Katie
Griff beat me out of bed again the next morning. By the time I made it downstairs in my running gear, Griff had made – and drank – much of a pot of coffee. "What time did you get up?" I asked.
"About two hours ago."
"Why so early?"
"Couldn't sleep. Got up and started to play around on the computer. Looked at design ideas for the bedroom. Picked out some potential colors that I wanted your opinion on and, if you like them, I'll get some chips from the store today so that we can finalize our color choice. We could the closet built after work today and tomorrow, and perhaps while you are helping my mother make jam on the weekend I could paint the bedroom and retreat area. If you are amenable to it, we could go furniture shopping after that."
"That sounds good, but don't think you have to finish your bedroom to make me happy."
"I don't."
"How much coffee did you drink? You sound like a hamster on a wheel."
Griff laughed. "Too much. I want you to help out with the renovations. From now on, this is your house, too." He reached up and stretched. "This will be fun." He grinned as he pushed himself back from the table and motioned me forward. He captured me into a hug and pulled me down on his lap. "What do you think of these colors?" he said as he pointed at the storyboard that he had created, with pictures of various aspects of the master bedroom that he wanted to include as well as color swatches of a slightly more taupe-y color than the bathroom. He had accented the room in eggplant.
"Impressive", I said as I scrolled through his design ideas. "If you ever get tired of being a cop, you could become an interior decorator."
Griff laughed. "It's just fun to play with. Maybe we could go antique shopping this weekend."
I got off his lap and went to pour myself a glass of juice. Things were moving a little too fast for me, but I was quickly finding out that the reason Griff was so successful in life was because when he wanted something, he went for it. And he wouldn't stop until he was satisfied with what he had. He was like that with his house, he was like that in his job, and he was like that with me – and he wanted me to move in with him. I had to admit that his single-mindedness was good for my ego. I can't remember the last time someone wanted to be with me, let alone was as focused on me and on making me happy.
My brain full, I said, "are you ready for a run?"
Griff smiled. "Just let me hit the washroom first", he said. "I have to get rid of some of this coffee."
"I hope I'll be able to keep up to you today", I said. "You're on a caffeine high."
Griff laughed. "Yeah, but the run will burn it off."
Griff
Katie was a little quiet after I showed her the storyboards that I was preparing for the master bedroom. Did she think that she wasn't being consulted enough? I hoped not. It was just that I was excited about the idea that we were moving forward on a space that was ours. I remembered my mother telling me once that, when I got a bee in my bonnet about something, there was no holding me back. I would ruminate about it until whatever I was thinking about happened or was solved. It was, I thought, one of the reasons I was a good police officer. I never knew how to leave the cases at the office. I was always thinking about work.
But Katie was so quiet that I thought maybe an apology was in order. So, after the run was finished and we were warming down, as we were leaving the running path and walking towards the house again, I said, "I'm sorry if I upset you. I was just so excited about having a space of ours that I didn't take your need to be involved into account."
Katie looked at me as she lifted her shirt tail and wiped the sweat off her face. "Do you think I'm mad because you picked out some paint colors for me to look at and approve?"
I looked at her, not sure what the correct answer to that was. "Yes?" I said.
Katie laughed. "I'm not mad at you taking an initial stab at the color scheme. I think we should start by getting some throw pillows that we like first, though, and then pick the paint color from there. You may fall in love with a particular throw pillow and have to change your whole color scheme around."
"That's true."
"However, I'm a little overwhelmed by it all. As of last week, I was living on my own and going out with you, enjoying myself. I knew that wasn't where I wanted to be for the rest of my life, but I was happy being there at that moment of time. My biggest concern was that I was still a virgin, I didn't want to be, and I didn't know how to tell you otherwise. Now, a week later, I'm no longer a virgin, which is good, but I am also contemplating living with you and giving up my apartment, and helping you decorate my dream house. It's just a bit of a mind warp, and I haven't quite kept up with the changes."
"I'm sorry", I repeated. "It's just that I've been waiting for you for my whole life and, now that I've found you, I want to get started on the rest of our lives together."
"You need to relax and let it be."
I paused. While I understood what Katie was saying in theory, I didn't know how to do it on a practical level. "So, I shouldn't pick up paint chips?" I asked. I knew that I sounded just as confused as I felt.
Katie laughed. "No, you can pick up paint chips. But everything doesn't have to be done right away. We don't have to buy all the furniture this year so long as we have enough. And you have enough now. Let's take our time and really enjoy it."
I tried not to take too much notice of the fact that she had said that 'we don't have to buy' and 'let's take our time'. It seemed like she was getting used to the idea of moving in with me, and I couldn't be happier. "Okay", I said with a smile. "I'll try."
"That's the difference between your previous houses and this house. This house you want to be in for a long time, so it doesn't all have to be done right away. In your other houses, the intent was to finish them and flip them, so it did make sense to get as much done as you could immediately. This house will evolve as our family situation evolves."
Our family situation? Yup, she was definitely thinking about the two of us together for the long term. I don't think she even noticed that she said it.
She looked at her watch. "We'd better get a move on if we're taking the car to the mechanic's this morning. I'll eat while you have your shower, and when you are out of the shower we can switch."
Katie
"So...you're moving in with Griff?" asked Zoe as she floated down and sat on the counter near the toaster.
"Probably... most likely. It's just that I'm afraid it will all be yanked away from me."
"Love is always a risk", said Zoe. "The person who you care about the most also has the greatest power to hurt you. Do you trust him?"
"I don't think he'd willingly hurt me. It's the unwilling part that I'm worried about. It's moving so fast. What happens if he wakes up one morning and realizes he made a huge mistake?"
"What happens if he doesn't? Will you take the chance that you miss out on something good just because you're scared?" I didn't say anything. "Look, you can go as slowly as you like. You have just taken a huge step by going to bed with him. You can pause here for a bit, or you can move in and pause then. I think Griff will understand if you don't want to make too many changes at once. Do you think he's the one?"
I sighed. "Yeah, I do. I don't deserve him."
"And I think that, if you asked him, he would say the same thing about you. That he doesn't deserve you. You have to remember that Griff is partly trying to move things along so quickly because he is trying to tie you to him before you get tired of him and walk away. He wants you to be well and truly stuck with him."
"I would never be 'stuck' with him. He would be a joy to live with, to have in your corner for life."
"That may not be how he sees things."
I buttered the raisin toast and sliced some cheese. Eating standing up over the sink – because really, aren't the best meals eaten over the sink? – I thought about what Zoe had said. "I'm scared."
"I know", she said. "And that's okay. You need to decide whether you trust him to treat your heart gently. And if the answer to that is yes, then why are you hesitating?"
"I trust him."
"Then go for it. Be excited about starting your life together. Get involved in the decorating decisions. It's okay to be happy."
"Thanks, Zoe", I said as I heard Griff call down that the shower was free. I shoved in the last bite of toast and, chewing quickly, I ran up the stairs and into the shower.