• • •
Chara brought one of the square, chocolate desserts to her lips, enjoying the chewy texture whilst staring intently at Papyrus' scribbling hand.
He wrote neatly in exaggerated cursive with various colors on a new spiral note book he'd bought her. It was green, her favorite.
Currently, it was covered in stickers. Papyrus had gotten carried away.
A day after returning home from the carnival, he pulled her aside and handed her the note book.
"REMEBER HOW I SAID I WANTED TO HELP YOU?" He'd said, and Chara didn't mask her confusion.
She led him into her room, and he began explaining.
He'd seen her fascination with bright yellow and the way that blue prize shifted her expression. After frequent observation, he'd come up with a system to help her. Though grateful, Chara was slightly disturbed by the 'observing her' fact.
Had he seen her nearly die from that brain freeze?
"DONE!" Papyrus declares, snapping Chara from her thoughts and holding out the book. Chara looks at it quizzically.
It was a list. Each bullet point was accompanied by a box filled with a certain color.
"I don't understand," Chara says.
"WHENEVER YOU FEEL SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN'T DESCRIBE, CONNECT IT TO A COLOR SO YOU ARE ABLE TO TELL WHAT IT IS!" He states proudly. "TRY IT! DESCRIBE A TIME YOU FELT UNSURE ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE FEELING."
Chara tries not to look dumbfounded. "Okay.." She clears her throat.
"I'm sure I've felt this before, but I'm not sure. Frisk is always here, but it was like she wasn't." Chara sighs. "I guess.. there's a difference between knowing you're by yourself, and actually feeling like you're the only one left," Chara mutters, fiddling with a gray marker.
"YEAH, THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE THIS," Papyrus points to the page and Chara follows his hand down to the color. Upon reading the emotion, she frowns.
"Oh," she trails off, watching Papyrus close the notebook. He picks it up and hands it to her.
"I'M SURE IT'LL HELP, BE SURE TO USE IT!" She accepts it, mumbling a chaste thank you.
It's heavy.
- - -
The two spend the next few minutes talking. Chara would share her times of uncertainty, and Papyrus would name a color in response.
At times he'd prattle on about how to go about certain feelings, repeating that it's important to step back and breathe.
Chara doesn't care for his speeches. The way he raises his pointer finger speaks with intense pride. He's so incredibly theatrical, it almost makes her laugh.
She doesn't understand why his scarf is red. It should be yellow.
The door flies open without a knock and Sans barges in. The nerve.
Chara slips the notebook behind her back.
"What're you guys up to?" There's that stare again, so judgmental and full of hate. She can't stand how he tries to act like he didn't just storm into her room, again, without any indication of sudden entry.
"SANS, IT'S RUDE NOT TO KNOCK," Papyrus tells him, but Sans doesn't look even remotely apologetic.
"Sorry, Paps," he replies preoccupied. He's scanning her, searching for reason to scorn.
Chara can't bite back her annoyance any longer.
"You can see that everything's fine, I haven't harmed your precious brother," Chara retorts, full of snark. "Now if you don't mind, get out." She ignores Papyrus' frown. He'd told her not to retort, but she would make no adjustments for Sans.
"My brother is my business," he snaps back. "Just making sure you don't get ahead of yourself." He glances at Papyrus, then back to her. "That's all."
Chara feels herself tremble with rage. It burns and it hurts all at the same time. Regret she hoped had long passed resurfaces.
He needs to leave, now.
"Red," she whispers harshly, knowing Papyrus would understand.
He sets a comforting hand on her knee before standing up.
"WE WERE ABOUT DONE ANYWAYS." Sans, with a pleased smile on his face, turns to leave with Papyrus close behind. Before shutting the door, he looks back to smile at Chara.
She doesn't return it.
Chara watches the door close, glad for a bit of solitude. There's something there though, deep down.
She removes the notebook from behind her, opening it up. Chara looks to the color Papyrus had pointed out.
Light blue, loneliness.
There was also yellow for happiness and dark blue, sadness.
Her time in the vibrant hue was brief, but it had happened. It was warm, and she'd wanted to smile.
Blue rained down on her instantly. It was like a flood. It diluted the yellow until it was void of all strength. It continued to fill her, to soak her in her own tears and send her barreling into a hurricane. Her heart would be tossed violently by the current, pulled under and brought to the brink of drowning. There'd be a quick second of air, only for her to be forced back down.
Chara shuts the book and shoved it under her mattress.
