October 29th
“Sorry for being late. Traffic,” Jaehyun flashed an apologetic grimace as he sat down.
The redness in his eyes had left, but the gaunt shadows on his face were still present. He peeled off his windbreaker to reveal his usual office attire, except his tie was loose and unfitted.
“That’s okay,” Taeyong replied softly. He pushed a cup of black coffee across the table and said, “Here, I ordered for you.”
Jaehyun nodded in gratitude. He took the cup and drank it all in one motion, letting out a breath and rubbing his palms against his face once he’d finished.
The table went silent for several seconds. Jaehyun looked too worn out and exhausted to say anything even though he’d initiated the meeting, and Taeyong was unsure of what to do. His hands, hidden under the table, nervously squeezed the lighter.
Finally, Jaehyun sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “Yesterday was a bit…well, I was being weird. I’m sorry you had to see that,” he smiled ruefully.
“Oh, it’s fine,” Taeyong shook his head. “We all have our off days.”
Jaehyun’s stare bored straight into Taeyong’s eyes. He didn’t say anything; he just stared until Taeyong started squirming.
“I haven’t been very nice to you,” Jaehyun remarked. He didn’t sound particularly guilty or apologetic, just matter-of-fact.
Taeyong shook his head again. “It’s not like you’re being mean. You’re just…reserved, I guess. That’s not a bad thing.”
“Still,” Jaehyun murmured. “You don’t deserve that kind of treatment, hyung.”
Speechless, Taeyong could only squeeze the lighter harder. When he’d gotten home yesterday, he’d tried flicking the lighter on only to discover that it was used up. He wondered if Jaehyun had smoked more after he left, because it wasn’t like he could only ever use one lighter. Why had he even given it to Taeyong in the first place?
“Jaehyun,” Taeyong said at last. He still wasn’t quite able to look Jaehyun in the eye. “I’m not going to pry anymore. If you ever want to talk about something then you can come to me, but I won’t push you. I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable.”
The two fell silent again. Jaehyun appeared as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders—he sat up straighter and relief rippled across his face. Taeyong smiled to himself, happy with the small victory.
After some time, Jaehyun checked his watch and grimaced. “I have to get back to work. But thanks for coming, hyung. I appreciate that.”
He’d only taken a few steps away from the table when he suddenly paused and spun around. “Actually, Taeyong-hyung,” Taeyong startled at the mention of his name and glanced at Jaehyun with wide eyes. Jaehyun seemed to have some mental battle going on in his head before he made up his mind and finally spoke again. “Do you want a ride back to the studio?”
Taeyong’s grip on the lighter loosened. “That’d be really nice, Jaehyun.”
November 6th
“He was so high he started making out with the lampshade. Sooyeon tried to drag him off, but then hyung just threw a book at her. Eventually, she got fed up and punched him in the face, and that was the only way we could stop him,” Jaehyun shook his head in bewilderment. “And that’s why the four of us decided that it wasn’t a good idea to get high together anymore. Soojung and I were scarred for life, and hyung has never been the same after getting punched by Sooyeon.”
From the passenger seat, Taeyong shot him a scandalized look. “Why would you ever get high together in the first place? Whose idea was that?”
Jaehyun rolled his eyes as he made a right turn. “Whose idea do you think it was?”
“Yunho-hyung,” they declared in unison.
“But still,” Taeyong said. “I can’t even imagine just busting out some weed with Donghae-hyung and Jeno. First of all Donghae hates all drugs, and also, how weird would it be for him and Jeno with their age difference? Yunho-hyung really is something else,” he shook his head in wonder.
“Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve gotten high with your siblings,” Jaehyun replied solemnly. As an afterthought, he added, “Actually, it’s both a good and bad thing. Because on one hand you learn a lot about them, but sometimes you end up learning too much.”
“Like Yunho-hyung’s love for the lampshade?”
“Yup. Krys likes to say that the reason he’s still single is because his one true love is Sica’s lampshade. Hyung looks like he wants to deck her every time she brings that back up.”
Taeyong frowned in confusion. “Krys? Sica?”
