Wednesday 11th September
Yeah. It's been a week since I wrote in this diary. Just haven't felt up to it recently. Also, I was going to quit, but… I missed having someone to talk to. Ya know? Although, it feels really strange to be writing on a piece of paper. It can't understand me so why bother? And yes, I know that isn't a good attitude for life but I'm tired all the time. I try, I really do try to be all happy and upbeat but what can you honestly do?
Well if I'm being honest I can safely say I'm addicted to Mars bars but that's beyond the point.
You want to know the real reason I've finally picked up my pen again? Someone spoke to me at school today.
Allow a moment of silence for that to sink in.
Exactly.
So what do you do if after years of being the Devil someone comes along and speaks to you?
What you do best. Ignore them. The reason? Because if you say one single word you'll burst out into tears. Like, great, gulping tears. Complete with snot and red eyes. And then the person who was about to continue speaking to you would look at you disgusted thinking something along the lines of; what the fuck even is this, why is this freak even in school? And then they would walk off and go and laugh about you with their friends.
Therefore cementing your status as the social reject/Devil. Who eats under the same tree at lunch every single day, even when it's pissing it down and the second you go outside you're swimming. Yep. That’s me.
Anyway, this girl just stood there watching me before sitting down. Under my tree. My refuge from the world. MY TREE. Having that random girl sit there was like committing treason. I felt so guilty, it was ridiculous really. At the end of lunch the girl stood up and walked off after saying thanks. Thanks? Thanks for letting her sit under my tree. My tree is... sacred.
Was sacred.
I need a life.
This isn't it. I'm gonna stop talking to a book and go somewhere again. Try and apply for thousands of jobs. Who knows? Maybe if I threaten them with Hell they'll give me a job finally.
Meh.
Can but try.
Still.
I sound so depressed right now.
Meh.
I’m gonna stop writing now. I’m sure that even a diary doesn’t want to hear my depressing feelings.
I could make something up? Write a little story or something. Yeah. It would be a bit shitty. But anyway… here goes nothing!
Story of an Angel… named Gabriella!
Oh. My. God. As if it wasn’t enough that my oh so nice papa named me Gabriella… I mean, did high school musical really have to come along and ruin my life? It didn’t help that there was this guy who goes to my school. Who was called… you guessed it. Troy.
Guess what papa didn’t tell me? I’m actually an angel. Angel Gabriella. So naturally, Angel Gabriel now wants to kill me. Who wouldn’t? I’m kinda a copycat. Yay for me!
So basically, I’m going to go and… um… I know! Be the opposite of angelic which is… human? Nah. That sounds boring. I’m going to make a deal with the devil.
Back to Satan’s diary.
How was that? Ha. Makes me feel better, writing about someone else with a shitty life. It really does! So, diary dear, expect a new instalment every day. Who knows, maybe she’ll actually turn into a proper story!
Goodbye, I’m going to think up some more ideas and then sleep. Because, you know, I actually have school tomorrow. Ta Tah, me friend.
(is it pathetic that I’m calling a diary my friend? And that it’s my only real friend? And that I’m now asking it if I’m pathetic? Well, you know what? I am what I am. And what I am? I am an Iams cat.)
(Well. I wish I was an Iams cat. That would be awesome. It really would.)
Thursday 12th September
Yo. Ready for the second instalment? I am. Because I am an Iams cat. Because that sounds awesome. Because… well, just because I guess. Lets go!
Story of an angel… named Gabriella!
My life is over. Truly, honestly over. I mean, what would you do if Troy came up and punched you in the face? I swear, if anything happens that makes me able to get revenge… oh revenge will be got. You can believe that if you don’t believe anything else.
Because I am such a cliché character, I am now going to join the other angels in the heavens, and then when I come back I will be beautiful, and strong… and able to kick Troy’s arse.
Toodle doo, see ya soon!
Yo, Satan’s back
Too much? I just feel like making it all cliché and disgusting. Because you know what? It’s the only damn thing that I can write about, all the inspiration I can get. Everything that I write is a fucking cliché.
You see? Even now that I’m bashing clichés on the head it’s a cliché! I read way too many books that are anti-cliché… Stop summersberry! (from worst book on wattpad, it’s awesome!)
Hehehe.
Anyway, now that I’ve conformed to clichés in my story, let me tell you about my day. My oh-so wonderful day.
The girl was back. Stealing my shade. My beautiful, amazing, wonderfully mine shade. She didn’t speak to me again today, which I’m surprisingly upset about. The one person who spoke to me… ignoring me? Anyway. I don’t care about her. But because my life sucks, I will write about her anyway. She’s really small, almost looking like she could slip through the gap in the elephants enclosure. Which is a small gap, let me tell you. She has faded brown hair which covers her face.
