Neil Knight Private Dick

By PeterSorenson

3.4K 534 39

He's relaxing in a hotel with his two dogs and a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle bourbon when she knocks on his do... More

It's not as bad as it looks
I Have My Own Money
Sour Mash Cures
A Load of Horseshit
Good Friend Good Buddy
Estúpido Mojado
The Crazy Chicken
No Better than Fish Chum
Relaxing Spincters
Welcome to the Hood
We're all Puppets
Hygiene Matters
Frankie Wants a Memory
That Shit Should be Patented
I Wrote an App
Yorba Linda
Jackson Pollo Pollock
What Kind of Name is Cotton Spradley?
A Grander Scheme
Lieutenant Fatass
Chicken sa Gata
Pandora Boxx
Break a Leg Norma
One More Piece to the Puzzle
Goi Cuo
Translucent Hefty Package
Sunza Bitches
In a Blackish Kind of Way
Goddamn Pepperbellies
Coca Cola
Hawaiian BBQ Chicken
Talk to the Wife, Carlos
Crazy as a Loon
That'll Work
Dick Pic
I've Got an Idea
Ella es Lesbiana
Worst Case I Get Laid
Cogito Ergo Sum
I Gotta Pee Again
Speculation and Conjecture
Fuckee Dogs
The Guys a Fucking Genius
I Don't Understand...
Have Fun
Follame
Let's get Some Fried Chicken

The Dry Heaves were doing Wonders for her Abs

52 9 0
By PeterSorenson

"Lieutenant Goldstone on the line Sheriff."

"Put him through."

"Lieutenant" answered WilsonWatson "what can I do for you."

"I just wanted to let you know where the Lopers landed" he said. "20510 Regal Oaks Drive. The house right across from that darkie record producer and his 'sorta rican' wife."

"Hang on" replied the sheriff as she pulled up the residential database for Yorba Linda. "That's the home of that son of a bitch Spradley. You know, the one who made that phone app that got removed from the market. The one that tracked the goddamn police for fucks sake. Him and his pole dancing wife."

'What the hell were they doing there?' thought WilsonWatson.

"How long did they stay?" she asked the lieutenant.

"About twenty minutes. In and out. No shots fired. They unpacked from their SUVs and then repacked and drove off. Like they were making a social call."

'What the hell were they doing there?' thought WilsonWatson.

"Anything else?"

"I stayed about five minutes after they cleared out just to see if there was any other activity."

"Nothin' from inside the house, but as I was pullin' away I saw the black woman in my rear-view mirror walking from her house toward 20510, followed by her husband a few seconds later."

"But I thought I should tail the gang caravan out of the neighborhood to see if they stopped anywhere else. They didn't. Just hopped on the freeway south."

"I already knew that" she stated. "We picked that much up on the cameras."

"Oh, right" he replied, totally forgetting about the surveillance network.

"I wish you'd stayed outside the Spradley's home Rip. It would've been helpful to get a little more information on why the Shams visited so soon after Vinnie's visit. Never trusted that whole 'Everybody Wins" bullshit. Especially when his daddy was taken out by the good men of the LAPD in the Watts Rebellion back in '65. He's gotta hold a grudge."

'What the hell were they doing there?' thought WilsonWatson.

"I didn't know his father had been..."

"Hey. No harm, no foul Rip" she replied. "You did good. I have to make another call. Keep up the good work lieutenant."

And with that the line went dead.

The compliment was half-hearted Rip thought. Like a pat on the head. She'd wanted him to stay put and watch the Spradley house like her personal watchdog.

Well, Rip Goldstone wasn't anyone's 'boy'. He was a man of action.

But right now, the four egg and cheese burritos he'd eaten while on stakeout, which he washed down with a grande coffee, were insisting on another type of action, so he grabbed the morning paper and headed into his own personal fortress of solitude.

"Riganti."

"It's Helen WilsonWatson."

'Why the hell did the woman ALWAYS insist on the whole using the double last name bullshit' he thought to himself.

"Good to hear from you Sheriff" he responded. "What's on your mind?"

"Something strange going on up in Yorba Linda Tony. Seems the Lopers visited that trillionaire hillbilly Shams today. We don't know why. He stayed there for a quick twenty-minute visit and left. No bodies. No blood."

"Hmmm."

"Then the blacks from across the street, you know the Rap, Hip Hop darkie and his Puerto Rican wife visited too."

"Filipino."

"Whatever her name is, I don't care."

"No. She IS a Filipino. She's from the Philippines. She's not black."

"Jesus Tony. Who gives a shit? Filipino Filischmino. The point is they went over to visit the Shams after Vinnie and his boys left."

'See' he thought to himself 'the rummy thinks that double name bullshit gives her the right to talk that way to him. I should tell her that Wilson-Watson is supposed to be hyphenated. Let her think about that one.'

"Understood Sheriff. Your controlled and balanced approach to sharing information is always refreshing."

The sarcasm was lost on her.

"No idea why Helen? Did Rip have any ideas?"

"The son of a bitch followed the Lopers back instead of staying put."

"Ahh Rip. Our independent incontinent. Well then Helen, let me know if you get any additional information. This might require Rip keeping his eyes on the rich rednecks."

"I'll tell him to do that" replied the Sheriff.

"On another front Helen" continued the DA "we received a tip about our Mayor from an anonymous source the other day. Seems our 'high roller' might be hiding something, or quite possibly have broken the law. Any rumblings that you've heard about?"

"Not that I've heard of, but I'll ask around. You think it might have to do with gambling or debt?"

"With our Mayor it ALWAYS has to do with gambling or debt" he offered. "Anyway, my office is going to do a little digging and we might need someone to 'poke around' if we find something. Do you have anyone available for 'side work'?"

"There are a lot of good men here Tony. We made a lot of friends in the rank and file with the snitch program. Let me know when you need some help and I'll assign a foot soldier."

"Very good Helen. Let's schedule another night when we can talk about our city over some shots and a few cold ones."

WilsonWatson grimaced.

"That's be great."

"Call me" said Tony and hung up the phone.

Yeah great. The dry heaves were doing wonders for her abs. 

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