“Oh,” Jaehyun paused. “Their English names. Short for Krystal and Jessica.”
“Ah. I see,” Taeyong nodded. Suddenly, he thought of something and turned to Jaehyun with a curious expression. “What’s your English name, then?”
The car came to a halt at a red light. Jaehyun took that opportunity to take his eyes off the road, focus on Taeyong, and, in the most deadpan and matter-of-fact way, say, “Jeffrey.”
Silence.
“Kidding. It’s actually just Jay. Pretty boring compared to Jessica and Krystal.”
Taeyong shot him an unimpressed look. “I know you’re a mysterious guy an all, but Jeffrey? That’s just lame.”
“Actually, Johnny came up with it. Said some bullshit like I look like a Jeffrey or something, but I don’t buy it.”
“Not the worst thing in the world,” Taeyong mused. “Donghae-hyung once had this friend who wanted people to refer to him as Bryan Trevor. It was weird. I guess that’s why Kibum-hyung disappeared and no one's ever heard from him since."
Jaehyun wrinkled his nose. “Gross. I knew a lot of Bryans and a lot of Trevors in school, but I’d never want to meet a Bryan Trevor. Or a Trevor Bryan.”
He pulled up in front of D&E and unlocked the passenger door. “Anyway, make sure you get high with your brothers at some point in your life. It’s a real experience.”
“I’d rather not give hyung a heart attack,” Taeyong responded flatly. He unbuckled his seat belt and shook his head at Jaehyun as he hopped out the car.
“Suit yourself,” Jaehyun shrugged. “And hey! Do me a favor and tell Yunho-hyung you know about the lampshade!”
“I’m not evil like you!” Taeyong retorted.
(He did in fact end up mentioning the lampshade to Yunho, who blanched and used some choice words to curse Jaehyun)
November 9th
Taeyong flung his hands up in frustration. “I just don’t get why Jeno needed to steal all my chocolate! I specifically hid it up in the top shelf because neither of us can reach it—I had to stand up on a chair and everything—and somehow that little brat knew exactly where it was!”
“It’s just chocolate, hyung,” Jaehyun remarked dryly.
“It’s not just chocolate! Tennie brought it back for me from Thailand, and I planned on rationing it out so it could last longer. But then Jeno just snuck into my apartment using a copy of my key—I don’t even know when he had the opportunity to take my key and get a copy—and he goddamn knew everything. He stole my chocolate, Jaehyun!”
Jaehyun snorted. “Okay, no need to be so aggressive. Shouldn’t you have some kind of older brother power over him? Like, doesn’t that just come with being siblings?”
“It doesn’t work,” Taeyong pouted. He slumped against the car window and gazed outside wistfully, dreaming of all the Thai chocolates he could have eaten during Netflix marathons. Alas. “Jeno’s too much of a smartass.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t really work with us, either. Sooyeon has all the power even though hyung’s older,” Jaehyun agreed. “We're always taking Yunho-hyung’s stuff, but no one dares mess with Sooyeon.”
“You don’t seem like someone other people would want to mess with, either,” Taeyong blurted before he could stop himself.
Instead of addressing Taeyong’s statement, Jaehyun switched the topic to the first and last time he’d gotten drunk with his siblings(“There’s a very big difference between getting high and getting drunk, mind you, hyung.”), and how although it was not quite as memorable, Soojung did end up breaking her wrist after attempting a cartwheel.
When he stopped next to Taeyong’s apartment complex, he said, “I guess not, hyung.”
It took Taeyong a while to figure out what he meant by that.
November 10th
One second Taeyong was innocently walking down the hall to check in on Taeyeon’s voice class, and the next thing he knew a pair of arms had snatched him and dragged him into an unused office.
“What the hell!” Taeyong shrieked, his voice about two octaves too high. “What’s going on?”
“Relax, Taeyongie,” Yoona, an acting assistant, shushed him with a slender finger. “We’ve only brought you here to ask a few questions,” she smiled with way too sweet of a smile for someone who’d just kidnapped him.
