At the the girls apartment Monica and Phoebe are telling everyone about their coma guy.
"Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?" Chandler asks.
"He doesn't have anyone." Monica tells the group.
"Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible." Phoebe looks down at the ground.
"I can't believe you said woowoo. I don't even say woowoo." Joey says
"Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up!" Rachel. Turns on the TV.
"Finally." Audrey comments.
On the TV the presenter announces, "Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one."
Everyone had sat down around the TV besides Chandler who still stood in the kitchen.
"Y'know, we don't have to watch this. Weekend At Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax." Chandler suggests.
"C'mon Chandler, just sit down and watch." Audrey tries to convince him.
"She's your mom!" Joey joins in.
"Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?" Chandler exclaims.
"Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!" Rachel tells Chandler, only to his disgust.
"Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch." He retorts.
"C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast." Ross tries to cheer him up.
"Yeah, she's the best." Audrey adds.
"You can say that because she's not your mom." Chandler says.
"Oh, please..." Ross trails off.
Rachel goes over and opens the door to Paolo.
"Bona sera." He greets her.
"Oh, hi sweetie." She kisses him.
"When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?" Ross asks, unhappy about the new arrival.
"Last night." Monica tells him.
"Ah, so then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?... Just a dream I had- but, phew." He sarcastically jokes.
"Hey hey hey! She's on!" Phoebe gets their attention.
"Yay." Audrey turns her head towards the TV, excited and earns a glare from Chandler.
"Ah! Nora Bing!" Paolo gestures towards the TV.
On the Tv the presenter is talking to Chandlers mother, "Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?"
"Your mom was arrested?" Audrey turns and asks Chandler
"Shhh, busy beaming with pride." He answers.
"This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man..." Nora says on TV
"Now why would she say that's embarrassing?" Chandler interrupts but is then told to shut up by everyone.
"...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken." Mrs Bing continues on the TV
"THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!" Chandler tells at the TV.
"Alright, so now you're doing this whole book tour thing, how is that going?" The presenter asks her.
"Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate- but I get to see my son, who I love..." She trails off. Everyone awwws at this.
"This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone." Chandler exclaims.
"Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad..." the presenter tries to find the right words.
"Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms." Mrs Bing announces and everyone turns to stare at Chandler.
"And then he burst into flames." Chandler turns away from the group in embarrassment.
~~~
Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are all sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Audrey enters through the door and Mrs Bing stands up to greets her.
"Oh Audrey, it's so good to see you again." Mrs Bing bring her into a hug.
"It's good to seen you too Mrs Bing." Audrey hugs her back.
"Please, call me Nora, sweetie." She sits down And Audrey takes a seat next to Chandler.
"I am famished. What do I want..." Mrs Bing announces to the group as she looks over to Chandler's menu.
"Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken." Chandler whispers although his mother still hears him.
"Oh, you watched the show! What'd you think?" She asks him.
"Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little." Chandler retorts with sarcasm.
Ross enters the restaurants and starts talking to Mrs Bing; "What is this dive? Only you could've picked this place." He tells her.
"Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug." They hug and both sit down.
"Well, I think we're ready for some tequila." Nora announces to the table.
"I know I am." Chandler says, not wanting to be here at all.
"Who's doing shots?" Mrs Bing asks. Monica, Phoebe and all agree
"Ross?" She asks looking owner to him.
"Uh, I'm not really a shot drinking kinda guy." He tells her.
Rachel and Paolo Enter and are somewhat flustered.
"Hi! Sorry- sorry we're late, we, uh, kinda just, y'know, lost track of time." Rachel tells the group.
"...But a man can change." Ross downs a shot in jealousy.
~~~
Everyone is still at the restaurant, sitting around the table. Mrs Bing and Audrey are making small talk.
" Ya know, I really miss having you around with Chandler." Mrs Bing tells her patting her hand.
"I miss seeing you as well." Audrey replies.
"I remember when you and Chandler started dating, I though you were just the best person for Chandler." Everyone turns and looks, listening to what Mrs Bing had just said.
"Nora,Chandler and I never dated." Audrey says slowly.
"Sure you guys did. You were always hugging and laughing with each other, you were like the perfect couple." Mrs Bing continues on.
"Mom, Audrey and I are just friends." Chandler tells his mother.
"Okay, I'm sorry, I just really thought you guys were together." Mrs Bing drowns another shot. Chandler and Audrey share a look.
~~~
Ross is talking to Chandler at the boys apartment while Joey and Audrey are making a snack at the bar.
"Oh my God." Chandler exclaims in disbelief.
"You're my friend. I-I had to tell you." Ross tris to lie the best he could.
"I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?" Chandler asks Ross.
"Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh..." Ross catches sight of Joey scowling at him and gives in, "I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom."
"What?" Chandler is still in disbelief.
"Oh my god." Audrey adds, only learning about this now.
"I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo, and I think I had too much tequila, and Nora- um, Mrs. Mom- your Bing- was just being nice, y'know, and- But nothing happened, nothing- Ask Joey, Joey, uh, came in" Ross rambles on trying to convince him to go easy on him.
"You knew about this?" Chandler asks Joey.
"Uh... y'know, knowledge is a tricky thing." Joey now tries to save himself.
"I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!"
"Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened."
"Thanks, man, big help." Ross tells Joey.
"Did you know?" Chandler points his finger at Audrey, accusingly.
"Of course I didn't know. I would've told you if I knew." Audrey tells Chandler.
"I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?" Chandler turns back to Ross.
"I wasn't- I mean, I-" He tries to find the right words to calm down Chandler.
"Y'know, of all my friends, no-one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you." Chandler tells Ross, really pissed at him now.
"I know-" He trails off.
"I can't believe you did this." Chandler walks toward the door about to storm out.
"Me neither, y'know what-" Joey attempts to leave as well.
"I'm still mad at you for not telling me." Chandler tells Joey.
"Chandler-" Ross tries.
"You gotta let me slam the door!" He slams the door and walks out as Joey yells after him.
"See what happens when you break the code?" Joey tells at Ross.
~~~
Chandler and Audrey sit on the couch in Audrey's apartment. Audrey has her arm around Chandler and is trying to cheer him up.
"It's Ross, Chandler. We've known him since college, he would never do anything to hurt you." She tells him while rubbing his arm.
"I know, I'm just annoyed." He replies.
"He was drunk, he's done way more stupider things before, besides there were two people involved in that kiss."
"Yeah, I wanna talk to my mom about it."
"You should."
"Thanks Audrey." He smile at her and they hug.
"He don't act like we're dating do we?" Audrey asked him.
"No, it's just my mom being... my mom." He answers her.
"Hey, is all your stuff finally here?" Chandler asks her, realising the large amount of boxes stacked in the corner of the room.
"Yeah, the last of it arrived on Thursday." She tells him.
"I'll help you unpack later." He tells her as he gets up to leave.
"See you later then." She tells him as he walks towards the door.
"Bye." He closes the door behind him.
~~~
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