You stared horrified at the words on the page, not quite comprehending how Odin could be so much of an ass. Loki's secret wasn't even in danger anymore, it was already exposed. Your brain whirled, trying to find a way around the orders. Not all orders were binding. Normal everyday conversations, comments that could be taken as orders, things like that could be ignored. It was direct orders, stated as an order that were binding. And a direct order from the king? There was no getting around that, no matter how much it would kill you to obey, no matter how much it would devastate his son.
"Thank the Norns I was here and saw that letter," Loki said softly as his arms wrapped around you, holding you against his chest with your arms pinned to your sides before you could protest or be forced to obey the orders. "Odin would have had you break my heart so I believed the lie and run so we'd never see each other again," he said sadly, horrified and heartbroken that Odin would stoop to being that mean for no good reason. He worked a few quick pieces of magic, a shield around your little piece of the courtyard, a shield around the letter before it could self-destruct, and an illusion to go do....something.
"Loki, I have to. I cant-" you protested, struggling against him even as you fought the compulsions to do as you were told. You both knew that you couldn't fight the compulsions long. He also knew that if he kept a grip on you that you couldn't teleport away without him.
"No," he told you firmly. "Listen to me, Kyrie. Y/N, listen. I'm not going to let Odin get away with this. But you're going to have to help me," he told you, trying to make you understand before you could panic too much about disobeying orders about not obeying instantly like you were ordered.
"I have to. I have to!" you wailed, panicked already, though you tried to fight. It hurt. You couldn't help panicking. There were orders that needed obeying and he wasn't letting you. Your wrist burned, the tattoo and sigil burning in reminder that you were shirking your duty, and your body shuddered, torn between the orders you weren't obeying and hurting your charge. You couldn't hurt your charge. But you had to obey the king whether you wanted to or not. "Loki," you whimpered, shuddering and sobbing from physical pain, grief, heartache.
"I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry to do this to you, but I am not letting Odin do this to us, not again," Loki told you firmly. You looked up at him with tears spilling from your eyes. "Lady Valkyrie. You are sword to my service. Obey me now. You will not be obeying Odin's orders." That wasn't enough even for him to override the king. It would take a lot more than that. Orders from even the queen, Loki could just override, but not orders from Odin, not like this. "If either of us wanted this courtship to end, I would let you go in a heartbeat, but neither of us want that. Correct?" he asked gently. You nodded. It wasn't enough to calm your panic, to stop the effects on your body and mind from not following Odin's orders. "Put away your wings, darling," he told you. He had to act quickly. You couldn't fight against Odin's orders for long. Normally you could have ignored a casual order like the one Loki'd given, but you were already a mess from not obeying Odin that you did so automatically, just do to something of your duties. Your wings faded away. Loki's grip on you tightened and he hauled you onto his lap to hold you more securely against him.
"It hurts," you wept, sobbing into his shoulder. Your body shook from the effort at fighting the orders, fought against hurting Loki so you could obey. You couldn't hurt your Loki.
"I know, love. I know," he whispered, not daring to loosen his grip around you in case your fragile control broke. You were stronger than he was and you both knew it, but he would keep you with him as long as he could. "Forgive me, my love, but I will keep you safe and with us," he added softly, heartbreak in his voice. "You can hate me for this, as long as you're safe." You looked up at him, confused. He was in danger. He was hurting. Your charge was hurting, but Odin demanded you obey. It was tearing you apart. Loki would do everything in his power to save you both from Odin's orders. You both would. There wasn't much you could do, but you were trying. "I'm sorry love. It's only until we can break those orders properly, I give you my word," he insisted. He waved his hand and you felt cold metal around your neck in the same instant your powers were gone. You felt the metal shimmer, changing shape to look like a necklace instead of the restraining collar it was. Even through all of this, Loki was trying to spare your dignity, pride, spare you from embarrassment. Still, it bound your powers.
"Loki," you whimpered softly. You couldn't believe he had bound your powers, though it made perfect sense. He couldn't compete with your physically and had no hope fighting against both your magic and physical strength. He had a chance if he could use magic against you if you lost control.
"I know, darling. I never wanted to do this. Ever. Thor brought that with him in case I went evil and crazy. I stole it from him ages ago and meant to destroy it. You're not disobeying Odin's orders if you're being kept from obeying," he reminded you softly. He knew the law and rules better than anyone.
"I'm stronger than you," you reminded him softly. You couldn't fight the orders forever. Eventually you would lose and he might get hurt trying to restrain you.