Taeyong made a face as he scanned the room. Yoona sat him down in a chair while three other women stood before him. Taeyeon had her arms crossed with a face that meant all business, while Sooyeon and Soojung replicated her stance.
Wait.
“What are you doing here?” Taeyong stared at Sooyeon and Soojung in disbelief. “Neither of you work here!”
Taeyeon waved a hand dismissively. “I invited them,” she replied as if that made everything make sense.
“Noona, aren’t you supposed to be teaching a class right now?”
“I sent Soonkyu to take care of it,” she shrugged.
Resigned to his fate, Taeyong sighed and glanced at the three women. “Okay, what’s going on?”
Soojung smirked. “Taeyeon-unnie told us she’s seen Jaehyun driving you to work these past few days. Then Yoona-unnie mentioned that he’s even been picking you up after work, too.”
Taeyong shot her an unamused look. “You dragged me in here just to talk about Jaehyun?”
The two sisters leaned in up close. “Well it depends on what you have to tell us about our little brother,” Sooyeon winked.
“There’s nothing to tell,” Taeyong insisted. “He just offered to drive me because we have similar hours and I don’t have a car. He’s just being nice.”
Sooyeon snorted. “Please. I’ve seen Johnny and Sicheng begging for rides to no avail. Jaehyunnie isn’t that nice.”
“We’re just friends!”
Taeyeon, Yoona, Sooyeon, and Soojung all exchanged unconvinced smirks.
“Wait,” Yoona suddenly held her hand up. “I actually have a question. The other day I overheard Yunho-oppa yelling something about a lampshade and Jaehyun to Taeyong. What was that all about?”
Soojung’s jaw dropped. “He told you about the lampshade?”
Perplexed, Taeyong nodded.
“That story was never to leave the Jung siblings,” Sooyeon groaned. “Damn, he must really like you.”
“He doesn’t like me!”
The women all shook their heads again. “Okay, Taeyongie. Whatever you say,” Soojung grinned like a cat.
“I’d say this intervention was moderately successful,” Yoona commented.
“All the better knowing Yunho’s paid us to do this,” Taeyeon agreed.
Taeyong tilted his head in confusion. First he’d been kidnapped, and now it turned out that Yunho was the prime aggressor? “Yunho-hyung paid you to drag me here and interrogate me?”
“Obviously,” Sooyeon winked again. “Why else would we?”
Sometimes, Taeyong was glad he was gay. Women were scary.
November 18th
“So have you gotten high with your brothers yet?”
“Please shut up.”
November 19th
“This may sound mean,” Jaehyun commented between sips of his tea (that Taeyong had given him when he got in the car). “But it’s not actually that bad hanging out with you, Taeyong-hyung. Once you stopped getting embarrassed all the time, that is.”
Taeyong quelled every nerve in his body that told him to throw his iced coffee at Jaehyun’s dumb (handsome) face. “Well you weren’t very much fun to talk to at first, either,” he retorted.
“Aww, you’re sassy, too?”
“I’m literally two years older than you. Start respecting me.”
“Yunho-hyung’s eleven years older than me and I’ve never respected him.”
“Yeah, well you’re one to talk,” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “You’re also surprisingly fun to hang out with. I get a personal chauffeur, even though you’re still so hot and cold all the time.”
That, Taeyong belatedly realized, was the wrong thing to say. Jaehyun switched off immediately, and the rest of the ride was spent in silence.
November 23rd
“So,” Ten sang, pausing as he poured his coffee. “I saw you take the bus today. Where’s your little driver?”
Taeyong blushed. “He flew back to America to spend some holiday with his high school friends. Something about how the plane tickets were worth it for a turkey dinner. He said he’s coming back on the thirtieth, though.”
“How cute, you know his whole schedule” Ten teased. As he dumped packet after packet of sugar into his coffee, he casually asked, “Will Jaehyun be around for Christmas?”
Huh? Honestly, Taeyong had no idea because, contrary to Ten’s earlier claim, he actually did not know Jaehyun’s entire schedule, thank you very much. Besides, wasn’t Christmas a little too far in the future?
