It seems to always be the same in the idustry.
Blank stares from faithless people.
People who don't have faith in me.
In the fact that I could be who I want to be by being me.
I know its dangerous, but I can't help it.
I can't help myself from disappearing in the dark.
But how could I not anyways?
It feels safer than home as it is.
No matter how much it feels like I'm being watched.
And not the type of watched like my body guards watch me.
More like the type of watched like it scares you but you know you're safe.
Even when I was younger I felt that sensation.
Of being safe by a scary stare.
I don't care though.
I'm going to walk around until Matthew leaves for the day.
I can't deal with him right now.
Not ever again.
Maybe I'll do this for now on.
I've still got ten hours to go before he leaves at seven in the morning.
That's plenty of time to be able to distract myself from the pain in my heart.