Two updates within about a day, yes! Really feeling it the last few nights, so I know I should get them out there while I'm feeling it. lol. This may (or may not) be the last part of this short story. I have so many ideas for stories, but I'm trying to pace myself so I don't just throw out just any writing and it be half-assed. Btw, I based this story off of the interview Florian did with his friend Leon. Florian said he really did struggle mentally throughout filming due to the deep emotional investment and pain from past experiences that he had to channel. I appreciate how real and he got in the interview and it was inspiring enough for me to come up with this story. So hope you all enjoy!
My chest felt tight and I could hear my rising pulse in my ears as I put the car in park in Florian's driveway. My palms were already becoming sweaty underneath the leather of the steering wheel. It only took a few moments before Florian quickly exited the house and hastily approached the car. His white hoodie was still pulled up over his head and his hands were buried deep in the pockets of the black Nike track pants that clung lowly on his muscular hips.
I watched him the whole time he climbed into the seat of my car and kept eyes on him as the interior light slowly went out after he had closed the door. He gradually turned his head to look at me and we made eye contact. I couldn't help how those deep eyes lured me in.
"So.. where are we going?"
I spoke softly as to not surprise him from breaking the silence. He looked down at his lap and spoke at the same volume I had.
"I don't know.. I just know I can't be in that house right now.. alone."
My soul hurt at hearing this admission. I had known already that he was suffering from the loneliness, but knowing it and hearing it from him were two different things. I knew where we were going already, but asking him for an idea was just me being polite. I put the car in reverse and drove back the way I had just came from. Florian was quiet and watched out the front window as we drove away from the neighborhood he had been occupying.
The street and city lights lit the interior of the car enough to for me to keep at eye on his body posture. I was pretty confident in my ability to read Florian's body language, so it came as a relief to see that he at ease with the car ride to a mystery location. I had trained my eyes back on the road when I saw Florian's large hand casually reach over to mine that had been laying lazily on my thigh. He gently intertwined our fingers together as he pulled my hand over the center console and laid our hands on his thigh. I glanced over to see him studying our connected hands as he spoke up.
"I am sorry."
I kept my eyes on the road as I took in his words thoroughly before replying.
"Why are yo-"
"I know that my mood has affected you. I see in your eyes. It's not anything you did, it is just me."
I felt like he'd been hearing all my thoughts from the past few days because he was absolutely on point with what I hoped to hear. I felt relief wash over me at the realization that it truly wasn't anything I did that was making Florian act the way he was. I squeezed his hand in understanding, and watched as his face softened and the edges of his mouth crept up ever so slightly into a smile.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed holding hands the remainder of the car ride. Florian's thumb had found a comfortable rhythm in rubbing circles over the back of my hand. It was both relaxing and reassuring. But it was also confusing. I assumed he was doing this just as a comfort. We had never discussed feelings toward each other, nor did I want to and it become awkward or weird if the same feelings weren't shared by both parties. I would also be lying if I said I hadn't grown a crush on the German/Romanian giant that I'd been working with for the past month and a half. It was hard not to feel something more for such a unique and special man.
He was both hard and soft. His exterior was patronizing and intimidating, but underneath was a sweetest teddy bear that loved his family and friends. He loved pizza more than he loved the gym- which says a tremendous amount considering he basically lives there. He thrives off pressure, and shows up to any challenge. He loves watching European football, Munich in particular for obvious reasons, and watches it religiously every Sunday. He's a big mamma's boy, and an even bigger daddy's boy. The bond he has with his family warmed my heart when he'd tell me about them.
And here he was now, trusting me to be his comfort at a time when he seems so vulnerable and lonely. And all I wanted was for him to be the happy Florian I'd known him to be.
As I pulled into the drive of the aged, red bricked industrial building, I could see Florian from the corner of my eye as he scrunched his face in a confusion. I couldn't help but chuckle at his perplexed expression as I clicked to door opener and pulled into the building and drove through the garage area and up the ramp to the second floor. I pulled into one of the few spaces that made up the second floor garage. After the engine died, Florian turned to me saying,
"Where are we?"
"My home." I smiled as I reassured the curious man before jumping out of the car and grabbing my back out of the backseat. Florian quietly followed me as I pulled a set of keys out of my purse and fiddled with them as we approached the white door with a '12' across the top.
"You're staying here for as long as you need or want to. I don't want you to be alone in that house if it's not going to benefit you. And don't try arguing because I'm not taking no for an answer Munteanu."
I couldn't help but smile widely as I pushed the door open and glanced over my shoulder at the green eyed man that was now smirking down at me.
I flipped the light on to illuminate the open living area.