Taeyong shrugged. “I don’t know. But if he is he should join in on Taeil-hyung’s.”
At the mention of Taeil, Ten automatically grimaced and stopped ripping open sugar packets. “Actually, about Christmas…” he trailed off with a sheepish grin.
Taeyong froze. “No…”
“Oh, yes,” Ten confirmed all of Taeyong’s worst fears. “As it turns out, Taeil-hyung cannot host a Christmas party this year because his family are requesting his presence this year. Yuta and Sicheng—who’ve just gone official, by the way—are taking a trip to Osaka, and then Doyoung wants to spend Christmas with his girlfriend.”
“Christmas isn’t Christmas without Taeil’s,” Taeyong sniffed in sadness. “Can I third wheel you and Johnny, then?”
Ten shifted skittishly. “Normally I would say yes. Except…Johnny and I may or may not be going to Bangkok…”
Taeyong gasped and covered his mouth in shock. “Ten…you’re letting Johnny meet your parents before me?”
“I know, I know,” Ten immediately rushed over and rubbed Taeyong’s back soothingly. “I know I promised you that you’d be the first I’d fly over, but my parents have been dying to meet Johnny for five years now and the timing’s only just worked out. You’ll be the next one I take home with me; I promise!”
“I feel so betrayed,” Taeyong sighed with a faraway look in his eyes. “Everyone’s ditched me.”
Ten hugged him. “How about your brothers? I’m sure they’d love to spend Christmas with you,” Ten suggested.
Taeyong shook his head miserably. “Jeno’s visiting Jaemin’s family, and I’d feel bad interrupting Donghae-hyung when, you know, it’s their first Christmas as a married couple. It’s okay, though. I’ll just—”
And then an idea struck him.
December 8th
Ever since college, Taeyong always had a very important Christmas schedule he swore by. He’d spent Christmas Eve with Donghae and Jeno—and by extension Hyukjae and Jaemin--and after unwrapping his presents the next morning, he’d head over to Taeil’s house.
Taeil didn’t have the biggest place, but he was the oldest so he took the responsibility of hosting. Taeyong, Doyoung, Johnny, Ten, Yuta, and Sicheng would all come over with Secret Santa gifts. Then they’d cook ramyun and cuddle up in front of the TV to some cheesy Christmas movie until one by one, everyone fell asleep. It wasn’t a particularly fancy or extravagant tradition, but Taeyong loved it.
The only problem with Christmas, as Taeyong was now very much aware of, was that it was also considered a lover’s holiday, hence all the prior engagements this year. He couldn’t blame any of his friends, really, because it was good that they all had thriving love lives. But it only reminded Taeyong for the thousandth time of his own single status.
“Hey,” Jaehyun interrupted Taeyong’s thoughts. “What do you think about this for Soojung?”
Taeyong blinked. Jaehyun held up a pair of white driving gloves with intricate gold patterns and lacework.
“Oh, uh, they’re really pretty,” Taeyong responded. They were actually quite nice. Jaehyun had a good eye for these things.
“Mmm, I think she’ll like them,” Jaehyun agreed. In his other hand, he already had a box containing a pair of pearl earrings for Sooyeon. He’d also gotten a new pair of shiny black dress shoes for Yunho.
As Jaehyun paid for the items, Taeyong physically winced when he saw the number on the register. He could have paid two months rent and still had enough leftover to treat Ten to beef with that much money.
It wasn’t like Taeyong didn’t already know. He’d been inside Jaehyun’s Mercedes plenty of times, and one look at that gleaming watch and those silk ties was all it took. Yunho’s workout gear probably cost more than Taeyong’s entire closet, and he’d seen Sooyeon and Soojung’s jewelry. And then there was the matter of their parents sending off three of them to boarding school in America. The Jungs were, without a doubt, a very wealthy family.
Outside, Jaehyun put his gifts for his siblings in the trunk. “You said there’s a specific place you wanted to look at?”
Taeyong nodded. “There’s this thrift store I go to when I’m looking for presents. A lot of the stuff is just junk, but there’s always something good you can find. It’s actually just down the street, so we can just walk,” he explained.