She’s the type of girl you would expect to blend in, but she doesn’t. Because she’s too small, too thin, too faded. It’s worrying me, which is strange because nothing worries me. Nothing. But anyway, as I was saying, I don’t care about her at all. It worries me because… she reminds me of me. And there shouldn’t ever be more than one me. Ever. I have no siblings… I can’t, my dad’s dead and mum is infertile due to that car crash. The car crash that ensured mum would become depressed and that she would get drunk, therefore ruining my life. By naming me SATAN. I mean, Stan would have been better. But no, Satan it is.
Anyway. This is getting to close to me actually recording my feelings, so I’m gonna think up my next instalment of the angel story. Yup. The angel story. New name, how’d you like it?
I hate it.
But it’s easier to type. Plus, I’m a lazy slob. Didn’t you notice?
Friday 13th September
Oh no! Everyone hide, we’re all gonna die! It’s Friday 13! Argh!
It’s the devils day, when she comes out to play. Or at least, that’s what everyone at school said.
“Stay away from her, or she’ll curse you all to hell!”
“Ignore her, she’ll ruin your life!”
“Pay that bitch no attention. She’s Satan reincarnate. She even… reads books.”
Yep. Shocking really, the excuses that people will find to make fun of me. I’m thinking of running away. But where could I go? Spain? Nah… didn’t really leave under the best of circumstances. I might go to Greece, but seeing as I know absolutely no one there, I don’t think that that would really work out. So yeah.
Is there anywhere that I could go?
No.
Anyway, the girl sat there again today. She sort of… sniffed. Like, crying sniff. She didn’t have any food with her. Come to think of it, she didn’t have any the last two days either. I could have given her some of mine, seeing as I always take way too much food to school, but what if she’d ran off? She could have been fake-crying to attempt to get my attention, then make fun of me. She’s probably even one of those stupid girls who starve themselves to try and be thin. Honestly? Be happy with who you are. If you aren’t?
Well, that’s what got me into this mess in the first place.
Time for the next instalment? I think so.
The Angel Gabriella (hey, diary I got another title. I like it!)
So, this is what heaven looks like. All… pink and fluffy? I think I’m in the wrong place, isn’t heaven supposed to be your favourite thing in the world, something that you love?
Although… candyfloss! Yes!
Anyway, I’m here to learn to kick Troy’s butt into the next century. Or at least, I’ll go back with that as my intention, and we’ll end up falling in love and getting married. Because as we all know, that will happen. I’ll fall for the jerkface who made my life a misery.
Hey, at least he’s not the producer of High School Musical! Could be worse!
Back to my current location… I’m standing outside the golden gates, the gates to angel school. Yep. You heard me right. Angel school. Golden gates. Another cliché? I’m so proud of myself. Unfortunately, there was no white light or flashbacks. Although that may be because I’m still alive. Anyway… here I am, a nice little nerd, the good girl if you like. I’m going to walk through those golden gates and immediately see the hottest boy in the school.
Who will then for no apparent reason decide to make my life a misery. Unless he really has something against good little nerds like me, who obviously have to wear knee-length skirts and baggy tops, or baggy jeans and band t-shirts. Because we never where anything else. Unless it’s a button-up shirt and smart black trousers.
Did I forget to mention that this impossibly hot boy will also have to be the schools bad boy? Preferably a bad boy with a gentle heart, who actually has to hate fighting because there can’t actually be bad boys who enjoy fighting. Oh and he absolutely has to have no friends, with everyone scared of him.
So anyway, here I go!
…
So here’s what happened. I walked through the door, and because I’m the new girl who happens to be a nerd I immediately get tripped up so that I fall onto this random hot guys lap, I blush bright red and that is when I realise that my top somehow got ripped in the process, showing everyone the incredibly skimpy outfit that is underneath. Did I forget to mention about how I needed to pay to go to Angel school? Yeah. Don’t look so surprised, I’m at a low point in my life here, obviously stripping is the only way to go. I couldn’t bear to work in McDonalds. Also, because I’m the nerdy girl I have to have boobs that are D cup. Yeah. All nerdy girls do, otherwise they would actually have friends. Honestly, I thought that you would have realised that.
So, instead of a war with this hot guy, I decided to just take the rest of my nerdy clothes off. I mean, why not fit in with everyone and where a tight mini skirt and an even tighter top that shows off my flat nerdy belly and my incredibly nerdy giant boobs. Because, all nerds have to have an amazing figure underneath their baggy clothes, even though they don’t go to the gym.
Then, with all eyes on me I turn into a player and kiss the hot guy. Just for fun. And bam, my transformation is complete. Did I mention that when I fell over I turned into a martial arts expert with black belts in absolutely everything? Didn’t think so.
Now, I have to go back down to earth and kill Troy. After making him fall in love with me, naturally. And because I am now a hot badass I have to swear, so laters, bitches!
And me again
So, I’m quite impressed with myself. Cliché enough there? I think it is indeed. Stop summersberry! Because, obviously, it needs to be done.
And because I’m now in a good mood and my life is on the up because I have written a shitty story, I’m going to give faded girl some food on Monday.
Bye diary!
p.s. my mars bars are sacred. And mine. Did I mention that? Mine. No one else can ever eat them. Ever, I tell you! EVER!!!