I moved aside and let Florian wander into the area ahead of me. He walked slowly as he took in the apartment. The brick wall to the left trailed down the expanse of the room only to end at the hallway that veered left which led to my bedroom. The high concrete ceilings were volted with light fixtures hanging around the area to properly light the room. The industrial feel of the apartment and furniture instantly relaxed me. It felt comfortable and welcoming which was everything I needed after a long day on set. I loved coming home, and bringing Florian into my home made me love being here all the more. I enjoyed his presence, even when his mood was down. Something about being with him was comfortable.
Florian finally turned to watch me as I moved across the room and around the small island to pour myself a glass of water.
"Do you want something to drink?"
"Please."
I jumped slightly at hearing his voice so close. He was so quiet I hadn't heard him creep up behind me. I turned to hand him a glass and watched as he leaned against the island. he kept eye contact with me as he drank from the glass. I shifted my weight under his watch and then moved back into the living area before pulled my gray hoodie up and over my head and placing it on the coat rack inside the small closet near the front door. I adjusted the cotton fabric of my white shirt that had come up slightly before I then kicked off my black trainers and placed them in the closet as well. I turned to Florian and put out my arm as if to welcome him to do the same. He was quick to comply to my offer and followed my actions. While he did that I made a spot for myself on the couch and waited for him to join me.
Florian plopped down on the couch cushion next to mine and leaned back sighing. I turned on the couch and sat criss cross to face the large man that was stationed next to me.
"Do you want to talk now?"
Florian's face visibly fell at the mention of the reason for him being here. He closed his eyes as he talked lowly.
"I struggle. I miss my family. My mother and tata. It's not because of the distance, I've been away from everyone before. I spent months living in Australia a few years ago, but it's different this time. Mentally, I am in a much harder place than any other time. I know I'm doing the right thing being here. I wouldn't regret my decision to be here, this role is what I've been waiting for. But it has been.. difficult, to say the least. I don't want to talk to them or call them either, because I am afraid they will see me struggling.. weak. I can't let them see me weak. All I want to do is make them proud, and I am afraid they will think I can't handle this if they see any ounce of pain. I know it sound stupid bu-"
"No Florian. It isn't stupid at all. You don't want to disappoint the people that mean the most to you. A lot of people fear disappointment and failure. I felt that for months when I first moved out here from Baltimore. There's this huge pressure to do well when you leave familiar territory to pursue something completely new. There's risk with anything new, but that's what makes it the most satisfying when achieved. Florian don't you see you've already achieved?"
I grasp his his elbow softly and looked deeply into his eyes to show him how serious I was before continuing.
"You achieved the moment you stepped foot on set that first day. You absolutely killed it on set considering you were being made to work out for 5 hours in front of cameras. I remember Steven came up to me between one of the takes and was so excited for how you were doing. He's had so much faith in you from day one. And I know if your parents were there they would've been just as excited and proud as Steven was. You don't need to be afraid to let them see you struggle or down, it's almost to be expected from exhausting hours on set and in character. This is all a new experience, but just imagine how worthwhile it will be when it's all done and you have so much to show for it. Your friends and family just want to support you. Please don't shut them out when you need them most."
"I need you too."
I was taken back by Florian's words as I waited to see his face show some sort of regret for the word vomit. But his eyes never for a second showed any remorse for admitting he needed me. My stomach jumped at the thought of him needing me. I understood I was one of the few people he physically had around to talk to and bond with, but I didn't know if he meant it the same way I only hoped he did.
"I'm always here for you. You know that."
We both stayed silent for a while. I watched as Florian's broad face was slowly taken over by a growing smile. His eyes crinkled ever so slightly at the corners as the green in his eyes seemed to brighten. This was the Florian I loved seeing. I couldn't help but match his expression. I knew he would have hard times ahead, but if he could be content and feel better in this moment, then it was all worth it to me. I felt my body leaning in closer the the large man, just as I could see his body was also leaning. I was drowning in his beautifully deep eyes and wide frame. I wanted to be swallowed in his grasp. Feel the warmth of his skin pressed carrying against me. To have my ear laying against his firm chest and listen to the steady beat of his heart.
'Get ahold of yourself woman! You have a professional relationship with this guy remember? This is so unprofessional, what would Steven say if he knew you were letting this happen?!'
I quickly jerked back coming to my senses and raised from the couch as I fiddled awkwardly with my hair and pushed the (y/h/c) locks back behind my ear. My gaze only halfway met Florian's as I tried to avoid his eyes for too long.
"Uhm. So I don't have a spare bedroom, but you are welcome to the couch. I mean or I could take the couch if you want to sleep in my bed. I don't know if that's weird, but I don't mind.. uhm.."
'Why am I so damn awkward?! I just ruined a good moment to stutter about sleeping arrangements!'
Florian rose from the couch and took a step closer to me chuckling.
"I don't mind the couch. Luckily you have a big enough couch, I may actually fit comfortably on it."