Jaehyun hummed in the cold air. “Lead the way.”
The thrift store was squeezed between a bakery and a move theater, hidden out of sight from most pedestrians. Taeyong had first stumbled upon the store one chilly January in refuge for warmth, and he’d been amazed by the sheer amount of objects surrounding him. The store was clutter personified and had no real rhyme or reason, but every now and then, Taeyong would see something amazing.
“Ooh, look how cute!” He gushed over a mini cat plushie on a keychain. “Ten would love this!”
Even Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile (dimples, Taeyong thought in the back of his mind). “You should get one for Johnny, too. He’s a sucker for couple items,” Jaehyun suggested, selecting a similar cat keychain.
Taeyong’s eyes lit up. “You’re a genius, Jung Jaehyun!”
The two continued to browse the store with Taeyong’s childish excitement and Jaehyun’s quieter, but equally amused, demeanor. Once Taeyong had amassed enough presents—the keychains for Johnny and Ten, a bunny mug for Doyoung, a humidifier for Taeil to keep his throat in good condition, and couple earrings for Yuta and Sicheng—he headed for the cashier. On his way, however, he spotted something that made him stop in his tracks.
“Aww, look at this music box,” he gushed.
The box was fairly simple—just a wooden cube with flowers painted on the sides and a crank up handle. When Taeyong opened it, the inside was equally simplistic with a small wooden figurine of a faceless girl with long brown hair and a white dress. She held a singular rose to her chest, and she was one of the prettiest things Taeyong had ever seen.
Jaehyun took the box out of Taeyong’s hands to examine it as well. “I wonder what song it plays,” Jaehyun mulled over the thought before turning the handle. It turned out to just be some kind of lullaby, but Taeyong was in love.
“The first Christmas without our parents, Donghae-hyung couldn’t afford any presents but he still wanted to give us something. So he took this old music box our parents gave him a few Christmases before and let me have it,” Taeyong recounted fondly.
He still remembered waking up on Christmas morning and not expecting anything. Even back then, he knew that they barely had enough money to get buy, and that Donghae was gone so much because he was trying to get money. But then Donghae told him to check his stocking, and the little blue music box that played a Mozart symphony made that Christmas one of Taeyong’s happiest.
“Do you still have the box?” Jaehyun questioned.
Taeyong shook his head. “I kept it for a long time, but then I gave it back to Donghae-hyung as a wedding present. You should have seen how hard he cried,” he laughed softly.
He stared at the music box one last time before shaking his head. “Anyway. We should get going.”
December 15th
At this point, it became second nature to come home and find a pair of unfamiliar shoes in the corridor. Normally Taeyong wouldn’t have minded, but he’d just had a long day at work—Taeyeon had been up to her usual shenanigans and she’s unfortunately dragged Yoona and Seulgi into them—and didn’t feel like seeing Jeno eat all his snacks again.
“Jeno, you’d better not have raided my Cheetos again,” Taeyong shouted as he stormed down the hall. “Because I swear I’ll—what the fuck!” He shrieked, clutching his chest in shock.
Jaehyun looked up from his book ever so casually and said, “Hey.”
Taeyong closed his eyes. This was a test, he reasoned. Jaehyun wasn’t actually in his apartment right now, and when he opened his eyes he’d realize that he was alone. Taeyeon’s antics had just gotten to his head, that’s all. The stress of the day was making him hallucinate.
When he opened his eyes, Jaehyun was still there.
“Why are you here? How did you get in here?” Taeyong demanded.
“I climbed through the window.”
“Nice try.”
“Jeno gave me a key.”
“He what?!”
“Kidding. I stopped by and you left your door unlocked. That’s not very safe, hyung. Anybody could just come in,” Jaehyun tsked.
Taeyong shot him an unimpressed look. “So why’d you come here?”
Jaehyun was suddenly very engrossed in his book.
“Okay,” Taeyong sighed. He knew better than to pry when Jaehyun didn’t answer. Defeated, he came over and threw himself down on the couch next to Jaehyun.
“Long day?” Jaehyun asked without looking away from his book.
