Our lives slipped into a different routine now that Isabel was in the group home. I visited her multiple times a week. Her progress could be a bit hit or miss. She'd been there almost a month now. Her progress was all in her attitude. If she wanted to do better she could, but if she wasn't in the mood then it was a lost cause.
The main success was that she hadn't run away again. She participated in therapy most of the time. Finally, after a month, the director said she was ready to 'graduate'. She would still come back for individual therapy and group therapy once a week, but she'd be back with us.
The day she was set to come home, I rode the subway down and found her packing the last of her things. I gave her a small smile and kissed her head. "I'm so glad you're coming back," I told her. "We've missed you so much."
I'd learned not to expect any similar declarations from her and she didn't offer any. She zipped up her suitcase and I pulled it off the bed and began to wheel it out. She gave a couple girls she'd grown close to a hug and a promise she'd be back next week. I hailed us a cab and soon we were home.
"Isabeeeeeell!!" Ellie and Luna both shouted as soon as we walked in the door. She was bombarded with hugs and Isabel smiled. I stepped around them and wheeled her suitcase to her bedroom. The next half hour consisted of Ellie showing her a couple new toys she'd gotten since she'd be gone.
Pippa and I had agreed that we needed to sit down with Isabel that night to go over some expectations now that she was home. We didn't want her going back to her old ways. After Ellie was down and Luna was doing homework in her room, we called a little meeting at the kitchen table.
Pippa brewed us all some hot chocolate with marshmallows as we sat down.
"Isabel, first of all we're so glad you're back," I began, looking at her seriously. "It wasn't the same without you. We missed you."
She looked away uncomfortably and didn't say anything.
"We're proud of all the progress you've made," I went on. "And we want you to keep improving. So, as you know, you're going to individual therapy once a week and group therapy once a week."
"Have you found those helpful?" Pippa asked.
She shrugged. "I guess."
I didn't think she'd ever really admit it, but they seemed to be doing her good. "We also wanted to go over some expectations now that you're back," I continued. "The group home was pretty strict and we're hoping to be a little more relaxed but you've gotta help us out."
She sipped her hot chocolate and waited for us to continue.
"First of all, you need to check in with Pip or me anytime you want to go out," I began. "On weekdays, we want you home by nine. Weekends by eleven."
She didn't protest, so we continued.
"Second, no contact with anyone from the Latin Kings," I told her. "Gangs are dangerous and we don't want you getting in over your head. Have you had any contact with them recently?"
She didn't have her cell phone there so contact was limited. Isabel shrugged her shoulders, which I figured meant yes.
"Before you get your phone back, we're going through your contacts together," I told her. "Anyone in the Latin Kings needs to be blocked."
She rolled her eyes at that. I realized I couldn't really tell for sure who was in a gang and who wasn't. I figured if it wasn't someone from school or family she didn't need their number in her phone.
"Last, Pippa and I reserve the right to check your room, your phone, your social media any time," I finished, knowing she wouldn't like this at all. "We want to trust you, but right now keeping you on the right track is the most important. We can't have you slipping back like before."
"Checking my room?" she asked, exasperated. "What are you expecting to find?"
"Well, you were doing drugs before and smoking," Pippa reminded her. "You should be clean now, so let's not get back into bad habits."
"That's bullshit," she said, crossing her arms, leaning back in her chair.
"Regardless, it's happening," I told her. "If you can show you're trustworthy for a while, we'll ease off."
"Are we done?" she asked us.
I looked at Pippa and she shrugged. "Back to school tomorrow," I reminded her. "I'll wake you up at 7:30."
"Great," she grumbled as she stood up and walked to her room. The door shut a bit loudly and we both sighed.
"That went well," Pippa commented.
"Well, I didn't expect her to be happy about any of it," I commented, standing up and grabbing our mugs. I rinsed them out in the kitchen sink as Pippa picked up the living room a bit. We relaxed on the couch together and were enjoying a show when Isabel walked back out with her jacket on.
"I'm going to Starbucks," she informed us. I checked my watch.
"Okay," I told her, though I wished she'd stay. "Be back by nine."
"I know," she groaned as she went to the door. It closed and we were left alone again.
"Such a happy child," Pippa commented. I put my arm around her and pulled her closer and she sighed contentedly.
"Another one of my coworkers is pregnant," she reported.
Here we go again. I definitely wasn't opposed to having another kid. I adored Ellie and would love to have another kid or two. It just still didn't seem like the right time. I wanted to get Isabel firmly on the right track.
"Pip, I think we still need to wait a while," I told her.
"I don't," she told me. "I want Ellie to grow up with siblings close to her age. She'll be four if we get pregnant now."
"She'll be a great big sister no matter what her age," I said. "I just don't want to rush into this. Isabel's not quite there yet. We need things to be stable."