Florian then closed the space and wrapped his enormous arms around my body, leaning his head down to rest on top of mine. "Thank you." I listened as he spoke, feeling his throat vibrate from talking against the side of my head. Instantly I melted into his arms and leaned into his embrace. His scent was absolutely tantalizing. It was that mint and earthy smell I'd became obsessed with. The smell was only native to him, and the scent instantly relaxed me.
Eventually we broke from the hug and I told him where the bathroom was as well as telling him he was welcome to anything in the kitchen before I receded into the hallway and into my bedroom.
My bare feet padded against the cold wood floor as I drew closer to the living area. I could hear the deep tone of Florian's smooth voice as he spoke in German on the phone. As I joined him in the living room, I noticed he was leaning back against the armrest of the couch and facing away from me. I slowed my pace to take in his form. He was shirtless and wore a light gray pair of sweatpants. The sweatpants were positioned low on his hips, freely showing off the beautifully sculpted abdominal muscles he had. I couldn't help the mouthwatering thoughts this man gave me. He was a tantalizing sight for the eyes. He was every bit perfect in my eyes. As I continued on, I could now make out that he was video chatting who looked to be Leon from what I rememberer Florian showing me pictures of his friend. His screen faced me easily and I knew I would probably get caught in the background of the screen as I passed by to get to the kitchen.
I could hear Leon's tone heighten and his volume increased as he excitedly spoke to Florian. I didn't understand much German, so there was no use even trying to figure out the conversation. But soon enough Florian was looking at me over the back of the couch with a crazy grin on his face. I smiled back as he then looked down at the scene again and spoke to his friend noisily. They both were laughing and seemed to be enjoying the conversation. I was glad he'd been taking more initiative to talk with family and friends the last few days while he'd been staying with me. He seemed to be more relaxed while he was here, which I was glad for. If it was up to me, I'd never let him go back to that house again. Of course it wasn't up to me though, Florian was the one that would be making those sort of decisions. But I didn't hesitate to let him know that he was welcome to stay for as long as he wanted.
I had been facing away from the living area while drinking a glass of water and putting away some dished that were left on the counter. By time I turned back around to go back to my room I'd noticed Florian was holding up his phone towards me. As soon as he realized I was watching he pulled his phone back down and shrunk down into the couch away from my sight.
"Flo what are you doing?"
The large man's shaved head rose from the front of the couch and peered at me as he spoke.
"Leon wanted to see you."
I couldn't help but laugh at how childlike he was sometimes. He was really just an oversized child in the cutest way possible.
"Do you want me to come say hi to him? In all my messy hair, bare faced, oversize t-shirt glory?"
It was now Florian's turn to laugh as he took my appearance in. I had just washed my face and changed into comfy clothes for bed. What I was waiting for was him to realize I was wearing one of his shirt's he'd left lying around on the bathroom counter the other morning.
"You look beautiful, I don't see why you speak like you look anything less than perfect.. especially in my shirt."
The smirk that he sported only caused me to melt, and his words were causing my cheeks to feel on fire. He's such a flatterer. I strode over around the front of the couch as Florian lifted up to sit normally on the couch cushion. Before I could take a seat, Florian's hand gripped my hip and pulled me down to sit on his lap. I could feel his bare chest pressed against my back and the rise and fall of his breath on my back and neck. My head only came up around the height of his neck due to how significantly taller he was than myself. He pressed the side of his face down to the side of my head as he talked to Leon who was still present on the phone screen. Florian raised the phone screen to show the both of us together before Leon.
"Hallo Leon. Wie geht es dir?" I tried my best at the small amount of German I'd learned.
Leon's face was bright and pleasant as he greeted back and waved happily. 'I like him already.' I thought to myself. Florian had told me about how he's been such a positive, loyal, and encouraging friend to him since they first met years ago. I could feel all that positive energy from him even through the phone screen. He was just one of those people that you knew was a genuinely good soul. I was proud that Florian had someone like that.
After a very short greeting, I let Florian take over the conversation with his friend. I had no clue what they were talking about, but whatever it may have been, I was enjoying it. After a while I let myself lean back comfortably into Florian's body and laid my head back to rest against him with my legs across the couch. There was something so perfect about the moment. I secretly hoped he'd talk with Leon on the phone all night just so I could stay here like this. The rumble of Florian's chest as he spoke was both appealing and comforting and made me never want to move away from his body.
I'm not sure at what point I started drifting off, but Florian had gently began to shake me awake. I groaned and turned to push my face deeper into his bare collarbone. His chest rumbled as he laughed at my stubbornness and manually moved my arms to wrap around his neck to which I complied lazily.
"Fine, we do it this way then."
I suddenly felt his arms lock under my knees and behind my back as he lifted me easily into the air.