“Taeyeon-noona.”
Jaehyun chuckled. “Ah, the classic. The first time Sooyeon brought Taeyeon-noona over was crazy. They were like two children.”
Taeyong shuddered at the thought, remembering the way they’d pinched his cheeks at Yuta and Sicheng’s birthday party. “She’s great, but sometimes a little much,” he agreed. “You know, the other day she and Yoona-noona dragged me into an empty office and started interrogating me. Your sisters were there, too.”
“Oh?” Jaehyun glanced up, his interest piqued. “I didn’t know about this. What happened?”
Realizing that it was too embarrassing to explain the full story, Taeyong played it cool and just shrugged. “Well I told Yunho-hyung about the lampshade like you said and Yoona-noona overheard it. Your sisters swore me to secrecy,” he lied.
“That sounds a lot like them,” Jaehyun shook his head in amusement. “They do unnecessary stuff like that all the time. It’s not like they’re the ones who made out with a lampshade; they shouldn’t be so embarrassed. Yunho-hyung was the dumb one.”
Despite his words, the way Jaehyun spoke about his siblings sounded incredibly fond. Protective too, in some strange way. He seemed to love them, but wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud.
Taeyong started biting his nails. “Jaehyun, do you have any Christmas plans? Like, are you going to spend it with your family?”
A flicker of unease passed through Jaehyun’s eyes. Taeyong was worried he’d gone too far again, but then Jaehyun just shrugged. “We’re not really that into Christmas. Sooyeon and Soojung always fly over to California to celebrate with their old host families, and Yunho-hyung likes going on his own trips. I think he’s off to Japan in a few days.”
“What about you?” Taeyong bit down too harshly, wincing as he broke into the skin on his fingertips.
“Sometimes I go back to America too, but not this year. Already went for Thanksgiving so I won’t go for Christmas,” Jaehyun replied.
The fact that Jaehyun only talked about his siblings struck Taeyong as odd. “What about the rest of your family? Don’t your parents want you to spend the holidays with them?” He asked.
That, Taeyong quickly realized, was definitely the wrong thing to say. Jaehyun forced out an uncomfortable grimace, said, “We all prefer to just do our own thing,” and immediately went back to his book.
Taeyong bit back a scream of frustration. Even after almost two months of friendship, he still felt like he couldn’t read Jaehyun at all. Every time he thought he was getting closer, Jaehyun would just recede again. Taeyong wasn’t asking for Jaehyun’s deepest secrets and full life story, but he just wanted to know more about him. Anything, really, because right now, the only things Taeyong knew were that Jaehyun came from a rich family and loved his siblings.
The thing was, Jaehyun would never open up unless Taeyong reached out first.
“Jaehyun,” he reached over and pushed the book down just enough to lock eyes. “Do you want to spend Christmas with me?”
December 25th
Taeyong glanced at the clock as he placed ornaments on his mini tree. At first he’d been sad at the thought of not having room for a big tree like the one Donghae put up every year, but the little one he’d bought was cute and worked well enough.
Just as he’d finished putting the star on top, the doorbell rang. Excitement coursed through Taeyong’s veins as he skipped over to open the door. “Merry Christmas, Jaehyunnie!” He greeted enthusiastically.
Jaehyun smiled briefly in greeting as he shook the snow off his coat. White flakes decorated his black hair, and Taeyong thought he looked like an angel.
“Here,” Jaehyun held out a box wrapped in pale blue wrapping paper and a green bow. “This is for you,” he explained awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.
For once, he looked so unsure of himself, and it was adorable. Taeyong bit back a smile as he led his guest into the living room. “That’s really sweet of you. Just put it under the tree and we can open presents later,” he gestured to the mini tree.
“Ah…” Jaehyun trailed off as he eyed the tree with an unreadable expression. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Right.”
Taeyong furrowed his brow in confusion. Why was Jaehyun staring at the tree like it had offended him? Did he not like it?
“Anyway,” Jaehyun cleared his throat after he set down the gift. “What do you want to do now?”