"I'm well aware of that, darling," he told you dryly, more calmly since you couldn't escape through his shielding. You could get off his lap, could say whatever you had to in order to end the relationship, which wouldn't work, but you couldn't vanish to where he'd never find you again. "One more thing and I'll let you go. At least until my idiot brother shows up to help us. He should be arriving any moment. I did tell him it was urgent." Loki lifted your left hand to his lips and kissed your ring. You felt the magic around it, binding it to your finger. You couldn't remove it. He wasn't going to let you end the relationship just because Odin was an ass. His arms were suddenly no longer around you. "Follow the letter of the orders, love. It will buy us time," he reminded you.
"I don't want to hurt you," you whimpered, even as you scrambled to your feet, to pace, to do something rather than just be helpless to Odin's orders.
"Think, love, breathe. You've done this before when I went on that mission and Frigga forbade you to go with me," Loki reminded you gently. You'd gone anyway, following the letter of the order. You hadn't gone after Loki, hadn't tracked him. You'd tracked Thor and gone after him instead. It had caused the same panic attacks and pain then, but you'd done it to make sure they were safe on the dangerous mission. You'd also gotten in a shitload of trouble for that stunt. Especially when you were supposed to be in bed with a nasty bout of an awful illness that had been going around. Loki stood from the bench too, but kept his distance. You paced while you thought, while you mulled over the words you needed. You had to get them right.
"Despite my wishes on the subject, I must make a formal request to end our courtship," you finally said, though even those words hurt to say. You both knew you didn't mean it, both knew that you weren't saying that you wanted the relationship to end.
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request," Loki replied with a hint of a smirk, just a hint. He was still pissed about this whole situation, but you were safe for a little while with your actions. "Means 'no'," he added. "At least not unless you actually wish to break off the engagement," he amended for your benefit. You nodded, but went back to pacing. You had made an attempt, that bought you a little time, but only a little. "Calm down, love. You did what he said. You're not in contact with either of the princes, at least not physically which fulfills the letter of the order if not the intent, and you broke off the relationship. It's most unfortunate that your prince, your charge, did not allow the relationship to end due to your coercion on the matter." Loki's silver tongue had always been good with laws and the letter of the law vs the intent behind the law. It had saved you both from a lot of groundings over the years. You'd still been given enough groundings that even he hadn't be able to talk you out of...
You breathed, fought to remind yourself that you fulfilled your obligation. "It won't hold," you told him, pacing, but slower, more calmly. "It wasn't enough,"
"I know, but it bought us time," he reminded you.
It was then that Thor strode over to your shielded section of courtyard. Loki walked over to the shield, reached a hand through and dragged Thor in. He wasn't giving you a chance to escape. Even without your powers. "Took you long enough," Loki snarled at Thor. It had been less than five minutes.
"What's going on here?" Thor demanded, staring at you. You were a mess, barefoot, your dress disheveled, hair a mess, and had obviously been crying. Plus your magic was bound. "What did you do, Loki?" he snarled.
"I did nothing. Don't touch her, it's the only thing keeping her even this calm," Loki snapped before Thor could go to you. Loki grabbed the shielded letter and handed it to Thor. "One of the ravens delivered that to her," he growled. Thor read over the page and blanched before his anger flared.
"That's why she's in this state?" he demanded. Loki nodded. "Why don't you just override the order?"
"I can't. Not so quickly anyway. Even you should remember that orders from the king outrank even orders from those to whom they owe personal service. It was all I could do to keep her here and in one piece," Loki reminded Thor, glaring.
"You know I had no reason to memorize the Valkyrie laws," Thor reminded him sourly. Thor hadn't done nay more studying than was absolutely necessary. "So what do we do?"
Before Loki could answer, the unmistakable rainbow lights of the Bifrost surrounded the three of you. "What are you doing?" Loki demanded, looking around panicked. His panic focused you on your actual duty. You had sworn oaths to protect your prince. He was scared. He needed protecting now.
"This is not my doing," Thor protested. You rushed over to the pair of them as they summoned their armor. Thor's grip on Mjolnir tightened.
"Loki!" you called, helpless. You didn't want to fight in an evening gown. You could, but you really didn't want to. You pulled the daggers out of the sheaths on your arms, hidden under the long sleeves of your dress, when you made it to Loki. He wasn't at all surprised that you were armed. You never went out without at least one dagger. Even without your powers you wouldn't be unable to defend him.
"Are you up for this, darling?" he asked, concerned. Your emotions were compromised and you all knew it.
