful" I gasped out as he pulled away "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise"
"Thank you Koutarou" He laughed softly, god was everything about this man beautiful.
"And I will love you forever" I wrapped my arms around him again leaning close to his ear "Keiji"
(A.N. so I hope you enjoyed and once again the deaf Akaashi A.U. will be getting it's own book because I have too many ideas for that specific A.U. sooooo look out for that thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed, leave a comment with what you wanna read next)