Previous thoughts forgotten, Taeyong perked up and grinned. “Usually a bunch of us go to Taeil-hyung’s house and eat ramyun and watch movies until we fall asleep. Unfortunately, all of them have ditched me this year, so I thought we could do the same to keep the tradition alive,” Taeyong explained excitedly.
Jaehyun nodded slowly. With a small smirk, he teasingly asked, “So am I just your backup hoe, hyung?”
I wish. “I can’t believe you think I’d stoop so low,” Taeyong shoved him. “Do you want ramyun or not?”
“Backup hoe it is.”
Long after their bowls were emptied and the credits of Elf had rolled, Taeyong felt warm and happy. Jaehyun, as it turned out, did not find Will Ferrell funny at all and spent the whole time roasting the movie. Despite Taeyong’s everlasting love for it, he couldn’t help but giggle at every snarky comment Jaehyun made.
Now, Taeyong was curled up on the couch with the pink stuffed cat Jaehyun had gifted him (and no, Taeyong most definitely did not squeal in joy at the cuteness when he opened the box. He was obviously too old for that). Jaehyun, for some reason, lay on the floor, staring up at the mini tree like he wanted nothing more than to burn it.
Taeyong was about to get up and put their bowls in the sink when Jaehyun suddenly spoke up.
“Remember when you asked me why I went to school in America?”
He did remember. Very well, in fact.
Jaehyun continued glowering up at the tree. “When Sooyeon was eight, she caught our father with another woman. He flew her off on the next plane to San Francisco so she wouldn’t tell our mother. Yunho-hyung wasn’t good at English and was already halfway through his education, so he stayed in Seoul. But I guess my father worried about the rest of us finding out, so he sent me and Soojung away, too.”
He laughed mirthlessly, the sound harsh and grating to Taeyong’s ears. “What kind of fucking idiot thinks the best way to get rid of his problems is to ship his kids to another country?”
Taeyong didn’t say anything. What could he say at a time like this?
“Anyway. Only Sooyeon knew for a long time. Soojung and I had no idea why we had to go to foreign schools, but we were too young to question it. Hyung didn’t know, either, because our dad somehow hid it from him. Then I came back the summer after fourth grade, and something felt different about the house. It was because Sooyeon told our mom the truth.”
“She and Yunho-hyung told me and Soojung what was going on. They said that things were going to be weird between our parents for a while, and that they didn’t know if they would still be together. But by the time I left to go back to Connecticut, our parents were still together.”
“When we all came back for Christmas that year…well, I guess our dad had had enough. He got drunk on Christmas Day and started saying some really shitty things. He told Sooyeon she was a bitch and a whore for being a snitch, and then he got so mad he knocked over the Christmas tree. One of the glass ornaments fell on Soojung and she got cut pretty badly. Yunho was twenty-one, so he tried to stop our dad. He just got punched in the chest for that.”
“Then Mom stood up. She was crying, asking our father not to leave. He just laughed at her, so she got down on her knees and literally started begging. She told him she loved him and wanted him to stay, that she needed him in her life. She went on and on about how much she loved him, and all we could do was watch as someone who clearly didn't love her back laughed.”
Jaehyun turned his head so he was facing Taeyong, who was frozen in shock. With a little, twisted smile, Jaehyun continued. “And you know what’s really sick? He stayed. He stayed with her and continued fucking other women and sending his kids to American schools. And our mother still loved him even though she knew what a shitty bastard he was. She loved him that much,” he scoffed.
“That was the last Christmas we spent together. After that, the four of us just did our own thing every year, no matter how hard our mother tried to convince us to come back. The psycho eventually died of a heart attack a few years ago, and we didn’t go to the funeral. None of us have even seen our mom in years.”
When he finished, Jaehyun closed his eyes and just sighed.
Taeyong, who still hadn’t moved, exhaled. Fidgeting with the ears of the stuffed cat, Taeyong very cautiously said, “Jaehyun, you didn’t have to share that much if you’re not comfortable.”
“It’s okay,” Jaehyun replied, his voice devoid of any emotion. He sat up and hugged his knees to his chest, the pain from his story having worn him down. “I just wanted to tell someone.”