"Things will never be stable," she told me, sitting up. Pippa was on her feet in a second, heading to the kitchen for some wine. I leaned forward on my elbows a bit, sighing. I didn't want to argue about this now. We'd just gotten Isabel back. We needed to focus on her.
I stood up and walked slowly to the kitchen, where she was already sipping some wine. "Pip, let's not argue. Please?"
"Well if I don't bring it up, you're gonna push it back forever," she told me. "I really really want another baby."
"I do too, but it's not the right time," I argued, watching her pace.
"I'm really tired of that answer, Lin-Manuel," she full-named me. I sighed again, not knowing what else to tell her. She tipped back the rest of her wine and then went to our bedroom, closing the door. I was left in the kitchen by myself. I poured a glass of wine myself and thought about Pippa's wish.
If we had a new baby and Isabel went majorly off the deep end again, all our time would be spent trying to handle her and the new kid. What would happen to Ellie and Luna? They'd be the neglected middle children you hear about. The baby would spend its formative years in a home filled with argument and yelling. That wouldn't be good for anybody.
There was a saying that if mom isn't happy, nobody's happy. This seemed to apply perfectly to this situation. Pippa wanted another baby desperately and until it happened, she wouldn't be happy with me. I felt inadequate.
I gave her a while to be by herself, then wandered back to our bedroom. She was curled up on her side, facing away from me when I climbed onto the bed. I spooned up behind her, pressing a kiss to her neck. I rested my hand on her hip, my lips close to her ear.
"How about we give it six months?" I suggested. "If Isabel's doing okay, we'll go for it. But if she's not, can we hold off?"
Pippa turned onto her back and my hand went to her belly. We looked into each other's eyes.
"Okay," she whispered gently, searching my eyes. I smirked a little and leaned down to kiss her gently. Sometimes I still wondered how I'd gotten so lucky. Pippa was the best wife a guy could ask for.
____
The next morning it was Isabel's first day back at her regular school. Her grades were being transferred over from the school the group home ran. I went to her room about 7:30 and found her still fast asleep, sprawled out on her tummy. I opened the blinds and the sun came streaming in.
"Morning," I announced, walking to her bed. I sat down and rubbed at her back. "How you feeling?"
She crumpled up her face a little, looking unhappy. "Tired."
I chuckled a little. "Yea, welcome to the club," I told her. "Ellie was up twice last night. Time to get going for school. I'll come check on you in five."
I left her to give her some privacy and wandered to Luna's room. She was awake but still laying in bed, contemplating getting up.
"Morning, sweetheart," I greeted her. I strode over to her bed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Did you have a good sleep?"
"Uh-huh," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Is Isabel gonna take me to school today?"
"Is that okay with you?" I asked.
"Yep," she stretched her arms over her head in a full-body stretch.
"Great," I said. "Toast or Rice Krispies?"
"Rice Krispies, please," she answered politely.
Pippa had a cranky Ellie in her arms and she as fishing for the baby thermometer. She found it and placed it in Ellie's ear as she cried. It beeped and she pulled it out.
"No wonder you're so cranky," she cooed at our daughter. "You have a temperature. I'll call the doctor and see if we can get an appointment."
I kissed Pippa then kissed Ellie's head. "Poor girl," I said. I heard the older girls getting up thankfully, but then I heard vomiting from the bathroom.
"I think we might have a sick house," I commented to my wife and she winced. Isabel walked out a few minutes later, her hair up in a messy bun. She sat down to her toast.
"Was that you throwing up?" I asked her, now with Ellie in my lap. She nodded.
"Maybe we should check your temperature too," I commented.
"I'm fine," she said. "I've been throwing up a lot lately."
"That's not good," I told her. "Did they change your medication again?"
"Yeah," she said, breaking off a chunk of bread.
"Do you feel up to school?" I asked her.
"I guess," she said. I think she'd missed her friends at school and would be glad to see them again. I'm sure her teachers missed her greatly.
Fifteen minutes later, Luna and Isabel were out the door and we were left with a sick toddler. Pippa made her an appointment and we spent much of the morning cuddling on the couch in pajamas. Ellie was especially clingy when she was sick, which I didn't mind. I loved cuddling with her.
____
The next few mornings, Isabel continued to throw up in the mornings, but insisted she was fine. I called her doctor to inquire about her medication. She reported that nausea and vomiting wouldn't be a side effect of her new medication.
One morning, Pippa was studying Isabel after she'd come to the table after vomiting. After she'd left and we'd set up Ellie with a TV show, she stopped me in the kitchen.
"What if she's pregnant?"
"Isabel?" I asked, and she nodded.
"How would she be pregnant?" I asked stupidly. Pippa cocked her head to the side.
"She's been known to associate with the Latin Kings, Lin. They're not exactly G Rated. Isabel's a beautiful girl."
"She cannot be pregnant," I decided, clearing away some of the breakfast dishes.