"Floooo" I groaned lowly to the man carrying me through the dimly lit apartment.
"Don't do that.." Florian spoke darkly in almost a growl. My mind froze at his tone and words.
'What? Did he mean that in a sexual way? Did I really say that in a way that could've been taken as sexual? Oh my God I need to go to bed I'm hallucinating this whole thing..'
I didn't make any further noises or murmurs the rest of the trek to my bedroom. I could feel us turn at the end of the hall into my room and Florian slowed as he arrived at my bed. I couldn't decide why I did it, but as he laid me down gently in the white sheets of my bed and pulled up the sheets over my body I couldn't stop myself from grabbing a hold of his wrist. His movement ceased as he looked into my face confused.
'This is either going to go really well or I'm about to feel like a complete idiot.' I thought before speaking.
"Stay." I then tugged his wrist towards me and the bed. I watched Florian's face closely as he took in my words. Shock was the first expression I read, but soon enough it contorted into one of interest.
"You sure?"
"Yes.. I mean only if you want to."
The soft eyed giant smiled down at me before launching himself over me and landed in the bed. He swiftly swept himself under the covers and moved closer to me while saying,
"It's about damn time. No offense to your couch, but I missed sleeping in a real bed.. especially one that I knew you'd be in."
I grew chills as he spoke the last part of his sentence more precisely and direct. We'd still not had a talk about where we stood or feelings, but we'd both me kidding ourselves if we ignored the amount of attraction we both openly presented to each other. I knew he was obviously showing interest just as I had been showing him my interest. We hadn't really needed much of a verbal conversation about how we felt because we kind of just expressed it every day through actions and gestures. But this offer to share a bed was definitely the most bold I'd been the whole time. And I was about to be even more bold. I'm not sure if it was because I was so tired I was delusional or what, but I was making the moves tonight.
I rolled to face Florian and he watched me closely. He was always so polite to not push anything. I scooted closer until our bodies met and we were chest to chest. I leaned my head against his, keeping a close eye to see if he'd move in. He kept still as he continued the eye contact. I could see within his eyes he was fighting to do something. He was too polite for his own good. I knew he wanted to put a hand on my waist. That seemed to be something he did a lot anytime we were close. If he could at least have a hand on my waist then he was content it seemed.
I smirked at him teasingly, to which he narrowed his eyes at me. He knew what I was doing, but he was also too stubborn to change his game plan of not pushing anything. I knew I shouldn't. I knew it was cruel. But I was ready to push him. I leaned my face even closer to his and hovered mere centimeters from his lips. It was silent aside from his breathing which I concentrated on. It had picked up the closer I'd gotten, but I wasn't ready to let the inevitable happen quite yet.
I swiftly pushed Florian over on his back and easily slid over to straddle his waist. The man beneath me looked up in shock as my actions. All the while I was smirking at him teasingly. His face changed almost instantly to disbelief. But that didn't slow his breathing any as I placed my right hand down over the side of his neck and gently rubbed it while feeling his quick pulse. Leaning down, I let my other hand rest over his bare chest for support. Stopping next to his ear I stated,
"By the way, I don't know if I informed you earlier or not, but you're definitely not getting this shirt back."
I felt Florian huff and lightly shake his head, because he was tired of playing it safe.
"And what if I just take it back now."
He placed his hands at he bottom of the black fabric that was gathered up around my hips and grabbed it in his fists. I smiled into the side of his face and let my hands rub over his shaved head and down his neck.
"Then I'll have to keep stealing your shirts."
"Don't be silly."
Florian then flipped over so I landed back on my back against the bed and he laid on his side leaning over me. He had an arm wrapped around my back under the shirt as his hand gently rubbed over my lower back. He spoke lowly as he closed the space between us.
"I'd give you as many of my shirts as you wanted if it meant you'd walk around the apartment only wearing them. It's hot as fuck."
I gawked at Florian's forwardness but smiled as he pressed his lips down on top of mine. We were both smiling into the kiss until it deepened quickly. I let my hands rub all over the protruding muscles from his core and chest all the way up and over his shaved head and came to rest on the sides of his face. His hands squeezed my exposed sides and pulled me as close against his body as possible. We eventually broke from the kiss and stared at each other deeply.
"So.. are we ever going to talk about us?"
"I thought this was us talking about us?" Florian smirked.
I rolled my eyes before going on.
"Kissing doesn't count as talking."
"You're right.. it's a hell of a lot better and speaks a lot louder than words."
I smiled before connecting our lips again. Our legs entangled with one another as Florian kissed my lips quickly and softly over and over again before smiling down at me. His green brown eyes shown the most vibrant shades of green I'd seen in them. And his smile shown a genuine joy that gave my stomach butterflies. I loved that smile. And I was even more proud that I was the one that gave him that smile.
To be continued.
(word count: 4,564)