"My love, my charge, needs me. You have not dismissed me from your service. Despite Odin's orders, my duty to you is clear," you told him firmly. Your duty to him could overrule your orders from Odin. He looked impressed at your reply, at your level of care for him. He touched your sleeve, careful not to touch you and ruin your control, your ability to fight back Odin's orders, and your armor shimmered into place.
The Bifrost activated and the three of you were flying up the rainbow bridge. It was a sensation you hadn't felt in centuries, but you braced automatically for it anyway. You and the boys had gone on plenty of adventures over the years to various other realms. You knew how to travel by Bifrost.
The three of you stepped out into the Bifrost chamber and were faced with Heimdall and his huge-ass sword. You automatically stepped in front of the boys, not knowing what danger you were facing, but it couldn't be good that you were summoned from Midgard, especially not after the shit Odin had just pulled.
"Your Highnesses, Lady Valkyrie," Heimdall greeted you all. He wasn't offended that you were armed and standing defensively in front of your boys. They were both under your protection and you were a Valkyrie of Asgard.
"Why have you summoned us?" Thor demanded.
"I was ordered to bring the three of you here," Heimdall replied with his ever-present calm.
"By whom?" Thor demanded more firmly. Heimdall was usually clearer.
"By me," a woman's voice replied. You all whirled to the sound. In the doorway to the Bifrost chamber was Frigga, queen of Asgard, Thor's mother, and Loki's adopted mother.
"Mother?" the boys asked at the same time. You shifted to keep your defensive position in front of your charges.
"Peace, Lady Valkyrie," she told you. "Your charge will come to no harm here and neither will you. Put up your blades,"
"Mother, no!" Loki called, knowing that his supposed danger was the only thing breaking through your orders from Odin. She gave him the look she had perfected over the years to quiet his protests. You resheathed your blades. She was right. Loki was in no danger from Frigga. His mother adored him, always had and always would. Loki's arms were around you an instant later, Odin's orders be damned. He wasn't going to let you suffer alone.
"Heimdall told me your father has done something to interfere with you on Midgard. Tell me," Frigga ordered. Loki kept his arms around you while Thor stepped forward to hand Frigga the letter and explain what had transpired.
"Loki, I can't. Odin's orders-" you whimpered, shaking against the need to obey, trying not to start sobbing again in front of the queen.
"I know, dearest. I'm here. We won't let Odin's orders stand," he promised you and held you more firmly, giving Frigga a pleading look.
You saw Frigga's face harden, an expression of anger you had never seen before on her face. Not even when the three of you had destroyed a wing of the palace. Not when she feared for your lives during the bilgesnipe incident. Not during any of your thousands of transgressions over the years.
No.
Not quite.
There was exactly one time before that you had seen the Queen this angry, had felt her calm gentle power flare to true power, true anger. There was only one person who had ever drawn so much rage from the Queen: Lady Hilde, the woman who had poisoned Loki with the love potion.
"Come, children," she told you all and turned on her heel to storm from the Bifrost chamber. She didn't even look to see if the three of you were following. Loki and Thor each kept and arm around you and you followed the queen back to the palace. The trip was shorter than usual. All of the palace staff were jumping out of Frigga's way. They couldn't remember ever seeing the queen this angry. It was also rare to see a Valkyrie in as bad of shape as you were at the moment. You heard the gasps as the sight of you with your boys broke Frigga's magic on the people. It had been a simpler spell than the ones she used on Loki and Thor. Just the sight of you was enough to break it.
Frigga threw open the big double-doors of the throne room and stomped right up to the throne, her power and anger rolling off of her in waves. You, Thor, and Loki were all smart enough to follow her without question or arguing. The three of you stopped before the throne. Thor let you go so Loki could wrap his arms back around you, to be your strength right now when you needed it.
Odin glared at you, supported by Loki. "You have disobeyed me, Valkyrie," he snarled at you, making the terrible mistake of ignoring his wife. "You were exiled and yet you cavort with the princes. An exiled Valkyrie is no fit bride for my son. I ordered you away from him and yet here you are. You are unworthy of your position and I-"
He howled at Frigga when she slapped him hard across the face. "Amazing how you claim Loki as your son only when it is beneficial to you," she snarled at him while he glared at her. "He has always been mine and your actions in regard to his Valkyrie have hurt him twice now. Rescind your order and rescind the girl's exile this instant," she demanded. "Neither of them are founded." You, Thor, and Loki just stared. None of you could recall seeing Frigga this angry, nor this confrontational with Odin. None of you had seen her in this...mama-bear enraged.