"It's possible, Lin," she insisted, helping me out.
"I mean, she's only fifteen," I said, but felt myself panic a bit.
"She's been menstruating since she was twelve," Pippa reminded me. "I'm gonna go buy a pregnancy test at the store."
"Pip..." I protested, but didn't know what to say.
"What?" she asked.
"She's probably just got a bug," I said.
"For over a week?" she asked. I knew it sounded stupid.
"Fine," I said, tossing the cleaning rag at the sink. "It'll be good to rule it out."
When Isabel came home from school, Pippa went to her room to talk. I'm glad Pippa was there for that reason. It's not something I wanted to discuss with my niece, that's for sure. A few minutes later, I heard the door open and the bathroom being used. Pippa knocked on the bathroom door a few minutes later so they were both inside together.
They were in there for an awfully long time. I kept myself busy with Ellie, who was pretty much over her sickness now. She still had one more dose of oral medication to take, which was a battle of wills every time. We had to bribe her with chocolate.
A few more minutes passed and then I saw Isabel walk to her room and close the door. Pippa walked out to the kitchen and sighed.
"Positive," she told me, and I gaped.
"What?!" I was exasperated.
"She's pregnant," Pippa confirmed. I just stared at my wife in shock for several long moments, then ran my hands over my hair.
"Shit," I said, pacing.
"Yep," she agreed as she watched me.
"Does she know who the father is?" I asked.
"Yes," she told me. "His name is Ian. Latin King."
I scrubbed my hands over my face. "Great," I groaned. "Just what we needed."
"Lin, we need to be supportive," Pippa told me as I continued to pace.
"I'm not happy about this," I said. "I don't know how supportive I can be right now."
"Well, it's done," she reminded me. "We need to help her figure out what to do. How to tell Ian."
"I'm gonna find that punk and throttle him," I decided in my protective rage. "She's only fifteen! How old is he?"
"Twenty-one," Pippa told me.
"That's statutory rape," I pointed out.
"Lin, I don't think that's the best place to go right now," she said. "If she decides to keep this baby, we want him to be in the baby's life."
"Do we?" I asked. "We want a known gang member raising our grandchild?"
"We don't know him," Pippa pointed out.
"I don't want to know him," I said, and we heard a door open down the hallway. Isabel emerged with her jacket and shoes on.
"I need to go find Ian," she announced.
"Isabel, wait," Pippa said, and Isabel stopped.
"What?" she asked shortly.
"We need to talk first," she said.
"About what?" she asked. "I'm knocked up. I'm pretty sure I need to tell the father."
"Sweetheart, sit down," Pippa said, pulling out the kitchen chair. Isabel sighed and reluctantly sat. We both joined her at the table. I didn't trust myself to talk because I was so upset right now.
"You're only fifteen years old," Pippa reminded her. "You don't have to do this alone. You said Ian is twenty-one?"
"Yes," she said. "And he has a job. He works at Foot Locker."
"Wonderful," I said, scrubbing a hand over my face. "Great salary."
"I knew you were gonna do this," Isabel spat at me.
"What? Be pissed that you're pregnant? You're damn right I am," I told her.
"It just happened!" she raised her voice. "It's not like I asked to be pregnant!"
"Did you use protection?" I asked her.
"Of course! I'm not an idiot!"
"You shouldn't have been having sex if you weren't ready to deal with the consequences," I lectured, crossing my arms. "Now we're in this mess."
"We?" she narrowed her eyes at me. "I'm the one with a baby growing inside me. How is it your problem?"
"You live here!" I reminded her. "If you have this baby it will very much be our problem. You need to finish high school and while you're doing that we'll probably be taking care of this baby."
"Well I'm sorry if me having an unplanned baby is such an inconvenience for you," she spat, standing up to leave.
"Sit back down," I ordered her, and I felt Pippa's hand on my forehead.
"Lin..." she warned quietly.
"Screw you!" she shouted on her way to the door. I stood up roughly, my chair scraping against the floor.
"Isabel!" I shouted, but she left and the door slammed.
I torqued my jaw, shaking my head with disappointment.
"She must've gotten pregnant when she was at the group home," I said. "When she snuck out."
"Lin, there's no point stewing over that now," she told me wisely. "It happened and now we need to figure it out with her, and...Ian."
"Christ," I muttered as I went straight to the fridge for a beer. I cracked it open on the counter and immediately chugged it. Pippa had her arms crossed, glaring at me. Why was she looking at me like that?
"What?" I asked shortly.
"I think you may have overreacted a little," she informed me. I scoffed.
"Well excuse me if I'm upset my teenage niece is pregnant," I told her. "This is a nightmare."
"This is a baby," she corrected me, looking at me like I was an alien. "Your niece needs you to be supportive. If you could stop worrying about yourself for one moment and worry about how she might be feeling, that would be great."
She gave me a long stare, then disappeared to our bedroom.