There's talking outside. Chara doesn't listen in like she used to, it's distant mumbling now. Instead, she wants to partake in it, but also would rather stay inside the comfort of her room.
Chara leans against the door, immediately hearing laughter. It's sounds so airy, and Chara yearns.
Has she ever made that sound?
She storms to her bed and flops onto the it, slightly bouncing due to the springs. Away from the door, away from the noise.
Never mind, she can still hear them. Chara clutches her pillow and slams it over her face, covering her ears.
The pillowcase is light yellow, and Chara wants to throw it across the room.
She removes it from her eyes, sliding it backwards so it's still sheltering her ears. Her stare lands on the wall.
The first accessory to decorate her bland room was a painting of a rainbow. Papyrus gave it to her, and she had him hang it right above her bed.
Huh, maybe she does feel yellow.
Chara leaps from her bed, intent on finding something to do. She's definitely just bored, not lonely.
She wanders to her closet and begins looking through her garments, sifting through newly store bought clothes and Frisk hand-me-downs. They're mainly black. A few reds and blues present.
Chara purses her lips. Those weren't the happiest of colors, is that all she'd been wearing? What did black even mean? It was so dark, even worse than blue. Chara shakes away the thought and delves deeper into her closet.
There are a few board games in the back, but none of them are something she can enjoy alone. Chara closes the closet with a groan and rests her back against it.
What did she usually occupy herself with? The first few days were a battle with her mind, but that draining, terror-filled buzz in her brain was gone.
She heads to her desk and sits down, it'd gained a few object since she arrived. Anime from Alphys (which she couldn't watch because there's no TV), a snail book handmade by Toriel that she definitely doesn't want to read, and occasional chocolate from Frisk, but she already ate today's surprise of milk chocolate with caramel filling.
Chara lays her head down on the hard wood, lifting back up only to slam back down. It starts to hurt, and she eventually stops to look up.
The sun is warm on her face. Maybe she could go outside?
And do what? Her mind inquires, and that notion is tossed to the wind. That's when she notices the light blue sky, similar to the shade on the chart.
Why would the sky be lonely? It had all the clouds. Of course there are days where the white masses never arrive to greet the atmosphere, but the sun is always there to cast its glow.
Chara's brows furrow. What color was the sun? She'd guess white, but sometimes it looked yellow. Upon limited inspection, Chara can even see hints of green and blue. It's confusing.
The sky probably wasn't friends with the sun.
She frowns, she'd accept the sun. A soul was bright like the sun. All she had was emptiness. Chara put a hand to her chest, her heartbeat was there, alone, aching. Reluctantly, she glances at her mattress.
The spirals of her notebook were peeking from beneath.
• • •
Her door creaks upon opening and Chara finds herself immediately regretting her decision. She attempts opening it gradually, but the squeaking only increases.
There's light cheering, assumably from the television, and much louder chuckles, clear, real. All made without her. Evaporating into the air without her giggles. Lips curved, unaware they're one pink pair short.
Each step is deafening. Chara waits for the noise to die down, for someone to ask: "Hey, what's that sound?" and Chara would have to sprint back to her room at mad speed.
Why hadn't anyone just invited her to join them? Even Papyrus wasn't courteous enough to do so, and he's annoyingly gracious.
There's a chance she gave the impression that laughing alongside them sounded like damnation rather than a good time. Chara supposes that was true at one point, but certainly not now. Now, it's all she wants.
Something snaps, and she's speeding into the living room. The spot next to Frisk is surprisingly free, so she drops down beside her without a greeting.
Frisk gives her a side glance, and Papyrus turns to grin at her. Sans, as suspected, doesn't even look in her direction.
"Do you need anything?" Frisk asks kindly and Chara just shakes her head, not meeting her eyes.
When she suspects Frisk isn't paying attention to her anymore, she looks to her, to everyone.
They're all sitting, comfortable and beside her. It's warm. It's company.
"I didn't want to be by myself," she whispers, almost in realization.
Frisk, though it's as if nobody heard Chara admit, smiles briefly, unobserved by Chara as they continue to watch TV, laughing and enjoying the live action film.
Chara can't say she finds the movie suspenseful or amusing, but she lets the performance tug at her lips anyways.
• • •
Author's Note
Somewhat uneventful chapter but I hope I conveyed what I needed to.
The next chapter will be a bit more emotional, and much longer.. but that depends on perspective lol
Hope you enjoyed! Bye!~~