"No. I shall speak to the children alone. The exiled girl will return to Midgard and I will find some other suitable punishment for Loki,"
"You. Will. Do. NO. Such. Thing." Frigga spat at him. She yanked Gungnir from him and threw the staff to the floor. "You will do what is best for your son for once. Your secrets be damned." Odin started to protest again, but even he wouldn't raise a hand to his wife. "Rescind your order. Now. Or shall we tell the Valkyrie that this is how you treat one of their number, one who did so well in her training and the trials that she was granted the honor of service to one of the princes?"
Odin glared, protested. "She was exiled for a reason!" he shouted.
"She was exiled to protect the secret that Loki was adopted. That secret is out and her exile should have ended on that very day. I allowed it then to protect my son. I allowed it after the secret was revealed because I saw that they would meet again and my son would finally be happy. You will not ruin that now. Undo her exile, rescind this ridiculous order, and never interfere with their happiness again, or I will go to the Valkyrie about your treatment of one of their own." Odin couldn't afford to lose the support of the Valkyrie. He knew it. He hesitated. If you were allowed back home all of the people would remember you. They would all know the injustice Odin had placed upon you and Loki. It would put him in a bad light. But he needed the Valkyrie more than he needed to protect himself from and old bad decision.
You saw the moment he came to that conclusion. He glared at Frigga again for strong-arming him. "Very well, my Queen. I will grant you this boon," he finally said with as much dignity as he could muster, especially with the bright red handprint on his cheek. Frigga must have decked him to leave a mark like that on the Allfather. "I rescind my orders upon you, Lady Y/N of the Valkyries," you sighed in relief as your wrist stopped burning, as the orders withdrew and left you free of the painful conflict. You sagged against Loki, exhausted from fighting the compulsions, but you managed to keep your feet under you, managed to appear that you were still alright. "Welcome back to Asgard. Your exile to Midgard is rescinded and you may properly resume your duties to your prince." You were supposed to thank him for his kindness. That was what was proper. But he was an ass, and it was about time that your unjust exile had ended.
He glared at you when you didn't reply as you should. You glared right back, then turned to Loki. "We can be together, love. We can be homeagain," you told him with such longing and fondness in your voice that he gave you a warm smiled in return.
"Yes, we can my darling," he replied and kissed your forehead. You saw him look at Odin, daring him to say something.
"Children, leave us, but do not return to Midgard yet. I wish to spend time with you all before you return, but I need to have words with your father," even after all this time, you always got lumped in with her children, and lumped in with 'your father'. You also heard the malice in her words in the direction of Odin. He was so getting the shit beaten out of him for how he treated you and Loki.
"Yes, Mother," the boys replied obediently.
"Yes, Queen Mother," you replied instead. You hadn't called her 'mother' since you were a child and hadn't known better. She'd never corrected you either.
She gave you all a warm, gentle smile, before she turned her attention back to Odin. Loki kept an arm wrapped around you and the three of you fled the throne room before Frigga blew up again. She was going to read Odin the riot act and beat the shit out of him for harming her son. You wished you could watch, but you'd rather get Loki safely out of the line of fire.
"Hey, Lohk, do you mind?" you asked, gesturing at your throat. He nodded and waved his hand. The necklace was gone an instant later.
"Thanks." He kissed your hair in reply. You could tell he was relieved that you were ok.
The three of you headed back to the family wing where your chambers were. It wasn't terribly late, and Thor would go wandering off to find his stupid warrior friends, but it was a good direction to start from.
Thor bid you well and left you when you had reached the section of hall where your suite and Loki's were. The doors were just across the hall from each other. You gestured to your room. "While I was gone...did...?" you couldn't get the question out. Was your home still your home? There was no reason to think it was after all of these years.
"I truly do not know, love. Mother closed your rooms off after you were exiled and refused to allow anyone else to move into them. She wouldn't say why obviously. Shall we find out together?" he asked gently. He'd stand beside you and be there for you if the rooms had been emptied.
You nodded and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." It wasn't a strong enough thanks to just thank him for everything, for saving you from Odin's orders, to being here for you now, but it was the best you could do at the moment. You summoned the key to your room. You never needed it, as your rooms were never locked, you and Loki were in an out of each others' suites constantly, but if Frigga had closed them off, you would need it now.
You inserted the key, turned the lock and opened the door, Loki's arm reassuring around your shoulders.
One look at your completely unchanged suite, your prince at your side, and you were home
After all these years.
You were home.