After a few rings, Soojung finally picked up the phone. “Taeyong? Isn’t it past midnight in Korea?” She asked in bewilderment, the background noise blurring her voice.
“Hi, noona,” he greeted quietly. “Sorry to bother you on Christmas.”
“Wait, hold on a sec,” Soojung said. Vaguely, Taeyong could hear the sound of her jogging somewhere. When the noisiness faded, she said, “No, it’s fine. What’s up?”
Taeyong stared at his tree, wondering how much pain Jaehyun had been in by just seeing it. “Jaehyun came over for dinner. He left a couple hours ago.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember him mentioning that. How was he?”
Deciding to cut straight to the point, Taeyong sighed and clutched his phone tighter. “He told me about your dad.”
Soojung didn’t say anything. After several moments of silence, he heard her exhale and could tell she was running her hand through her hair.
“Taeyong,” she said at last. “Do you like my brother? And you know what I mean by liking him.”
Taeyong shrugged, then remembered she couldn’t see him. “I think so. At first I just thought he was handsome, and then every time he talked to me he seemed so mysterious in a sad way, like he was hiding away. And then we became friends and I love spending time with him. But now I’m worried that I’ve pushed him too far.”
“I’m taking that as you definitely do like him. And that’s okay—that’s great, actually, because he seems to like having you around, too. I wouldn’t worry too much, because Jae never says anything unless he actually wants to.”
“But Yongie,” Soojung’s voice turned deadly serious. “I don’t know if you likes you in the same way. I wouldn’t be surprised, but there’s some things he’s exceptionally good at keeping secret. You’ve got to be patient with him, especially after he’s just spilled some painful stuff. Be his friend first before you expect anything more. He’s got a whole lot more than just his past on his mind these days.”
Taeyong smiled a little as he hugged the cat to his chest. “Have you always been this smart, noona?”
“Wow, you little piece of shit,” Soojung laughed. Taeyong could practically see her roll her eyes through her voice. “I’ll have you know that even though Sooyeon’s the genius, I’m smarter than Yunho-oppa. It’s not saying much, but it’s still something.”
Taeyong giggled. “Thanks, noona. I’ll let you go back to your family.”
“Oh wait, could you do me a favor and keep daily updates on Jongin and Jinri at work? I’m worried that they’ll do something stupid without me in the country, and then they’ll definitely a way to drag Taemin into it.”
“Of course.”
“Now I see why all the unnies like you so much. Love you!”
December 29th
Jaehyun groaned as the yellow light turned red just as they got to the front. “Fucking typical. Why do I even drive when the traffic gods are never on my side,” he growled.
Beside him, Taeyong just smiled. “Well if you didn’t drive then I wouldn’t have a chauffeur would I?”
“Are you finally admitting that you only keep me around to exploit me for my free labor?” Jaehyun side-eyed him with a dirty look.
“Well not really, but it does have its perks. Your Mercedes, for one thing,” Taeyong stuck out his tongue.
After approximately twenty seconds had passed and the light was still red, Jaehyun groaned again and pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. “I hate Seoul so much. Why are there so many fucking people. Why is everyone such a shitty driver. Why do I have to deal with this,” he whined.
Taeyong giggled. “Stop complaining all the time, Mr. America. I bet you’ve never experienced the Seoul metro during rush hour, so you don’t get to complain about traffic.”
“Well you can’t even drive so you don’t know the true pain of it,” Jaehyun fired back.
“Oh! You can go now!”
“Thank god,” Jaehyun grumbled. “I thought I’d never get out of this fucking intersection.”
As Jaehyun drove through the busy streets of Seoul with plenty of angry mumbling, Taeyong stifled his laughter and watched him with fond eyes. He was going to take it slow, Taeyong decided. At this moment in time, all he knew for sure was that he liked Jaehyun. A lot. But they were friends first, and Jaehyun needed a friend more than he needed a romantic partner. So Taeyong would take things slow and give Jaehyun time, and then he’d see where they’d go from there.
Until then, he’d be patient